


            ____            _____   _  __ _       ______ __     __
           |  _ \    /\    |  __ \ | |/ /| |     |  ____|\ \   / /
           | |_) |  /  \   | |__) || ' / | |     | |__    \ \_/ /
           |  _ <  / /\ \  |  _  / |  <  | |     |  __|    \   /
           | |_) |/ ____ \ | | \ \ | . \ | |____ | |____    | |   _
           |____//_/    \_\|_|  \_\|_|\_\|______||______|   |_|  | )
                                                                 |/
  ___ _  _ _   _ _____   _   _ ___     _   _  _ ___
 / __| || | | | |_   _| | | | | _ \   /_\ | \| |   \
 \__ \ __ | |_| | | |   | |_| |  _/  / _ \| .` | |) |
 |___/_||_|\___/  |_|    \___/|_|   /_/ \_\_|\_|___/

                            _  _   __  __   _    ___   _   ___ ___  ___ _  _
                         _ | |/_\ |  \/  | (_)  / __| /_\ |_ _|   \| __| \| |
                        | || / _ \| |\/| |  _  | (_ |/ _ \ | || |) | _|| .` |
                         \__/_/ \_\_|  |_| (_)  \___/_/ \_\___|___/|___|_|\_|


    C H A P T E R   1   O F   T H E   H O O P Z   B A R K L E Y   S A G A
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

    BARKLEY, SHUT UP AND JAM: GAIDEN, CHAPTER 1 OF THE HOOPZ BARKLEY SAGA
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

                               FAQ/Walkthrough
                      Copyright (c)2008-2013 DomZ Ninja

==============================================================================

 Author: DomZ Ninja
 E-mail: domzninja[at]hotmail[dot]com
 Updated: 03/26/13
 Version: 1.0

 NOTE: This guide does contain spoilers!


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

                              TABLE OF CONTENTS

==============================================================================

See that series of numbers to the right of each section? If you want to find
a specific section in the FAQ, press CTRL + F to open a search box. Type in
the series of numbers for the desired section that you're trying to find and
press Enter. Whabam! The search function will take you there in an instant.


 [1] VERSION HISTORY.................................................. [0100]
 [2] CONTROLS......................................................... [0200]
 [3] CHARACTERS....................................................... [0300]
 [4] WALKTHROUGH...................................................... [0400]

      Barkley's Apartment............................................. [0401]
      Neo New York.................................................... [0402]
      B-Ball Catacombs................................................ [0403]
      Neo New York Sewers............................................. [0404]
      Cesspool X...................................................... [0405]
      Neo New York.................................................... [0406]
      Neo New York Sewers............................................. [0407]
      Proto Neo New York.............................................. [0408]
      Spalding Factory................................................ [0409]
      Proto Neo New York.............................................. [0410]
      Underground Railroad............................................ [0411]
      Liberty Island Ferry............................................ [0412]
      Liberty Island.................................................. [0413]
      Barren Outskirts................................................ [0414]
      Cuchulainn's Tomb............................................... [0415]
      Barren Outskirts................................................ [0416]
      Necron 5........................................................ [0417]

 [5] SIDEQUESTS....................................................... [0500]

      Dikembe Mutombo's Tomb.......................................... [0501]
      Chup Mines...................................................... [0502]
      Ghastly Darklord................................................ [0503]
      B-Ball Dimension................................................ [0504]
      Deathtemple..................................................... [0505]

 [6] BOSSES........................................................... [0600]
 [7] EQUIPMENT........................................................ [0700]

      Weapons......................................................... [0701]
      Armor........................................................... [0702]
      Bling........................................................... [0703]

 [8] ITEMS............................................................ [0800]
 [9] THANKS/CREDITS................................................... [0900]


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

[1] VERSION HISTORY                                                     [0100]

==============================================================================

FAQ/Walkthrough #25
-------------------

 Version 1.0 (02/14/08) - FAQ/Walkthrough complete and submitted.


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

[2] CONTROLS                                                            [0200]

==============================================================================

.-----------------------------.----------------------------------------------.
|  Arrow Keys                 |  Move                                        |
|-----------------------------|----------------------------------------------|
|  Z                          |  Interact                                    |
|-----------------------------|----------------------------------------------|
|  X                          |  Cancel, Run (Hold)                          |
|-----------------------------|----------------------------------------------|
|  C                          |  Open Menu                                   |
'-----------------------------'----------------------------------------------'

Phew! I think you should be able to handle those controls.


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

[3] CHARACTERS                                                          [0300]

==============================================================================

==============================================================================
 CHARLES BARKLEY
==============================================================================

One of the few surviving b-ballers from The Great B-Ball Purge, Charles
Barkley has been living a life of solitude ever since the tragic event in
2041. Now that basketball is forbidden, Barkley has been very depressed and
confused as ever. What lies in his future?


--- SPELLS -------------------------------------------------------------------

 Doubleteam - Barkley's default ability can hit multiple times on one target.
              Costs 10 BP to use.

 Showboat Jam - This spell not only damaged a single enemy, but you will also
                gain a boost in a random attribute. Costs 20 BP to use.
                Learned at Level 2.

 Vampslam - Barkley will leap in the air and slam down on a foe, sapping their
            VP as he gains some back. Costs 10 BP to use. Learned at Level 4.

 Holy Jam - This very powerful spell is only acquired after beating Dikembe
            Mutumbo in his secret tomb. Costs 35 BP to use.

 Ghost Muscle - This ability can be used to raise Barkley's BRAIN and POWER.
                It's learned after defeating Ghost Dad. Costs 5 BP to use.


==============================================================================
 BALTHIOS
==============================================================================

Balthios is the octaroon great grandson of Lebron James. He is a very wise,
old man and one of the last zaubermancers. Balthios is a friend of Barkley and
Hoopz, but never likes to talk about himself. Not much is really known about
Balthios.


--- SPELLS -------------------------------------------------------------------

 Fire Zauber - When used, this default ability will lower a single enemy's
               POWER for a short peroid of time. Costs 5 BP to use.

 Ice Zauber - The powerful ability will deal great damage to a solo enemy.
              Costs 20 BP to use.

 Water Zauber - Use this spell to inflict Glaucoma and Diabetes on a group of
                enemies. Costs 10 BP to use. Learned at Level 3.

 Wind Zauber - Attacks a group of foes with wind, then ends the attack with a
               powerful slash. Costs 25 BP to use. Learned at Level 3.

 Thunder Zauber - This multiple-hit attack will damage one enemy. Costs 25 BP
                  to use. Learned at Level 4.

 Muscle Zauber - This spell can lower several stats of one enemy. Costs 20 BP
                 to use. Learned at Level 5.

 Snail Zauber - Learned when acquiring the Snail Zauber, the attack greatly
                decreases the SPEED of an enemy. Costs 10 BP to use.


==============================================================================
 CYBERDWARF
==============================================================================

Cyberdwarf was once a normal dwarf from a faraway planet. As he was circling
earth's atmosphere, his ship crashed onto the planet, resulting in a near-
death experience. As a result, Cyberdwarf's skin is now of the same material
used to make b-balls! He is a wise soul who was friends with Lebron James.


--- SPELLS -------------------------------------------------------------------

 Insulin Shot - The default ability heals one party member and also cures them
                of Diabetes. Costs 5 BP to use.

 Dwarven Touch - Cyberdwarf will heal one's VP by half and randomly increases
                 one of their stats. Costs 10 BP to use.

 Dwarf Knowledge - This spell will fully heal a party member's VP and cures
                   them of all status effects. Costs 15 BP to use.

 Glaucoma Prayer - Heals the entire party of Glaucoma. Costs 5 BP to use.
                   Learned at Level 5.

 Dwarf Caress - It will replenish the entire party's VP by 66%. Costs 20 BP to
                use. Learned at Level 6.

 Chaff Grenade - Inspect Jenkins' corpse on Liberty Island to get his spell.
                 It will not only deal damage to an enemy, but it also lowers
                 their GUARD. Costs 10 BP to use.


==============================================================================
 HOOPZ BARKLEY
==============================================================================

Hoopz is Charles Barkley's son and an aspiring b-ball player. That's a tough
thing to handle considering how it is banned worldwide, but Hoopz still
practices day in and day out. He is basically your stereotypical loving and
obedient son who has many goals for the future.


--- SPELLS -------------------------------------------------------------------

 Gun's Slay - Hoopz's default attack can deal a moderate amount of damage to
              one target. Costs 10 BP to use.

 Bulletdance - The second default attack has the ability to attack multiple
               enemies at once. Costs 10 BP to use.

 Status Shot - This default spell will inflict Diabetes on one enemy. Costs 10
               BP to use.

 TrickGun Assault - A much more powerful attack that can deal loads of damage
                    on a solo target. Costs 30 BP to use. Learned at Level 6.


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

[4] WALKTHROUGH                                                         [0400]

==============================================================================

You will start off with the opening cinema. Charles Barkley reminisces of the
events in 2041. He and Balthios talk about how bleak the future is for Neo New
York while Hoopz practices his b-ball skills. Balthios leaves just as Michael
Jordan enters Barkley's apartment. Jordan and Barkley scuffle, and he leaves.


==============================================================================
 BARKLEY'S APARTMENT                                                    [0401]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: Ecto Cooler

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You will take control of Charles Barkley as he sets out to get some medicine.
However, stick inside his apartment for a bit. Walk into the kitchen and
inspect the oven for an Ecto Cooler. Go south to reach the foyer. Descend the
stairs and talk to Gus to learn more about Michael Jordan.

He now goes by the name "Inspector Jordan". After b-ball was banned, Jordan
was the first to join the B-ball Removal Department. So he's basically a
filthy cop now. And he used to be such a good role model. Anyways, exit your
apartment to reach the streets of Neo New York.


==============================================================================
 NEO NEW YORK                                                           [0402]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: Ecto Cooler x4, Steroid x3, Tobacco x2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   Talk to the bum wandering around for
 |           - SHOP -            |   pretty hilarious results. Speak to the
 o-------------------------------o   throbbing gas pump to the right of the
 | Volleyball................100 |   apartment to save your game. Go west to
 | Wrist Brace................70 |   the next area and talk to the woman to
 | Jersey.....................55 |   learn more about The Great B-Ball Purge
 | Bapes......................22 |   and why Charles Barkley isn't exactly
 | Sunglasses.................18 |   thrilled to be a part of the city. Enter
 | Backwards Cap..............15 |   the building next to her (press Z next to
 o-------------------------------o   the door) to enter Chin's Store. Talk to
                                     Chin to receive the goods: five Ecto
Coolers, three Steroids, and two Tobaccos. Exit the store and move south past
the soldier. Talk to the punk with the red mohawk if you wish to buy any Ecto
Coolers. The dealer below will sell you Chups for some dough.

However, go south through the parking lot and talk to the Pusher-Man. He has a
lot of stuff in store for you, so you may want to pick up the Jersey and the
Volleyball; both will raise your POWER and GUARD a lot. As for the third
equipment, you can go with anything; I went for the Bapes.

Return to the street near Chin's Store and walk to the left. If you wish to
access a hidden area late in the game, then DO NOT give the little kid near
the chuch a Neo-Shekel. Enter the church and speak to the priest, who just
happens to Larry Bird. LMAO. Converse with Father Bird for a bit, then leave.

Now that you're done with your errands, head back home. Barkley will start to
see things from the past. Return to the apartment and save your game again.
Charles passes out on the couch and just happens to miss an important news
broadcast. Another Chaos Dunk was performed, destroying all of Manhattan.
However, Charles Barkley is the only person who can perform such a move. He is
awaken by the sound of Inspector Jordan and his platoon.

Jordan is ready to arrest you on sight, but Barkley has other plans. The
soldiers will attempt to tazer you, but you'll have to quickly press the key
onscreen to avoid the attack. Get hit twice and you die. Avoid the first two
soldiers to escape the room. Input another two buttons to finally flee the
apartment.

