Leonid Andreyev: Satan's Diary.txt 352 KB

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  1. The Project Gutenberg EBook of Satan's Diary, by Leonid Andreyev
  2. This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
  3. almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
  4. re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
  5. with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
  6. Title: Satan's Diary
  7. Author: Leonid Andreyev
  8. Release Date: May 8, 2013 [EBook #42665]
  9. Language: English
  10. *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SATAN'S DIARY ***
  11. Produced by Dianna Adair, Richard Hulse and the Online
  12. Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
  13. file was produced from images generously made available
  14. by The Internet Archive)
  15. _Satan's Diary_
  16. _SATAN'S DIARY_
  17. BY
  18. LEONID ANDREYEV
  19. _Authorized Translation_
  20. WITH A PREFACE BY
  21. HERMAN BERNSTEIN
  22. BONI AND LIVERIGHT
  23. PUBLISHERS NEW YORK
  24. COPYRIGHT, 1920, BY
  25. BONI & LIVERIGHT, INC.
  26. _Printed in the United States of America_
  27. PREFACE
  28. "Satan's Diary," Leonid Andreyev's last work, was completed by the
  29. great Russian a few days before he died in Finland, in September,
  30. 1919. But a few years ago the most popular and successful of Russian
  31. writers, Andreyev died almost penniless, a sad, tragic figure,
  32. disillusioned, broken-hearted over the tragedy of Russia.
  33. A year ago Leonid Andreyev wrote me that he was eager to come to
  34. America, to study this country and familiarize Americans with the
  35. fate of his unfortunate countrymen. I arranged for his visit to this
  36. country and informed him of this by cable. But on the very day I
  37. sent my cable the sad news came from Finland announcing that Leonid
  38. Andreyev died of heart failure.
  39. In "Satan's Diary" Andreyev summed up his boundless disillusionment
  40. in an absorbing satire on human life. Fearlessly and mercilessly
  41. he hurled the falsehoods and hypocrisies into the face of life. He
  42. portrayed Satan coming to this earth to amuse himself and play. Having
  43. assumed the form of an American multi-millionaire, Satan set out on a
  44. tour through Europe in quest of amusement and adventure. Before him
  45. passed various forms of spurious virtues, hypocrisies, the ruthless
  46. cruelty of man and the often deceptive innocence of woman. Within
  47. a short time Satan finds himself outwitted, deceived, relieved of
  48. his millions, mocked, humiliated, beaten by man in his own devilish
  49. devices.
  50. The story of Andreyev's beginning as a writer is best told in his
  51. autobiography which he gave me in 1908.
  52. * * * * *
  53. "I was born," he said, "in Oryol, in 1871, and studied there at the
  54. gymnasium. I studied poorly; while in the seventh class I was for a
  55. whole year known as the worst student, and my mark for conduct was
  56. never higher than 4, sometimes 3. The most pleasant time I spent at
  57. school, which I recall to this day with pleasure, was recess time
  58. between lessons, and also the rare occasions when I was sent out from
  59. the classroom.... The sunbeams, the free sunbeams, which penetrated
  60. some cleft and which played with the dust in the hallway--all this was
  61. so mysterious, so interesting, so full of a peculiar, hidden meaning.
  62. "When I studied at the gymnasium my father, an engineer, died. As
  63. a university student I was in dire need. During my first course in
  64. St. Petersburg I even starved--not so much out of real necessity as
  65. because of my youth, inexperience, and my inability to utilize the
  66. unnecessary parts of my costume. I am to this day ashamed to think
  67. that I went two days without food at a time when I had two or three
  68. pairs of trousers and two overcoats which I could have sold.
  69. "It was then that I wrote my first story--about a starving student.
  70. I cried when I wrote it, and the editor, who returned my manuscript,
  71. laughed. That story of mine remained unpublished.... In 1894, in
  72. January, I made an unsuccessful attempt to kill myself by shooting. As
  73. a result of this unsuccessful attempt I was forced by the authorities
  74. into religious penitence, and I contracted heart trouble, though not
  75. of a serious nature, yet very annoying. During this time I made one or
  76. two unsuccessful attempts at writing; I devoted myself with greater
  77. pleasure and success to painting, which I loved from childhood on. I
  78. made portraits to order at 3 and 5 rubles a piece.
  79. "In 1897 I received my diploma and became an assistant attorney, but
  80. I was at the very outset sidetracked. I was offered a position on
  81. _The Courier_, for which I was to report court proceedings. I did not
  82. succeed in getting any practice as a lawyer. I had only one case and
  83. lost it at every point.
  84. "In 1898 I wrote my first story--for the Easter number--and since that
  85. time I have devoted myself exclusively to literature. Maxim Gorky
  86. helped me considerably in my literary work by his always practical
  87. advice and suggestions."
  88. * * * * *
  89. Andreyev's first steps in literature, his first short stories,
  90. attracted but little attention at the time of their appearance. It
  91. was only when Countess Tolstoy, the wife of Leo Tolstoy, in a letter
  92. to the _Novoye Vremya_, came out in "defense of artistic purity and
  93. moral power in contemporary literature," declaring that Russian
  94. society, instead of buying, reading and making famous the works of the
  95. Andreyevs, should "rise against such filth with indignation," that
  96. almost everybody who knew how to read in Russia turned to the little
  97. volume of the young writer.
  98. In her attack upon Andreyev, Countess Tolstoy said as follows:
  99. * * * * *
  100. "The poor new writers, like Andreyev, succeeded only in concentrating
  101. their attention on the filthy point of human degradation and uttered a
  102. cry to the undeveloped, half-intelligent reading public, inviting them
  103. to see and to examine the decomposed corpse of human degradation and
  104. to close their eyes to God's wonderful, vast world, with the beauties
  105. of nature, with the majesty of art, with the lofty yearnings of the
  106. human soul, with the religious and moral struggles and the great
  107. ideals of goodness--even with the downfall, misfortunes and weaknesses
  108. of such people as Dostoyevsky depicted.... In describing all these
  109. every true artist should illumine clearly before humanity not the side
  110. of filth and vice, but should struggle against them by illumining the
  111. highest ideals of good, truth, and the triumph over evil, weakness,
  112. and the vices of mankind.... I should like to cry out loudly to the
  113. whole world in order to help those unfortunate people whose wings,
  114. given to each of them for high flights toward the understanding of
  115. the spiritual light, beauty, kindness, and God, are clipped by these
  116. Andreyevs."
  117. This letter of Countess Tolstoy called forth a storm of protest in the
  118. Russian press, and, strange to say, the representatives of the fair
  119. sex were among the warmest defenders of the young author. Answering
  120. the attack, many women, in their letters to the press, pointed out
  121. that the author of "Anna Karenina" had been abused in almost the
  122. same manner for his "Kreutzer Sonata," and that Tolstoy himself had
  123. been accused of exerting just such an influence as the Countess
  124. attributed to Andreyev over the youth of Russia. Since the publication
  125. of Countess Tolstoy's condemnation, Andreyev has produced a series
  126. of masterpieces, such as "The Life of Father Vassily," a powerful
  127. psychological study; "Red Laughter," a war story, "written with the
  128. blood of Russia;" "The Life of Man," a striking morality presentation
  129. in five acts; "Anathema," his greatest drama; and "The Seven Who Were
  130. Hanged," in which the horrors of Russian life under the Tsar were
  131. delineated with such beautiful simplicity and power that Turgenev, or
  132. Tolstoy himself, would have signed his name to this masterpiece.
  133. Thus the first accusations against Andreyev were disarmed by his
  134. artistic productions, permeated with sincere, profound love for
  135. all that is pure in life. Dostoyevsky and Maupassant depicted more
  136. subjects, such as that treated in "The Abyss," than Andreyev. But with
  137. them these stories are lost in the great mass of their other works,
  138. while in Andreyev, who at that time had as yet produced but a few
  139. short stories, works like "The Abyss" stood out in bold relief.
  140. I recall my first meeting with Leonid Andreyev in 1908, two weeks
  141. after my visit to Count Leo Tolstoy at Yasnaya Polyana. At that time
  142. he had already become the most popular Russian writer, his popularity
  143. having overshadowed even that of Maxim Gorky.
  144. As I drove from Terioki to Andreyev's house, along the dust-covered
  145. road, the stern and taciturn little Finnish driver suddenly broke the
  146. silence by saying to me in broken Russian:
  147. "Andreyev is a good writer.... Although he is a Russian, he is a very
  148. good man. He is building a beautiful house here in Finland, and he
  149. gives employment to many of our people."
  150. We were soon at the gate of Andreyev's beautiful villa--a fantastic
  151. structure, weird-looking, original in design, something like the
  152. conception of the architect in the "Life of Man."
  153. "My son is out rowing with his wife in the Gulf of Finland,"
  154. Andreyev's mother told me. "They will be back in half an hour."
  155. As I waited I watched the seething activity everywhere on Andreyev's
  156. estate. In Yasnaya Polyana, the home of Count Tolstoy, everything
  157. seemed long established, fixed, well-regulated, serenely beautiful.
  158. Andreyev's estate was astir with vigorous life. Young, strong men were
  159. building the House of Man. More than thirty of them were working on
  160. the roof and in the yard, and a little distance away, in the meadows,
  161. young women and girls, bright-eyed and red faced, were haying. Youth,
  162. strength, vigor everywhere, and above all the ringing laughter of
  163. little children at play. I could see from the window the "Black Little
  164. River," which sparkled in the sun hundreds of feet below. The constant
  165. noise of the workmen's axes and hammers was so loud that I did not
  166. notice when Leonid Andreyev entered the room where I was waiting for
  167. him.
  168. "Pardon my manner of dressing," he said, as we shook hands. "In the
  169. summer I lead a lazy life, and do not write a line. I am afraid I am
  170. forgetting even to sign my name."
  171. I had seen numerous photographs of Leonid Andreyev, but he did not
  172. look like any of them. Instead of a pale-faced, sickly-looking young
  173. man, there stood before me a strong, handsome, well-built man, with
  174. wonderful eyes. He wore a grayish blouse, black, wide pantaloons up to
  175. his knees, and no shoes or stockings.
  176. We soon spoke of Russian literature at the time, particularly of the
  177. drama.
  178. "We have no real drama in Russia," said Andreyev. "Russia has not yet
  179. produced anything that could justly be called a great drama. Perhaps
  180. 'The Storm,' by Ostrovsky, is the only Russian play that may be
  181. classed as a drama. Tolstoy's plays cannot be placed in this category.
  182. Of the later writers, Anton Chekhov came nearest to giving real dramas
  183. to Russia, but, unfortunately, he was taken from us in the prime of
  184. his life."
  185. "What do you consider your own 'Life of Man' and 'To the Stars'?" I
  186. asked.
  187. "They are not dramas; they are merely presentations in so many acts,"
  188. answered Andreyev, and, after some hesitation, added: "I have not
  189. written any dramas, but it is possible that I will write one." At
  190. this point Andreyev's wife came in, dressed in a Russian blouse. The
  191. conversation turned to America, and to the treatment accorded to Maxim
  192. Gorky in New York.
  193. "When I was a child I loved America," remarked Andreyev. "Perhaps
  194. Cooper and Mayne Reid, my favorite authors in my childhood days, were
  195. responsible for this. I was always planning to run away to America. I
  196. am anxious even now to visit America, but I am afraid--I may get as
  197. bad a reception as my friend Gorky got."
  198. He laughed as he glanced at his wife. After a brief pause, he said:
  199. "The most remarkable thing about the Gorky incident is that while in
  200. his stories and articles about America Gorky wrote nothing but the
  201. very worst that could be said about that country he never told me
  202. anything but the very best about America. Some day he will probably
  203. describe his impressions of America as he related them to me."
  204. It was a very warm day. The sun was burning mercilessly in the large
  205. room. Mme. Andreyev suggested that it would be more pleasant to go
  206. down to a shady place near the Black Little River.
  207. On the way down the hill Andreyev inquired about Tolstoy's health and
  208. was eager to know his views on contemporary matters.
  209. "If Tolstoy were young now he would have been with us," he said.
  210. We stepped into a boat, Mme. Andreyev took up the oars and began to
  211. row. We resumed our conversation.
  212. "The decadent movement in Russian literature," said Andreyev, "started
  213. to make itself felt about ten or fifteen years ago. At first it was
  214. looked upon as mere child's play, as a curiosity. Now it is regarded
  215. more seriously. Although I do not belong to that school, I do not
  216. consider it worthless. The fault with it is that it has but few
  217. talented people in its ranks, and these few direct the criticism of
  218. the decadent school. They are the writers and also the critics. And
  219. they praise whatever they write. Of the younger men, Alexander Blok
  220. is perhaps the most gifted. But in Russia our clothes change quickly
  221. nowadays, and it is hard to tell what the future will tell us--in our
  222. literature and our life.
