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- { Softporn Adventure, include file 6 }
- marry :
- {========}
- begin
- if noun<>_girl then
- write_message('No way, weirdo!!')
- else if not is_here(_girl) then
- write_message('No girl!!')
- else if your_place<>c_marryc then
- not_yet_but_maybe_later
- else if (money<30) or (not is_carried(_wallet)) then
- begin
- if (money<20) or (not is_carried(_wallet)) then
- write_message( 'The girl says: ' +
- '''But you''ll need $2000 for the honeymoon suite!''');
- write_message('The preacher says ''I''ll need $1000 too!!''');
- end
- else
- begin
- write_long_message( 66 );
- money := money - 30;
- object_place[_girl] := c_hmoons;
- married_to_girl := true;
- path[c_hallwy,south] := c_hmoons;
- end;
- end; {marry}
- fuck : { seduce, rape, screw }
- {========}
- begin
- if (not is_here(noun)) and (not is_carried(noun)) and (noun<>_you) then
- find_me_one
- else case noun of
- _hooker:
- begin
- if hooker_fucked then
- write_message('She can''t take it any more!!!!')
- else
- begin
- if rubber_worn then
- begin
- hooker_fucked := true;
- score := score + 1;
- write_long_message( 51 )
- end
- else
- begin
- write_message('Oh no!!! ' +
- 'I''ve got the dreaded atomic clap!!! I''m dead!!');
- purgatory;
- end
- end;
- end;
- _doll:
- begin
- if is_carried(_doll) then
- if doll_inflated then
- begin
- write_long_message( 52 );
- object_place[_doll] := nowhere;
- objects_carried := objects_carried - 1;
- end
- else
- write_message('Inflate it first -- stupid!!!')
- else
- write_message('I can''t unless I''m holding it close');
- end;
- _girl:
- begin
- case your_place of
- c_hmoons:
- begin
- if wine_ordered then
- begin
- write_long_message( 54 );
- girl_2_fucked := true;
- score := score + 1;
- tied_to_bed := true;
- object_place[_girl] := p_jacuzi;
- object_place[_rope] := your_place;
- end
- else
- write_message('She says ''Get me wine!!! I''m nervous!!''');
- end;
- p_jacuzi:
- begin
- if apple_given then
- begin
- score := score + 1;
- write_long_message( 53 );
- game_ended := true;
- end
- else
- not_yet_but_maybe_later
- end;
- else not_yet_but_maybe_later
- end; { case your_place of }
- end;
- _bartender:
- begin
- write_message('He jumps over the bar and kills me!!');
- purgatory;
- end;
- _you: write_message('Not tonight -- I have a headache!!');
- _waitress: write_message
- ('She kicks me in the groin and says ''Wise up - Buster!!''');
- _blonde: write_message('She says ''I''m working! Leave me alone!!''');
- _pimp: write_message('He says ''You''ll never have enough money ' +
- 'for me - fool!''. I guess he''s gay!');
- _bum: write_message('To do that I need vaseline!!');
- _businessman: write_message('No way!!! You''re weird!!');
- _off: write_message('Fuck off yourself, asshole!!!');
- else write_message('Pervert!');
- end; { case noun of }
- end; {fuck}
- wear : { use }
- {========}
- begin
- if (not is_here(noun)) and (not is_carried(noun)) and (noun<>_knife) then
- find_me_one
- else case noun of
- _rubber:
- begin
- write_message('It tickles!!');
- rubber_worn := true;
- object_place[_rubber] := youhavit;
- end;
- _toilet:
- begin
- write_message('.....I got those constipation blues..........');
- writeln('Ahhh...relief! Thanks');
- end;
- _bed:
- begin
- write_message('Ahhhhh.......sleep!!!!');
- delay(1000);
- writeln('No, I can''t sleep! Have to find me a girl!!!!');
- end;
- _rope:
- begin
- if is_carried(_rope) then
- begin
- if your_place=b_balcny then
- begin
- object_place[_rope] := your_place;
- rope_in_use := true;
- write_message('You tie the safety rope to the balcony');
- end
- else
- not_yet_but_maybe_later
- end
- else
- I_dont_have_it
- end;
- _passcard:
- begin
- if is_carried(_passcard) then
- begin
- if your_place=d_entrnc then
- begin
- write_message('I show my passcard and the door opens');
- path[d_entrnc,west] := d_disco;
- end
- else
- not_yet_but_maybe_later
- end
- else
- I_dont_have_it
- end;
- _knife:
