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		<header>
			<h1>My first crush?</h1>
			<p>Day 00893: Wednesday, 2017 August 16</p>
		</header>
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		I took a slightly-different route to Eugene this time.
		I thought I&apos;d found a spot I needed to refrain from leaving the bike path last time.
		However, it seems I need to leave the bike path after all, then get on this other bike path that I&apos;d thought was connected.
		It&apos;s not connected, or isn&apos;t connected in the way I thought it was at the very least.
		I ended up getting lost on the way there, but it worked out because I left so early (I was hoping to get home early too).
	</p>
	<p>
		When I arrived at the street I needed to be on, I travelled down it just enough to get a couple address numbers so I could get my bearings, figure out what side of the street to be on, and find the correct direction to travel down it.
		Before I could check the address again on my mobile, I noticed the second building I&apos;d looked at for an address actually had the name of the clinic I needed to reach on it.
		That was easy.
		It wasn&apos;t too far from the main road.
		The actual process was uneventful.
		They copied my pay stub, then sent me on my way.
	</p>
	<p>
		I tried to take an alternate route back, too, so I got lost again.
		As I take more trips to Eugene though and continue failing to optimise the route, I&apos;ll learn the area and eventually get it right.
		I braked for lunch once I knew where I was, then continued home.
	</p>
	<p>
		When I got home, too much time had passed.
		I wouldn&apos;t be able to start laundry without fear that it wouldn&apos;t be done in time for work.
		I&apos;ve already planned to try to visit my mother tomorrow, so the laundry will have to wait until the next day, unless I want to do it tonight or tomorrow, after work, past midnight.
		(Hint: I don&apos;t.)
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="dreams">
	<h2>Dream journal</h2>
	<p>
		I dreamed that someone talked me into installing another Linux variant.
		Supposedly, it was fully-free, and it was definitely quick to install.
		However, after installing it, I read what the self-proclaimed advantages of this system were over other systems.
		The list mentioned Debian, saying that Debian was too hung up over licensing.
		In other words, this system <strong>*wasn&apos;t*</strong> so worried about licensing, and so it wasn&apos;t fully free.
		I regretted installing it, knowing it wouldn&apos;t work out, and knew I was going to have to put my laptop out of commission for  couple days so I could get Debian installed again.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="library">
	<h2>Library task list</h2>
	<p>
		I received an email from Catholic Community Services alerting me to the fact that they think I put the incorrect birth date on the application I filled out.
		Specifically, the year of the date looked wrong.
		Sure enough, I accidentally put 2017 as my birth year.
		Oops.
		Like a zero-year-old is going to be of any help to them.
		It&apos;s delayed processing of my application, but hopefully not by too much.
	</p>
	<p>
		Being too short on time to do laundry, I decided to head to the library for what will be the second-to-final book I use for the challenge.
		At first, I was going to bike over, but decided I&apos;d rather get a short walk in.
		As I thought about my wanting to walk, I realised that subconsciously, I probably only wanted to walk because my bike got stolen there.
		I don&apos;t want it stolen again, and my subconscious mind is trying to keep that from happening.
		Seriously; I think my subconscious is fretting about the bike a lot more than my conscious mind realises.
	</p>
	<p>
		I checked out <a href="urn:isbn:9780141439976">The Time Machine</a>.
		If not for the rule that a given book can only mark off up to two squares on the &quot;bingo&quot; board, this would be the final book I need.
		Instead, once I read this and The Voyages of Doctor Dolittle, I&apos;ll take a look at exactly which two squares each book should fill.
		If I can leave unfilled the most generic squares possible, I might be able to choose any book I want from the library as my final book.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="mental">
	<h2>Mental health watch</h2>
	<p>
		One of my coworkers accidentally called me by my birth name, which several of them that&apos;ve known me a while do sometimes.
		I told everyone they didn&apos;t have to switch names an long as the name on my pay cheques was updated, but everyone got on board and started calling me by my preferred name.
		When they call me by the wrong name, they correct themselves if they notice, and I tell them &quot;Either way.&quot; to let them know I don&apos;t mind whatever name they want to call me.
		This time, I overheard him talking to another coworker as I continued dealing with a customer.
		&quot;It can&apos;t be either way though, that&apos;s why he (sic) changed it.&quot;
		Yes!
		This guy understands!
		I mean, I honestly don&apos;t mind if they continue calling me whatever, but I&apos;ve never liked my birth name, and I want to be rid of it.
		I thought to myself that I knew there was a reason I liked this guy, and I got kind of a warm feeling.
		From then on, whenever he was near me, I&apos;d get this pleasant feeling in my butt.
		I think I got my first crush today.
	</p>
	<p>
		I can&apos;t have this guy though, he&apos;s married.
		To a woman.
		Not only is he not gay, he&apos;s already taken.
	</p>
	<p>
		It wasn&apos;t a strong feeling, nothing even close to overwhelming like I&apos;ve heard crushes are, and it&apos;s on someone I already knew.
		I&apos;ve concluded that I&apos;m not the type that fall into infatuation on first sight, though I have had lust at first sight with other people.
		I think I develop infatuation more slowly, and it&apos;ll probably build if I don&apos;t find a way to nip this madness in the bud.
		Furthermore, this dude&apos;s a know meat-eater.
		I guess my heart doesn&apos;t care about that after all.
		That should make finding a mate easier, as I don&apos;t have to find a fellow vegan.
		Furthermore, I&apos;ve had more-meaningful exchanges with two, if not three, of the women at work.
		I didn&apos;t feel like this, yet I&apos;m closer to those people.
		I&apos;ve concluded that I&apos;m not biromantic after all.
		Otherwise, I would&apos;ve fallen for these people already.
		When viewed through the lens of logic, I feel like I could fall in love with a woman as long as sex wasn&apos;t involved, but my heart doesn&apos;t seem to want to play by the rules of logic.
		Whatever; I&apos;ll figure this out.
	</p>
	<p>
		Having a heart is stupid.
		My heart itself is pretty stupid too, if it can&apos;t figure out that the married heterosexual isn&apos;t a good match for me.
		Clearly my heart and the rest of my mind are operating on different circuits.
		Did I mention this guy&apos;s cute though, too?
		I thought he was pretty cute as soon as my sexuality started revealing itself.
		And I&apos;ve thought he was funny for years.
		Come to think of it, he&apos;s the same guy that was trying not to offend me yesterday with his gay jokes.
		He cares about how I feel.
		I mean, it&apos;s not like I&apos;m special to him or anything; he&apos;s probably just a caring person.
		Still, I guess that&apos;s what my heart wants: some combination of caring, funny, and/or cute; probably all three.
	</p>
</section>
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