  223. "How do I picture to myself this future?" continued Andreyev, in
  224. answer to a question of mine. "I cannot know even the fate and future
  225. of my own child; how can I foretell the future of such a great country
  226. as Russia? But I believe that the Russian people have a great future
  227. before them--in life and in literature--for they are a great people,
  228. rich in talents, kind and freedom-loving. Savage as yet, it is true,
  229. very ignorant, but on the whole they do not differ so much from other
  230. European nations."
  231. Suddenly the author of "Red Laughter" looked upon me intently, and
  232. asked: "How is it that the European and the American press has
  233. ceased to interest itself in our struggle for emancipation? Is it
  234. possible that the reaction in Russia appeals to them more than our
  235. people's yearnings for freedom, simply because the reaction happens
  236. to be stronger at the present time? In that event, they are probably
  237. sympathizing with the Shah of Persia! Russia to-day is a lunatic
  238. asylum. The people who are hanged are not the people who should be
  239. hanged. Everywhere else honest people are at large and only criminals
  240. are in prison. In Russia the honest people are in prison and the
  241. criminals are at large. The Russian Government is composed of a band
  242. of criminals, and Nicholas II is not the greatest of them. There are
  243. still greater ones. I do not hold that the Russian Government alone
  244. is guilty of these horrors. The European nations and the Americans
  245. are just as much to blame, for they look on in silence while the most
  246. despicable crimes are committed. The murderer usually has at least
  247. courage, while he who looks on silently when murder is committed
  248. is a contemptible weakling. England and France, who have become so
  249. friendly to our Government, are surely watching with compassion the
  250. poor Shah, who hangs the constitutional leaders. Perhaps I do not know
  251. international law. Perhaps I am not speaking as a practical man. One
  252. nation must not interfere with the internal affairs of another nation.
  253. But why do they interfere with our movement for freedom? France
  254. helped the Russian Government in its war against the people by giving
  255. money to Russia. Germany also helped--secretly. In well-regulated
  256. countries each individual must behave decently. When a man murders,
  257. robs, dishonors women he is thrown into prison. But when the Russian
  258. Government is murdering helpless men and women and children the other
  259. Governments look on indifferently. And yet they speak of God. If this
  260. had happened in the Middle Ages a crusade would have been started by
  261. civilized peoples who would have marched to Russia to free the women
  262. and the children from the claws of the Government."
  263. Andreyev became silent. His wife kept rowing for some time slowly,
  264. without saying a word. We soon reached the shore and returned silently
  265. to the house. That was twelve years ago.
  266. I met him several times after that. The last time I visited him in
  267. Petrograd during the July riots in 1917.
  268. * * * * *
  269. A literary friend thus describes the funeral of Leonid Andreyev, which
  270. gives a picture of the tragedy of Russia:
  271. "In the morning a decision had to be reached as to the day of the
  272. funeral. It was necessary to see to the purchase and the delivery of
  273. the coffin from Viborg, and to undertake all those unavoidable, hard
  274. duties which are so painful to the family.
  275. "It appeared that the Russian exiles living in our village had no
  276. permits from the Finnish Government to go to Viborg, nor the money for
  277. that expense. It further appeared that the family of Leonid Andreyev
  278. had left at their disposal only one hundred marks (about 6 dollars),
  279. which the doctor who had come from the station after Andreyev's death
  280. declined to take from the widow for his visit.
  281. "This was all the family possessed. It was necessary to charge a
  282. Russian exile living in a neighboring village, who had a pass for
  283. Viborg, with the sad commission of finding among some wealthy people
  284. in Viborg who had known Andreyev the means required for the funeral.
  285. "On the following day mass was read. Floral tributes and wreaths from
  286. Viborg, with black inscriptions made hastily in ink on white ribbons,
  287. began to arrive. They were all from private individuals. The local
  288. refugees brought garlands of autumn foliage, bouquets of late flowers.
  289. Their children laid their carefully woven, simple and touching little
  290. childish wreaths at the foot of the coffin. Leonid Andreyev's widow
  291. did not wish to inter the body in foreign soil and it was decided,
  292. temporarily, until burial in native ground, to leave his body in the
  293. little mortuary in the park on the estate of a local woman landowner.
  294. "The day of the funeral was not widely known. The need for special
  295. permits to travel deprived many of the opportunity to attend. In
  296. this way it happened that only a very small group of people followed
  297. the body from the house to the mortuary. None of his close friends
  298. was there. They, like his brothers, sister, one of his sons, were
  299. in Russia. Neighbors, refugees, acquaintances of the last two years
  300. with whom his exile had accidentally thrown him into contact, people
  301. who had no connection with Russian literature,--almost all alien in
  302. spirit--such was the little group of Russians that followed the coffin
  303. of Leonid Andreyev to its temporary resting place.
  304. "It was a tragic funeral, this funeral in exile, of a writer who is
  305. so dearly loved by the whole intellectual class of Russia; whom the
  306. younger generation of Russia acclaimed with such enthusiasm.
  307. "Meanwhile he rests in a foreign land, waiting--waiting for Free
  308. Russia to demand back his ashes, and pay tribute to his genius."
  309. Among his last notes, breathing deep anguish and despair, found on his
  310. desk, were the following lines:
  311. "Revolution is just as unsatisfactory a means of settling disputes
  312. as is war. If it be impossible to vanquish a hostile idea except by
  313. smashing the skull in which it is contained; if it be impossible to
  314. appease a hostile heart except by piercing it with a bayonet, then, of
  315. course, fight...."
  316. Leonid Andreyev died of a broken heart. But the spirit of his genius
  317. is deathless.
  318. HERMAN BERNSTEIN.
  319. _New York, September._
  320. _Satan's Diary_
  321. SATAN'S DIARY
  322. January 18.
  323. On board the _Atlantic_.
  324. This is exactly the tenth day since I have become human and am leading
  325. this earthly life.
  326. My loneliness is very great. I am not in need of friends, but I must
  327. speak of Myself and I have no one to speak to. Thoughts alone are not
  328. sufficient, and they will not become quite clear, precise and exact
  329. until I express them in words. It is necessary to arrange them in a
  330. row, like soldiers or telephone poles, to lay them out like a railway
  331. track, to throw across bridges and viaducts, to construct barrows and
  332. enclosures, to indicate stations in certain places--and only then will
  333. everything become clear. This laborious engineering work, I think,
  334. they call logic and consistency, and is essential to those who desire
  335. to be wise. It is not essential to all others. They may wander about
  336. as they please.
  337. The work is slow, difficult and repulsive for one who is accustomed
  338. to--I do not know what to call it--to embracing all in one breath and
  339. expressing all in a single breath. It is not in vain that men respect
  340. their thinkers so much, and it is not in vain that these unfortunate
  341. thinkers, if they are honest and conscientious in this process of
  342. construction, as ordinary engineers, end in insane asylums. I am but a
  343. few days on this earth and more than once have the yellow walls of the
  344. insane asylum and its luring open door flashed before my eyes.
  345. Yes, it is extremely difficult and irritates one's "nerves." I have
  346. just now wasted so much of the ship's fine stationery to express a
  347. little ordinary thought on the inadequacy of man's words and logic.
  348. What will it be necessary to waste to give expression to the great
  349. and the unusual? I want to warn you, my earthly reader, at the very
  350. outset, not to gape in astonishment. The _extraordinary cannot be
  351. expressed_ in the language of your grumbling. If you do not believe
  352. me, go to the nearest insane asylum and listen to the inmates: they
  353. have all realized _Something_ and wanted to give expression to it. And
  354. now you can hear the roar and rumble of these wrecked engines, their
  355. wheels revolving and hissing in the air, and you can see with what
  356. difficulty they manage to hold intact the rapidly dissolving features
  357. of their astonished faces!
  358. I see you are all ready to ply me with questions, now that you
  359. learned that I am Satan in human form: it is so fascinating! Whence
  360. did I come? What are the ways of Hell? Is there immortality there,
  361. and, also, what is the price of coal at the stock exchange of Hell?
  362. Unfortunately, my dear reader, despite my desire to the contrary,
  363. if I had such a desire, I am powerless to satisfy your very proper
  364. curiosity. I could have composed for your benefit one of those funny
  365. little stories about horny and hairy devils, which appeal so much
  366. to your meagre imagination, but you have had enough of them already
  367. and I do not want to lie so rudely and ungracefully. I will lie to
  368. you elsewhere, when you least expect it, and that will be far more
  369. interesting for both of us.
  370. And the truth--how am I to tell it when even my Name cannot be
  371. expressed in your tongue? You have called me Satan and I accept the
  372. name, just as I would have accepted any other: Be it so--I am Satan.
  373. But my real name sounds quite different, quite different! It has an
  374. extraordinary sound and try as I may I cannot force it into your
  375. narrow ear without tearing it open together with your brain: Be it
  376. so--I am Satan. And nothing more.
  377. And you yourself are to blame for this, my friend: why is there so
  378. little understanding in your reason? Your reason is like a beggar's
  379. sack, containing only crusts of stale bread, while it is necessary
  380. to have something more than bread. You have but two conceptions of
  381. existence: life and death. How, then, can I reveal to you the _third_?
  382. All your existence is an absurdity only because you do not have this
  383. _third conception_. And where can I get it for you? To-day I am human,
  384. even as you. In my skull is your brain. In my mouth are your cubic
  385. words, jostling one another about with their sharp corners, and I
  386. cannot tell you of the Extraordinary.
  387. If I were to tell you that there are no devils I would lie. But if
  388. I say that such creatures do exist I also deceive you. You see how
  389. difficult it is, how absurd, my friend!
  390. I can also tell you but little that you would understand of how I
  391. assumed the human form, with which I began my earthly life ten days
  392. ago. First of all, forget about your favorite, hairy, horny, winged
  393. devils, who breathe fire, transform fragments of earthenware into gold
  394. and change old men into fascinating youths, and having done all this
  395. and prattled much nonsense, they disappear suddenly through a wall.
  396. Remember: when _we_, want to visit your earth _we_ must always become
  397. human. Why this is so you will learn after your death. Meanwhile
  398. remember: I am a human being now like yourself. There is not the foul
  399. smell of a goat about me but the fragrance of perfume, and you need
  400. not fear to shake My hand lest I may scratch you with my nails: I
  401. manicure them just as you do.
  402. But how did it all happen? Very simply. When I first conceived the
  403. desire to visit this earth I selected as the most satisfactory lodging
  404. a 38-year-old American billionaire, Mr. Henry Wondergood. I killed
  405. him at night,--of course, not in the presence of witnesses. But you
  406. cannot bring me to court despite this confession, because the American
  407. is ALIVE, and we both greet you with one respectful bow: I and
  408. Wondergood. He simply rented his empty place to me. You understand?
  409. And not all of it either, the devil take him! And, to my great regret
  410. I can _return_ only through the same door which leads you too to
  411. liberty: through death.
  412. This is the most important thing. You may understand something of what
  413. I may have to say later on, although to speak to you of such matters
  414. in your language is like trying to conceal a mountain in a vest pocket
  415. or to empty Niagara with a thimble. Imagine, for example, that you,
  416. my dear King of Nature, should want to come closer to the ants, and
  417. that by some miracle you became a real little ant,--then you may have
  418. some conception of that gulf which separates Me now from what I was.
  419. No, still more! Imagine that you were a sound and have become a mere
  420. symbol--a musical mark on paper.... No, still worse!--No comparisons
  421. can make clear to you that terrible gulf whose bottom even I do not
  422. see as yet. Or, perhaps, there is no bottom there at all.
  423. Think of it: for two days, after leaving New York, I suffered from
  424. seasickness! This sounds queer to you, who are accustomed to wallow
  425. in your own dirt? Well, I--I have also wallowed in it but it was not
  426. queer at all. I only smiled once in thinking that _it_ was not I, but
  427. Wondergood, and said:
  428. "Roll on, Wondergood, roll on!"
  429. There is another question to which you probably want an answer: Why
  430. did I come to this earth and accept such an unprofitable exchange: to
  431. be transformed from Satan, "the mighty, immortal chieftain and ruler"
  432. into you? I am tired of seeking words that cannot be found. I will
  433. answer you in English, French, Italian or German--languages we both
  434. understand well. I have grown lonesome in Hell and I have come upon
  435. the earth to lie and play.
  436. You know what ennui is. And as for falsehood, you know it well too.
  437. And as for _play_--you can judge it to a certain extent by your own
  438. theaters and celebrated actors. Perhaps you yourself are playing a
  439. little rôle in Parliament, at home, or in your church. If you are,
  440. you may understand something of the _satisfaction_ of play. And, if
  441. in addition, you are familiar with the multiplication table, then
  442. multiply the delight and joy of play into any considerable figure and
  443. you will get an idea of My enjoyment, of My play. No, imagine that you
  444. are an ocean wave, which plays eternally and lives only in play--take
  445. this wave, for example, which I see outside the porthole now and which
  446. wants to lift our "Atlantic"...but, here I am again seeking words
  447. and comparisons!
  448. I simply want to play. At present I am still an unknown actor, a
  449. modest débutante, but I hope to become no less a celebrity than your
  450. own Garrick or Aldrich, after I have played what I please. I am proud,
  451. selfish and even, if you please, vain and boastful. You know what
  452. vanity is, when you crave the praise and plaudits even of a fool? Then
  453. I entertain the brazen idea that I am a genius. Satan is known for his
  454. brazenness. And so, imagine, that I have grown weary of Hell where
  455. all these hairy and horny rogues play and lie no worse than I do, and
  456. that I am no longer satisfied with the laurels of Hell, in which I but
  457. perceive no small measure of base flattery and downright stupidity.
  458. But I have heard of you, my earthly friend; I have heard that you
  459. are wise, tolerably honest, properly incredulous, responsive to the
  460. problems of eternal art and that you yourself play and lie so badly
  461. that you might appreciate the playing of others: not in vain have you
  462. so many _great actors_. And so I have come. You understand?
