% My experience going through Gender Reassignment Surgery % Leah Rowe % 2018-09-29
This is a continuation of my previous article, regarding my transition. If you haven't read the previous article, it's here.
I have to talk first about the years leading up to my surgery, but I won't go into a lot of depth since most of it is covered in the previous article. I will simply talk about my first efforts to get surgery.
During the latter half of 2016, mere months after I'd come out as trans, I spend a great deal of time reading about the various techniques used by surgeons, for constructing a neovagina. I learned about labiaplasty, clitoroplasty and labiaplasty. Almost all surgeons did vaginoplasty as a matter of course, but not all of them did the other two types of surgery. Some surgeons also offered labiaplasty/clitoroplasty without the construction of a vagina (just a simple urethra, but no hole, as it were); so-called nullification surgery.
I obviously wanted the full whack. However, I quickly discovered that almost all surgeons use the penile inversion technique which generally does not produce good results. Most trans people who get this type of surgery have inferior vaginal depth (usually two to three inches or less - very rarely four or five inches), dryness, loss of sensation, inability to orgasm or ejaculate and a whole host of other issues. Not everyone would experience all of these issues, but everyone would experience a few of them. Furthermore, the genitalia constructed by most surgeons did not even look real! For instance, the labia would be in the wrong place, the proportions would be all wrong, and it would basically look like alien genitalia (no offense to people who used bad surgeons, but this is how I think of most surgeons).
The real dealbreaker was this: with the penile inversion technique, it is mandatory to have genital hair removal (laser). Not only is this painful, but also expensive and not even guaranteed to remove all hairs. Hairs could grow back. If hair did grow back, or surgery is performed without hair removal at all, hair would grow inside the vagina, which would be painful and virtually impossible to treat.
For this reason, I decided at that point not to have surgery, because although I was suffering extreme genital dysphoria at the time (looking at my penis made me depressed, and sometimes erections would make me want to cry), I considered most surgeons as incompetent. I concluded that surgery would be tantamount to mutilation.
This is not to say that I didn't want surgery: I'd wanted a vagina for as long as I could remember at that point. However, I wanted a vagina, and there's a big difference between that and the abomination you get from most (read: almost all) surgeons.
Naturally, this upset me a lot, so I continued searching to see if I could find something better. I found 3 surgeons that offered promise: one in Thailand, one in Portugal and one in Brazil. The latter two do not need mention here. The one in Thailand, Dr. Suporn of the Suporn Plastic Surgery Clinic, caught my attention. I digged further, and liked what I found.
Suporn uses his own proprietary technique, which he does not publish. He does not use penile inversion at all. His method guarantees at least 5 inches of depth (my vagina is 7 inches!), full sensation (I can feel everything, and I can get erect! I can pleasure myself, even!), ability to orgasm (not guaranteed, but I have experimented: I can masturbate quite successfully ;) ), ejaculate (ditto), the ability to self-lubricate (the same as any cis woman, which means that you still have use lubricants, like most cis women), and so on. His vaginas look real and function properly. Not only that, but for much less money than other surgeons, he would perform all there surgeries (labiaplasty, clitoroplasty and vaginoplasty) in one! His aftercare is also excellent, better than any other surgeon.
You still need to dilate (more on this later in the article), but besides that, Suporn is the best. When I discovered this surgeon, I changed my mind and decided that sugrery was worth it afterall!
Of course, I was depressed at the time and didn't ever dream of having the money to pay for it, so I left it for a few months. I'd sit and cry sometimes, but life went on as normal for a while.
I could have requested surgery on the British National Health Service. The UK has several surgeons that provide the surgery for free (paid by the tax payer). However, these were the usual penile inversion surgeons, which I didn't want to use.
After a few months in limbo, I eventually decided that money wasn't a problem. Even if it meant going bankrupt, getting into debt and losing everything, at least I'd have a vagina. These were dark times. I was in a world of debt and I had countless stresses in my life.
For a while, I became happier (only a short while); I met someone I liked, who I very quickly fell in love with. She lived in Portugal at the time, but I spoke with her regularly online, and I visited her twice. On the 2nd visit, she decided to leave Portugal (she didn't have a good life there) and come to live with me in the UK. I was lonely, so of course I allowed her to do so. We were partners, afterall.
Tune in next week :)
I have other things to do today (today is Saturday): draw a picture of Usagi (from Sailor Moon) one of luna (the cat from sailor moon). It's going in a birthday card, which I want to send to a friend. I haven't done any artwork in years, but I'm very good at it :)
UPDATE: Here is Usagi:\ Click here to see Usagi