- begin
- write_message('Let me see if I still have the knife!');
- delay(600);
- if is_carried(_knife) then
- begin
- if tied_to_bed then
- begin
- write_message('I do and it worked! Thanks!');
- tied_to_bed := false;
- end
- else
- begin
- write_message('Samurai sex fiend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!');
- delay(600);
- writeln('I stab myself in extacy!');
- purgatory;
- end;
- end
- else
- I_dont_have_it
- end;
- else
- I_cant_do_that
- end;
- end; {wear/use}
- answer :
- {========}
- begin
- if not is_here(noun) then
- find_me_one
- else if noun<>_telephone then
- I_cant_do_that
- else if telephone_ringing then
- begin
- writeln;
- writeln('A girl says ''Hi honey! This is ',girl_name,'. Dear, why');
- writeln('don''t you forget this game and ',girl_do,' with me????');
- writeln('After all, your ',your_part,' has always turned me on!!!!');
- writeln('So bring a ',your_object,' and come play with my ',girl_part,
- '!''');
- writeln('She hangs up!');
- telephone_ringing := false;
- telephone_answered := true;
- end
- else
- write_message('It''s not ringing!');
- end; {answer}
- call : { dial }
- {========}
- begin
- if your_place=p_pntpch then
- write_message('This only takes incoming calls!!')
- else if (full_noun='6969') and (not called_555_6969) then
- begin
- writeln;
- writeln('A voice says ''Hello, please answer the questions ',
- 'with one word answers:');
- write('What''s your favorite girls name? '); readln(girl_name);
- write('Name a nice part of her anatomy! '); readln(girl_part);
- write('What do you like to do with her? '); readln(girl_do);
- write('And the best part of your body? '); readln(your_part);
- write('Finally, your favorite object? '); readln(your_object);
- writeln('He hangs up!');
- called_555_6969 := true;
- for i:=1 to length(girl_name) do
- girl_name[i] :=locase(girl_name[i]);
- girl_name[1] := upcase(girl_name[1]);
- for i:=1 to length(girl_part) do
- girl_part[i] :=locase(girl_part[i]);
- for i:=1 to length(girl_do) do
- girl_do[i] :=locase(girl_do[i]);
- for i:=1 to length(your_part) do
- your_part[i] :=locase(your_part[i]);
- for i:=1 to length(your_object) do
- your_object[i] :=locase(your_object[i]);
- end
- else if (full_noun='0439') and (not called_555_0439) then
- begin
- write_long_message( 67 );
- called_555_0439 := true;
- end
- else if (full_noun='0987') and married_to_girl and
- (not called_555_0987) then
- begin
- write_long_message( 68 );
- wine_ordered := true;
- called_555_0987 := true;
- object_place[_wine] := c_hmoons;
- end
- else
- write_message('Nobody answers');
- end; {call/dial}
- break : { smash }
- {========}
- begin
- if not is_here(noun) then
- find_me_one
- else if noun=_window then
- begin
- write_message('Let me see if I have a hammer');
- delay(400);
- if is_carried(_hammer) then
- begin
- write_message('The window smashes to pieces');
- path[b_wledge,south] := b_inroom;
- end
- else
- I_dont_have_it
- end
- else
- I_cant_do_that
- end; {break/smash}
- cut :
- {========}
- begin
- write_message('Let me see if I still have the knife!');
- delay(600);
- if is_carried(_knife) then
- begin
- if (noun=_rope) and tied_to_bed then
- begin
- write_message('I do and it worked! Thanks!');
- tied_to_bed := false;
- end
- else
- begin
- write_message('Samurai sex fiend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!');
- delay(600);
- writeln('I stab myself in extacy!');
- purgatory;
- end;
- end
- else
- I_dont_have_it;
- end; {cut}
- dance :
- {========}
- begin
- writeln;
- for i:=1 to 3 do
- begin
- delay(500);
- writeln('Boogie Woogie!!!');
- delay(500);
- writeln('Yeh Yeh Yeh!!!');
- end;
- writeln('I got the steps, man!!');
- end; {dance}
- kill :
- {========}
- write_message('Try using a knife!!!');
- pay :
- {========}
- begin
- if not is_here(noun) then
- find_me_one
- else case noun of
- _pimp:
- begin
- if hooker_fucked then
- write_message('He says ''I don''t want your money - stud!''')
