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		<title>My new DMV ID has arrived! &lt;https://y.st./en/weblog/2017/08-August/03.xhtml&gt;</title>
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		<header>
			<h1>My new <abbr title="Department of Motor Vehicles">DMV</abbr> <abbr title="identification">ID</abbr> has arrived!</h1>
			<p>Day 00880: Thursday, 2017 August 03</p>
		</header>
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		My new <abbr title="Department of Motor Vehicles">DMV</abbr> <abbr title="identification">ID</abbr> has arrived!
		This time though, they sent me a non-instruction-permit <abbr title="identification">ID</abbr> card.
		I wonder if I checked the wrong box on the form.
		It&apos;d explain why the cost was higher than expected.
		It&apos;d also explain what the <abbr title="Department of Motor Vehicles">DMV</abbr> representative thought I was updating.
		I&apos;m certainly not complaining though.
		I no longer have to identify as a driver when I&apos;m not one.
		Being able to identify as a non-driver is almost as nice as being able to identify as non-binary.
	</p>
	<p>
		Additionally, between both my instruction permits, the expiration dates are the same.
		Getting the permit updated wouldn&apos;t extend the time frame I have in which to learn.
		I can still use one of the old two permits (preferably the one with my real name (as opposed to my birth name) on it.
		Honestly ... I&apos;m kind of considering learning to drive.
		It started with some information I received in the mail from the utility company.
		Almost all the electricity they provide is from renewable resources.
		That means if I get an electric car, I can still keep my carbon footprint low.
		That said, I can&apos;t afford a car or insurance right now, so it&apos;s not a top priority for me.
		Eventually though ... if I can get a boyfriend to teach me how to drive, that&apos;d be swell.
	</p>
	<p>
		Back on the topic of being non-binary, the photograph on my <abbr title="identification">ID</abbr> came out awesome.
		I wore my hair down, covering my ears, but not my face.
		Seriously, it makes me look so much less masculine, and I love it.
		It&apos;s not a viable hairstyle for everyday use yet though, as when I wear my hair that way, it keeps falling in my face.
		Once my hair is longer, I should have less trouble with it.
	</p>
	<p>
		I thought more about relationships today, and I think I can and should bend on the vegan home issue.
		I don&apos;t have the strength to go back the the type of home I was in before.
		My veganism was not respected, but that was only one of the many abusive issues there.
		If I had a nonvegan partner that was willing to set aside half the kitchen&apos;s space for vegan-only items and he didn&apos;t simply leave me out of things, I could still thrive.
		That half could even contain stuff he eats himself; surely he can store half his milk and meat products in half the space or less.
		Most people don&apos;t consume purely milk and meat.
		As for leaving me out, I mean that if he cooks dinner for us or something, he doesn&apos;t give me the same food, minus the bad parts.
		If he&apos;s giving me half a dinner and himself a full dinner, he doesn&apos;t truly love me and I need to get out of there.
		If he eats vegan when with me or provides substitutes for me, I can handle that, I think.
		Of course, maybe he never cooks dinner, either.
		If I&apos;m always the one cooking dinner, this won&apos;t even be an issue, assuming he&apos;s fine with vegan meals he doesn&apos;t have to prepare or even come up with.
		I&apos;m not the type of person to force my beliefs on others; I just need to be respected in my own home.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="mental">
	<h2>Mental health watch</h2>
	<p>
		I was wrong yesterday.
		I still feel whole and complete, but I started yearning for sex again.
		It seems that desire isn&apos;t coming from a feeling of incompleteness, but comes from somewhere else in my being.
		Maybe it comes in waves or something, I don&apos;t know.
		I&apos;m still getting used to this whole being-a-sexual-being thing.
		For the record, I still don&apos;t like it.
	</p>
	<p>
		While my desire or lack of desire seems to vary, I expect my general mood to remain stable.
		I&apos;ll continue monitoring it over the next while to be sure.
	</p>
	<p>
		I thought I was leaning more to the feminine side than usual lately, due to the fact that I&apos;m kind of losing my connection to the name Xander.
		It an okay name, but I don&apos;t really feel like it suits me well.
		I still love the name Lexi though, so that&apos;s been making me feel girly.
		I noticed today though that I&apos;ve actually liked the name Lex for the past while.
		That name&apos;s masculine, so I guess I still do have both a masculine and feminine nickname I enjoy after all.
	</p>
	<p>
		I&apos;m questioning things again though.
		Another thing I thought about was the fact that I&apos;ve only recently (within the past three years) started wearing shorts.
		I wasn&apos;t comfortable exposing my legs before that.
		Was that because my legs look too manly?
		Do I have more bodily dysphoria than I realised?
		No, it was something else that I&apos;d forgotten about.
		The sunlight used to make my skin crawl back before I went vegan.
		I swear, I have some sort of milk allergy, so getting milk out of my system did wonders for me in several ways.
		It&apos;s true too that I want a more-feminine body shape, but I think I don&apos;t want to have female sex organs.
		The idea of sex involving both me and a girl, even if <strong>*I&apos;m*</strong> the girl, feels wrong to me.
		Because of the hodgepodge in my brain, the body I want is mixed; like me, my preferred body wouldn&apos;t fit the binary options.
	</p>
</section>
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