  463. My stage is the earth and the nearest scene for which I am now bound
  464. is Rome, the Eternal City, as it is called here, in your profound
  465. conception of eternity and other simple matters. I have not yet
  466. selected my company (would you not like to join it?). But I believe
  467. that _Fate_ and _Chance_, to whom I am now subservient, like all your
  468. earthly things, will realize my unselfish motives and will send me
  469. worthy partners. Old Europe is so rich in talents! I believe that
  470. I shall find a keen and appreciative audience in Europe, too. I
  471. confess that I first thought of going to the East, which some of my
  472. compatriots made their scene of activity some time ago with no small
  473. measure of success, but the East is too credulous and is inclined
  474. too much to poison and the ballet. Its gods are ludicrous. The East
  475. still reeks too much of hairy animals. Its lights and shadows are
  476. barbarously crude and too bright to make it worth while for a refined
  477. artist as I am to go into that crowded, foul circus tent. Ah, my
  478. friend, I am so vain that I even begin this Diary not without the
  479. secret intention of impressing you with my modesty in the rôle of
  480. _seeker_ of words and comparisons. I hope you will not take advantage
  481. of my frankness and cease believing me.
  482. Are there any other questions? Of the play itself I have no clear idea
  483. yet. It will be composed by the same impresario who will assemble
  484. the actors--_Fate_. My modest rôle, as a beginning, will be that of
  485. a man who so loves his fellow beings that he is willing to give them
  486. everything, his soul and his money. Of course, you have not forgotten
  487. that I am a billionaire? I have three billion dollars. Sufficient--is
  488. it not?--for one spectacular performance. One more detail before I
  489. conclude this page.
  490. I have with me, sharing my fate, a certain Irwin Toppi, my
  491. secretary,--a most worthy person in his black frock coat and silk
  492. top hat, his long nose resembling an unripened pear and his smoothly
  493. shaven, pastor-like face. I would not be surprised to find a prayer
  494. book in his pocket. My Toppi came upon this earth from _there_, i.e.
  495. from Hell and by the same means as mine: he, too, assumed the human
  496. form and, it seems, quite successfully--the rogue is entirely immune
  497. from seasickness. However to be seasick one must have some brains
  498. and my Toppi is unusually stupid--even for this earth. Besides, he
  499. is impolite and ventures to offer advice. I am rather sorry that out
  500. of our entire wealth of material I did not select some one better,
  501. but I was impressed by his honesty and partial familiarity with the
  502. earth: it seemed more pleasant to enter upon this little jaunt with
  503. an experienced comrade. Quite a long time ago he once before assumed
  504. the human form and was so taken by religious sentiments that--think
  505. of it!--he entered a Franciscan monastery, lived there to a ripe old
  506. age and died peacefully under the name of Brother Vincent. His ashes
  507. became the object of veneration for believers--not a bad career for a
  508. fool of a devil. No sooner did he enter upon this trip with Me than
  509. he began to sniff about for incense--an incurable habit! You will
  510. probably like him.
  511. And now enough. Get thee hence, my friend. I wish to be alone. Your
  512. shallow reflection upon this wall wears upon me. I wish to be alone
  513. or only with this Wondergood who has leased his abode to Me and seems
  514. to have gotten the best of Me somehow or other. The sea is calm. I
  515. am no longer nauseated but I am afraid of something. I am afraid! I
  516. fear this darkness which they call night and descends upon the ocean:
  517. here, in the cabin there is still some light, but there, on deck,
  518. there is terrible darkness, and My eyes are quite helpless. These
  519. silly reflectors--they are worthless. They are able to reflect things
  520. by day but in the darkness they lose even this miserable power. Of
  521. course I shall get used to the darkness. I have already grown used to
  522. many things. But just now I am ill at ease and it is horrible to think
  523. that the mere turn of a key obsesses me with this blind ever present
  524. darkness. Whence does it come?
  525. And how brave men are with their dim reflectors: they see nothing
  526. and simply say: it is dark here, we must make a light! Then they
  527. themselves put it out and go to sleep. I regard these braves with
  528. a kind of cold wonder and I am seized with admiration. Or must one
  529. possess a great mind to appreciate horror, like Mine? You are not
  530. such a coward, Wondergood. You always bore the reputation of being a
  531. hardened man and a man of experience!
  532. There is one moment in the process of my assumption of the human
  533. form that I cannot recollect without horror. That was when for the
  534. first time I heard the beating of My heart. This regular, loud,
  535. metronome-like sound, which speaks as much of death as of life, filled
  536. me with the hitherto inexperienced sensation of horror. Men are always
  537. quarrelling about accounts, but how can they carry in their breasts
  538. _this_ counting machine, registering with the speed of a magician the
  539. fleeting seconds of life?
  540. At first I wanted to shout and to run back _below_, before I could
  541. grow accustomed to life, but here I looked at Toppi: this new-born
  542. fool was calmly brushing his top hat with the sleeve of his frock
  543. coat. I broke out into laughter and cried:
  544. "Toppi, the brush!"
  545. We both brushed ourselves while the counting machine in my breast was
  546. computing the seconds and, it seemed to me, adding on a few for good
  547. measure. Finally, hearing its brazen beating, I thought I might not
  548. have time enough to finish my toillette. I have been in a great hurry
  549. for some time. Just what it was I would not be able to complete I
  550. did not know, but for two days I was in a mad rush to eat and drink
  551. and even sleep: the counting machine was beating away while I lay in
  552. slumber!
  553. But I never rush now. I know that I will manage to get through and my
  554. moments seem inexhaustible. But the little machine keeps on beating
  555. just the same, like a drunken soldier at a drum. And how about the
  556. very moments it is using up now. Are they to be counted as equal to
  557. the great ones? Then I say it is all a fraud and I protest as a honest
  558. citizen of the United States and as a merchant.
  559. I do not feel well. Yet I would not repulse even a friend at this
  560. moment. Ah! In all the universe I am alone!
  561. February 7, 1914.
  562. Rome, Hotel "Internationale."
  563. I am driven mad whenever I am compelled to seize the club of a
  564. policeman to bring order in my brain: facts, to the right! thoughts,
  565. to the left! moods, to the rear--clear the road for His Highness,
  566. Conscience, which barely moves about upon its stilts. I am compelled
  567. to do this: otherwise there would be a riot, an abrecadebra, chaos.
  568. And so I call you to order, gentleman--facts and lady-thoughts. I
  569. begin.
  570. Night. Darkness. The air is balmy. There is a pleasant fragrance.
  571. Toppi is enchanted. We are in Italy. Our speeding train is approaching
  572. Rome. We are enjoying our soft couches when, suddenly, crash!
  573. Everything flies to the devil: the train has gone out of its mind. It
  574. is wrecked. I confess without shame that I am not very brave, that
  575. I was seized with terror and seemed to have lost consciousness. The
  576. lights were extinguished and with much labor I crawled out of the
  577. corner into which I had been hurled. I seemed to have forgotten the
  578. exit. There were only walls and corners. I felt something stinging and
  579. beating at Me, and all about nothing but darkness. Suddenly I felt a
  580. body beneath my feet. I stepped right upon the face. Only afterwards
  581. did I discover that the body was that of George, my lackey, killed
  582. outright. I shouted and my obliging Toppi came to my aid: he seized
  583. me by the arm and led me to an open window, as both exits had been
  584. barricaded by fragments of the car and baggage. I leaped out, but
  585. Toppi lingered behind. My knees were trembling. I was groaning but
  586. still he failed to appear. I shouted. Suddenly he reappeared at the
  587. window and shouted back:
  588. "What are you crying about? I am looking for our hats and your
  589. portfolio."
  590. A few moments later he returned and handed me my hat. He himself had
  591. his silk top hat on and carried the portfolio. I shook with laughter
  592. and said:
  593. "Young man, you have forgotten the umbrella!"
  594. But the old buffoon has no sense of humor. He replied seriously:
  595. "I do not carry an umbrella. And do you know, our George is dead and
  596. so is the chef."
  597. So, this fallen carcass which has no feelings and upon whose face one
  598. steps with impunity is our George! I was again seized with terror and
  599. suddenly my ears were pierced with groans, wild shrieks, whistlings
  600. and cries! All the sounds wherewith these braves wail when they are
  601. crushed. At first I was deafened. I heard nothing. The cars caught
  602. fire. The flames and smoke shot up into the air. The wounded began to
  603. groan and, without waiting for the flesh to roast, I darted like a
  604. flash into the field. What a leap!
  605. Fortunately the low hills of the Roman Campagna are very convenient
  606. for this kind of sport and I was no means behind in the line of
  607. runners. When, out of breath, I hurled myself upon the ground, it
  608. was no longer possible to hear or see anything. Only Toppi was
  609. approaching. But what a terrible thing this heart is! My face touched
  610. the earth. The earth was cool, firm, calm and here I liked it. It
  611. seemed as if it had restored my breath and put my heart back into its
  612. place. I felt easier. The stars above were calm. There was nothing
  613. for them to get excited about. They were not concerned with things
  614. below. They merely shine in triumph. That is their eternal ball. And
  615. at this brilliant ball the earth, clothed in darkness, appeared as an
  616. enchanting stranger in a black mask. (Not at all badly expressed? I
  617. trust that you, my reader, will be pleased: my style and my manners
  618. are improving!)
  619. I kissed Toppi in the darkness. I always kiss those I like in the
  620. darkness. And I said:
  621. "You are carrying your human form, Toppi, very well. I respect you.
  622. But what are we to do now? Those lights yonder in the sky--they are
  623. the lights of Rome. But they are too far away!"
  624. "Yes, it is Rome," affirmed Toppi, and raised his hand: "do you hear
  625. whistling?"
  626. From somewhere in the distance came the long-drawn, piercing,
  627. shrieking of locomotives. They were sounding the alarm.
  628. "Yes, they are whistling," I said and laughed.
  629. "They are whistling!" repeated Toppi smiling. He never laughs.
  630. But here again I began to feel uncomfortable. I was cold, lonely,
  631. quivering. In my feet there was still the sensation of treading upon
  632. corpses. I wanted to shake myself like a dog after a bath. You must
  633. understand me: it was the first time that I had seen and felt your
  634. corpse, my dear reader, and if you pardon me, it did not appeal to me
  635. at all. Why did it not protest when I walked over its face? George had
  636. such a beautiful young face and he carried himself with much dignity.
  637. Remember your face, too, may be trod upon. And will you, too, remain
  638. submissive?
  639. We did not proceed to Rome but went instead in search of the nearest
  640. night lodging. We walked long. We grew tired. We longed to drink, oh,
  641. how we longed to drink! And now, permit me to present to you my new
  642. friend, Signor Thomas Magnus and his beautiful daughter, Maria.
  643. At first we observed the faint flicker of a light. As we approached
  644. nearer we found a little house, its white walls gleaming through a
  645. thicket of dark cypress trees and shrubbery. There was a light in one
  646. of the windows, the rest were barricaded with shutters. The house had
  647. a stone fence, an iron gate, strong doors. And--silence. At first
  648. glance it all looked suspicious. Toppi knocked. Again silence. I
  649. knocked. Still silence. Finally there came a gruff voice, asking from
  650. behind the iron door:
  651. "Who are you? What do you want?"
  652. Hardly mumbling with his parched tongue, my brave Toppi narrated the
  653. story of the catastrophe and our escape. He spoke at length and then
  654. came the click of a lock and the door was opened. Following behind
  655. our austere and silent stranger we entered the house, passed through
  656. several dark and silent rooms, walked up a flight of creaking stairs
  657. into a brightly lighted room, apparently the stranger's workroom.
  658. There was much light, many books, with one open beneath a low lamp
  659. shaded by a simple, green globe. We had not noticed this light in the
  660. field. But what astonished me was the silence of the house. Despite
  661. the rather early hour not a move, not a sound, not a voice was to be
  662. heard.
  663. "Have a seat."
  664. We sat down and Toppi, now almost in pain, began again to narrate his
  665. story. But the strange host interrupted him:
  666. "Yes, a catastrophe. They often occur on our roads. Were there many
  667. victims?"
  668. Toppi continued his prattle and the host, while listening to him, took
  669. a revolver out of his pocket and hid it in a table drawer, adding
  670. carelessly:
  671. "This is not--a particularly quiet neighborhood. Well, please, remain
  672. here."
  673. For the first time he raised his dark eyebrows and his large dim eyes
  674. and studied us intently as if he were gazing upon something savage in
  675. a museum. It was an impolite and brazen stare. I arose and said:
  676. "I fear that we are not welcome here, Signor, and----"
  677. He stopped Me with an impatient and slightly sarcastic gesture.
  678. "Nonsense, you remain here. I will get you some wine and food. My
  679. servant is here in the daytime only, so allow me to wait on you. You
  680. will find the bathroom behind this door. Go wash and freshen up while
  681. I get the wine. Make yourself at home."
  682. While we ate and drank--with savage relish, I confess--this
  683. unsympathetic gentleman kept on reading a book as if there were no
  684. one else in the room, undisturbed by Toppi's munching and the dog's
  685. struggle with a bone. I studied my host carefully. Almost my height,
  686. his pale face bore an expression of weariness. He had a black, oily,
  687. bandit-like beard. But his brow was high and his nose betrayed good
  688. sense. How would you describe it? Well, here again I seek comparisons.
  689. Imagine the nose betraying the story of a great, passionate,
  690. extraordinary, secret life. It is beautiful and seems to have been
  691. made not out of muscle and cartilage, but out of--what do you call
  692. it?--out of thoughts and brazen desires. He seems quite brave too. But
  693. I was particularly attracted by his hands: very big, very white and
  694. giving the impression of self-control. I do not know why his hands
  695. attracted me so much. But suddenly I thought: how beautifully exact
  696. the number of fingers, exactly ten of them, ten thin, evil, wise,
  697. crooked fingers!
  698. I said politely:
  699. "Thank you, signor----"
  700. He replied:
  701. "My name is Magnus. Thomas Magnus. Have some wine? Americans?"