Avoid the group of soldiers outside the same way to move on. Dodge the next
set, then continue down the alley. All of the button inputs are the same, so
if you keep dying, all you need to do is memorize them. Barkley will be
cornered in the alley and is ready to surrender, but a mysterious figure will
aid him in his escape.


==============================================================================
 B-BALL CATACOMBS                                                       [0403]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: Ball Brain, Slam Spectre, Zomballer
   Items: B-Ball, Battlers Tome 1, Bapes, Battlers Tome 2, Battlers Tome 3,
          BBall Shard, BBall Tear x4, Chicken Dew x2, Ecto Cooler x2, Gatorade
          Gum, Jacket, Jersey, Protein Paste x5, Volleyball

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   The mysterious cloaked person turns out
 |      - VENDING MACHINE -      |   to be the Ultimate Hellbane and joins
 o-------------------------------o   your party. I suggest reading the three
 | BBall Tear................220 |   Battler's Tomes to learn the basics of
 | BBall Juice...............125 |   battling and all that junk. Save at the
 | Steroids..................100 |   pump and move east to find your first
 | Tobacco...................100 |   enemy. Battling is turn-based, but you
 | BBall Shard................90 |   must do a lot more than sit back and
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   watch each attack. When in battle, read
 | Protein Paste..............23 |   in the menu how to perform each move.
 | Insulin....................20 |
 | Chup.......................15 |   Once the battle ends, continue to the
 o-------------------------------o   right to reach a fork. Go south and head
                                     through the tunnel all the way to the
Once the battle ends, continue to the right to reach a fork. Go south and
left. Inspect the tombs of Patrick Ewing and Muggsy Bogues as well as THE b-
ball to get a BBall Shard and two BBall Tears. Return to the grating to the
right and walk across. Inspect the globe for yet another Space Jam reference.
Inspect the next two tombs for two more BBall Tears. Move onto the next area.

Ultimate Hellbane suggests that you should watch your steps on the grating.
Make sure to walk (don't run!) across to reach the other side safely. Continue
south down the hall to reach a large pool containing the last memories of more
famous b-ballers. Barkley questions his decision to use the first Chaos Dunk,
but nothing can be changed. Inspect the two wall panels on the north side of
the room for a Jersey and a Volleyball.

Go east to spot a statue of the Ultimate B-Ball. This Healing B-Ball can
well... heal your VP and BP, so do so and continue on. Hellbane stops Barkley
and feels the prescense of a ref. A ref that is trying to escape to the B-Ball
Dimension. However, such a ghastly creature is evil, so get ready to jam!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Dread Ref
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 2

This boss is very easy and doesn't have too much health. Technical Foul can
Foul one of your party members, and Knife Boot Face Gash can deal a lot of
damage. Fortunately, many of the hits have a high chance of missing. You can
use your various skills, but they aren't necessarily needed. Most powerful
physical attacks, such as Barkley's Forward Jumper and Hellbane's Zauber Slash
is enough to put him away after enough hits. Remember that you can use Ecto
Coolers to refill your VP.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Continue through the tunnels after defeating the Dread Ref. If you inspect the
wall panel past the boss battle, you will find five Protein Pastes. Open the
nearby tomb, Kobe Bryant will attack. He isn't too tough, so use physical
attacks to put away the legend.

After Barkley cries about destroying his former friend and b-ball star,
proceed north to reach a pump and a vending machine. Open the wall panel next
to the pump for Bapes. You can purchse some items from the vending machine; go
with some Insulin and Chup. Once done window shopping, save at the pump.

Walk to the left and take the first path leading south. Open the wall panel
for two Chicken Dews and return to the tunnel. If you inspect the wall panel
between the two tunnels, you will find a Jacket. Now take the second path to
find a sliding tile puzzle. Sliding tile puzzles suck, but the solution for
the tile puzzle is:

 Right, Right, Down, Left, Left, Down, Right, Right, Up, Up, Left, Left

Once the puzzle is complete, you will earn a Gatorade Gum. If for some reason
you mess up, just leave and reenter the area to reset the tiles. Go north back
to the main tunnel and move west. Open the wall panel for three Ecto Coolers
and turn back; there is nothing valuable further on. Return to the vending
machine and stock up on any more goods you need (make sure you have some
Tobacco and Ecto Coolers if you're all out) and save again.

Proceed north to the tomb of Lebron James as the Ultimate Hellbane reveals
himself to be Balthios! Lebron's ghost tells Barkley of B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S
and they may be using the Ultimate B-Ball (y' know, the one from Space Jam)
for evil intentions. Before fading away, James tells Barkley to find
Cyberdwarf, whoever (or whatever) that is. After the ghost disappears, another
evil monster comes to crash our party.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: BBall Monster
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 3

The BBall Monster is certainly tougher than the Dread Ref from before. His
attacks are very strong, especially against Baltheos. His Ball Punch can deal
around 95 damage to Baltheos! His Juke Spinner attack can hit several times
between both party members, dealiing around 20 damage a pop. BBall Twister is
another strong attack that deals around 50 damage in one hit.

The key to winning is to guard and lower the BBall Monster's POWER. Use
Baltheos's Flame Zauber has the ability to lower its POWER, so use the attack
when you get a chance. The monster can use Brace Onself, which will raise its
POWER, so definitely use Flame Zauber if it uses the ability. Once it is
weakened, unleash your greatest attacks, such as Ice Zauber and Barkley's
Showboat Jam. Maintain your VP and occasionally guard to lower the chance of
getting pummeled by the BBall Monster. Not too tough of a fight when powerful
attacks can deal 100-200 damage.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Once the battle comes to a close, you will obtain Lebron's sacred B-Ball. It
is revealed that Cyberdwarf is an old friend of Lebron's, so it looks like we
will have to search high and low for this guy. The duo leaves the catacombs.


==============================================================================
 NEO NEW YORK SEWERS                                                    [0404]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: Ball Droid, Ball Spider, Whistle
   Items: Chicken Dew, Ice Zauber

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   First off, make sure to equip the B-Ball
 |      - VENDING MACHINE -      |   to Barkley to significantly increase his
 o-------------------------------o   POWER. Walk forward, opening the chest on
 | Chicken Fry...............699 |   the right for an Ice Zauber. Give it to
 | BBall Tear................220 |   Baltheos immediately and move north to
 | Chicken Dew...............179 |   find a vending machine and a pump. Talk
 | BBall Juice...............125 |   to the odd robot near the pump and it'll
 | Steroids..................100 |   join your party (at Level 3). This is
 | Tobacco...................100 |   Vinceborg 2050, an android recreation of
 | BBall Shard................90 |   Vince Carter. His stats are very good, so
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   you shouldn't have to worry about his
 | Fstone Mvitamin............25 |   equipment or anything.
 | Protein Paste..............23 |
 | Insulin....................20 |   If you need, stock up on Ecto Coolers or
 | Chup.......................15 |   Tobacco. If you wish, you can grab a few
 | Alcohol....................10 |   Alcohols or Fstone Mvitamins. Save at the
 o-------------------------------o   gas pump and move north. You can test out
                                     Vinceborg in battle, and boy, he has some
powerful attacks. His Eye Laser attack is awesome, since you can freely move
between targets when the attack is under way. Defeat the enemies north of the
vending machine and go up the ladder at the end.

Pick up the Chicken Dew up here and climb back down. Return to the fork just
past the vending machine and go east. Climb the next ladder at the end and
continue through the tunnels to eventually reach Cesspool X.


==============================================================================
 CESSPOOL X                                                             [0405]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: Poem, Snail Zauber

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   Talk to the vulture (yeah, you read that
 |           - SHOP -            |   right) to gain access to Cesspool X. Go
 o-------------------------------o   forward to get stopped by a snail. He'll
 | Spiked B-Ball.............475 |   give you a Poem in order to deliver it to
 | Dwarf Warhammer...........411 |   the kitsune. The gang reads it and finds
 | Dwarf Pride...............208 |   out that the poem is absolutely dreadful,
 | Time Zauber...............201 |   so they decide to cut the snail a break
 | Referee Uniform...........175 |   and revamp the whole thing. Of course,
 | Trenchcoat................156 |   you don't have to, but you'll be missing
 | Thunder Zauber............154 |   out on a great item. Save your game
 | Sweatband..................89 |   at the pump north of the fox (don't talk
 | Ace Bandage................75 |   to her yet). After saving, talk to the
 o-------------------------------o   residents of Cesspool X. Some give you
                                     funny responses, like the guy who was
 o-------------------------------o   surgically altered to look just like
 |           - SHOP -            |   Huckleberry Hound and Yogi Bear.
 o-------------------------------o
 | Chicken Fry...............699 |   The inn is next to Yogi Bear, so you can
 | BBall Tear................220 |   pay up 25 Neo-Shekles if you wish to heal
 | Chicken Dew...............179 |   up. The weapon shop is near the kitsune,
 | BBall Juice...............125 |   so go inside and stock up on the goods. I
 | Steroids..................100 |   suggest buying new equipment for Balthios
 | Tobacco...................100 |   and Vinceborg. Pick up a Trenchcoat and
 | BBall Shard................90 |   an Ace Bandage for Baltheos and a Spiked
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   B-Ball for Vinceborg. If you have enough
 | Fstone Mvitamin............25 |   money left, then you can probably stock
 | Protein Paste..............23 |   up Barkley's bling too. Remember that you
 | Insulin....................20 |   should sell all old bling to get more
 | Chup.......................15 |   money back.
 | Alcohol....................10 |
 o-------------------------------o   Alright, now about that poem. Hopefully
                                     you chose to revamp the thing, since you
can get a nice item if you do so. Speak the kitsune, J. Lindsay, to learn
about her interests. After interviewing her, the gang retreats to the inn to
write a halfway-decent poem. Baltheos's suggestions suck, but Vinceborg chimes
in. Robots know nothing about love, so you should probably ditch his ideas. Or
maybe not! Go with Vince's lines:

 "enjoys hunting small prey"
 "does not mind animal feces much"
 "and her friends in Cesspool X"

Deliver the poem to J. Lindsay and she will love it. Score! The couple will
leave and you will receive a Snail Zauber. Hopefully you followed Vince's
advise. If not, then you will still get rewards. If you decide to give J.
Lindsay the poem like it is, you will receive 600 Neo-Shekels. If you decide
to screw it up with Baltheos's sappy lines and make the poem even worse,
you'll only get 400. Still not too shabby.

Alright, now we are ready to find Cyberdwarf. Save once again and enter his
house, which is right next to the pump. Baltheos warns that he isn't the most
attractive of folks, so try not to stare. I mean, his entire body is composed
of b-balls...

Cyberdwarf joins the party after agreeing to help find Hoopz. It's time to
return to Neo New York again, so exit the house. Save your game and proceed
north to the next area. Go to the left at the intersection to reach the city.

 NOTE: There is a secret dungeon inside of Cyberdwarf's house. I recommend
       that you go through the place, since you can get some new items and
       skills. Skip to Section 5.1 if you decide to take a trip there.

If you managed to complete Dikembe Mutumbo's Tomb and got the Femur, then talk
to the dog wandering around (the normal one, not the freaks). It will begin to
talk and trade its Nikes for your Femur. Do so and equip it to a slow
character to boost their SPEED by 14!


==============================================================================
 NEO NEW YORK                                                           [0406]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: None

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Enter the church to the left. Michael Jordan is waiting for you with Hoopz.
Father Larry has been brutally killed, and before the same can happen to
Hoopz, he begins to pray to Clispaeth. Vinceborg freaks out and leaves your
party to destroy "the one", who is apparently Hoopz! Time to fight whomever
stands in our way, even if that happens to be Vinceborg!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Michael Jordan, Vinceborg 2050
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 5

Michael Jordan is fairly weak, so do everything in your power to take him out
first. His Hurricane Shot can deal multiple shots to various party members and
H-H-Head Shot can cut a nice chunk out of one party member's VP. If you have
Holy Dunk, use it on Jordan to deal around 250 damage. Use Baltheos's Thunder
Zauber and Cyberdwarf's physical attacks to take out Jordan in hopefully one
or two rounds. He isn't much of a threat, but get him out of the way first.

