gemini-antenna/signoffs.py

#!/usr/bin/env python3
# vim: tabstop=4 shiftwidth=4 expandtab

import random

def getsig():
    epilogues = [
    "That's all for now, folks.",
    "Thank your friendly geminaut neighbour.",
    "Honour to you and your house!",
    "No camels were harmed when generating this page.",
    "'Be like water.' -- Bruce Lee",
    "Have you written a gemlog post today?",
    "If a warp reactor explodes and there's no one there to survive it, is still Spock?",
    "If I had a penny for every link here I'd have... coins!",
    "Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!",
    "Zen take a nap. Zen fire ze missiles!",
    "🚀️ FWOOOOOOOSH!",
    "Will it blend?",
    "You're not paranoid if they're really after you.",
    "Take me to your leader!",
    "Hail Hydra!",
    "I love the smell of gemtext in the morning. It smells like... UTF-8.",
    "You're as beautiful as the first time you visited.",
    "Have you noticed that the Antenna page is a gemsub feed? Neat, right?",
    "Don't worry. You'll be alright.",
    "Is it a bird? Is it plane? No, it's...",
    "Did you watch the game last night?",
    "Heeere, kitty, kitty, kitty...",
    "IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!",
    "Never underestimate the power of coffee.",
    "The pen is mightier than the sword, but a big ol' mechanical keyboard is hard to beat.",
    "Take a step towards realizing your dream today.",
    "Beep boop. Pling plong.",
    "ERROR: Everything is fine. Seriously. Totally okay.",
    "Geminispace is bigger than you thought, isn't it?",
    "If these words could talk!",
    "I'm really glad you popped by ❤️",
    "Which of the above posts made you happier?",
    "Remember to water your plant!",
    "Powered by tea and chocolate.",
    "Making a list of random strings to add here was the most fun part of writing Antenna.",
    "Where's my sonic screwdriver?",
    "Soon may the Wellerman come!",
    "Please like and subscribe!",
    "Don't postpone something you can avoid entirely.",
    "Use the Vorpal sword to kill the Jabberwocky!",
    "What about second breakfast?",
    "Never attribute to malice that which is obviously caused by a crappy shell script and a forgotten cron job.",
    "I'm pretty sure nobody reads this.",
    "Life was a box of chocolate. I ate it.",
    "A rose by any other name is still not as hardy as a dandelion.",
    "I salute you, friend!",
    "The Tea-Rex is my favourite dinosaur.",
    "I feel like dancing!",
    "Frankie say relax.",
    "It's okay to feed me after midnight.",
    "So many single points of failure...",
    "A priest, a rabbi, and an imam went to an internet café. They all read smolZINE and said \"This is awesome!\".",
    "Hasta la vista, baby.",
    "Antenna is independent from political parties. And gravity.",
    "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck then it's a really good imitation.",
    "This weather, aye?",
    "There is no spoon.",
    "What's the carbon footprint of the first Death Star?",
    "Forged in the fires of Mount Doom!",
    "A right by the Moon, a left at Saturn, then a right again by the first black hole.",
    "No added sugar!",
    "Your sunshine on a rainy day.",
    "Off with her head!",
    "The hills are alive with a sound of EDM, or as I like to call it: music.",
    "It was like that when I got here.",
    "Are we saving the world AGAIN?",
    "Daleks, Uruk-Hais, Stormtroopers, Borg. Who'd win?",
    "Sent from my NASA Mars Rover.",
    "Check out #gemini on irc.tilde.chat",
    "I am invincible!",
    "The Infantile Vampire Paradox: centuries old vampires going through coming-of-age drama.",
    "DEBUG: This string was inserted here.",
    "It's always Friday somewhere in the galaxy.",
    "A short time ago in a house very very near you...",
    "They floated in the sky just like bricks never do.",
    "Romeo, Romeo. Why art though, dude?",
    "Are werewolves on other planets still affected by our moon's cycle?",
    "Was it good for you too?",
    "BANZAIIII!",
    "Badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom MUSHROOM!",
    "Welcome to the Hunger Games!",
    "Load up the gemlog cannon. Prepare to post!",
    "On a long enough time scale the web will eventually die.",
    "Beware of the velociraptors.",
    "EXTREMITIES!",
    ":q!",
    "Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping.",
    "I ♊ U",
    "Hey, Geminispace! Where are all the cats!?",
    "I aim to misbehave.",
    "Heads or tails?",
    "He shoots! He scoooooores!!",
    "Bacon is good for me!",
    "Apple pie is everybody's second favourite pie.",
    "GOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOORNING GEMINIIIII!",
    "GAME OVER, MAN!",
    "Beam me up, Scotty.",
    "Running diagnostics.",
    "Keep your luggage secured in the overhead compartment or in front of your legs.",
    "Run, Forrest! Run!",
    "Loading...",
    "Puny god.",
    "What star sign are you? Gemini?",
    "Wow! You look great!",
    "Shaken, not stirred.",
    "We're not in Kansas anymore.",
    "Geminaut, noun: a person visiting geminispace. Plural: geminauts; collective: a crew of.",
    "Limited Edition!",
    "You know what else has layers? Cakes!",
    "Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down.",
    "Nobody puts baby in a corner.",
    "I just lost the game.",
    "Waaaaaasssssuuuuup!",
    "Version 8 coming soon!",
    "They killed Kenny!",
    "Do NOT microwave your dog!",
    "(V)(;,,;)(V) WOOB WOOB WOOB",
    "'64 trilobites is enough for everyone' -- Charles Darwin",
    "It ain't over 'til it's over.",
    "Buffer overflow!",
    "Who let the logs out!?",
    "Yo, dog! Who put Antenna in Antenna? 😂",
    "It's never too late to give up.",
    "Don't forget the cover sheet on the TPS report.",
    "PC LOAD LETTER",
    "We'll soon have flying cars.",
    "Escape From New York took place in 1997.",
    "Parental Advisory: Exquisite Content",
    "The best things in life are free (as in beer).",
    "How could Curiosity kill the cat? There are no cats on Mars.",
    "Backup your data!",
    "Don't be Evil inc.",
    "No paine, no grain.",
    "When the going gets tough, I rest for a bit.",
    "You actually catch more flies with vinegar.",
    "The cloud is not someone else's computer. It's actually water vapour.",
    "If you want something done right, you have to micromanage.",
    "The enemy of my enemy is my frenemy?",
    "There's no place like $HOME",
    "If time is money, is a financial transaction time travel?",
    "Two heads are better than one. Ask Zaphod Beeblebrox.",
    "Donate to charity!",
    "Support your favourite FOSS projects ❤️",
    "Winter is coming.",
    "Hold the door! Hold the door!",
    "Scream and shout, and let it all out.",
    "Are we there yet?",
    ]

    return epilogues[random.randint(0,len(epilogues)-1)]