  702. I waited for Toppi to introduce me, according to the English custom,
  703. and I looked toward Magnus. One had to be an ignorant, illiterate
  704. animal not to know me.
  705. Toppi broke in:
  706. "Mr. Henry Wondergood of Illinois. His secretary, Irwin Toppi, your
  707. obedient servant. Yes, citizens of the United States."
  708. The old buffoon blurted out his tirade, evincing a thorough lack of
  709. pride, and Magnus--yes, he was a little startled. Billions, my friend,
  710. billions. He gazed at Me long and intently:
  711. "Mr. Wondergood? Henry Wondergood? Are you not, sir, that American
  712. billionaire who seeks to bestow upon humanity the benefits of his
  713. billions?"
  714. I modestly shook my head in the affirmative.
  715. "Yes, I am the gentleman."
  716. Toppi shook his head in affirmation--the ass:
  717. "Yes, we are the gentlemen."
  718. Magnus bowed and said with a tinge of irony in his voice:
  719. "Humanity is awaiting you, Mr. Wondergood. Judging by the Roman
  720. newspapers it is extremely impatient. But I must crave your pardon for
  721. this very modest meal: I did not know...."
  722. I seized his large, strangely warm hand and shaking it violently, in
  723. American fashion, I said:
  724. "Nonsense, Signor Magnus. I was a swine-herd before I became a
  725. billionaire, while you are a straightforward, honest and noble
  726. gentleman, whose hand I press with the utmost respect. The devil take
  727. it, not a single human face has yet aroused in me as much sympathy as
  728. yours!"
  729. Magnus said....
  730. Magnus said nothing! I cannot continue this: "I said," "he
  731. said,"--This cursed consistency is deadly to my inspiration. It
  732. transforms me into a silly romanticist of a boulevard sheet and makes
  733. me lie like a mediocrity. I have five senses. I am a complete human
  734. being and yet I speak only of the hearing. And how about the sight? I
  735. assure you it did not remain idle. And this sensation of the earth,
  736. of Italy, of My existence which I now perceive with a new and sweet
  737. strength! You imagine that all I did was to listen to wise Thomas
  738. Magnus. He speaks and I gaze, understand, answer, while I think: what
  739. a beautiful earth, what a beautiful Campagna di Roma! I persisted in
  740. penetrating the recesses of the house, into its locked silent rooms.
  741. With every moment my joy mounted at the thought that I am alive, that
  742. I can speak and play and, suddenly, I rather liked the idea of being
  743. human.
  744. I remember that I held out my card to Magnus. "Henry Wondergood." He
  745. was surprised, but laid the card politely on the table. I felt like
  746. implanting a kiss on his brow for this politeness, for the fact
  747. that he too was human. I, too, am human. I was particularly proud
  748. of my foot encased in a fine, tan leather shoe and I persisted in
  749. swinging it: swing on beautiful, human, American foot! I was extremely
  750. emotional that evening! I even wanted to weep: to look my host
  751. straight in the eyes and to squeeze out of my own eyes, so full of
  752. love and goodness, two little tears. I actually did it, for at that
  753. moment I felt a little pleasant sting in my nose, as if it had been
  754. hit by a spurt of lemonade. I observed that my two little tears made
  755. an impression upon Magnus.
  756. But Toppi!--While I experienced this wondrous poem of feeling human
  757. and even of weeping,--he slept like a dead one at the very same table.
  758. I was rather angered. This was really going too far. I wanted to shout
  759. at him, but Magnus restrained me:
  760. "He has had a good deal of excitement and is weary, Mr. Wondergood."
  761. The hour had really grown late. We had been talking and arguing with
  762. Magnus for two hours when Toppi fell asleep. I sent him off to bed
  763. while we continued to talk and drink for quite a while. I drank more
  764. wine, but Magnus restrained himself. There was a dimness about his
  765. face. I was beginning to develop an admiration for his grim and, at
  766. times, evil, secretive countenance. He said:
  767. "I believe in your altruistic passion, Mr. Wondergood. But I do not
  768. believe that you, a man of wisdom and of action, and, it seems to me,
  769. somewhat cold, could place any serious hopes upon your money----"
  770. "Three billion dollars--that is a mighty power, Magnus!"
  771. "Yes, three billion dollars, a mighty power, indeed," he agreed,
  772. rather unwillingly--"but what will you do with it?"
  773. I laughed.
  774. "You probably want to say what can this ignoramus of an American, this
  775. erstwhile swine-herd, who knows swine better than he knows men, do
  776. with the money?"
  777. "The first business helps the other," said Magnus.
  778. "I dare say you have but a slight opinion of this foolish
  779. philanthropist whose head has been turned by his gold," said I.
  780. "Yes, to be sure, what can I do? I can open another university in
  781. Chicago, or another maternity hospital in San Francisco, or another
  782. humanitarian reformatory in New York."
  783. "The latter would be a distinct work of mercy," quoth Magnus. "Do not
  784. gaze at me with such reproach, Mr. Wondergood: I am not jesting.
  785. You will find in me the same pure love for humanity which burns so
  786. fiercely in you."
  787. He was laughing at me and I felt pity for him: not to love people!
  788. Miserable, unfortunate Magnus. I could kiss his brow with great
  789. pleasure! Not to love people!
  790. "Yes, I do not love them," affirmed Magnus, "but I am glad that
  791. you do not intend to travel the conventional road of all American
  792. philanthropists. Your billions----"
  793. "Three billions, Magnus! One could build a nation on this money----"
  794. "Yes?----"
  795. "Or destroy a nation," said I. "With this gold, Magnus, one can start
  796. a war or a revolution----"
  797. "Yes?----"
  798. I actually succeeded in arousing his interest: his large white hands
  799. trembled slightly and in his eyes there gleamed for a moment a look of
  800. respect: "You, Wondergood, are not as foolish as I thought!" He arose,
  801. paced up and down the room, and halting before me asked sneeringly:
  802. "And you know exactly what your humanity needs most: the creation
  803. of a new or the destruction of the old state? War or peace? Rest or
  804. revolution? Who are you, Mr. Wondergood of Illinois, that you essay
  805. to solve _these_ problems? You had better keep on building your
  806. maternity hospitals and universities. That is far less dangerous work."
  807. I liked the man's hauteur. I bowed my head modestly and said:
  808. "You are right, Signor Magnus. Who am I, Henry Wondergood, to
  809. undertake the solution of these problems? But I do not intend to solve
  810. them. I merely indicate them. I indicate them and I seek the solution.
  811. I seek the solution and the man who can give it to me. I have never
  812. read a serious book carefully. I see you have quite a supply of books
  813. here. You are a misanthrope, Magnus. You are too much of a European
  814. not to be easily disillusioned in things, while we, young America,
  815. believe in humanity. A man must be created. You in Europe are bad
  816. craftsmen and have created a bad man. We shall create a better one.
  817. I beg your pardon for my frankness. As long as I was merely Henry
  818. Wondergood I devoted myself only to the creation of pigs--and my pigs,
  819. let me say to you, have been awarded no fewer medals and decorations
  820. than Field Marshal Moltke. But now I desire to create people."
  821. Magnus smiled:
  822. "You are an alchemist, Wondergood: you would transform lead into gold!"
  823. "Yes, I want to create gold and I seek the philosopher's stone.
  824. But has it not already been found? It has been found, only you do
  825. not know how to use it: It is love. Ah, Magnus, I do not know yet
  826. what I will do, but my plans are heroic and magnificent. If not for
  827. that misanthropic smile of yours I might go further. Believe in Man,
  828. Magnus, and give me your aid. You know what Man needs most."
  829. He said coldly and with sadness:
  830. "He needs prisons and gallows."
  831. I exclaimed in anger (I am particularly adept in feigning anger):
  832. "You are slandering me, Magnus! I see that you must have experienced
  833. some very great misfortune, perhaps treachery and----"
  834. "Hold on, Wondergood! I never speak of myself and do not like to hear
  835. others speak of me. Let it be sufficient for you to know that you are
  836. the first man in four years to break in upon my solitude and this only
  837. due to chance. I do not like people."
  838. "Oh, pardon. But I do not believe it."
  839. Magnus went over to the bookcase and with an expression of supreme
  840. contempt he seized the first volume he laid his hands upon.
  841. "And you who have read no books," he said, "do you know what these
  842. books are about? Only about evil, about the mistakes and sufferings
  843. of humanity. They are filled with tears and blood, Wondergood.
  844. Look: in this thin little book which I clasp between two fingers is
  845. contained a whole ocean of human blood, and if you should take all of
  846. them together----. And who has spilled this blood? The devil?"
  847. I felt flattered and wanted to bow in acknowledgment, but he threw the
  848. book aside and shouted:
  849. "No, sir: Man! Man has spilled this blood! Yes, I do read books but
  850. only for one purpose; to learn how to hate man and to hold him in
  851. contempt. You, Wondergood, have transformed your pigs into gold, yes?
  852. And I can see how your gold is being transformed back again into pigs.
  853. They will devour you, Wondergood. But I do not wish either to prattle
  854. or to lie: Throw your money into the sea or--build some new prisons
  855. and gallows. You are vain like all men. Then go on building gallows.
  856. You will be respected by serious people, while the flock in general
  857. will call you great. Or, don't you, American from Illinois, want to
  858. get into the Pantheon?"
  859. "No, Magnus!----"
  860. "Blood!" cried Magnus. "Can't you see that it is everywhere? Here it
  861. is on your boot now----"
  862. I confess that at the moment Magnus appeared to be insane. I jerked my
  863. foot in sudden fear and only then did I perceive a dark, reddish spot
  864. on my shoe--how dastardly!
  865. Magnus smiled and immediately regaining his composure continued calmly
  866. and without emotion:
  867. "I have unwittingly startled you, Mr. Wondergood? Nonsense! You
  868. probably stepped on something inadvertently. A mere trifle. But this
  869. conversation, a conversation I have not conducted for a number of
  870. years, makes me uneasy and--good night, Mr. Wondergood. To-morrow I
  871. shall have the honor of presenting you to my daughter, and now you
  872. will permit me----"
  873. And so on. In short, this gentleman conducted me to my room in a most
  874. impolite manner and well nigh put me to bed. I offered no resistance:
  875. why should I? I must say that I did not like him at this moment. I was
  876. even pleased when he turned to go but, suddenly, he turned at the very
  877. threshold and stepping forward, stretched out his large white hands.
  878. And murmured:
  879. "Do you see these hands? There is blood on them! Let it be the blood
  880. of a scoundrel, a torturer, a tyrant, but it is the same, red human
  881. blood. Good night!"
  882. --He spoiled my night for me. I swear by eternal salvation that on
  883. that night I felt great pleasure in being a man, and I made myself
  884. thoroughly at home in his narrow human skin. It made me feel
  885. uncomfortable in the armpits. You see, I bought it ready made and
  886. thought that it would be as comfortable as if it had been made to
  887. measure! I was highly emotional. I was extremely good and affable. I
  888. was very eager to play, but I was not inclined to tragedy! Blood! How
  889. can any person of good breeding thrust his white hands under the nose
  890. of a stranger--Hangmen have very white hands!
  891. Do not think I am jesting. I did not feel well. In the daytime I still
  892. manage to subdue Wondergood but at night he lays his hands upon me.
  893. It is he who fills me with his silly dreams and shakes within me his
  894. entire dusty archive--And how godlessly silly and meaningless are
  895. his dreams! He fusses about within me all night long like a returned
  896. master, seems to be looking about for something, grumbles about losses
  897. and wear and tear and sneezes and cavorts about like a dog lying
  898. uncomfortable on its bed. It is he who draws me in at night like a
  899. mass of wet lime into the depths of miserable humanity, where I nearly
  900. choke to death. When I awake in the morning I feel that Wondergood has
  901. infused ten more degrees of human into me--Think of it: He may soon
  902. eject me all together and leave me standing outside--he, the miserable
  903. owner of an empty barn into which I brought breath and soul!
  904. Like a hurried thief I crawled into a stranger's clothes, the pockets
  905. of which are bulging with forged promissory notes--no, still worse!
  906. It is not only uncomfortable attire. It is a low, dark and stifling
  907. jail, wherein I occupy less space than a ring might in the stomach of
  908. Wondergood. You, my dear reader, have been hidden in your prison from
  909. childhood and you even seem to like it, but I--I come from the kingdom
  910. of liberty. And I refuse to be Wondergood's tape worm: one swallow
  911. of poison and I am free again. What will you say then, scoundrel
  912. Wondergood? Without me you will be devoured by the worms. You will
  913. crack open at the seams--Miserable carcass! touch me not!
  914. On this night however I was in the absolute power of Wondergood. What
  915. is human blood to Me? What do I care about the troubles of _their_
  916. life! But Wondergood was quite aroused by the crazy Magnus. Suddenly
  917. I felt--just think of it--! That I am filled with blood, like the
  918. bladder of an ox, and the bladder is very thin and weak, so that it
  919. would be dangerous to prick it. Prick it and out spurts the blood! I
  920. was terrified at the idea that I might be killed in this house: That
  921. some one might cut my throat and turning me upside down, hanging by
  922. the legs, would let the blood run out upon the floor.
  923. I lay in the darkness and strained my ears to hear whether or not
  924. Magnus was approaching with his white hands. And the greater the
  925. silence in this cursed house the more terrified I grew. Even Toppi
  926. failed to snore as usual. This made me angry. Then my body began to
  927. ache. Perhaps I was injured in the wreck, or was it weariness brought
  928. on by the flight? Then my body began to itch in the most ordinary way
  929. and I even began to move the feet: it was the appearance of the jovial
  930. clown in the tragedy!