Once Michael Jordan is down for the count, it's just you and Vinceborg. Use
Cyberdwarf to restore Barkley and Baltheos's BP and leave those two to the
attacking. Like you know, Vince's Eye Laser attack can really hurt. Refractor
Beam is equally as bad, but luckily those are his only two offensive attacks.
He does have Recharge, which heals around 240 VP. Like always, lower his POWER
with Flame Zauber and commence with the beatdown. This battle isn't exactly
hard, but take note that Vinceborg has a lot of VP.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Jordan flees and is followed by Vinceborg 2050: B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S agent of
death. Yeah, no more Vince Carter. In his dying words, Larry Bird apologizes
to Charles. :( Anyways, the group retreats to Cyberdwarf's house.


==============================================================================
 NEO NEW YORK SEWERS                                                    [0407]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: Ball Droid, Ball Spider, Whistle
   Items: Chicken Dew, Facemask, Turkey Feather

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   The party talks and more info is learned,
 |           - SHOP -            |   like how B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S killed
 o-------------------------------o   Lebron James in order to harness the
 | Spiked B-Ball.............475 |   power of the zaubers. The new mission is
 | Dwarf Warhammer...........411 |   to create a new Ultimate B-Ball to
 | Time Zauber...............201 |   counter the evil corporations, so we are
 | Steroids..................100 |   headed off to the Spalding Factory to
 | BBall Shard................90 |   find some answers.
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |
 o-------------------------------o   Well, Hoopz has joined the party, so it's
                                     best that we rest here in Cesspool X for
 o-------------------------------o   now. Heal at the inn and stock up on some
 |      - VENDING MACINE -       |   bling for the kid. Give him a Referee
 o-------------------------------o   Uniform and an Ace Bandage. Save your
 | Chicken Fry...............699 |   game and when you try to leave to the
 | BBall Tear................220 |   north, one of the townsfolks will give
 | Chicken Dew...............179 |   you a Turkey Feather. Yay, a useless
 | BBall Juice...............125 |   item! Stupid animal people. Exit and go
 | Steroids..................100 |   to the right to reach the next area.
 | Tobacco...................100 |
 | BBall Shard................90 |   Walk east until you reach a small path
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   leading north. Follow it and open the
 | Fstone Mvitamin............25 |   chest at the end for a Facemask. This
 | Protein Paste..............23 |   equipment greatly boosts GUARD, so I gave
 | Insulin....................20 |   it to Hoopz. Walk around the perimeter of
 | Chup.......................15 |   the area. There is a ladder at the botoom
 | Alcohol....................10 |   right corner, but pass it and continue
 o-------------------------------o   down the path. You can find another
                                     ladder at the bottom left corner. Go up
the ladder to find a Chicken Dew and a letter from Dr. Allard. Hmm...
If you want, you can return to the southeast ladder to find an area with a
shop. He has some equipment and items, so you should check it out.

The secret agent dude at the center of the area demands that you fork over
5000 Neo-Shekels to proceed, but that is a little out of hand. Return to the
surface and go west. Enter the doorway and descend the stairs. The punk on the
left is a big fat meanie, and the guy on the right spews random lies (there is
no key and you cannot get into the locked door. So just ignore his ass).
Proceed up the stairs to reach a vending machine and a pump.

There is a man next to the vending machine that asks you to spare him 10 Neo-
Shekels. If you are willing to be a big enough jerk to reach Deathtemple, then
do not give the man any dough.

Save at the pump and pick up any items from the vending machine. Enter the
building to find yourself in what appears to be a waiting room. Talk to the
two suits at the front of the room for a scolding. The party suggests what we
should do. There are three options:

 OPTION 1: Pay the toll. Peh, like we're gonna do that. There are two much
           easier ways to solve our problem here. >_>

 OPTION 2: Bust into his office. You can either attack the toll-keeper guard
           or the two suits in front of Dr. Allard's office. It's your choice,
           but they can be pretty tough foes.

 OPTION 3: Find Rufus. The recommended path. Enter Dr. Allard's office and
           talk to the suit on the left. Ask if he is Rufus, and the suit will
           tell you that he is doing guard duty in one of the tunnels. Leave
           the office and go down the ladder past the save pump. Rufus is down
           here with the guy blabbing about the locked door. He is glad that
           the party is standing up to the doc and tells you his password:
           "when we get the final hardware, the performance is just going to
           skyrocket." Cool! Return to the office and tell the two suits the
           password. Once the party enters, you will have to fight a guard.
           He is cake. However, the doctor will attack afterwards.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Dr Allard
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 6

The doctor has very high GUARD, so dealing loads of damage to him can be hard.
His attacks are very deadly, such as Heart Stab (it can deal around 200-250
damage to one character). Dirty Needles is fairly weak, but can target many
characters at once. Faulty Plague Vaccine is probably Dr. Allard's most lethal
attack. He can hit one party member three times, each dealing around 100
damage. That's not all; with every hit, he will inflict a status effect.

Assign one character to heal non-stop. I don't know why, but my Balthios blew
in this fight, so I assigned him with the healing role. Have Hoopz use
Accurate Shot, because his skills are very weak. Cyberdwarf should use any of
his physical attacks (I'm a fan of Jab) and Barkley can use Forward Jumper. I
suggest spending the first turn or two lowering the doc's POWER and SPEED with
Fire and Snail Zauber, respectively, then let Baltheos heal for the rest of
the fight. It's not very hard, but it may take a little while.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The gang will arrive near the gate to Proto Neo New York after the boss
battle. Head to the gate and walk through where the suit used to be. When you
are ready to enter Proto Neo New York, go down the ladder. As you climb down
several ladders, the final one will break. Like in the beginning of the game,
input the key shown onscreen (it's just Up three times) to survive the fall.
Go through the gate to the city.


==============================================================================
 PROTO NEO NEW YORK                                                     [0408]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: None

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   Hmm, this place looks like a dump. The
 |           - SHOP -            |   party decided to take a long-needed break
 o-------------------------------o   from all the action. It's bonkers!
 | ZX ModelX571X.............343 |   Cyberdwarf tells Hoopz about Clispaeth
 | Battlestech Gun...........287 |   and the Cyberpocalypse, so listen up to
 | Chicken Dew...............179 |   learn some of the backstory. The dwarf is
 | Mithril'braster...........176 |   interrupted by some sort of laughter, and
 | Ultimate Wristband........165 |   a mystery person tells everyone to find
 | BBall Shard................90 |   shelter immediately. Proto Neo New York
 | ZX ZaubertechZ.............78 |   seems to be haunted by Ghost Dad. The
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   mystery person turns out to be Juwanna
 | ZX Zaubertech1.............32 |   Mann! The only way to reach the Spalding
 o-------------------------------o   Building is to defeat the Ghost Dad.
                                     First, enter the house to the right of
where you just were. If you wish to go on a one-way track to Deathtemple, then
refuse to apologize to Wildman. Ooh, I'm so evil. *insert evil laugh*

Exit and move west. Save at the pump and enter the house on the right to find
the inn. If you want to stay and rest, then pay up 30 Neo-Shekels. Go inside
the large building to the left of the pump to find a shop and a gambling hobo.
Ignore the gambler, since he doesn't even have any money to offer if you win.
Talk to the guy near the hobo and he will ask for you to retrieve the
F.I.N.A.L. G.U.N. from the Spalding Building. You will get a nice reward if
you fill your end of the deal.

There is a gun salesman in this house, so check out what he has to offer. Pick
up a ZX ModelX571X for Hoopz and a few Ultimate Wristbands for the rest of the
party. It's pricey, but you should have enough money if you sell your old
equipment. Leave and go over to the bulletin board to the left of the pump.
Take the Ghost Dad hunter mission, save your game, and go talk to Juwanna Mann
again. She will take you to the ghost.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Ghost Dad
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 6

Oh God, the character sprite for Ghost Dad is LOL-worthy. However, he is the
toughest boss you have faced yet. His Fog Breath can lower the entire party's
SPEED in one shot. Spook can deal around 100 damage and inflicts Glaucoma on
the target. Ghostly Curse is even worse, since it inflicts random status
effects on the entire party. Use Dwarf Caress if this attack ever comes up.
Ectoplasm is a straight-up powerful attack, which can deal around 300 damage
to one character. Watch out for Ghost Muscle, which will raise Ghost Dad's
POWER significantly. Use Fire Zauber on Baltheos's next turn and whip out the
Ecto Coolers for this fight.

Even with Hoopz's new weapon, he should stick to the group healer because he
is still very weak. If the entire party is perfectly fine, then have him use
TrickGun Assault. It is a surprisingly powerful attack. Have Cyberdwarf attack
occasionally, but have him use Dwarf Caress and Glaucoma Prayer if the other
party members are hit with status effects. Baltheos should use Fire Zauber and
Muscle Zauber at the start of the battle, then resort to Zauber Slash.

Barkley has a wide range of powerful attacks. Holy Dunk can deal over 300
damage in one shot, but it drains your entire BP bar. So instead of using Holy
Dunk and then refilling all his BP, it may be better to use a handful of
weaker attacks such as Vampslam and Doubleteam. Remember to stock up on some
Ecto Coolers and BBall Shards if you happen to lose the battle. It'll take a
very long time (much longer than the other bosses) and you may die once or
twice, but hang in there and you should eventually win.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Ghost Dad will explode and the fog will lift. After a conversation with
Juwanna Mann, stay at the inn. During your stay, Ghost Dad will contact
Barkley and thank him. Defeating the ghost has freed him from the chains that
bound him in Proto Neo New York, and he can finally rest in peace. Barkley
will learn the Ghost Muscle technique.

Save at the pump and go west to reach the Spalding Watergrounds. Follow the
road and talk to the suit outside of the building. Like the guy in the gun
stor, he will ask you to retrive the F.I.N.A.L. G.U.N. for him. If you do so,
you'll receive 2500 Neo-Shekels. All the better reason to find the weapon!


==============================================================================
 SPALDING FACTORY                                                       [0409]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: Mech Gatorade, Mutant Baller, Slam Phantom
   Items: BBall Juice, Blue Keycard, Dwarfbane, F.I.N.A.L. G.U.N., Green Key,
          Prototype B-Ball, Red Keycard, Time Zauber

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   Barkley will notice a red and blue screen
 |      - VENDING MACINE -       |   at the entrance. Smartypants Hoopz says
 o-------------------------------o   that they will need keycards to use these
 | Chicken Fry...............699 |   computers, which will activate lifts in
 | BBall Tear................220 |   the factory. We don't have any keycards
 | Chicken Dew...............179 |   yet, so save at the pump and go shopping
 | BBall Juice...............125 |   at the vending machine.
 | Steroids..................100 |
 | Tobacco...................100 |   Walk down the hallway and take a left at
 | BBall Shard................90 |   the intersection, then go in the doorway.
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   Barkley suggests that we check every
 | Fstone Mvitamin............25 |   computer for the keys, but that isn't
 | Protein Paste..............23 |   needed. Telling you where to find stuff
 | Insulin....................20 |   is my job! From the start of the room, go
 | Chup.......................15 |   into the second cubicle on the right and
 | Alcohol....................10 |   inspect the trashcan for a Dwarfbane.
 o-------------------------------o   Give it to Dwarfbane and enter the third
                                     cubicle. Again, scroung through the trash
to find some BBall Juice. Talk to the janitor in the hall for a really weird
conversation, then head to the north end of the hall to find a Red Keycard in
the corner. Before the group can leave, we'll catch a glimpse of a strange of
a strange flashback concerning Hoopz. Hm.

