#+SETUPFILE: ../../../template/level-2.org
#+TITLE: lokasenna
#+DATE: <2006-12-01 Fri>
#+AUTHOR: vaeringjar
#+EMAIL: vaeringjar@land
#+DESCRIPTION: 
#+KEYWORDS: edda

Loki's Quarrel, Lokasenna

Baldr was dead. After sending off his body, Thor went off into the
east to fend off a wave of Jotnar that had their eyes and stomachs
aching for Midgard. He still hurt and it showed. The pain was crushing
him from the inside, changing him. He'll take out his rage on the
giants, but it won't solve the real problem.

Baldr. The first mark of Ragnaršk. It's happening after all my hard
work. But I've changed things. The Všluspa will not happen, at least
not the way the wand carrier, Heidi, foretold. The chances are still
grim. I can feel Fenrir and Garm scraping their claws into the ground.

But all is not lost and we have not lost our sense of hope, nor have
we lost our desire for recreation. Ran and Gymir have invited us to
their hall to feast. The rest of the Aesir are oblivious--or
pretending it--to the impounding doom, though they all still feel the
aching of the death of a God. Frigg has not lost her mind. She always
surprises me with her control and wisdom. And even though I have,
myself, a wounded heart, she is still helping me to keep myself
together.

With us some of the Gods and Alfs have come, namely Sif, Bragi, Tyr,
Skadi, Njord, Freyr, Freyja, and Vidar, Beyla the elf and her husband
Byggvir, as well as Fimafeng and Eldir. Loki was not invited,
purposefully. The consensus among the rest of the Aesir was that he
was responsible for both the death of Baldr and the failure to raise
him from hell.

We all arrived and were beginning our joyous meal. But Loki would not
miss a party. He entered the hall and a wave of silence swept across
the lot of us. "My, I am thirsty. What a long journey it has been for
me, Loki. Send me a beer, and ale, a precious mead. Give me your best
honeyed cup. Everyone, drink with me."

But no one moved, nor did they speak. Only our eyes tracked Loki as he
approached the empty chair near Frigg, Vidar, and myself. The seat was
for Baldr. Loki looked at me, but spoke aloud to my son behind
him. "Vidar, has your silence washed away the music from everyones'
hearts? Why so quiet, my brothers and sisters? And where should I sit?
Ah, here is a place. Good Baldr, I would thank him for this wonderful
place at the table. I'll send word to my daughter to let him know, the
next chance I get."

"We will not have you, Loki!" Bragi was the first to protest. His true
power came only in words. "Your seat was not made. That one belongs to
Baldr, and Baldr only."

Loki turned toward Bragi and sighed. He picked up the nearest cup,
even though it was not his, and drank the contents in one tilt of his
head. He stared at Bragi with a quiet, but obvious hatred, and asked
me with ice on his tongue, "Odin, do you remember in those days long
ago when we became blood kin? You said never would you drink unless it
was brought to us both."

"My good son, Vidar, please show some respect and give your blood
uncle a seat. We must all be courteous guests of our good friend and
host, Gymir."

Vidar, stood up for Loki and poured him a drink. He had as of yet said
nothing about the death of his brother, but his eyes gave him away. He
said nothing and looked at nothing. Very deliberately, he walked
softly away in his heavy war boots.

"Thank you Vidar. A good nephew you've grown into." Loki cleared his
throat and looked all around at the gathering. "Hail! All hail the
Aesir, especially the beautiful Asynior, and all of the sacred
gods. May the memory of Baldr survive in all of us. Except for Bragi,
you twisted troll! I'll teach you to hold your words. Poor Gymir, he
always puts up with so much. Stop writing poems and go do some real
work."

"Loki, I am sorry. But if not in my apologetic words, then in gold I
will pay you if you just do no further deeds against the people here
tonight."

"Bragi, I don't need your 'sorries' or your garbage metal. You're such
a coward, you'd pay off anyone rather than stand up in a fight."