  931. Suddenly a dream seized Me by the feet and dragged me rapidly below.
  932. I hardly had time enough to shout. And what nonsense arose before me!
  933. Do you ever have such dreams? I felt that I was a bottle of champagne,
  934. with a thin neck and sealed, but filled not with wine but with blood!
  935. And it seemed that not only I but all people had become bottles with
  936. sealed tops and all of us were arranged in a row on a seashore. And,
  937. Someone horrible was approaching from Somewhere and wanted to smash
  938. us all. And I saw how foolish it would be to do so and wanted to
  939. shout: "Don't smash them. Get a corkscrew!" But I had no voice. I was
  940. a bottle. Suddenly the dead lackey George approached. In his hands
  941. was a huge sharp corkscrew. He said something and seized me by the
  942. throat--Ah, ah, by the throat!----
  943. I awoke in pain. Apparently he did try to open me up. My wrath was
  944. so great that I neither sighed nor smiled nor moved. I simply killed
  945. Wondergood again. I gnashed my teeth, straightened out my eyes, closed
  946. them calmly, stretched out at full length and lay peacefully in the
  947. full consciousness of the greatness of my Ego. Had the ocean itself
  948. moved up on me I would not have batted an eye! Get thee hence, my
  949. friend, I wish to be alone.
  950. And the body grew silent, colorless, airy and empty again. With
  951. light step I left it and before my eyes there arose a vision of the
  952. _extraordinary_, that which cannot be expressed in your language,
  953. my poor friend! Satisfy your curiosity with the dream I have just
  954. confided to you and ask no more! Or does not the "huge, sharp
  955. corkscrew" suit you? But it is so--artistic!
  956. * * * * *
  957. In the morning I was well again, refreshed and beautiful. I yearned
  958. for the play, like an actor who has just left his dressing room.
  959. Of course I did not forget to shave. This canaille Wondergood
  960. gets overgrown with hair as quickly as his golden skinned pigs. I
  961. complained about this to Toppi with whom, while waiting for Magnus,
  962. I was walking in the garden. And Toppi, thinking a while, replied
  963. philosophically:
  964. "Yes, man sleeps and his beard grows. This is as it should be--for the
  965. barbers!"
  966. Magnus appeared. He was no more hospitable than yesterday and his pale
  967. face carried unmistakable indications of weariness. But he was calm
  968. and polite. How black his beard is in the daytime! He pressed my hand
  969. in cold politeness and said: (we were perched on a wall.)
  970. "You are enjoying the Roman Campagna, Mr. Wondergood? A magnificent
  971. sight! It is said that the Campagna is noted for its fevers, but there
  972. is but one fever it produces in me--the fever of thought!"
  973. Apparently Wondergood did not have much of a liking for nature, and
  974. I have not yet managed to develop a taste for earthly landscape: an
  975. empty field for me. I cast my eyes politely over the countryside
  976. before us and said:
  977. "People interest me more, Signor Magnus."
  978. He gazed at me intently with his dark eyes and lowering his voice said
  979. dryly and with apparent reluctance:
  980. "Just two words about people, Mr. Wondergood. You will soon see my
  981. daughter, Maria. She is my three billions. You understand?"
  982. I nodded my head in approval.
  983. "But your California does not produce such gold. Neither does any
  984. other country on this dirty earth. It is the gold of the heavens. I am
  985. not a believer, Mr. Wondergood, but even I experience some doubts when
  986. I meet the gaze of my Maria. Hers are the only hands into which you
  987. might without the slightest misgiving place your billions----"
  988. I am an old bachelor and I was overcome with fear, but Magnus
  989. continued sternly with a ring of triumph in his voice:
  990. "But she will not accept them, Sir! Her gentle hands must never touch
  991. this golden dirt. Her clean eyes will never behold any sight but
  992. that of this endless, godless Campagna. Here is her monastery, Mr.
  993. Wondergood, and there is but one exit for her from here: into the
  994. Kingdom of Heaven, if it does exist!"
  995. "I beg your pardon but I cannot understand this, my dear Magnus!" I
  996. protested in great joy. "Life and people----"
  997. The face of Thomas Magnus grew angry, as it did yesterday, and in
  998. stern ridicule, he interrupted me:
  999. "And I beg you to grasp, _dear_ Wondergood, that life and people are
  1000. not for Maria. It is enough that I know them. My duty was to _warn_
  1001. you. And now"--he again assumed the attitude of cold politeness--"I
  1002. ask you to come to my table. You too, Mr. Toppi!"
  1003. We had begun to eat, and were chattering of small matters, when
  1004. _Maria_ entered. The door through which she entered was behind my
  1005. back. I mistook her soft step for those of the maid carrying the
  1006. dishes, but I was astonished by the long-nosed Toppi, sitting opposite
  1007. me. His eyes grew round like circles, his face red, as if he were
  1008. choking. His Adam's apple seemed to be lifted above his neck as if
  1009. driven by a wave, and to disappear again somewhere behind his narrow,
  1010. ministerial collar. Of course, I thought he was choking to death with
  1011. a fishbone and shouted:
  1012. "Toppi! What is the matter with you? Take some water."
  1013. But Magnus was already on his feet, announcing coldly:
  1014. "My daughter, Maria. Mr. Henry Wondergood!"
  1015. I turned about quickly and--how can I express the extraordinary when
  1016. it is inexpressible? It was something more than beautiful. It was
  1017. terrible in its beauty. I do not want to seek comparisons. I shall
  1018. leave that to you. Take all that you have ever seen or ever known
  1019. of the beautiful on earth: the lily, the stars, the sun, but add,
  1020. add still more. But not this was the awful aspect of it: There was
  1021. something else: the elusive yet astonishing similarity--to whom? Whom
  1022. have I met upon this earth who was so beautiful--so beautiful and
  1023. awe-inspiring--awe-inspiring and unapproachable. I have learned by
  1024. this time your entire archive, Wondergood, and I do not believe that
  1025. it comes from your modest gallery!
  1026. "Madonna!" mumbled Toppi in a hoarse voice, scared out of his wits.
  1027. So that is it! Yes, Madonna. The fool was right, and I, Satan, could
  1028. understand his terror. Madonna, whom people see only in churches, in
  1029. paintings, in the imagination of artists. Maria, the name which rings
  1030. only in hymns and prayer books, heavenly beauty, mercy, forgiveness
  1031. and love! Star of the Seas! Do you like that name: Star of the Seas?
  1032. It was really devilishly funny. I made a deep bow and almost blurted
  1033. out:
  1034. "Madam, I beg pardon for my unbidden intrusion, but I really did not
  1035. expect to meet you _here_. I most humbly beg your pardon, but I could
  1036. not imagine that this black bearded fellow has the honor of having you
  1037. for his daughter. A thousand times I crave your pardon for----"
  1038. But enough. I said something else.
  1039. "How do you do, Signorina. It is indeed a pleasure."
  1040. And she really did not indicate in any way that she was _already_
  1041. acquainted with Me. One must respect an incognito if one would remain
  1042. a gentleman and only a scoundrel would dare to tear a mask from a
  1043. lady's face! This would have been all the more impossible, because her
  1044. father, Thomas Magnus, continued to urge us with a chuckle:
  1045. "Do eat, please, Mr. Toppi. Why do you not drink, Mr. Wondergood? The
  1046. wine is splendid."
  1047. In the course of what followed:
  1048. 1. She breathed--
  1049. 2. She blinked--
  1050. 3. She ate--
  1051. and she was a beautiful girl, about eighteen years of age, and her
  1052. dress was white and her throat bare. It was really laughable. I gazed
  1053. at her bare neck and--believe me, my earthly friend: I am not easily
  1054. seduced, I am not a romantic youth, but I am not old by any means,
  1055. I am not at all bad looking, I enjoy an independent position in the
  1056. world and--don't you like the combination: Satan and _Maria_? _Maria_
  1057. and Satan! In evidence of the seriousness of my intentions I can
  1058. submit at that moment I thought more of _our_ descendants and sought a
  1059. name for _our_ first-born than indulged in frivolity.
  1060. Suddenly Toppi's Adam's apple gave a jerk and he inquired hoarsely:
  1061. "Has any one ever painted your portrait, Signorina?"
  1062. "Maria never poses for painters!" broke in Magnus sternly. I felt like
  1063. laughing at the fool Toppi. I had already opened wide my mouth, filled
  1064. with a set of first-class American teeth, when Maria's pure gaze
  1065. pierced my eyes and everything flew to the devil,--as in that moment
  1066. of the railway catastrophe! You understand: she turned me inside out,
  1067. like a stocking--or how shall I put it? My fine Parisian costume was
  1068. driven inside of me and my still finer thoughts which, however, I
  1069. would not have wanted to convey to the lady, suddenly appeared upon
  1070. the surface. With all my secrecy I was left no more sealed than a room
  1071. in a fifteen cent lodging house.
  1072. But she _forgave_ me, said nothing and threw her gaze like a projector
  1073. in the direction of Toppi, illumining his entire body. You, too, would
  1074. have laughed had you seen how this poor old devil was set aglow and
  1075. aflame by this gaze--clear from the prayer book to the fishbone with
  1076. which he nearly choked to death.
  1077. Fortunately for both of us Magnus arose and invited us to follow him
  1078. into the garden.
  1079. "Come, let us go into the garden," said he. "Maria will show you her
  1080. favorite flowers."
  1081. Yes, Maria! But seek no songs of praise from me, oh poet! I was mad!
  1082. I was as provoked as a man whose closet has just been ransacked by a
  1083. burglar. I wanted to gaze at Maria but was compelled to look upon the
  1084. foolish flowers--because I dared not lift my eyes. I am a gentleman
  1085. and cannot appear before a lady without a necktie. I was seized by a
  1086. curious humility. Do you like to feel humble? I do not.
  1087. I do not know what Maria said. But I swear by eternal salvation--her
  1088. gaze, and her entire uncanny countenance was the embodiment of an
  1089. all-embracing meaning so that any wise word I might have uttered would
  1090. have sounded meaningless. The wisdom of words is necessary only for
  1091. those poor in spirit. The right are silent. Take note of that, little
  1092. poet, sage and eternal chatterbox, wherever you may be. Let it be
  1093. sufficient for you that I have humbled myself to speak.
  1094. Ah, but I have forgotten my humility! She walked and I and Toppi
  1095. crawled after her. I detested myself and this broad-backed Toppi
  1096. because of his hanging nose and large, pale ears. What was needed here
  1097. was an Apollo and not a pair of ordinary Americans.
  1098. We felt quite relieved when she had gone and we were left alone with
  1099. Magnus. It was all so sweet and simple! Toppi abandoned his religious
  1100. airs and I crossed my legs comfortably, lit a cigar, and fixed my
  1101. steel-sharp gaze upon the whites of Magnus's eyes.
  1102. "You must be off to Rome, Mr. Wondergood. They are probably worrying
  1103. about you," said our host in a tone of loving concern.
  1104. "I can send Toppi," I replied. He smiled and added ironically:
  1105. "I hardly think that would be sufficient, Mr. Wondergood!"
  1106. I sought to clasp his great white hand but it did not seem to move
  1107. closer. But I caught it just the same, pressed it warmly and he was
  1108. compelled to return the pressure!
  1109. "Very well, Signor Magnus! I am off at once!" I said.
  1110. "I have already sent for the carriage," he replied. "Is not the
  1111. Campagna beautiful in the morning?"
  1112. I again took a polite look at the country-side and said with emotion:
  1113. "Yes, it is beautiful! Irwin, my friend, leave us for a moment. I have
  1114. a few words to say to Signor Magnus----"
  1115. Toppi left and Signor Magnus opened wide his big sad eyes. I again
  1116. tried my steel on him, and bending forward closer to his dark face, I
  1117. asked:
  1118. "Have you ever observed _dear_ Magnus, the very striking resemblance
  1119. between your daughter, the Signorina Maria, and a certain--celebrated
  1120. personage? Don't you think she resembles the Madonna?"
  1121. "Madonna?" drawled out Magnus. "No, _dear_ Wondergood, I haven't
  1122. noticed that. I never go to church. But I fear you will be late. The
  1123. Roman fever----"
  1124. I again seized his white hand and shook it vigorously. No, I did not
  1125. tear it off. And from my eyes there burst forth again _those_ two
  1126. tears:
  1127. "Let us speak plainly, Signor Magnus," said I. "I am a straightforward
  1128. man and have grown to love you. Do you want to come along with me and
  1129. be the lord of my billions?"
  1130. Magnus was silent. His hand lay motionless in mine. His eyes were
  1131. lowered and something dark seemed to pass over his face, then
  1132. immediately to disappear. Finally he said, seriously and simply:
  1133. "I understand you, Mr. Wondergood--but I must refuse. No, I will not
  1134. go with you. I have failed to tell you one thing, but your frankness
  1135. and confidence in me compels me to say that I must, to a certain
  1136. extent, steer clear of the police."
  1137. "The Roman police," I asked, betraying a slight excitement. "Nonsense,
  1138. we shall buy it."
  1139. "No, the international," he replied. "I hope you do not think that I
  1140. have committed some base crime. The trouble is not with police which
  1141. can be bought. You are right, Mr. Wondergood, when you say that one
  1142. can buy almost any one. The truth is that I can be of no use to you.
  1143. What do you want me for? You love humanity and I detest it. At best I
  1144. am indifferent to it. Let it live and not interfere with me. Leave me
  1145. my Maria, leave me the right and strength to detest people as I read
  1146. the history of their life. Leave me my Campagna and that is all I want
  1147. and all of which I am capable. All the oil within me has burned out,
  1148. Wondergood. You see before you an extinguished lamp hanging on a wall,
  1149. a lamp which once--Goodbye."