Now we can return to the entrance of the factory. Use the Red Keycard on the
computer screen on the left to activate the lift. Go back to the intersection
and go through the red door. Enter the first cubicle and rummage through the
trashcan for a Time Zauber. Talk to Leonard the janitor again and then enter
the next room on the right. Barkley will feel odd in this room and another
flashback will occur. Quickly pass through and to the next cubicle-filled
hallway. Inspect the first cubicle's trash to find the F.I.N.A.L. G.U.N.!

Okay, now we can bring it back to one of the two civilians. You can either
give it to the punk in Proto Neo New York for a Gun's Sticker or you can give
it to the suit. Try and negotiate some more money out of him and he will fight
you. If you manage to win, you will get the money AND the gun. Obviously this
is the way to go. Give the gun to Hoopz after the fight.

Return to where you found the F.I.N.A.L. G.U.N. and proceed down the hall.
Pick up the Blue Keycard and like before, you'll be treated to another
flashback. Well, now we know what happened to Leonard and Bill Cosby. Return
to the entrance of the factory and use the Blue Keycard. Once the lift is
working again, enter the northern door at the fork.

Talk to Leonard to break the news to him that he's... kinda dead. As a result,
the janitor thanks you by giving the party a Green Key. Use it on the green
door in the room. A mystery man will quiz Barkley on b-balls, and after some
crazy metaphor mumbo-jumbo, he will reveal himself as Scott H. Creelman, the
CEO of Spalding. Battle time!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Scott Creelman
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 7

The only attack you should watch out for is Kamikaze Jam, since it can
basically kill someone in one hit (not literally, but it deals around 540
damage). Make sure to use Chicken Dews and Steroids when needed. Otherwise,
his techniques aren't that dangerous. Low Blow is very weak and Illusion Shot
can deal around 65 damage to multiple targets. You should be able to deal a
load of damage with skills such as Vampslam, Thunder Zauber, and TrickGun
Assault.

After losing a lot of health, Scott Creelman will restort to dirty tactics.
Glory of BBall will restore around 550-570 HP and cure the CEO of all status
ailments. He'll also start to use BBall Bash, which can deal around 80 damage
to one target THREE times. Remember, Steroids and Chicken Dew. Have Cyberdwarf
use Dwarf Caress and make sure to deal as much damage as possible with the
rest of the party to take him out before he can heal.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Scott Creelman will give Barkley the Prototype B-Ball before dying. But we
have to recharge it according to the CEO. All of a sudden, Inspector Jordan
will attack Hoopz with Type 2 Diabetes, which is uncurable. The gang returns
to Juwanna Mann's house with Hoopz. She says the only way to possibly save
Hoopz is to contact an old hermit south of Proto Neo New York.


==============================================================================
 PROTO NEO NEW YORK                                                     [0410]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: Ultimate Wristband

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   Head to the save pump and save your game,
 |           - SHOP -            |   then go south to the Sunbaked Parking
 o-------------------------------o   Lot. Go down the road to find the parking
 | Dwarfstear................788 |   lot, where the party will decide where to
 | Mystic B-Ball.............700 |   go next. Cyberdwarf suggests to head
 | Tek-Skeleton..............507 |   through the Underground Railroad.
 | Battlestech Gun...........287 |
 | Referee Uniform...........175 |   Talk to the man nearby and pick up some
 | Goggles...................168 |   new bling and equipment. Grab a Mystic
 | Athletic Supporter........160 |   B-Ball, Dwarfstear, and a Tek-Skeleton.
 | Steroids..................100 |   If you wish, you can buy an Athletic
 | BBall Shard................90 |   Supporter as well. Of course, pick up
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   some Steroids and Ecto Coolers if you are
 o-------------------------------o   almost out.

There is an Ultimate Wristband in the southwest end of the parking lot, so
pick it up as well. There are two ways to reach Liberty Island: through the
Underground Railroad or through the ferry. I will describe both paths in the
next two sections.


==============================================================================
 UNDERGROUND RAILROAD                                                   [0411]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: None

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Underground Railroad is on the north end of the parking lot. Go through
the door, then down the stairs in the corner. Talk to Harriet Tubman down here
and agree to board the train. The party hears a noise in the back car, so they
go check it out. It's the B-Ball Removal Department! You will have to input
the key onscreen several times, but it isn't difficult.

After beating the sergeant, he will activate a bomb. In order to survive,
we'll have to ditch the car by detaching it from the rest of the train. Like
Cyberdwarf suggests, we will have to pull the rightmost lever to save
yourself. As he moves to each lever, tell him that it's the wrong one. Do this
twice until he's standing in front of the lever on the right. Then tell him to
pull it. Cyberdwarf manages to escape and everyone is saved. That's it, you're
home free! Go up the stairs to reach Liberty Island.


==============================================================================
 LIBERTY ISLAND FERRY                                                   [0412]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: None

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ferry is on the eastern end of the parking lot. Proceed to the docks and
talk to the captain to get on board, free of charge! Once the boat sets sail,
you will only have very little relaxation time before Baltheos freaks out over
the fact that it's Columbus Day. He runs below deck as Barkley and Cyberdwarf
are attacked by an evil fiend.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Duergar
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 8

So it's just Barkley and Cyberdwarf. Great. Gold Encrusted Pick Toss hits four
times, each dealing around 85 damage per hit. Gemstorm also hits all party
members for around 200 damage, so it's a real doozy. Level 2 Melf's Acid Arrow
not only inflicts around 220 damage, but also inflicts Diabetes on its
intended target. As you can see, Duergar is very powerful, and having only two
party members makes this battle a lot harder than normal bouts.

It may seem kooky, but have Cyberdwarf heal every turn while Barkley sticks to
attacking the Duergar. You will probably need to heal every turn, so have
Cyberdwarf use Dwarf Caress and various items to cure himself and Barkley.
Have Barkley power up with Ghost Muscle, then use Vampslam and Showboat Jam.
Have Cyberdwarf restore any lost BP with BBall Shards when needed. Normally a
battle like this would be cake, but having only two party members certainly
doesn't help.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Turns out that the Duergar WAS Balthios! The only reason Balthios freaked out
earlier is because long ago, an old gypsy placed a curse on him, and every
Columbus Day he turns into a bloodthirsty Duergar. Oh well, we won't have to
worry about that again until next year. Anyways, the group arrives at Liberty
City after the conversation.


==============================================================================
 LIBERTY ISLAND                                                         [0413]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: None

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   The Liberty Island quest is like the old
 |      - VENDING MACINE -       |   school point-and-click adventure games.
 o-------------------------------o   From the start, walk towards the rubble
 | Chicken Fry...............699 |   right above you and inspect the sparkly
 | BBall Tear................220 |   rock. Take the Triangle Rock. North of
 | Chicken Dew...............179 |   where the rock was is a vending machine
 | BBall Juice...............125 |   and a pump. Save and stock up, then head
 | Steroids..................100 |   up the stairs to the right. You won't be
 | Tobacco...................100 |   able to get inside the Statue of Liberty
 | BBall Shard................90 |   (looks a little different...), so turn
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   around and return to the previous area.
 | Fstone Mvitamin............25 |
 | Protein Paste..............23 |   Walk west past the vending machine and
 | Insulin....................20 |   continue into the house. You'll meet up
 | Chup.......................15 |   with Rutherford. He says that Yelmirb can
 | Alcohol....................10 |   cure Hoopz of his Type 2 Diabetes. The
 o-------------------------------o   bad news is that we cannot reach him yet.
                                     We will need the Palladium Orb Scepter to
reach his whereabouts. Try and take the pipe near the carpet, but we cannot
get it yet. Poor Barkley has no manners! As Rutherford first if we can take
the Pipe, then get it once he allows you to. Exit Rutherford's house and go
south. Walk down the staircase and examine the boulder blocking the cave. Use
the Pipe and the Triangle Rock on the boulder to gain access into Jenkin's
cave.

Select "Use Jenkins" to talk to him. The party is informed that Rutherford is
actually trying to kill Yelmirb. He hands over the Orc Scepter if Barkley
promises to kill Raffleson/Rutherford. Return to Raffleson's house to find out
that he is nowhere to be found. Uh oh! They get trapped inside the house as
sugar gas pours in. The trap stops though, buying us time to escape the house.

First, inspect the dresser and take a Zaubermancer Garb. Examine the clock:
it's 12:32. Next, examine the work table on the left and take the Screwdriver
out of the work table. "Use" the desk to pry it open, revealing a Desk Key.
Now go over to the bookshelf. You will have to pull three books in a certain
order to open a secret door. Here is the order: Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, and
Book 2. Now that the door is revealed, use the Desk Key to open it. We escaped!

Save your game and head back to the Statue of Liberty. Examine the Cultist in
front of the door. This guy's name is Mack. Talk to him to learn some
information as he leaves. He now stands in front of the stone slab to the left
of the pump, so go talk to him. After a very long talk, he will give you 750
Neo-Shekels and a Sugar Counter. You will have to traverse through the well to
find the Immaculate Rod.

Before you go down the well, return to Jenkin's cave. Inspect his corpse for
Cyberdwarf to learn Chaff Grenade. This is a must. Enter the well in the
center of the city.

The Sugar Counter is presented in the bottom left corner of the screen. If it
goes over 4.5, then you will die. The key to keeping the sugar level low is to
not dash. EVER. When down here, you can only walk. Also, you need to stay as
far away from the sugary (white) piles on the ground. It can be very difficult
to navigate down here, so take your time. The rocky patches on the walls can
emit sugar, so wait for the streams of sugar to stop before proceeding past.

Continue through until you reach a bridge. Go across to spot a white and blue
can of sorts. It will run across a sugary path, but you cannot follow it. Go
south and around the bend to have a sugar hallucination. Pass by the white
corpse not too long after to spot the weird thing that ran away before. Is it
the Diabeastie? No, but it's still hostile!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Reginald
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 8

Well, the mystery man is really Rutherford! Wait, no, it's Raffleson! Or was
it Richards? Argh, he likes to be referred to as Reginald! Okay, enough with
his many names. Reginald has many different attacks, and most of them suck.
Like, they suck for us, because they are powerful. He can summon a Bee Swarm
which can deal around 75-100 damage three or four times. Greater Earth Spire
can deal around 300 damage to an ally and Chromatic Orb Level 119 can inflict
multiple status effects and deal around 100 damage to its target.

You can only damage Reginald when the red force field surrounding his body
disappears. Until then, your attacks will deal very little damage. When he has
it up, just heal. As a result, this battle can take a while if you have to sit
around and wait for his shield to fall. He can make matters worse when he eats
a sandwich, which can restore 999 of his BP! If no one needs healing, then use
Cyberdwarf's physical attacks such as Suplex and Toss to lower Reginald's
stats. It's an annoying battle, but use your most powerful skills of all three
party members when the shield is down to hopefully end this one quickly.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

After Reginald falls to his doom, collect the Immaculate Rod and return to the
surface. Restock any items at the vending machine and save your game again,
then head back to the Statue of Libery to encounter the Diabeastie. Aww, he
doesn't look too deadly...


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Diabeasty
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 9

It seems obvious that the Diabeasty is easily capable of inflicting us with
Diabeates. Well, thats's what Sugar Storm is for. The attack inflicts Diabetes
on the entire party. It can also use Glomp to deal around 200 damage to a solo
target. Grasp of Glucos deals around 120 damage three times to a character.
Watch out for Spontaneous Sugarification, which is a one-hit KO on any one
party member. Revive him immediately and keep on goin'.