Bragi stood and drew his silver pen from his belt pocket. "If words do
not amuse you," and he pulled out his dagger and laid it by his plate,
"then I have a better idea. If you would like to take this matter out
to the courtyard I swear your head would be rolling off your
shoulders."

"Brave Bragi, everyone knows that what comes from your mouth is
already poisoned by your clever trickery. But beyond your place at
this table I think you'd run away before the first sign of
danger. Well, maybe the second sign..."

"If anyone here is indulging in clever trickery, it's..."

Idunn, put a gentle hand on her husband's shoulder. "Bragi, please,
for the hall, our host Gymir, stop blaming Loki before the fact."

Sarcastically, Loki thanked Idunn, but then turned to the point. "Shut
your mouth, traitor. The last thing I need is the help from someone
who marries the killer of her own brother."

"I was only trying to quiet Bragi, who was made more than talkative
from the drink. But as I can see, you too are troubled from
overindulgence. Please, I don't want any fighting."

None of this would stop Loki. He was adamant about causing hurt and
attacking us for things that needed to be done. I should have seen
this. We all knew that Loki's son would lead the true terror of
Ragnaršk, even though I knew much more. And it had already happened
that my own son should die to signal the beginning of the end. My son
killed by my son, his brother. Hšd has hurt me. Did Loki understand
this, that I shared his grief and shame? Our sons would play a part in
the end of the world. Or was he upset for some other reason?

"Gefjon! Whore! You seduced the young prince of Sweden, and his
father, to take land to form your own realm. Is that where the honor
of the Valkyries lies? Choosers of the bed laid?"

"I am older and stronger than most of the company in this hall! And if
I choose not to slay, but to lie with my enemies to gain my victories,
then so be it! I have killed more than you will ever be responsible
for, Loki. The world could do with some other methods of defeating an
enemy."

Loki laughed uncontrollably, "Well then, haha, maybe you'd like me to
remind you of your possible battle strategies."

Madness. Loki has gone insane for reasons I cannot understand as of
yet, and I know too much. But sometimes the simplest and least likely
explanations are fact. "All that we have seen together, brother, has
taken its tole on both of us. You have lost yourself, friend. I am
beginning to see your end if you do not come back to us. Gefjon would
not go easily when she attacks you, and even I fear her knowledge of
the fates of men, though I know just as much."

"You have changed the fates many times, One-eye. Where is your honor
when you turn the battle against those who deserved what their power
should have delivered them?"

To think up the answers to my blood brother's quarrels on the spot
without using my magic was costing me. Also, the feeling of betrayal
was tearing out my heart. My old friend was losing himself and if he
did not stop with words, I would cast the same spell I used on
Vafthrudnir. But for the moment there was no danger, only my own
weakness for holding back. "I honor all of those who fight and
die. But I have changed much since I was defending the young walls of
Asgard. As long as I am alive, might shall not be the price for a
victory."

"How ingenious, One-eye. You're saving your warriors in the bank for a
rainy day."

"And you have changed too, brother. Yes, I know now where you came
from. The knowledge of the powerful giant, the well, and the mead has
shown me. But Loki were you not. Loka, the milkmaid, mother of many
children. I know that you have lost them all, but age will claim all
mortals. But I know this isn't why you are acting like this
now. Something else has triggered this. Tell me what you are suffering
from."

"How did you know that? You think me a pervert. But we are all to
blame. You shall see the corruption in your ways, as if the murders
and assassinations of war were not enough. All of you have wronged. I
too have knowledge, like your beloved Alfather. He traveled once among
the Sami as a wizard of seid. That disgusting magic of dirty witches
and drums."

"This is all old business," Frigg said. "We all know that good has
always struggled with doing unkind deeds, if at least to one's
enemy. None of us are perfect, but neither are we evil. Please, Loki,
let us move on from the past."

"I would be quiet, but you are too sorry to leave alone. You sons are
either dead or fiends, and you sleep with your husband's brothers. Did
that happen all at once, for I would pay for the sight of that
Valknut."

