namechange.md 6.4 KB
% Namechange
Table of contents {#pagetop}
Why change name -- Online persona -- Friends and family -- Officialy -- Peculiarities
Why change name {#intro}
Having a name corresponding to your gender is the ultimate goal of transitioning socially. Once people start calling you by your chosen name it will require of them conscious effort to keep misgendering you. That is the power of gendered names. Little by little most will simply start seeing you as your proper gender. This effect is especially pronounced in online communities. Therefor it is important to emphasize to others to call you by the correct name. Calling you by the old wrong name on purpose is deadnaming, a form of transphobia.
There are several contexts where you can change your name. This depends on the person, but here we describe several levels. The easiest place is online. You can also come out to your friends and family. The most challenging one from a bureaucratic point of view is to change your legal name. Note that if people still gender you as the doctors did when you were born, but then get introduced to your new name, they will know you are trans.
Online persona {#online}
Many transgender people start transitioning online. This is safe because you can hide any links to yourself if you are not too certain, or don't want to come out to the people near you. Moreover you can test the waters by interacting with others using a new identity. This is nice if you are still wondering.
Online transitioning involves simply changing your usernames, display names and contact details to reflect the gender you are transitioning to, or to something else if you are non-binary. For example simply subscribe to a new email address or perhaps add an alias to your old one. Think about whether you want to start a completely new identity with no links to your previous one, or if you want them to be related. Having a link between the identities implies coming out to those who know of both. Whatever is ever online will stay there forever. So think carefully.
Friends and family {#friends}
Asking your friends and family to call you by a new name is not easy. This is related to coming out to them, but neither implies the other. If you haven't come out, then asking to be called by a different name means you need to come out to them. If you have already come out, then asking them to change how to call you is easy for you, but might not be easy for them. Previously they didn't really have to change their behaviour around you, but now they do. Finally, now they really have to start gendering you correctly. Therefor go easy on them as long as they don't deadname you on purpose. And remember that your parents might have spent a lot of time choosing your birth name, and so it might not be easy for them to change their ways overnight.
Just as with coming out, everyone will now be in two classes: those who should use your new name, and those who don't know it. Before revealing your name to somebody, think in which contexts you want them to call you by that name. Would you want them to call that name in public? Near your colleagues? Near random people in a bar? Near your transphobic aunt to show their support? Think about that and the associated risks and benefits. Perhaps the safest way is to first ask them to use the new name only in one-on-one communication.
Officially {#official}
Changing your legal name and gender requires a legal process which might be as simple as ticking a box online (yay Norway!), or require several years of living in your true gender and several recommendation letters from psychologists. This depends on the law in your country. Without going into the details which might not apply everywhere we describe here several places where your legal name and/or gender is printed, and which you should figure out how to change.
Identity card / legal name
Your legal name is used on any official documents in your country. This might include bills, housing contracts, insurance contracts, the name doctors, clerks, and other officials call you. Once your legal name has been changed, remember to update it wherever it is required.
Passport
Once your legal name has been changed, you should apply for a new passwort reflecting that change. If not, you would have to use your old name when traveling, and depending on country this might cause difficulties if you have to contact your embassy while abroad. Note that typically all your visas become invalid when changing passport. If you have dual citizenship, consider whether you want or can change your legal name in both countries and update both passports.
When applying for a new passport, it is safest to present yourself in gender neutral clothes for the photo if your name is gendered differently than the gender label in the passport. See peculiarities. For example looking female with a male gender label is not illegal. It is just risky when traveling to certain countries. Immigration officials are not always the friendliest of people.
Other certificates
After changing your legal name (and possibly gender), you can try to amend past documents that have your old name. Important documents include your birth certificate, your current contracts (e.g. employment, rental, subscriptions, name in online services), your bank and credit cards, your past degree certificates, possibly your past employment records or work certificates. Your government might provide an exhaustive list of companies and agencies which have your name in their records.
Peculiarities {#peculiar}
Some online services allow changing your displayed name but not the username. In these services it is worth creating a new user if you are bothered by being reminded of your wrong name.
Changing the legal name does not necessarily mean that you will have the correct legal gender on your documents. This depends on country.
In the UK even if you have the correct legal gender you need to spend some extra effort to amend your birth certificate. Otherwise you might end up in the wrong jail in case of trouble with the law.