Use Fire Zauber and/or Muscle Zauber at the start of the battle and start your
heavy hitting on the Diabeasty. Cyberdwarf should stick to healing the party
and occasionally using his physical attacks. Try out Chaff Grenade to lower
the Diabeasty's GUARD. Barkley should use Holy Jam and Vampslam when he gets
the chance, and Thunder Zauber is definitely Baltheos's best offensive attack.
The battle isn't very hard, but you will most likely be using a lot of items
to revive party members and refill BP.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The sugar monster is dead as it drops a Poleshaft. An odd gentleman named
Octavius Steambrast asks that you give him your new item. If you want to head
to the Deathtemple and stay evil, then hellz no -- don't give it to him. Save
at the pump and enter the Statue of Liberty. Go up the ladders to reach
Yelmirb. It's really Wilform Brimley?! Ehhhh. He eventually agrees to cure
Hoopz until Vinceborg appears! I forgot about that guy.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Vinceborg 2050
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 10

Hopefully you managed to heal between the two bosses, because you'll need all
the BP and VP you can get (well duh). Vinceborg still has some of his old
attacks like Laser, but he has upgraded a bit too. He now can use Proximity
pass to deal around 140 damage to two characters. He can also use Binary
Shower to boost random stats of his. Like the previous battle, Vinceborg can
heal, but now he can heal 400 VP and 400 BP!

You should still be able to take him down rather easily. If you are lucky,
Vinceborg won't heal that much (if at all) during the fight, so use your most
powerful skills. Use Muscle Zauber and Chaff Grenade to lower his stats, then
use Barkley's Ghost Muscle to boost your own. From there on, have Cyberdwarf
heal while Barkley uses Showboat Jam and Baltheos uses Thunder Zauber. Once
Vinceborg is near death, resort to Zauber Slash and Forward Jumper to save
your BP-replenishing items. The fight may range on lengh depending if
Vinceborg decides to repeatedly heal.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Vinceborg retreats and Hoopz is miraculously healed. Back at the Underground
Railroad, the party regroups. Barkley lets Hoopz know of his origin, which is
pretty messed up. Juwanna Mann gives you the Dimension Whistle and says that
you should head to Cuchulainn's Ruins next. Barkley gives her the stupid
Turkey Feather in return. Damn, she got the REALLY short end of the stick on
that trade. Make sure to equip Hoopz of his equipment before talking to the
train conductor.


==============================================================================
 BARREN OUTSKIRTS                                                       [0414]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: None

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   The Barren Outskirts leads to several
 |           - SHOP -            |   secret areas. Again, I will cover all of
 o-------------------------------o   the sidequests in Section 5, so check it
 | Dwarf Muscle.............1499 |   out if you're looking for a guide for the
 | Dwarfstear................788 |   Chup Mines and the secret boss.
 | Egyption Gun..............733 |
 | Mystic B-Ball.............700 |   From the start, go east to the next area.
 | Tek-Skeleton..............507 |   Go north to reach a campfire. Some of the
 | Mithril Sweatband.........310 |   guys here are weird, especially the big,
 | Cyber-Gauntlet............270 |   armored samurai. He likes to talk about
 | Facemask..................255 |   monsters. >_> There is a shop here too
 | Hell Zauber...............246 |   that has many nice pieces of equipment.
 | Zaubermancer Garb.........237 |   It's a lot of money, but pick up a Dwarf
 | Pumps.....................199 |   Muscle and a Cyber-Gauntlet or two.
 | Referee Uniform...........175 |
 o-------------------------------o   Your main goal is to go to Cuchulainn's
                                     Tomb and do whatever the hell you need to
there. There is a secret area called the Chup Mines not too far from here (we
actually passed in on our way here), and I recommend that you go there before
heading to the tomb. It's up to you, but go to Section 5.2 to find the
walkthrough for the Chup Mines. If not, then go north at the campfire to reach
Cuchulainn's Tomb.


==============================================================================
 CUCHULAINN'S TOMB                                                      [0415]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: Bainshee, Ball Brain, Ball Droid, Ball Spider, Dread Ref, Mech
          Gatorade, Slam Spectre, Whistle, Zomballer
   Items: BBall Juice x5, Bloody Zauber, Chicken Dew x5, Chicken Fry x2,
          H/S Ball, Hell B-Ball, Pumps

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   This is a pretty big place, so brace
 |      - VENDING MACINE -       |   yourself. At the entrance, open the
 o-------------------------------o   chests in the corridor on the right for
 | Chicken Fry...............699 |   five BBall Juices and Pumps. Continue
 | BBall Tear................220 |   down the northern hall and open the chest
 | Chicken Dew...............179 |   on the right for five Chicken Dews. Go
 | BBall Juice...............125 |   north until a gate stops you and head
 | Steroids..................100 |   through the maze-like tunnels to the
 | Tobacco...................100 |   right. Take the southern end at the fork
 | BBall Shard................90 |   and you will come to an intersection. To
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   the left is a chest and to the right is a
 | Fstone Mvitamin............25 |   crystal. Open the chest first for a
 | Protein Paste..............23 |   Bloody Zauber, then check out the weird
 | Insulin....................20 |   crystal. In order to open the gate at the
 | Chup.......................15 |   front of the room, you must hit each of
 | Alcohol....................10 |   the four crystals in a specific order.
 o-------------------------------o   The order is:

 Blue   - northeast                  Blue, Green, Purple, Red
 Green  - southwest
 Purple - southeast
 Red    - northwest

You can also find two chests containing 1000 Neo-Shekels and two Chicken
Fries. Remember that you must quickly hit each crystal in the order shown
above. The gate should open. Before continuing through, inspect the stone face
next to the gate to heal your VP and BP.

The party splits up in the next room and each takes their own path. As a
result, you get to play as all four characters as they each go on their little
quest! Ooh joy!

Baltheos is up first. Talk to the soldier in front of you to start a battle.
The Android Officer not only looks vaguely familiar, but isn't that difficult.
Just spam Zauber Slash every turn. Next up, you will fight... Master Chief?!
Something like that. Adept Soldier is a bit tougher than the Android Officer,
but one Thunder Zauber followed by a few Zauber Slashes will put him away.
Next, you will fight a Greek Warrior. This guy looks familiar too. Again, he
is a pushover. Once all three battles are won, go up to the room above.
Baltheos hits the switch and you'll switch to another character.

Now you are playing as Cyberdwarf. You will start off in front of a large
chasm with a bucket of sand next to you. To navigate across the hole, use the
action button to throw sand. If it falls down the hole, then you're out of
luck, but there is an invisible path to take.

Use the sand to find the invisible path and get across. I don't know about
everyone else, but my game lagged a lot here. Prolly just because my computer
sucks. Anyways, it's tougher than it looks, but you should get across on your
first or second try. Cyberdwarf gets by and hits the switch.

There are no enemies to fight with Hoopz, but you will have to traverse
through a maze. If you mess up, you will end up repeating the same identical
path over and over. To get through the maze, follow these directions:

 Left, Middle, Left, Right

After you escape, Hoopz will hit the switch and role switches to Barkley.

Another puzzle for Mr. Barkley. His #34 jersey is encased in the corner, and
there are various crystals in front of a large screen. Each crystal has a
number, and the number on the screen must total up to 34. In order to do that,
hit the following switches (from the left):

 First crystal (11)
 second crystal (3)
 sixth crystal (15)
 seventh crystal (5)

They total up to 34 and the door will open. Unfortunately, Barkley falls for
the trap and Cuchulainn is freed! What the party doesn't know won't hurt them,
right? RIGHT?!

Once the party forms, go through the newly opened door. Barkley puts the
Prototype B-Ball into the jamicite and the Hell B-Ball is formed. Barkley runs
off in a tranced state. Pick up some goods from the vending machine and save
at the gas pump before heading down the path to find an odd object on the
ground. This is Shimmerglobe, some weird b-ball thing that is like, the Lord
of B-Ball. Anyways, it sicks a Ball Spider on you. Wipe the floor with that
dumb monster.

Shimmerglobe will fuse with the Hell B-Ball to form the H/S Ball. It's weaker
than the Hell B-Ball, but it allows Barkley to attack twice in one turn! Give
it to the baller immediately. We are headed off to Necron 5!


==============================================================================
 BARREN OUTSKIRTS                                                       [0416]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: None

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 NOTE: You can use the Barren Outskirts to reach Cyberdwarf's ship, which will
       lead to Necron 5, but I think it's best that you tackle the Barren
       Outskirt's secret boss here before going to Necron 5. If you wish to do
       so, check out Section 5.3 for more info on this baddie.

The Barren Outskirts is very small, so there isn't much exploring here. Stock
up at the campfire and save your game, then go south. Pass by the Chup Mines
and the railroad. Continue south and follow the trail.

Talk to the man here to learn a bit about a World Map (whatever the heck that
is...) and go south to enter the World Map. Whoah, I've never experienced
something so trippy in a game before! Like, a shrunken version of the earth!?
Follow the path to Cyberdwarf's ship and get ready to blast off to Necron 5.


==============================================================================
 NECRON 5                                                               [0417]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: None

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 o-------------------------------o   This is the site for the final battle! Go
 |      - VENDING MACINE -       |   down the long hallway to encounter
 o-------------------------------o   Vinceborg again. Instead of battling,
 | Chicken Fry...............699 |   Barkley finally convinces the android who
 | BBall Tear................220 |   he really is. Vinceborg finally halts his
 | Chicken Dew...............179 |   evil mission to kill Hoopz by self-
 | BBall Juice...............125 |   destructing! What a confused, robotic
 | Steroids..................100 |   soul. Pick up some items at the vending
 | Tobacco...................100 |   machine past the rubble. The pump nearby
 | BBall Shard................90 |   will quiz you on random video game trivia
 | Ecto Cooler................66 |   before you're able to save. The pump says
 | Fstone Mvitamin............25 |   you will get something nice for getting
 | Protein Paste..............23 |   all the answers right, but it is a dirty
 | Insulin....................20 |   liar. As a result, see how you can do on
 | Chup.......................15 |   your own with the quiz. I mean, it does
 | Alcohol....................10 |   not matter if you get any wrong or right.
 o-------------------------------o
                                     Save your game and interact with the
weird portal device next to the vending machine to fully heal. Enter the
desolate b-ball court past the pump. Something isn't right here, and that is
is proven when Inspector Jordan arrives on the scene. It's the final showdown
between these two rival b-ballers!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Michael Jordan
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 11

It's one on one here, so you can only rely on Barkley to defeat Michael Jordan
in the final showdown. Jordan still has his old attacks such as H-H-Head Shot,
Hurricane Shot, and Defy Clispaeth. H-H-Head Shot still deals very little
damage and Defy Clispaeth will raise Jordan's GUARD. Counter this by using
Ghost Muscle.

After using Ghost Muscle, repeatedly spam Doubleteam throughout the entire
battle. Heal your VP and BP when needed, of course. Don't worry about the
other techniques since Doubleteam will deal double damage if you have the H/S
Ball equipped. If you have equipment such as Shrekmono equipped, Jordan's
attacks will deal no more than 20 damage. This is a total breeze.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Well, that was anticlimactic. You know what they say: if you can't slam with
the best, then jam with the rest!! Punk-ass. If you try and leave the b-ball
court via the northern exit, Cyberdwarf will stop you.

 NOTE: Maybe it's a good time to use that Dimension Whistle Juwanna Mann gave
       us a while back. It will transport the party to the B-Ball Dimension,
       an optional area where you can fight some baddies and get some gnarly
       bling. Check out Section 5.4 for a walkthrough of it.

Whether you left for the B-Ball Dimension or not, continue to the northern end
of the desolate b-ball court. This is the final pit stop, so I hope you have
prepared. Before finding the Ultimate B-Ball, the party is stopped by an evil
doppleganger. Refuse to join your shadowy self to initiate a battle!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Shadow Barkley
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 13

What a massive foe we have in front of us. This monster has many different
attacks at its disposal. Dark Vortex is a basic attack that can deal around
200 damage to one character and Shadow Lightning can deal around 100-130
damage randomly to all characters. On top of that, Plague Needle will inflict
Diabetes and Glaucoma to the entire party! Cyberdwarf should be your main
healer, since Shadow Barkley can also use Verbotem Jam to basically kill a
party member in one hit.