"We thought Odin was dead..." Frigg started to shed tears and looked
away from Loki at the empty chair. "If my son were still alive he
would not let you do this."

Loki turned to face me and whispered, "I have myself to thank for
that. It was I who would not agree to the resurrection of your son and
I who turned his brother against him." But I already knew this. It was
part of the plan, and it had to happen.

Freyja also jeered at Loki for his madness. I never really thought she
liked him in the first place. Gymir, our host, had been drinking, but
was doing his best to keep his and Freyr's elves from spearing the
shape-changer. Vidar was lacing his boots tighter and had just
finished his meal as quickly as possible. My son marches on his
stomach. I continued to drink from my cup. The rest of the guests were
shocked and not eating or drinking. They sat nervously in their seats,
not knowing whether they should wait for it to pass, fight, or just
leave. They were scared of Loki, and I could tell they were even more
puzzled with the news of his origins that I had been keeping as it was
not their business.

But Loki wanted to share everything about anyone with
everyone. "Freyja, isn't it true that for all the elves and gods here,
each one has been your lover?"

"That's a lie," Freyja screamed. "You just want to put holes in our
friendships so you can misdirect what you are starting here tonight."

"I've been working on it much longer than tonight, Asynior. Not as
long as you've been secretly in love with your own brother."

"These are harmless actions that happened as children," said Njord.

"Don't think that just because we share a common trait having once
been women, that I will side with you so easily. I won't keep this a
secret: with your own sister you had a son!"

"It was the only way for us to continue our family," Njord said
shamefully. "At the time when Ymir was ruler of the world, master of
the Gap, our numbers had dwindled so that we were on the brink of
extinction."

"Maybe your should have died out."

"Freyr is one of the best alive," affirmed Tyr. "He is good to women
just as much as to men. And, in his affairs, he is monogamous even
more so than you."

"You would not say that if you knew what Skirnir said to Gerd to get
her to marry his master. That poor girl was broken before she ever
laid eyes on him. It's easy to please those who have been reduced to
nothing."

Gymir turned an angry glare at Freyr with the news that his daughter
had been threatened by one of Freyr's messengers. But the wise old
giant just sat there, because he knew that he had been drinking much,
and this was exactly what Loki wanted. He would speak to his daughter
about the matter before jumping at hearsay.

"I have lost my hand," Tyr pointed his handless arm at Loki, "and you
have lost your mind, but neither of us is any easier to please. I
think we may be the worst of the bunch."

"Your wife had a son by me." Loki stopped talking and let the remark
sink in to Tyr. I had no idea that Tyr even had a wife. He was so old,
had been around for so long, that it was not surprising, but I did not
know her, even in all my knowledge. I knew everything, could see all,
hear all, but some things were buried deep within my mind like old
memories. And so it was not surprising, but I needed more to jog my
mind to remember it.

"And you, Freyr, because of your lust, you gave away your magic sword
to Skirnir. What will you fight with, though, when you must face
Surt's forces of Muspell when the ride over Myrkwood? They are all
wielders of magical blades."

And then an unexpected voice spoke out. Byggvir, who was friends of
both the lost Skirnir and of Njord's son, spoke his mind. "None of us
are tarnish free/ shape-changer Loki. But the fact is here/ that we've
all been alive for years upon years. During this long race of life/
hard it is not to have fumbled a few times."

"Alfs, alfs, alfs," Loki said as a series of laughs. "Now your witty
rhyme, thanks to the drink, will be stuck in my head for the rest of
the night. Why don't you shut up until you can put up a fight. Your
words are childish."

Heimdall stood up and started walking around the table. "Odin, he's
drunk. Let me take him outside before he does any further harm." Skadi
threw her chair back behind her and made her way the other way around
the table to Loki. "No let me, I'm stronger than the lot of you." At
the same time, Sif stood up and poured a cup of mead.

Alarmed by Heimdall and Skadi, Loki got out of his chair, holding on
to his drink. But then he smiled and rolled his eyes. "Oh Skadi, I
forgot! You only smile when I play with my balls. Well, it's only
fitting that Heimdall should be walking over here to help."