- else
- write_message('Try going up -- he''ll take the money then');
- end;
- _hooker:
- write_message('You already paid the Pimp, stupid!!');
- _blonde,_waitress,_girl:
- begin
- write_message('She yells ''I''m not a whore!!!'' and kills me!');
- purgatory;
- end;
- _preacher:
- write_message
- ('Bring a girl here to marry -- he''ll take the money then!');
- _businessman:
- write_message('He''s too drunk to do business right now!');
- _bartender:
- write_message('Buy something -- he''ll take the money then');
- _dealer:
- write_message('Why not play 21 instead? You''ll lose anyway, fool!');
- else
- I_cant_do_that;
- end;
- end; {pay}
- smoke :
- {========}
- begin
- if noun=_plant then
- begin
- write_message('A cop beats me over the head!!!!');
- purgatory;
- end
- else
- I_cant_do_that;
- end; {smoke}
- show :
- {========}
- begin
- if noun=_passcard then
- begin
- if is_carried(_passcard) then
- begin
- if your_place=d_entrnc then
- begin
- write_message('I show my passcard and the door opens');
- path[d_entrnc,west] := d_disco;
- end
- else
- not_yet_but_maybe_later
- end
- else
- I_dont_have_it
- end
- else
- I_cant_do_that;
- end; {show}
- smell :
- {========}
- begin
- if (not is_here(noun)) and (not is_carried(noun)) then
- find_me_one
- else case noun of
- _blonde: write_message('Hmmm.....nice!!!!');
- _hooker: write_message('OK, who''s eating tuna fish?!?!?!');
- _toilet: write_message('Arghhh...I''m going to puke!!!!!!');
- _plant: write_message('Ahhh..chooo!!!!!! I guess I''m allergic!');
- _garbage: write_message('Yechhhhh!!!!!');
- _flowers: write_message('Smells like perfume!!!');
- else write_message('Smells OK');
- end;
- end; {smell}
- help :
- {========}
- begin
- give_help;
- end; {help}
- kiss :
- {========}
- begin
- write_message('Don''t do that!!!! It gets me excited!!');
- end; {kiss}
- stab :
- {========}
- begin
- stab_someone;
- end; {stab}
- quit : { stop, bye }
- {========}
- begin
- game_ended := true;
- end; {quit}
- show_score :
- {========}
- begin
- writeln;
- writeln('Your score is ''',score,''' out of a possible ''3''');
- end; {show_score}
- save :
- {========}
- begin
- p := pos(' ',objnam);
- if p>0 then objnam := copy(objnam,1,p-1);
- assign( save_file, save_file_name(objnam) );
- rewrite( save_file );
- write( save_file, game_position );
- close( save_file );
- write_message( save_file_name(objnam) + ' saved' );
- end; {save}
- restore :
- {========}
- begin
- p := pos(' ',objnam);
- if p>0 then objnam := copy(objnam,1,p-1);
- {$I-}
- write_message( 'Restoring from ' + save_file_name(objnam) );
- writeln;
- assign( save_file, save_file_name(objnam) );
- reset( save_file );
- iores := IoResult;
- if iores=0 then
- begin
- read( save_file, game_position );
- iores := IoResult;
- end;
- {$I+}
- if iores=1 then
- write_message( save_file_name(objnam) + ' never saved' )
- else if (iores=$90) or (iores=$91) then
- write_message( save_file_name(objnam) + ' is bad' )
- else if iores<>0 then
- begin
- writeln;
- writeln( 'I/O error ', iores );
- end
- else
- write_long_message( integer(your_place) + 1 );
- close( save_file );
- end; {restore}
- else {anything else}
- I_cant_do_that;
-
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