Have Balthios use Muscle Zauber to crapify his stats and make it even worse by
having Cyberdwarf start off with Chaff Grenade. Like always, Cyberdwarf should
then be demoted to group healer. Barkley can attack with Doubleteam and
Baltheos will either use Muscle Zauber over and over or use Thunder Zauber.
Hoopz's Gun's Slay can do plenty of damage to Shadow Zauber as well. Have your
party (almost) fully heal when Shadow Barkley has only a sliver of VP, since
you will need to be prepared for a battle later. Beware though, since Shadow
Barkley can use Moon Regeneration to heal around 550 VP!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

After Shadow Barkley is defeated, you will be thrown into a boss battle right
after! This is the final boss!!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: T-Rex Barkley
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 13

Oh dear, this form is very, very tough. T-Rex Barkley is a hard-hitting
machine, and all of his attacks have the potential of killing a party member
in one shot. Tail Whip can deal around 160-180 damage... three times to one
character. Chomp Chomp Yum Yum not only deals around 400 damage, but it also
heals the t-rex for the same amount of damage dealt! Dinosaur Spit lowers all
of your stats significantly and Battle Roar will raise T-Rex Barkley's POWER
but an astounding 28!. Flamehell can also deal up to 300 damage to the entire
party. On top of all that garbage, Doomfire Death can instantly kill two party
members! Yes, TWO! Geez!

I'd like to remind you that this is the final battle, so use every single item
you can. Use up all your Chicken Fries, Chicken Dews, Ecto Coolers, BBall
Tears, and so on. Cyberdwarf should be the one to use these items along with
his spells. Everyone else should attack and occasionally heal themselves if
they really need it.

The key to winning is to be durable as opposed to trying to take out T-Rex
Barkley quickly. Lower his stats with Muscle Zauber and use Water Zauber to
give him some nasty status ailments. Barkley can use Ghost Muscle and Hoopz
should use Gun's Slay. Balthios should actually limit himself to using Muscle
Zauber nearly every turn to keep T-Rex Barkley in a weakened state. As for
offensive attacks, Barkley can stick to Doubleteam and Showboat Jam and Hoopz
should use Gun's Slay and TrickGun Assault every once in a while. This battle
will take a very long time, but if you use all of your items and keep the
party healthy, you will come out on top.

Oh yeah, use Golden Potato to basically kill him in one hit. :)

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I would let in some info on the ending of the game, but it's so damn funny
that I don't want to spoil anything for you. Trust me, you'll enjoy it. There
better be a Chapter 2, though.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this guide. I put a lot of time into it, so I hope
it was of use. Okay, bye.


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

[5] SIDEQUESTS                                                          [0500]

==============================================================================

Barkley, Shut Up and Jam has a few optional areas and events you can do, and
this is the spot where they will be featured. I will state the first time you
will be able to access each sidequest in the walkthrough, though.


==============================================================================
 DIKEMBE MUTUMBO'S TOMB                                                 [0501]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: Ball Droid, Dread Ref, Whistle
   Items: Chicken Dew x2, Femur

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The tomb of famous b-baller Dikembe Mutumbo is fairly small, so you shouldn't
have to spend much time here. Fight all the enemies you can here to level up
and test out Cyberdwarf's odd fighting style. Go north to reach a fork, then
take a left. The right path is a long tunnel that leads nowhere.

As you go through the long path, the party will be interrupted by a wailing
noise. Whatever. Continue through, picking up the two Chicken Dews from the
wall panel right past the statues. Head north to the next area and stick to
the northern path. The party will hear the strange noise again, but proceed
through. You will reach the tomb and Dikembe Mutumbo's ghost appears. He is
not too kind to the party and attacks!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: D. Mutumbo
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 4

This guy actually isn't that tough. He looks just like Kobe Bryant and has
some of the same moves. He is powerful, as Balla Dash can deal around 150
damage to one party member! Counter that by using Fire Zauber to lower his
POWER. You can also use Snail Zauber and Water Zauber to slow him down and
give him random status effects respectively. Demi-Lightning Fists is by far D.
Mutumbo's most dangerous attack. He can hit for 40-60 damage around six or
seven times! If anyone survives a hit, pay all attention to healing that
character.

Vinceborg's Refractor Beam and Kobe's Vampslam are very good attacks to use
against D. Mutumbo. I had Cyberdwarf focus on healing and keeping everyone in
tact while everyone else attacked. If Mutumbo uses Devolve to enter a trace,
use your more powerful attacks, since he will recover loads of VP! This battle
shouldn't take too long, especially if he doesn't use Devolve.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Once Dikembe Mutumbo's ghost is defeated, you will receive a Femur. Mutumbo
will also pass down one of his most special techniques to Barkley. As a
result, Barkley learns Holy Dunk! Leave the tomb and return to Cesspool X.
Talk to the dog wandering around (the normal one, not the freaks). It will
begin to talk and trade its Nikes for your Femur. Do so and equip it to a slow
character to boost their SPEED by 14!


==============================================================================
 CHUP MINES                                                             [0502]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: Falcon Johdpurs, Genie Lamp, Mysterious Potion, Shrekmono, Shrekmono
          Piccie

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To reach the Chup Mines, go south from the campfire and hang a left at the
intersection. The Duergars here are being enslaved by evil genies, so we
should probably go ahead and put a stop to that. Enter the next area and go
north through the main path. You'll eventually reach a table where the head
Duergar is negotiating with one of the genies. Agree to mediate for the civil
rights negotiation. You will be asked several questions, and it is best to
side with the Duergars. Here are the best choices for each question:

 Q: What is your opinion on sludge elfs?
 A: Can no more coexist than fire and water.

 Q: How do you feel about the current sewer crisis?
 A: Pro-sewers.

 Q: What should be the primary diet of all Duergars?
 A: Dunkaroos.

 Q: Remove the ban on bubbling tinctures and elixers?
 A: All brews are now legal.

 Q: What should be done about ensorcelled weaponry?
 A: I love a good enchantment.

 Q: Your stance on Duergars' with patriotic quilts?
 A: All quilts must be patriotic.

 Q: How many hexes can be placed on each Duergar?
 A: 0 hexes.

 Q: What is the maximum ratio of gilded chalices to rubies?
 A: Rubies, rubies, rubies.

 Q: How many caverns is each Duergar allowed to spelunk?
 A: To each his own...

You probably noticed that all you needed to do was choose the first answer
every time. With all the questions asked in favor of the Duergars, Barkley
will be rewarded with a Shrekmono and a Shrekmono Piccie. Equip the Shrekmono
to either Barkley or Hoopz and return to the entrance of the second cave. Take
a right now and talk to the Duergar behind the counter. He will reward the
party with a Mysterious Potion.

You can also decide to be mean and favor the genies in the negotiations. If
you select the last answer for every question, then you will get a Genie Lamp.
Talk to the genie near the entrance of the second cave for Falcon Johdpurs.
Mwahahaha!

If you use the Genie Lamp, you can summon Kazaam. He will grant the party one
out of three wishes:

 Power     - Party gains +5 VP, BP, POWER, GUARD, BRAIN, and SPEED
 Wealth    - Gain 5000 Neo-Shekels
 Knowledge - Gain information about the Deathtemple

It may be morally right to favor the Duergars, but the wish granted by Kazaam
is pretty sweet. It's up to you.


==============================================================================
 GHASTLY DARKLORD                                                       [0503]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: Ghastly Darklord
   Items: Golden Potato

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ghastly Darklord is found in the Barren Outskirts, and it is recommended to
fight he before going to Necron 5 (but after Cuchulainn's Tomb). He is very
well hidden, so it's easy to accidentally stumble upon this guy if you love to
search through every nook and cranny of an area.

Go to the southern end of Barren Outskirts near the dealer and the guy that
talks about the World Map. Go to the right side of the parking lot towards a
small batch of oil drums. It's in the southeast corner, so walk to the very
tip of the area towards the drum tucked in the corner. You will hear an evil
voice as the monster appears.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Ghastly Darklord
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 11

WTF. That character sprite is wack. This guy is a real pain, since Tongue Lash
alone will inflict every single status effect on one party member. Ghastly
Darklord also can kill a random party member with Blackout. Mystic Eye Beam of
Doom is just like Vinceborg's attack; it will deal around 80 damage to random
targets. Head Bash is your normal everyday physical attack that will deal
around 100 damage. To top it off, Soul Consume heals him for around 360 VP!

Start off by having Barkley use Ghost Muscle and Baltheos using Muscle Zauber.
Cyberdwarf can use Chaff Grenade, then resort to healing for the remainder of
the battle. Hoopz isn't that useful in this fight either, so he can heal and
occasionally attack. Don't try inflicting Ghastly Darklord with Diabetes or
Glaucoma, since he is immune to both.

Make sure Barkley has the H/S Ball equipped and have him use Doubleteam. Since
you can double dribble with two b-balls, the attack deals twice as much as
normally! Plus, it only consumes 10 BP so you can use it multiple times before
refilling with a BBall Tear. Baltheos can probably stick to Thunder Zauber
while he occasionally lowers Ghastly Darklord's stats. If you make sure to
heal every turn with Cyberdwarf or Hoopz, then you should be good to go.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

That's it for the secret boss! You will obtain a Golden Potato after the
fight. This magical item will summon Hiratio, which can instantly kill any
enemy in the game! Use this item wisely though.


==============================================================================
 B-BALL DIMENSION                                                       [0504]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: Ivory's Bromide, Mithril Jersey, Tupperware Armor

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a one-time place, so talk to Carmelo Anthony (standing next to the
pump) if you want to go back. Remember; if you do, you won't be able to come
back here. There are several neat little events that you can participate here
in the B-Ball Dimension.

Talk to the various tourists standing outside of the buildings here. One of
them is the legendary Dick Vitale. Again, if you wish to go to the Deathtemple
by being an evil son of a gun, don't give Dick Vitale any Neo-Shekels.


--- DATING SERVICE -----------------------------------------------------------

The Dating Service is to the right of the arena, so head inside. Cyberdwarf is
the only one willing to go through the dating service, so it's up to him to
score a hottie. That hottie happens to be Ivory Latta from the WNBA. Answer
the following questions to win the date:

 "That's a pretty name, Ivory"
 "What are some of your interests?"
 "What books do you like?"
 "I also read romance novels"
 "I think you doubt yourself"
 "I don't think so"
 "That... that was amazing"
 "It's... beautiful"
 "What do you usually think about?"

If you answer all of those, Cyberdwarf will get a smooch as well as Tupperware
Armor and Ivory's Bromide. Give the Tupperware Armor to Cyberdwarf.


--- B-BALL RANCH -------------------------------------------------------------

Totally useless, but funny as hell. You can raise your own pet b-ball by
feeding it, watering it, and even training it. Each food product costs money,
so it's not really worth it. It's a cute take on monster training, but you
can't get anything out of raising a pet b-ball.


--- B-BALL TOURNAMENT --------------------------------------------------------

You can participate in a tournament to find the best fighter. It's right next
to the pump, so enter and register behind the front desk. It is time to
dethrone Kevin Garnett! Register and speak with the champ, then get ready to
do battle in the B-Ball Tournament!

The first contestant is Hell Orc. One hit should kill him. Your second
opponent is Doomhell Skele. Again, he is ridiculously easy. The same goes for
the third opponent: the Blood Ghoul. After defeating three enemies, you will
fight the Delmon Master. He is a bit tougher than the other contestants, but
still fairly simple. Once defeating the four pathetic monsters, you will face
off with the reigning champ: Kevin Garnett!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Kevin Garnett
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 12

It is a one on one fight between Charles Barkley and Kevin Garnett. You really
need to watch our for Dipsy Doo Dunkaroo, which can deal damage and lower your
GUARD by 25! Dojo Kick can deal around 210 damage if your GUARD has been
lowered and 3-Point can also take a nice chunk out of your BP. Still, you and
your H/S Ball can probably tear him apart with normal attacks. Just stick to
Forward Jumpers and Free Throws to take him out. Yawn.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

After becoming the new champion, Barkley receives the Mithril Jersey! Give it
to either Barkley or Hoopz (whomever isn't wearing the Shrekmono) to boost
their GUARD greatly.