  1150. "I do not ask your confidence, Magnus," I interjected.
  1151. "Pardon me, you will never receive it, Mr. Wondergood. My name is an
  1152. invention but it is the only one I can offer to my friends."
  1153. To tell the truth: I liked "Thomas Magnus" at that moment. He spoke
  1154. bravely and simply. In his face one could read stubbornness and
  1155. will. This man knew the value of human life and had the mien of one
  1156. condemned to death. But it was the mien of a proud, uncompromising
  1157. criminal, who will never accept the ministrations of a priest! For
  1158. a moment I thought: My Father had many bastard children, deprived of
  1159. legacy and wandering about the world. Perhaps Thomas Magnus is one of
  1160. these wanderers? And is it possible that I have met a _brother_ on
  1161. this earth? Very interesting. But from a purely human, business point
  1162. of view, one cannot help but respect a man whose hands are steeped in
  1163. blood!
  1164. I saluted, changed my position, and in the humblest possible manner,
  1165. asked Magnus's permission to visit him occasionally and seek his
  1166. advice. He hesitated but finally looked me straight in the face and
  1167. agreed.
  1168. "Very well, Mr. Wondergood. You may come. I hope to hear from you
  1169. things that may supplement the knowledge I glean from my books.
  1170. And, by the way, Mr. Toppi has made an excellent impression upon my
  1171. Maria"----
  1172. "Toppi?"
  1173. "Yes. She has found a striking resemblance between him and one of her
  1174. favorite saints. She goes to church frequently."
  1175. Toppi a saint! Or has his prayer book overbalanced his huge back and
  1176. the fishbone in his throat. Magnus gazed at me almost gently and only
  1177. his thin nose seemed to tremble slightly with restrained laughter.--It
  1178. is very pleasant to know that behind this austere exterior there is
  1179. so much quiet and restrained merriment!
  1180. It was twilight when we left. Magnus followed us to the threshold, but
  1181. Maria remained in seclusion. The little white house surrounded by the
  1182. cypress trees was as quiet and silent as we found it yesterday, but
  1183. the silence was of a different character: the silence was the soul of
  1184. Maria.
  1185. I confess that I felt rather sad at this departure but very soon
  1186. came a new series of impressions, which dispelled this feeling. We
  1187. were approaching Rome. We entered the brightly illuminated, densely
  1188. populated streets through some opening in the city wall and the
  1189. first thing we saw in the Eternal City was a creaking trolley car,
  1190. trying to make its way through the same hole in the wall. Toppi, who
  1191. was acquainted with Rome, revelled in the familiar atmosphere of
  1192. the churches we were passing and indicated with his long finger the
  1193. _remnants_ of ancient Rome which seemed to be clinging to the huge
  1194. wall of the new structures: just as if the latter had been bombarded
  1195. with the shells of old and fragments of the missiles had clung to the
  1196. bricks.
  1197. Here and there we came upon additional heaps of this old rubbish.
  1198. Above a low parapet of stone, we observed a dark shallow ditch and a
  1199. large triumphal gate, half sunk in the earth. "The Forum!" exclaimed
  1200. Toppi, majestically. Our coachman nodded his head in affirmation.
  1201. With every new pile of old stone and brick the fellow swelled with
  1202. pride, while I longed for my New York and its skyscrapers, and tried
  1203. to calculate the number of trucks that would be necessary to clear
  1204. these heaps of rubbish called ancient Rome away before morning. When I
  1205. mentioned this to Toppi he was insulted and replied:
  1206. "You don't understand anything: better close your eyes and just
  1207. reflect that you are in Rome."
  1208. I did so and was again convinced that sight is as much of an
  1209. impediment to the mind as sound: not without reason are all wise folk
  1210. on the earth blind and all good musicians deaf.
  1211. Like Toppi I began to sniff the air and through my sense of smell I
  1212. gathered more of Rome and its horribly long and highly entertaining
  1213. history than hitherto: thus a decaying leaf in the woods smells
  1214. stronger than the young and green foliage. Will you believe me when
  1215. I say that I sensed the odor of blood and Nero? But when I opened my
  1216. eyes expectantly I observed a plain, everyday kiosk and a lemonade
  1217. stand.
  1218. "Well, how do you like it?" growled Toppi, still dissatisfied.
  1219. "It smells----"
  1220. "Well, certainly it smells! It will smell stronger with every hour:
  1221. these are old, strong aromas, Mr. Wondergood."
  1222. And so it really was: the odor grew in strength. I cannot find
  1223. comparisons to make it clear to you. All the sections of my brain
  1224. began to move and buzz like bees aroused by smoke. It is strange, but
  1225. it seems that Rome is included in the archive of the silly Wondergood.
  1226. Perhaps this is his native town? When we approached a certain populous
  1227. square I sensed the clear odor of some blood relatives, which was
  1228. soon followed by the conviction that I, too, have walked these
  1229. streets before. Have I, like Toppi, previously donned the human form?
  1230. Ever louder buzzed the bees. My entire beehive buzzed and suddenly
  1231. thousands of faces, dim and white, beautiful and horrible, began to
  1232. dance before me; thousands upon thousands of voices, noises, cries,
  1233. laughters and sighs nearly set me deaf. No, this was no longer a
  1234. beehive: it was a huge, fiery smithy, where firearms were being forged
  1235. with the red sparks flying all about. Iron!
  1236. Of course, if I had lived in Rome before, I must have been one of
  1237. its emperors: I _remember_ the expression of my face. I remember the
  1238. movement of my bare neck as I turn my head. I remember the touch of
  1239. golden laurels upon my bald head--Iron! Ah, I hear the steps of the
  1240. iron legions of Rome. I hear the iron voices: "Vivat Cæsar!"
  1241. I am hot. I am burning. Or was I not an emperor but simply one of the
  1242. "victims" when Rome burned down in accordance with the magnificent
  1243. plan of Nero? No, this is not a fire. This is a funeral pyre on which
  1244. I am forcibly esconsced. I hear the snake-like hissing of the tongues
  1245. of flame beneath my feet. I strain my neck, all lined with blue veins,
  1246. and in my throat there rises the final curse--or blessing? Think of
  1247. it: I even remember that Roman face in the front row of spectators,
  1248. which even then gave me no rest because of its idiotic expression and
  1249. sleepy eyes: I am being burned and it sleeps!
  1250. "Hotel 'Internationale'"--cried Toppi, and I opened my eyes.
  1251. We were going up a hill along a quiet street, at the end of which
  1252. there glowed a large structure, worthy even of New York: it was
  1253. the hotel where we had previously wired for reservations. They
  1254. probably thought we had perished in the wreck. My funeral pyre was
  1255. extinguished. I grew as merry as a darkey who has just escaped from
  1256. hard labor and I whispered to Toppi:
  1257. "Well, Toppi, and how about the Madonna?"
  1258. "Y-yes, interesting. I was frightened at first and nearly choked to
  1259. death----"
  1260. "With a bone? You are silly, Toppi: she is polite and did not
  1261. recognize you. She simply took you for one of her saints. It is
  1262. a pity, old boy, that we have chosen for ourselves these solemn,
  1263. American faces: had we looked around more carefully we might have
  1264. found some more beautiful."
  1265. "I am quite satisfied with mine," said Toppi sadly, and turned away. A
  1266. glow of secret self-satisfaction appeared upon his long, shiny nose.
  1267. Ah, Toppi, Ah, the saint!
  1268. But we were already being accorded a triumphal reception.
  1269. February 14.
  1270. Rome, Hotel "Internationale."
  1271. I do not want to go to Magnus. I am thinking too much of his Madonna
  1272. of flesh and bone. I have come here to lie and to play merrily and
  1273. I am not at all taken by the prospect of being a mediocre actor,
  1274. who weeps behind the scenes and appears on the stage with his eyes
  1275. perfectly dry. Moreover, I have no time to gad about the fields
  1276. catching butterflies with a net like a boy.
  1277. The whole of Rome is buzzing about me. I am an extraordinary man,
  1278. who loves his fellow beings and I am celebrated. The mobs who flock
  1279. to worship Me are no less numerous than those who worship the Vicar
  1280. of Christ himself, two Popes all at once.--Yes, happy Rome cannot
  1281. consider itself an orphan!
  1282. I am now living at the hotel, where all is aquiver with ecstacy when
  1283. I put my shoes outside my door for the night, but they are renovating
  1284. a palace for me: the historic Villa Orsini. Painters, sculptors and
  1285. poets are kept busy. One brush-pusher is already painting my portrait,
  1286. assuring me that I remind him of one of the Medicis. The other
  1287. brush-pushers are sharpening their knives for him.
  1288. I ask him:
  1289. "And can you paint a Madonna?"
  1290. Certainly he can. It was he, if the signor recollects, who painted the
  1291. famous Turk on the cigarette boxes, the Turk whose fame is known even
  1292. in America. And now three brush-pushers are painting Madonnas for me.
  1293. The rest are running about Rome seeking models. I said to one, in my
  1294. barbarous, American ignorance of the higher arts:
  1295. "But if you find such a model, Signor, just bring her to me. Why waste
  1296. paint and canvas?"
  1297. He was evidently pained and mumbled:
  1298. "Ah, Signor--a model?"
  1299. I think he took me for a merchant in "live stock." But, fool, why do I
  1300. need your aid for which I must pay a commission, when my ante-chamber
  1301. is filled with a flock of beauties? They all worship me. I remind them
  1302. of Savanarola, and they seek to transform every dark corner in my
  1303. drawing room, and every soft couch into a confessional. I am so glad
  1304. that these society ladies, like the painters, know so well the history
  1305. of their country and realize who I am.
  1306. The joy of the Roman papers on finding that I did not perish in the
  1307. wreck and lost neither my legs nor my billions, was equal to the
  1308. joy of the papers of Jerusalem on the day of the resurrection of
  1309. Christ--in reality there was little cause for satisfaction on the
  1310. part of the latter, as far as I am able to read history. I feared
  1311. that I might remind the journalists of J. Cæsar, but fortunately
  1312. they think little of the past and confined themselves to pointing
  1313. out my resemblance to President Wilson. Scoundrels! They were simply
  1314. flattering my American patriotism. To the majority, however, I recall
  1315. a Prophet, but they do not know which one. On this point they are
  1316. modestly silent. At any rate it is not Mahomet: my opposition to
  1317. marriage is well known at all telegraph stations.
  1318. It is difficult to imagine the filth on which I fed my hungry
  1319. interviewers. Like an experienced swine-herd, I gaze with horror on
  1320. the mess they feed upon. They eat and yet they live. Although, I must
  1321. admit, I do not see them growing fat! Yesterday morning I flew in an
  1322. aeroplane over Rome and the Campagna. You will probably ask whether I
  1323. saw Maria's home? No. I did not find it: how can one find a grain of
  1324. sand among a myriad of other grains--But I really did not look for it:
  1325. I felt horror-stricken at the great altitude.
  1326. But my good interviewers, restless and impatient, were astounded by
  1327. my coolness and courage. One fellow, strong, surly and bearded, who
  1328. reminded me of Hannibal, was the first to reach me after the flight,
  1329. and asked:
  1330. "Did not the sensation of flying in the air, Mr. Wondergood, the
  1331. feeling of having conquered the elements, thrill you with a sense of
  1332. pride in man, who has subdued----"
  1333. He repeated the question: they don't seem to trust me, somehow, and
  1334. are always suggesting the proper answers. But I shrugged my shoulders
  1335. and exclaimed sadly:
  1336. "Can you imagine Signor--No! Only once did I have a sense of pride in
  1337. men and that was--in the lavatory on board the 'Atlantic.'"
  1338. "Oh! In the lavatory! But what happened? A storm, and you were
  1339. astounded by the genius of man, who has subdued----"
  1340. "Nothing extraordinary happened. But I was astounded by the genius of
  1341. man who managed to create a palace out of such a disgusting necessity
  1342. as a lavatory."
  1343. "Oh!"
  1344. "A real temple, in which one is the arch priest!"
  1345. "Permit me to make a note of that. It is such an
  1346. original--illumination of the problem----"
  1347. And to-day the whole Eternal City was feeding on this sally. Not only
  1348. did they not request me to leave the place, but on the contrary, this
  1349. was the day of the first official visits to my apartments: something
  1350. on the order of a minister of state, an ambassador or some other
  1351. palace chef came and poured sugar and cinnamon all over me as if I
  1352. were a pudding. Later in the day I returned the visits: it is not very
  1353. pleasant to keep such things.
  1354. Need I say that I have a nephew? Every American millionaire has a
  1355. nephew in Europe. My nephew's name is also Wondergood. He is connected
  1356. with some legation, is very correct in manners and his bald spot
  1357. is so oiled that my kiss could serve me as a breakfast were I fond
  1358. of scented oil. But one must be willing to sacrifice something,
  1359. especially the gratification of a sense of smell. The kiss cost me not
  1360. a cent, while it meant a great deal to the young man. It opened for
  1361. him a wide credit on soap and perfumery.
  1362. But enough! When I look at these ladies and gentlemen and reflect
  1363. that they are just as they were at the court of Aschurbanipal and
  1364. that for the past 2000 years the pieces of silver received by Judas
  1365. continue to bear interest, like his kiss--I grow bored with this old
  1366. and threadbare play. Ah, I want a great play. I seek originality
  1367. and talent. I want beautiful lines and bold strokes. This company
  1368. here casts me in the rôle of an old brass band conductor. At times I
  1369. come to the conclusion that it wasn't really worth my while to have
  1370. undertaken such a long journey for the sake of this old drivel--to
  1371. exchange ancient, magnificent and multi-colored Hell for its miserable
  1372. replica. In truth, I am sorry that Magnus and his Madonna refused to
  1373. join me--we would have played a little--just a little!