Sif reached Loki first. "Welcome Loki. Please take this drink and be
at peace. We have nothing against each other."

"Sif, my dear, thank you." Loki took the cup and drank it
quickly. Heimdall and Skadi were just steps away from him with their
hands on their hilts. Loki tilted his head back to drink the new cup
and dropped the other one on the floor. Beyla commented that she could
hear Earth shaking, but no one else was listening but me. Loki slurped
the last in his cup, but no one wanted to attack him while he had his
eyes turned to his drink. Sif pushed the two swords-masters back.

"Sif, that was delicious. The last time you gave me such a sweet cup
of honey was on the night in your bed when I cut off your hair."

"Loki!"

The lightning started immediately and the front gates opened followed
by the doors to the dining room, more lightning, and more
thunder. There stood the Son of Earth, wearing a rain drenched coat
and hood, holding a body in his arms. Wind blew threw the hall. The
candles went out, but the fireplace at the end of the room and the
rhythmic lightning flashes made it so the rest of us could see. But we
could only see the shape oh him standing in the door, walking slowly
toward the table.

"Thor, you've come back from fighting off the giants!" Loki knew Thor
was upset, but he sounded like he was excited to see him back. "And
you've brought something for dinner. Is it a deer?"

Thor laid Fimafeng on the table. The elf was one of Thor's friends as
a child. I could tell in the dark that he was crying under his hood,
but no one else could see it. But there was something else on his mind
that had been rotting away far longer.

"You and my wife were together."

"Fimafeng!" Gymir finally took action. He ran to his friend, the elf,
and held the cold body. I think Gymir thought of Fimafeng almost as a
son.

Loki took a deep breath and put on a serious and concerned face. "My
dear boy, Thor, it's not like it's any different from the rest of the
behaviors of the rest of the Aesir. Everyone seems to be sleeping with
everyone else these days."

"Well, there aren't many of us left even in Midgard," said Gefjon.

"In fact, I've been trying to address this sensitivity of the problem
all night, but no one seems to be in a good mood for talking about
it." At this point Loki was laughing uncontrollably without end. All
of his words were mixed with cackling, though he was clear and
understandable.

"But you lied to me! Not only that, but you tortured her by cutting
off her hair. I understand it all now. How could I have been so
dense?"

"Thor come on," teased Loki. "You literally have a rock in your
head. That counts as being pretty dense to me."

Thor was not impressed nor was I. This was not the plan. Loki, like
all of us had his part to play, but tonight was going to be the end of
us. "Thor, take him out of here."

"Thor, please..." Loki was backing away from the giant slayer, towards
a window that had opened with one of the gusts of wind. "If I hadn't
cut off Sif's hair, you never would have got all the fun toys I
brought back. Where would we be without Mjollnir? No harm
done. Everyone's having a great night; it's just too much beer."

"Nanna and Baldr and Fimafeng are dead, Loki."

"Oh, to where the trolls will take you all! Gymir, this has by far
been the worst party ever. I had more fun even at Skrymir's Utgard
castle. I mean, there was a court. This place is terrible. Look how
you treat your guests. I hope this place goes up in flames."

Loki jumped out the window and was gone. Thor reached for his hammer,
but I told him that was enough. Hugin and Munin were already following
him. Gymir had got ahold of himself. Skadi, Heimdall, and Gefjon
looked ready to go to war. But Thor had shut off. His recent bad
temper was now a dazed mind.

"Sif, why didn't you tell me?"

She walked up behind him. Thor knelt down on the floor facing the open
window. "I was scared of you," she said, "and I was scared of Loki. It
was only one time. He didn't 'torture' me as you put it. I don't know
why he cut off my hair. I chose him, I don't know why. You're always
gone. I was tired. And I am now. I'm tired of all this fighting."

The night was a disaster. We had lost Baldr and Nanna, and now
Loki. But the end was coming, I could feel it. "Soon, we won't have to
fight anymore."