That's it to the B-Ball Dimension, so you can now talk to Carmelo Anthony to
return to Necro 5. Don't forget to save before doing so.


==============================================================================
 DEATHTEMPLE                                                            [0505]
==============================================================================

 Enemies: None
   Items: None

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To access Deathtemple, you must be the most evil, corrupt, and despicable
person possible. You have four options throughout the game where you can make
a good or bad descision. You must make all four bad decisions to be able to
access the Deathtemple. Afterwards, simply die/get a game over and instead of
going to the main menu, you will reach Deathtemple. Here are the four options
that factor whether or not you can make it here.

 1. Neo New York City - don't give the small child in front of the church any
    Neo-Shekels.

 2. Neo New York City Sewers - don't give the bum outside of Dr. Allard's
    office any Neo-Shekels.

 3. Proto Neo New York - don ot apologize to Wildman, who lives in the house
    next to Juwanna Mann.

 4. B-Ball Dimension - do not give Dick Vitale any Neo-Shekels.

If you do all four of these and then die or get a game over, Barkley will
arrive in Deathtemple. There is nothing really valuable or important here, but
you can talk to the game creaters who are represented by NPCs. Walk around and
talk to everyone to learn about all wacky info. If you want to get the hell
(lol puns) out of here, talk to the giant face at the north end of Deathtemple
to revert to the main menu. Nothing important here, but it's funny.


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

[6] BOSSES                                                              [0600]

==============================================================================

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Dread Ref
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 2

This boss is very easy and doesn't have too much health. Technical Foul can
Foul one of your party members, and Knife Boot Face Gash can deal a lot of
damage. Fortunately, many of the hits have a high chance of missing. You can
use your various skills, but they aren't necessarily needed. Most powerful
physical attacks, such as Barkley's Forward Jumper and Hellbane's Zauber Slash
is enough to put him away after enough hits. Remember that you can use Ecto
Coolers to refill your VP.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: BBall Monster
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 3

The BBall Monster is certainly tougher than the Dread Ref from before. His
attacks are very strong, especially against Baltheos. His Ball Punch can deal
around 95 damage to Baltheos! His Juke Spinner attack can hit several times
between both party members, dealiing around 20 damage a pop. BBall Twister is
another strong attack that deals around 50 damage in one hit.

The key to winning is to guard and lower the BBall Monster's POWER. Use
Baltheos's Flame Zauber has the ability to lower its POWER, so use the attack
when you get a chance. The monster can use Brace Onself, which will raise its
POWER, so definitely use Flame Zauber if it uses the ability. Once it is
weakened, unleash your greatest attacks, such as Ice Zauber and Barkley's
Showboat Jam. Maintain your VP and occasionally guard to lower the chance of
getting pummeled by the BBall Monster. Not too tough of a fight when powerful
attacks can deal 100-200 damage.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Michael Jordan, Vinceborg 2050
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 5

Michael Jordan is fairly weak, so do everything in your power to take him out
first. His Hurricane Shot can deal multiple shots to various party members and
H-H-Head Shot can cut a nice chunk out of one party member's VP. If you have
Holy Dunk, use it on Jordan to deal around 250 damage. Use Baltheos's Thunder
Zauber and Cyberdwarf's physical attacks to take out Jordan in hopefully one
or two rounds. He isn't much of a threat, but get him out of the way first.

Once Michael Jordan is down for the count, it's just you and Vinceborg. Use
Cyberdwarf to restore Barkley and Baltheos's BP and leave those two to the
attacking. Like you know, Vince's Eye Laser attack can really hurt. Refractor
Beam is equally as bad, but luckily those are his only two offensive attacks.
He does have Recharge, which heals around 240 VP. Like always, lower his POWER
with Flame Zauber and commence with the beatdown. This battle isn't exactly
hard, but take note that Vinceborg has a lot of VP.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Dr Allard
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 6

The doctor has very high GUARD, so dealing loads of damage to him can be hard.
His attacks are very deadly, such as Heart Stab (it can deal around 200-250
damage to one character). Dirty Needles is fairly weak, but can target many
characters at once. Faulty Plague Vaccine is probably Dr. Allard's most lethal
attack. He can hit one party member three times, each dealing around 100
damage. That's not all; with every hit, he will inflict a status effect.

Assign one character to heal non-stop. I don't know why, but my Balthios blew
in this fight, so I assigned him with the healing role. Have Hoopz use
Accurate Shot, because his skills are very weak. Cyberdwarf should use any of
his physical attacks (I'm a fan of Jab) and Barkley can use Forward Jumper. I
suggest spending the first turn or two lowering the doc's POWER and SPEED with
Fire and Snail Zauber, respectively, then let Baltheos heal for the rest of
the fight. It's not very hard, but it may take a little while.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Ghost Dad
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 6

Oh God, the character sprite for Ghost Dad is LOL-worthy. However, he is the
toughest boss you have faced yet. His Fog Breath can lower the entire party's
SPEED in one shot. Spook can deal around 100 damage and inflicts Glaucoma on
the target. Ghostly Curse is even worse, since it inflicts random status
effects on the entire party. Use Dwarf Caress if this attack ever comes up.
Ectoplasm is a straight-up powerful attack, which can deal around 300 damage
to one character. Watch out for Ghost Muscle, which will raise Ghost Dad's
POWER significantly. Use Fire Zauber on Baltheos's next turn and whip out the
Ecto Coolers for this fight.

Even with Hoopz's new weapon, he should stick to the group healer because he
is still very weak. If the entire party is perfectly fine, then have him use
TrickGun Assault. It is a surprisingly powerful attack. Have Cyberdwarf attack
occasionally, but have him use Dwarf Caress and Glaucoma Prayer if the other
party members are hit with status effects. Baltheos should use Fire Zauber and
Muscle Zauber at the start of the battle, then resort to Zauber Slash.

Barkley has a wide range of powerful attacks. Holy Dunk can deal over 300
damage in one shot, but it drains your entire BP bar. So instead of using Holy
Dunk and then refilling all his BP, it may be better to use a handful of
weaker attacks such as Vampslam and Doubleteam. Remember to stock up on some
Ecto Coolers and BBall Shards if you happen to lose the battle. It'll take a
very long time (much longer than the other bosses) and you may die once or
twice, but hang in there and you should eventually win.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Scott Creelman
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 7

The only attack you should watch out for is Kamikaze Jam, since it can
basically kill someone in one hit (not literally, but it deals around 540
damage). Make sure to use Chicken Dews and Steroids when needed. Otherwise,
his techniques aren't that dangerous. Low Blow is very weak and Illusion Shot
can deal around 65 damage to multiple targets. You should be able to deal a
load of damage with skills such as Vampslam, Thunder Zauber, and TrickGun
Assault.

After losing a lot of health, Scott Creelman will restort to dirty tactics.
Glory of BBall will restore around 550-570 HP and cure the CEO of all status
ailments. He'll also start to use BBall Bash, which can deal around 80 damage
to one target THREE times. Remember, Steroids and Chicken Dew. Have Cyberdwarf
use Dwarf Caress and make sure to deal as much damage as possible with the
rest of the party to take him out before he can heal.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Duergar
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 8

So it's just Barkley and Cyberdwarf. Great. Gold Encrusted Pick Toss hits four
times, each dealing around 85 damage per hit. Gemstorm also hits all party
members for around 200 damage, so it's a real doozy. Level 2 Melf's Acid Arrow
not only inflicts around 220 damage, but also inflicts Diabetes on its
intended target. As you can see, Duergar is very powerful, and having only two
party members makes this battle a lot harder than normal bouts.

It may seem kooky, but have Cyberdwarf heal every turn while Barkley sticks to
attacking the Duergar. You will probably need to heal every turn, so have
Cyberdwarf use Dwarf Caress and various items to cure himself and Barkley.
Have Barkley power up with Ghost Muscle, then use Vampslam and Showboat Jam.
Have Cyberdwarf restore any lost BP with BBall Shards when needed. Normally a
battle like this would be cake, but having only two party members certainly
doesn't help.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Reginald
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 8

Well, the mystery man is really Rutherford! Wait, no, it's Raffleson! Or was
it Richards? Argh, he likes to be referred to as Reginald! Okay, enough with
his many names. Reginald has many different attacks, and most of them suck.
Like, they suck for us, because they are powerful. He can summon a Bee Swarm
which can deal around 75-100 damage three or four times. Greater Earth Spire
can deal around 300 damage to an ally and Chromatic Orb Level 119 can inflict
multiple status effects and deal around 100 damage to its target.

You can only damage Reginald when the red force field surrounding his body
disappears. Until then, your attacks will deal very little damage. When he has
it up, just heal. As a result, this battle can take a while if you have to sit
around and wait for his shield to fall. He can make matters worse when he eats
a sandwich, which can restore 999 of his BP! If no one needs healing, then use
Cyberdwarf's physical attacks such as Suplex and Toss to lower Reginald's
stats. It's an annoying battle, but use your most powerful skills of all three
party members when the shield is down to hopefully end this one quickly.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Diabeasty
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 9

It seems obvious that the Diabeasty is easily capable of inflicting us with
Diabeates. Well, thats's what Sugar Storm is for. The attack inflicts Diabetes
on the entire party. It can also use Glomp to deal around 200 damage to a solo
target. Grasp of Glucos deals around 120 damage three times to a character.
Watch out for Spontaneous Sugarification, which is a one-hit KO on any one
party member. Revive him immediately and keep on goin'.

Use Fire Zauber and/or Muscle Zauber at the start of the battle and start your
heavy hitting on the Diabeasty. Cyberdwarf should stick to healing the party
and occasionally using his physical attacks. Try out Chaff Grenade to lower
the Diabeasty's GUARD. Barkley should use Holy Jam and Vampslam when he gets
the chance, and Thunder Zauber is definitely Baltheos's best offensive attack.
The battle isn't very hard, but you will most likely be using a lot of items
to revive party members and refill BP.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Vinceborg 2050
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 10

Hopefully you managed to heal between the two bosses, because you'll need all
the BP and VP you can get (well duh). Vinceborg still has some of his old
attacks like Laser, but he has upgraded a bit too. He now can use Proximity
pass to deal around 140 damage to two characters. He can also use Binary
Shower to boost random stats of his. Like the previous battle, Vinceborg can
heal, but now he can heal 400 VP and 400 BP!

You should still be able to take him down rather easily. If you are lucky,
Vinceborg won't heal that much (if at all) during the fight, so use your most
powerful skills. Use Muscle Zauber and Chaff Grenade to lower his stats, then
use Barkley's Ghost Muscle to boost your own. From there on, have Cyberdwarf
heal while Barkley uses Showboat Jam and Baltheos uses Thunder Zauber. Once
Vinceborg is near death, resort to Zauber Slash and Forward Jumper to save
your BP-replenishing items. The fight may range on lengh depending if
Vinceborg decides to repeatedly heal.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Michael Jordan
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 11

It's one on one here, so you can only rely on Barkley to defeat Michael Jordan
in the final showdown. Jordan still has his old attacks such as H-H-Head Shot,
Hurricane Shot, and Defy Clispaeth. H-H-Head Shot still deals very little
damage and Defy Clispaeth will raise Jordan's GUARD. Counter this by using
Ghost Muscle.