  1374. I have had but one interesting morning. In fact I was quite excited.
  1375. The congregation of a so-called "free" church, composed of very
  1376. serious men and women, who insist upon worshipping in accordance
  1377. with the dictates of their conscience, invited Me to deliver a
  1378. Sunday sermon. I donned a black frock coat, which gave me a close
  1379. resemblance to--Toppi, went through a number of particularly
  1380. expressive gestures before my mirror and was driven in an automobile,
  1381. like a prophet--moderne, to the service. I took as my subject or
  1382. "text" Jesus' advice to the rich youth to distribute his wealth
  1383. among the poor--and in not more than half an hour, I demonstrated as
  1384. conclusively as 2 and 2 make 4, that love of one's neighbor is the
  1385. all important thing. Like a practical and careful American, however,
  1386. I pointed out that it was not necessary to try and go after the whole
  1387. of the kingdom of Heaven at one shot and to distribute one's wealth
  1388. carelessly; that one can buy it up in lots on the instalment plan and
  1389. by easy payments. The faces of the faithful bore a look of extreme
  1390. concentration. They were apparently figuring out something and came to
  1391. the conclusion that on the basis I suggested, the Kingdom of Heaven
  1392. was attainable for the pockets of all of them.
  1393. Unfortunately, a number of my quick-witted compatriots were present
  1394. in the congregation. One of them was about to rise to his feet to
  1395. propose the formation of a stock company, when I realized the danger
  1396. and frustrated this plan by letting loose a fountain of emotion, and
  1397. thus extinguished his religiously practical zeal! What did I not talk
  1398. about? I wept for my sad childhood, spent in labor and privation; I
  1399. whined about my poor father who perished in a match factory. I prayed
  1400. solemnly for all my brothers and sisters in Christ. The swamp I
  1401. created was so huge that the journalists caught enough wild ducks to
  1402. last them for six months. How we wept!
  1403. I shivered with the dampness and began to beat energetically the drum
  1404. of my billions: dum-dum! Everything for others, not a cent for me:
  1405. dum-dum! With a brazenness worthy of the whip I concluded "with the
  1406. words of the Great Teacher:"
  1407. "Come ye unto me all who are heavy-laden and weary and I will comfort
  1408. ye!"
  1409. Ah, what a pity I cannot perform miracles! A little practical miracle,
  1410. something on the order of transforming a bottle of water into one
  1411. of sour Chianti or some of the worshippers into pastry, would have
  1412. gone a long way at that moment.--You laugh and are angry, my earthy
  1413. reader? There is no reason for you to act thus. Remember only that the
  1414. _extraordinary_ cannot be expressed in your ventriloquist language and
  1415. that my words are merely a cursed mask for my thoughts.
  1416. Maria!
  1417. You will read of my success in the newspapers. There was one fool,
  1418. however, who almost spoiled my day for me: he was a member of the
  1419. Salvation Army. He came to see me and suggested that I immediately
  1420. take up a trumpet and lead the army into battle--they were too
  1421. cheap laurels he offered and I drove him out. But Toppi--he was
  1422. triumphantly silent all the way home and finally he said very
  1423. respectfully:
  1424. "You were in fine mettle to-day, Mr. Wondergood. I even wept. It is a
  1425. pity that neither Magnus nor his daughter heard you preach, She--she
  1426. would have changed her opinion of us."
  1427. You understand, of course, that I felt like kicking this admirer out
  1428. of the carriage! I again felt in the pupils of my eyes the piercing
  1429. sting of hers. The speed with which I was again turned inside out and
  1430. spread out on a plate for the public's view is equal only to that
  1431. with which an experienced waiter opens a can of conserves. I drew my
  1432. top hat over my eyes, raised the collar of my coat and looking very
  1433. much like a tragedian just hissed off the stage, I rode silently, and
  1434. without acknowledging the greetings showered upon me, I proceeded
  1435. to my apartments. Ah, that gaze of Maria! And how could I have
  1436. acknowledged the greetings when I had no cane with me?
  1437. I have declined all of to-day's invitations and am at home: I am
  1438. engaged in "religious meditation"--this was how Toppi announced it
  1439. to the journalists. He has really begun to respect me. Before me are
  1440. whiskey and champagne. I am slowly filling up on the liquor while
  1441. from the dining hall below come the distant strains of music. My
  1442. Wondergood was apparently considerable of a drunkard and every night
  1443. he drags me to the wineshop, to which I interpose no objection. What's
  1444. the difference? Fortunately his intoxication is of a merry kind and we
  1445. make quite a pleasant time of it. At first we cast our dull eyes over
  1446. the furniture and involuntarily begin to calculate the value of all
  1447. this bronze, these carpets, Venetian mirrors, etc.
  1448. "A trifle!" we agree, and with peculiar self-satisfaction we lose
  1449. ourselves in the contemplation of our own billions, of our power
  1450. and our remarkable wisdom and character. Our bliss increases with
  1451. each additional glass. With peculiar pleasure we wallow in the cheap
  1452. luxury of the hotel, and--think of it!--I am actually beginning to
  1453. have a liking for bronze, carpets, glass and stones. My Puritan Toppi
  1454. condemns luxury. It reminds him of Sodom and Gommorah. But it is
  1455. difficult for me to part with these little emotional pleasures. How
  1456. silly of me!
  1457. We continue to listen dully and half-heartedly to the music and
  1458. venture to whistle some accompaniments. We add a little contemplation
  1459. on the decollete of the ladies and then, with our step still firm, we
  1460. proceed to our resting room.
  1461. But we were just ready for bed when suddenly I felt as if some one
  1462. had struck me a blow and I was immediately seized with a tempest
  1463. of tears, of love and sadness. The extraordinary suddenly found
  1464. expression. I grew as broad as space, as deep as eternity and I
  1465. embraced all in a single breath! But, oh, what sadness! Oh, what love,
  1466. Maria!
  1467. But I am nothing more than a subterranean lake in the belly of
  1468. Wondergood and my storms in no way disturb his firm tread. I am only a
  1469. solitaire in his stomach, of which he seeks to rid himself!
  1470. We ring for the servants.
  1471. "Soda!"
  1472. I am simply drunk. Arrivederci, Signor, buona notte!
  1473. February 18, 1914.
  1474. Rome, Hotel "Internationale."
  1475. Yesterday I visited Magnus. I was compelled to wait long for him, in
  1476. the garden, and when he did appear he was so cold and indifferent that
  1477. I felt like leaving. I observed a few gray hairs in his black beard. I
  1478. had not noticed them before. Was Maria unwell? I appeared concerned.
  1479. Everything here is so uncertain that on leaving a person for one hour
  1480. one may have to seek him in eternity."
  1481. "Maria is well, thank you," replied Magnus, frigidly. He seemed
  1482. surprised as if my question were presumptuous and improper. "And how
  1483. are your affairs, Mr. Wondergood? The Roman papers are filled with
  1484. news of you. You are scoring a big success."
  1485. With pain aggravated by the absence of Maria, I revealed to Magnus
  1486. my disappointment and my ennui. I spoke well, not without wit and
  1487. sarcasm. I grew more and more provoked by his lack of attention and
  1488. interest, plainly written on his pale and weary face. Not once did he
  1489. smile or venture to put any questions, but when I reached the story of
  1490. my "nephew" he frowned in displeasure and said:
  1491. "Fie! This is a cheap variety farce! How can you occupy yourself with
  1492. such trifles, Mr. Wondergood?"
  1493. I replied angrily:
  1494. "But it is not I who am occupying myself with them, Signor Magnus!"
  1495. "And how about the interviews? What about that flight of yours? You
  1496. should drive them away. This humbles your...three billions. And is
  1497. it true that you delivered some sort of a sermon?"
  1498. The joy of play forsook me. Unwilling as Magnus was to listen to me, I
  1499. told him all about my sermon and those credulous fools who swallowed
  1500. sacrilege as they do marmalade.
  1501. "And did you expect anything different, Mr. Wondergood?"
  1502. "I expected that they would fall upon me with clubs for my audacity:
  1503. When I sacrilegiously bandied about the words of the Testament...."
  1504. "Yes, they are beautiful words," agreed Magnus. "But didn't you know
  1505. that all their worship of God and all their faith are nothing but
  1506. sacrilege? When they term a wafer the body of Christ, while some
  1507. Sixtus or Pius reigns undisturbed, and with the approval of all
  1508. Catholics as the Vicar of Christ, why should not you, an American from
  1509. Illinois, call yourself at least...his governor? This is not meant
  1510. as sacrilege, Mr. Wondergood. These are simply allegories, highly
  1511. convenient for blockheads, and you are only wasting your wrath. But
  1512. when will you get down to _business_?"
  1513. I threw up my hands in skillfully simulated sorrow:
  1514. "I _want_ to do something, but I _know_ not what to do. I shall
  1515. probably never get down to business until you, Magnus, agree to come
  1516. to my aid."
  1517. He frowned, at his own large, motionless, white hands and then at me:
  1518. "You are too credulous, Mr. Wondergood. This is a great fault when
  1519. one has three billions. No, I am of no use to you. Our roads are far
  1520. apart."
  1521. "But, dear Magnus!..."
  1522. I expected him to strike me for this gentle _dear_, which I uttered
  1523. in my best possible falsetto. But I ventured to continue. With all
  1524. the sweetness I managed to accumulate in Rome, I looked upon the dim
  1525. physiognomy of my friend and in a still gentler falsetto, I asked:
  1526. "And of what nationality are you, my _dear_...Signor Magnus? I
  1527. suspect for some reason that you are not Italian?"
  1528. He replied calmly:
  1529. "No, I am not Italian."
  1530. "But where is your country?----"
  1531. "My country?... Omne solum liberam libero patria. I suppose you do
  1532. not know Latin? It means: Where freedom is there is the fatherland of
  1533. every free man. Will you take breakfast with me?"
  1534. The invitation was couched in such icy tones and Maria's absence
  1535. was so strongly implied therein that I was compelled to decline it
  1536. politely. The devil take this man! I was not at all in a merry mood
  1537. that morning. I fervently wished to weep upon his breast while he
  1538. mercilessly threw cold showers upon my noblest transports. I sighed
  1539. and changed my pose. I assumed a pose prepared especially for Maria.
  1540. Speaking in a low voice, I said:
  1541. "I want to be frank with you, Signor Magnus. My past...contains many
  1542. dark pages, which I should like to redeem. I...."
  1543. He quickly interrupted me:
  1544. "There are dark pages in everybody's past, Mr. Wondergood. I myself am
  1545. not so clear of reproach as to accept the confession of such a worthy
  1546. gentleman."
  1547. "I am a poor spiritual father," he added with a most unpleasant laugh:
  1548. "_I never pardon sinners_ and, in view of that, what pleasure could
  1549. there be for you in your confession. Better tell me something more
  1550. about your nephew. Is he young?"
  1551. We spoke about my nephew--and Magnus smiled. A pause ensued. Then
  1552. Magnus asked whether I had visited the Vatican gallery and I bade him
  1553. good-by, requesting him to transmit my compliments to Maria. I confess
  1554. I was a sorry sight and felt deeply indebted to Magnus when he said in
  1555. bidding me farewell:
  1556. "Do not be angry with me, Mr. Wondergood. I am not altogether well
  1557. to-day and...am rather worried about my affairs. That's all. I hope
  1558. to be more pleasant when we meet again, but be so kind as to excuse me
  1559. this morning. I shall see that Maria gets your compliments."
  1560. If this blackbearded fellow were only _playing_, I confess I would
  1561. have found a worthy partner.
  1562. A dozen pickaninnies could not have licked off the honeyed expression
  1563. my face assumed at Magnus' promise to transmit my greetings to Maria.
  1564. All the way back to my hotel I smiled idiotically at the coachman's
  1565. back and afterwards bestowed a kiss on Toppi's brow--the canaile still
  1566. maintains an odor of fur, like a young devil.
  1567. "I see there was profit in your visit," said Toppi significantly. "How
  1568. is Magnus'...daughter? You understand?"
  1569. "Splendid, Toppi, splendid! She said that my beauty and wisdom
  1570. reminded her of Solomon's!"
  1571. Toppi smiled condescendingly at my unsuccessful jest. The honeyed
  1572. expression left my face and rust and vinegar took the place of the
  1573. sugar. I locked myself in my room and for a long time continued to
  1574. curse Satan for falling in love with a woman.
  1575. You consider yourself original, my earthly friend, when you fall in
  1576. love with a woman and begin to quiver all over with the fever of love.
  1577. And I do not. I can see the legions of couples, from Adam and Eve on;
  1578. I can see their kisses and caresses; I can hear the words so cursedly
  1579. monotonous, and I begin to detest my own lips daring to mumble the
  1580. mumbling of others, my eyes, simulating the gaze of others, my heart,
  1581. surrendering obediently to the click of the lock of a house of shame.
  1582. I can see all these excited animals in their groaning and their
  1583. caresses and I cry with revulsion at my own mass of bones and flesh
  1584. and nerves! Take care, Satan in human form, Deceit is coming over You!
  1585. Won't you take Maria for yourself, my earthly friend? Take her. She is
  1586. yours, not mine. Ah, if Maria were my slave, I would put a rope around
  1587. her neck and would take her, naked, to the market place: Who will buy?
