---
layout: post
title: "My ten cents for ugly capitalism"
date: 2020-11-29 12:30:00
categories: misc
---

I haven't been writing this log in a while, so i'm not exactly happy to resume
with announce of another compromise i'm making. But that's how it's gonna be,
'cause i am already late to tell my imaginary readers about this.

<cut/>

So here it is: in order to get funding for my art i'm willing to give 10-15% of
that to a company supporting things i have been standing against all this time —
and i still am — copyright, "streaming" (i'm yet to write separate post on that,
but in short, it's that lie that streaming and downloading are two conceptually
different things). I've tried to do the right thing, to only use libre open
platforms, but this haven't been going far — neither in popularity, nor in
money, so it's official: my music is now being published on
[bandcamp](https://caryoscelus.bandcamp.com) and i'll try to get fans there and
make money. Of course, i would prefer direct crypto donations, but i can't be
fighting every fight there is and keep my life (which is an important point —
because if i have to sacrifice my life for the cause, it kinda defeats the
purpose). People do use this big ugly capitalist (i'll leave the judgment of
whether capitalism can be not ugly for separate discussion) platforms and
there's not gonna be a significant change without reaching enough people.

Back in spring i had this argument about the dilemma of reaching out using
"dirty" methods vs keeping true to principals, however small the
audience. Though i argued on the second side, it is widely known that i was
always making some compromises (the question of whether it's even possible not
to i'll leave hanging), sliding in one direction or another. But the more
interesting point about that argument is the question of what i really care
about. Can i really care about judgment of people who wouldn't care enough to
understand my motives? For a long time i did, because i was one of them. I
didn't want to be misunderstood by people like me.

And i still don't. But in a maze of hundreds and thousands of "wants" and
"don'ts" there is no chance to avoid choosing some of them over others. So be it
and let the future make its judgment.