After using Ghost Muscle, repeatedly spam Doubleteam throughout the entire
battle. Heal your VP and BP when needed, of course. Don't worry about the
other techniques since Doubleteam will deal double damage if you have the H/S
Ball equipped. If you have equipment such as Shrekmono equipped, Jordan's
attacks will deal no more than 20 damage. This is a total breeze.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Shadow Barkley
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 13

What a massive foe we have in front of us. This monster has many different
attacks at its disposal. Dark Vortex is a basic attack that can deal around
200 damage to one character and Shadow Lightning can deal around 100-130
damage randomly to all characters. On top of that, Plague Needle will inflict
Diabetes and Glaucoma to the entire party! Cyberdwarf should be your main
healer, since Shadow Barkley can also use Verbotem Jam to basically kill a
party member in one hit.

Have Balthios use Muscle Zauber to crapify his stats and make it even worse by
having Cyberdwarf start off with Chaff Grenade. Like always, Cyberdwarf should
then be demoted to group healer. Barkley can attack with Doubleteam and
Baltheos will either use Muscle Zauber over and over or use Thunder Zauber.
Hoopz's Gun's Slay can do plenty of damage to Shadow Zauber as well. Have your
party (almost) fully heal when Shadow Barkley has only a sliver of VP, since
you will need to be prepared for a battle later. Beware though, since Shadow
Barkley can use Moon Regeneration to heal around 550 VP!


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: T-Rex Barkley
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 13

Oh dear, this form is very, very tough. T-Rex Barkley is a hard-hitting
machine, and all of his attacks have the potential of killing a party member
in one shot. Tail Whip can deal around 160-180 damage... three times to one
character. Chomp Chomp Yum Yum not only deals around 400 damage, but it also
heals the t-rex for the same amount of damage dealt! Dinosaur Spit lowers all
of your stats significantly and Battle Roar will raise T-Rex Barkley's POWER
but an astounding 28!. Flamehell can also deal up to 300 damage to the entire
party. On top of all that garbage, Doomfire Death can instantly kill two party
members! Yes, TWO! Geez!

I'd like to remind you that this is the final battle, so use every single item
you can. Use up all your Chicken Fries, Chicken Dews, Ecto Coolers, BBall
Tears, and so on. Cyberdwarf should be the one to use these items along with
his spells. Everyone else should attack and occasionally heal themselves if
they really need it.

The key to winning is to be durable as opposed to trying to take out T-Rex
Barkley quickly. Lower his stats with Muscle Zauber and use Water Zauber to
give him some nasty status ailments. Barkley can use Ghost Muscle and Hoopz
should use Gun's Slay. Balthios should actually limit himself to using Muscle
Zauber nearly every turn to keep T-Rex Barkley in a weakened state. As for
offensive attacks, Barkley can stick to Doubleteam and Showboat Jam and Hoopz
should use Gun's Slay and TrickGun Assault every once in a while. This battle
will take a very long time, but if you use all of your items and keep the
party healthy, you will come out on top.

Oh yeah, use Golden Potato to basically kill him in one hit. :)


 NOTE: The following bosses are found in secret areas in the game and are
       entirely optional. For more info, check out Section 5.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: D. Mutumbo
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 4

This guy actually isn't that tough. He looks just like Kobe Bryant and has
some of the same moves. He is powerful, as Balla Dash can deal around 150
damage to one party member! Counter that by using Fire Zauber to lower his
POWER. You can also use Snail Zauber and Water Zauber to slow him down and
give him random status effects respectively. Demi-Lightning Fists is by far D.
Mutumbo's most dangerous attack. He can hit for 40-60 damage around six or
seven times! If anyone survives a hit, pay all attention to healing that
character.

Vinceborg's Refractor Beam and Kobe's Vampslam are very good attacks to use
against D. Mutumbo. I had Cyberdwarf focus on healing and keeping everyone in
tact while everyone else attacked. If Mutumbo uses Devolve to enter a trace,
use your more powerful attacks, since he will recover loads of VP! This battle
shouldn't take too long, especially if he doesn't use Devolve.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Ghastly Darklord
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 11

WTF. That character sprite is wack. This guy is a real pain, since Tongue Lash
alone will inflict every single status effect on one party member. Ghastly
Darklord also can kill a random party member with Blackout. Mystic Eye Beam of
Doom is just like Vinceborg's attack; it will deal around 80 damage to random
targets. Head Bash is your normal everyday physical attack that will deal
around 100 damage. To top it off, Soul Consume heals him for around 360 VP!

Start off by having Barkley use Ghost Muscle and Baltheos using Muscle Zauber.
Cyberdwarf can use Chaff Grenade, then resort to healing for the remainder of
the battle. Hoopz isn't that useful in this fight either, so he can heal and
occasionally attack. Don't try inflicting Ghastly Darklord with Diabetes or
Glaucoma, since he is immune to both.

Make sure Barkley has the H/S Ball equipped and have him use Doubleteam. Since
you can double dribble with two b-balls, the attack deals twice as much as
normally! Plus, it only consumes 10 BP so you can use it multiple times before
refilling with a BBall Tear. Baltheos can probably stick to Thunder Zauber
while he occasionally lowers Ghastly Darklord's stats. If you make sure to
heal every turn with Cyberdwarf or Hoopz, then you should be good to go.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 BOSS: Kevin Garnett
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 Recommended Level: 12

It is a one on one fight between Charles Barkley and Kevin Garnett. You really
need to watch our for Dipsy Doo Dunkaroo, which can deal damage and lower your
GUARD by 25! Dojo Kick can deal around 210 damage if your GUARD has been
lowered and 3-Point can also take a nice chunk out of your BP. Still, you and
your H/S Ball can probably tear him apart with normal attacks. Just stick to
Forward Jumpers and Free Throws to take him out. Yawn.


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

[7] EQUIPMENT                                                           [0700]

==============================================================================

==============================================================================
 WEAPONS                                                                [0701]
==============================================================================

--- SOCCERBALL ---------------------------------------------------------------

 POW +0


--- FIRE ZAUBER --------------------------------------------------------------

 POW +0


--- RUSTY MUSCLE -------------------------------------------------------------

 POW +0


--- ZX ZAUBERTECH1 -----------------------------------------------------------

 POW +0


--- VOLLEYBALL ---------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +8


--- ICE ZAUBER ---------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +8


--- ZX ZAUBERTECHZ -----------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +10


--- DWARF PRIDE --------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +15


--- THUNDER ZAUBER -----------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +20


--- MITHRIL'BRASTER ----------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +20


--- B-BALL -------------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +26


--- BATTLESTECH GUN ----------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +30


--- TIME ZAUBER --------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +32


--- DWARF WARHAMMER ----------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +33


--- ZX MODELX571X ------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +36


--- SPIKED B-BALL ------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +38


--- DWARFBANE ----------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +43


--- HELL ZAUBER --------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +44
 BRAIN +3


--- SNAIL ZAUBER -------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +48
 GUARD +20
 BRAIN +4


--- MYSTIC B-BALL ------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +54


--- BLOODY ZAUBER ------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +60
 BRAIN +3


--- DWARFSTEAR ---------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +63
 GUARD +10


--- EGYPTIAN GUN -------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +70


--- F.I.N.A.L. G.U.N. --------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +72
 SPEED +5
 BRAIN +10


--- DWARFTEAR ----------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +88
 GUARD +5


--- H/S BALL -----------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +80


--- HELL B-BALL --------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +90


==============================================================================
 ARMOR                                                                  [0702]
==============================================================================

--- ROBE ---------------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +2


--- RAGS ---------------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +3


--- JACKET -------------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +5


--- JERSEY -------------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +9


--- REFEREE UNIFORM ----------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +14


--- CYBER-TUNIC --------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +16


--- TRENCHCOAT ---------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +17


--- ULTIMATE WRISTBAND -------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +19


--- ZAUBERMANCER GARB --------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +24


--- MITHRIL JERSEY -----------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +26


--- TEK-SKELETON -------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +31


--- FALCON JOHDPURS ----------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +34


--- SHREKMONO ----------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +36


--- TUPPERWARE ARMOR ---------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +45


==============================================================================
 BLING                                                                  [0703]
==============================================================================

--- ACE BANDAGE --------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +7


--- ATHLETIC SUPPORTER -------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +32


--- BAPES --------------------------------------------------------------------

 SPEED +2


--- BACKWARDS CAP ------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +3


--- CYBER GAUNTLET -----------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +19


--- FACEMASK -----------------------------------------------------------------

 GUARD +20


--- GOGGLES ------------------------------------------------------------------

 BRAIN +14


--- MAREEN'S RING ------------------------------------------------------------

 SPEED +1


--- NIKES --------------------------------------------------------------------

 SPEED +14


--- PUMPS --------------------------------------------------------------------

 SPEED +8


--- SUNGLASSES ---------------------------------------------------------------

 BRAIN +2


--- SWEATBAND ----------------------------------------------------------------

 BRAIN +6


--- WRIST BRACE --------------------------------------------------------------

 POWER +6


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

[8] ITEMS                                                               [0800]

==============================================================================


--- ALCOHOL ------------------------------------------------------------------

 Cures Aspergers


--- BBALL JUICE --------------------------------------------------------------

 Heals VP by 99%


--- BBALL SHARD --------------------------------------------------------------

 Heals VP by 50%


--- BBALL TEAR ---------------------------------------------------------------

 Heals BP by 100%


--- CHICKEN DEW --------------------------------------------------------------

 Revives character with 100% VP


--- CHICKEN FRY --------------------------------------------------------------

 Revives character with 100% VP and BP


--- CHUP ---------------------------------------------------------------------

 Cures Glaucoma


--- ECTO COOLER --------------------------------------------------------------

 Heals VP by 66%


--- ECTO COOLER? -------------------------------------------------------------

 Heals VP and BP by 20%


--- FSTONE MVITAMIN ----------------------------------------------------------

 Cures Parkinsons


--- GATORADE GUM -------------------------------------------------------------

 Permanently raises VP by 25


--- GENIE LAMP ---------------------------------------------------------------

 Shaped less like a lamp and more like a boom box...


--- GOLDEN POTATO ------------------------------------------------------------

 Summons a legendary potato in battle...


--- GUN'S STICKER ------------------------------------------------------------

 I Love Gun's Sticker. Labeled 1 of 1 in crayon


--- INSULIN ------------------------------------------------------------------

 Cures Diabetes


--- IVORY'S BROMIDE ----------------------------------------------------------

 A bromide of Ivory Latta


--- MYSTERIOUS POTION --------------------------------------------------------

 Permanantly raises VP by 50


--- PROTEIN PASTE ------------------------------------------------------------

 Heals VP by 33%


--- RAGS ---------------------------------------------------------------------

 Heals VP by 66%


--- SHREKMONO PICCIE ---------------------------------------------------------

 A photograph of the legendary kimono


--- STEROID ------------------------------------------------------------------

 Revives character with 50% VP


--- TOBACCO ------------------------------------------------------------------

 Cures all status effects


--- TURKEY FEATHER -----------------------------------------------------------

 Zalatar's precious turkey feather


______________________________________________________________________________
==============================================================================

[9] THANKS/CREDITS                                                      [0900]

==============================================================================

Of course, this guide couldn't have been made without some extra help. Here is
a shoutout to everyone who made this FAQ possible:

 CJayC: For being an awesome host of an awesome site.

 Eternal Czar Smapdi: For being the best co-author anyone could have, and for
                     being yourself.

 Shotgunnova: Your FAQ for the game is great, and it definitely helped me out
              in some sticky situations. Good job on it man.

 FESBians: Because you're cool.

 You: For reading this FAQ.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 LEGAL
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This document is copyright (c) DomZ Ninja 2008-2013.

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 * Super Cheats - http://www.supercheats.com
 * Neoseeker    - http://www.neoseeker.com
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The latest update of this document can always be found on GameFAQs.

Other sites may use this document, but only with my permission. If you see
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If you have any questions, comments, or anything that you would like to add to
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"If everything could ever feel this real forever, if anything could ever feel
this good again"
- Foo Fighters
______________________________________________________________________________
                                                               END OF DOCUMENT