  1588. Who will pay the most for this unearthly beauty? Ah, do not hurt the
  1589. poor blind merchant: open wide your purses, jingle louder your gold,
  1590. generous gentlemen!...
  1591. What, she will not go? Fear not, Signor, she will come and she will
  1592. love you.... This is simply her maidenly modesty, Sir! Shall I tie the
  1593. other end of the rope about her and lead her to your bed, kind sir?
  1594. Take the rope along with you. I charge nothing for that. Only rid me
  1595. of this heavenly beauty! She has the face of the radiant Madonna. She
  1596. is the daughter of the honorable Thomas Magnus and both of them are
  1597. thieves: he stole his white hands and she--her pristine face! Ah....
  1598. But I am beginning to play with you, dear reader? That is a mistake:
  1599. I have simply taken the wrong note book. No, it is not a mistake. It
  1600. is worse. I play because my loneliness is very great, very deep--I
  1601. fear it has no bottom at all! I stand on the edge of an abyss and hurl
  1602. words, many heavy words, into it, but they fall without a sound. I
  1603. hurl into it laughter, threats and moans. I spit into it. I fling into
  1604. it heaps of stones and rocks. I throw mountains into it--and still it
  1605. remains silent and empty. No, really, there is no bottom to this abyss
  1606. and we toil in vain, you and I, my friend!
  1607. ...But I see your smile and your cunning laugh: you _understand_ why
  1608. I spoke so sourly of loneliness.... Ah, 'tis love! And you want to ask
  1609. whether I have a mistress?
  1610. Yes: there are two. One is a Russian countess. The other, an Italian
  1611. countess. They differ only in the kind of perfume they use. But this
  1612. is such an immaterial matter that I love them both equally.
  1613. You probably wish to ask also whether I shall ever visit Magnus again?
  1614. Yes, I shall go to Magnus. I love him very much. It matters little
  1615. that his name is false and that his daughter has the audacity to
  1616. resemble the Madonna. I haven't enough of Wondergood in me to be
  1617. particular about a name--and I am too _human_ not to forgive the
  1618. efforts of others to appear _divine_.
  1619. I swear by eternal salvation that the one is worthy of the other!
  1620. February 21, 1914.
  1621. Rome, Villa Orsini.
  1622. Cardinal X., the closest friend and confidante of the Pope, has paid
  1623. me a visit. He was accompanied by two abbés. In general, he is a
  1624. personage whose attentions to me have brought me no small measure of
  1625. prestige.
  1626. I met His Eminence in the reception hall of my new palace. Toppi was
  1627. dancing all about the priests, snatching their blessings quicker than
  1628. a lover does the kisses of his mistress. Six devout hands hardly
  1629. managed to handle one Devil, grown pious, and before we had reached
  1630. the threshold of my study, he actually contrived to touch the belly of
  1631. the Cardinal. What ecstasy!
  1632. Cardinal X. speaks all the European languages and, out of respect
  1633. for the Stars and Stripes and my billions, he spoke English. He
  1634. began the conversation by congratulating me upon the acquisition of
  1635. the Villa Orsini and told me its history in detail for the past 200
  1636. years. This was quite unexpected, very long, at times confusing and
  1637. unintelligible, so that I was compelled, like a real American ass,
  1638. to blink constantly...but this gave me an opportunity to study my
  1639. distinguished and eminent visitor.
  1640. He is not at all old. He is broad shouldered, well built and in good
  1641. health. He has a large, almost square face, an olive skin, with a
  1642. bluish tinge upon his shaven cheeks, and his thin, but beautiful hands
  1643. reveal his Spanish blood. Before he dedicated himself to God, Cardinal
  1644. X. was a Spanish grandee and duke. But his dark eyes are too small and
  1645. too deeply set beneath his thick eyebrows and the distance between the
  1646. short nose and the thin lips is too long.... All this reminds me of
  1647. some one. But of whom? And what is this curious habit I have of being
  1648. reminded of some one? Probably a saint?
  1649. For a moment the cardinal was lost in thought and suddenly I recalled:
  1650. Yes, this is simply a shaven _monkey_! This must be its sad, boundless
  1651. pensiveness, _its_ evil gleam within the narrow pupil!
  1652. But in a moment the Cardinal laughed, jested and gesticulated like a
  1653. Neapolitan lazzarone--he was no longer telling me the history of the
  1654. palace. He was playing, he was interpreting it in facial expression
  1655. and dramatic monologue! He has short fingers, not at all like those
  1656. of a monkey, and when he gesticulates he rather resembles a penguin
  1657. while his voice reminds me of a talking parrot--Who are you, anyhow?
  1658. No, a monkey! He is laughing again and I observe that he really does
  1659. not know how to laugh. It is as if he had learned the human art of
  1660. laughter but yesterday. He likes it but experiences considerable
  1661. difficulty in extracting it from his throat. The sounds seem to choke
  1662. him. It is impossible not to echo this strange contagious laughter.
  1663. But it seems to break one's jaws and teeth and to petrify the muscles.
  1664. It was really remarkable. I was fascinated when Cardinal X. suddenly
  1665. cut short his lecture on the Villa Orsini by a fit of groaning
  1666. laughter which left him calm and silent. His thin fingers played with
  1667. his rosary, he remained quiet and gazed at me with a mien of deepest
  1668. reverence and gentle love: something akin to tears glistened in his
  1669. dark eyes. I had made an impression upon him. He loved me!
  1670. What was I to do? I gazed into his square, ape-like face. Kindliness
  1671. turned to love, love into passion, and still we maintained the
  1672. silence...another moment and I would have stifled him in my embrace!
  1673. "Well, here you are in Rome, Mr. Wondergood," sweetly sang the old
  1674. monkey, without altering his loving gaze.
  1675. "Here I am in Rome," I agreed obediently, continuing to gaze upon him
  1676. with the same sinful passion.
  1677. "And do you know, Mr. Wondergood, why I came here, i.e., in addition,
  1678. of course, to the pleasure I anticipated in making your acquaintance?"
  1679. I thought and with my gaze unchanged, replied:
  1680. "For money, Your Eminence?"
  1681. The Cardinal shook, as though flapping his wings, laughed, and slapped
  1682. his knee--and again lost himself in loving contemplation of my nose.
  1683. This dumb reverence, to which I replied with redoubled zest, began to
  1684. wield a peculiar influence upon me. I purposely tell you all this in
  1685. detail in order that you may understand my wish at that moment: to
  1686. begin cavorting about, to sing like a cock, to tell my best Arkansas
  1687. anecdote, or simply to invite His Eminence to remove his regalia and
  1688. play a game of poker!
  1689. "Your Eminence...."
  1690. "I love Americans, Mr. Wondergood."
  1691. "Your Eminence! In Arkansas they tell a story...."
  1692. "Ah, I see, you want to get down to business? I understand your
  1693. impatience. Money matters should never be postponed. Is that not so?"
  1694. "It depends entirely upon one's concern in these matters, Your
  1695. Eminence."
  1696. The square face of the Cardinal grew serious, and in his eyes there
  1697. gleamed for a moment a ray of loving reproach:
  1698. "I hope you are not vexed at my long dissertation, Mr. Wondergood. I
  1699. love so much the history of our great city that I could not forego the
  1700. pleasure...the things you see before you are not Rome. There is no
  1701. Rome, Mr. Wondergood. Once upon a time it was the Eternal City, but
  1702. to-day it is simply a large city and the greater it grows the further
  1703. it is from eternity. Where is that great Spirit which once illumined
  1704. it?"
  1705. I shall not narrate to you all the prattle of this purple parrot, his
  1706. gently-cannibal look, his grimaces and his laughter. All that the old
  1707. shaven monkey told me when it finally grew weary was:
  1708. "Your misfortune is that you love your fellow beings too much...."
  1709. "Love your neighbor...."
  1710. "Well, let neighbors love each other. Go on teaching that but why
  1711. do _you_ want to do it? When one loves too well one is blind to the
  1712. shortcomings of the beloved and still worse: one elevates these faults
  1713. to virtues. How can you reform people and make them happy without
  1714. realizing their shortcomings or by ignoring their vices? When one
  1715. loves, one pities and pity is the death of power. You see, I am quite
  1716. frank with you, Mr. Wondergood, and I repeat: love is weakness.
  1717. Love will get the money out of your pocket and will squander it...on
  1718. rouge! Leave love to the lower classes. Let them love each other.
  1719. Demand it of them, but you, you have risen to greater heights, gifted
  1720. with such power!..."
  1721. "But what can I do, Your Eminence? I am at a loss to understand it
  1722. all. From my childhood on, especially in church, I have had it drummed
  1723. into me that one must love his neighbor, and I believed it. And so...."
  1724. The Cardinal grew pensive. Like laughter, pensiveness was becoming to
  1725. him and rendered his square face immovable, filling it with dignity
  1726. and lonely grief. Leaning forward with his lips compressed and
  1727. supporting his chin upon his hand, he fixed his sharp, sleepy eyes
  1728. upon me. There was much sorrow in them. He seemed to be waiting for
  1729. the conclusion of my remark, and not having patience to do so, sighed
  1730. and blinked.
  1731. "Childhood, yes"...he mumbled, still blinking sorrowfully.
  1732. "Children, yes. But you are no longer a child. Forget this lesson. You
  1733. must acquire the heavenly gift of forgetfulness, you know."
  1734. He gnashed his white teeth and significantly scratched his nose with
  1735. his thin finger, continuing seriously:
  1736. "But it's all the same, Mr. Wondergood. You, yourself cannot
  1737. accomplish much.... Yes, yes! One must _know_ people to make them
  1738. happy. Isn't that your noble aim? But the Church alone _knows_
  1739. people. She has been a mother and teacher for thousands of years. Her
  1740. _experience_ is the only one worth while, and, I may say, the only
  1741. reliable one. As far as I know your career, Mr. Wondergood, you are
  1742. an experienced cattle man. And you know, of course, what _experience_
  1743. means even in the matter of handling such simple creatures as...."
  1744. "As swine...."
  1745. He was startled--and suddenly began to bark, to cough, to whine: he
  1746. was laughing again.
  1747. "Swine? that's fine, that's splendid, Mr. Wondergood, but do not
  1748. forget that one finds the devil, too, in swine!"
  1749. Ceasing his laughter he proceeded:
  1750. "In teaching others, we learn ourselves. I do not contend that all the
  1751. methods of education and training employed by the Church were equally
  1752. successful. No, we often made mistakes, but every one of our mistakes
  1753. served to improve our methods...we are approaching perfection, Mr.
  1754. Wondergood, we are approaching perfection!"
  1755. I hinted at the rapid growth of rationalism which, it seemed to me,
  1756. threatened to destroy the "perfection" of the Church, but Cardinal X.
  1757. again flapped his wings and almost screeched with laughter.
  1758. "Rationalism! You are a most talented humorist, Mr. Wondergood! Tell
  1759. me, was not the celebrated Mark Twain a countryman of yours? Yes,
  1760. yes! Rationalism! Just think a moment. From what root is this word
  1761. derived and what does it mean--_ratio_? _An nescis, mi filis quantilla
  1762. sapientia rigitur orbis?_ Ah, my dear Wondergood! To speak of ratio on
  1763. this earth is more out of place than it would be to speak of a rope in
  1764. the home of a man who has just been hanged!"
  1765. I watched the old monkey enjoying himself and I enjoyed myself too.
  1766. I studied this mixture of a monkey, parrot, penguin, fox, wolf--and
  1767. what not? And it was really funny: I love merry suicides. For a long
  1768. time we continued our fun at the expense of _ratio_ until His Eminence
  1769. calmed himself and assumed the tone of a teacher:
  1770. "As anti-Semitism is the Socialism of fools...."
  1771. "And are you familiar...?"
  1772. "I told you we are approaching perfection!... So is rationalism the
  1773. wisdom of fools. The wise man goes further. The ratio constitutes the
  1774. holiday dress of a fool. It is the coat he dons in the presence of
  1775. others, but he really lives, sleeps, works, loves and dies without
  1776. any ratio at all. Do you fear death, Mr. Wondergood?"
  1777. I did not feel like replying and remained silent.
  1778. "You need not feel ashamed, Mr. Wondergood: one should fear death. As
  1779. long as there is _death_...."
  1780. The features of the monkey's face suddenly contracted and in his eyes
  1781. there appeared horror and wrath: as if some one had seized him by the
  1782. back of his neck and thrust him into the darkness and terror of a
  1783. primeval forest. He _feared_ death and his terror was dark, evil and
  1784. boundless. I needed no words of explanation and no other evidence:
  1785. One look upon this distorted, befogged and confused _human_ face was
  1786. sufficient to compel reverence for the Great Irrational! And how weak
  1787. is _their_ steadiness: My Wondergood also grew pale and cringed...ah,
  1788. the rogue! He was _now_ seeking protection and help from Me!
  1789. "Will you have some wine, Your Eminence?"
  1790. But His Eminence was himself again. He curved his thin lips into a
  1791. smile and shook his head in the negative. And suddenly he broke out
  1792. again with surprising fury:
  1793. "And as long as there is death, the Church is unshakable! Let all
  1794. of you who seek to undermine her, tear her, and blow her up--you
  1795. cannot conquer her. And even if you should succeed in destroying
  1796. her, the first to perish beneath her ruins would be yourselves. Who
  1797. will then defend you against death? Who will give you sweet faith
  1798. in immortality, in eternal life, in everlasting bliss?... Believe
  1799. me, Mr. Wondergood, the world is not seeking your ratio. It is all a
  1800. misunderstanding!"
  1801. "But what does it seek, Your Eminence?"
  1802. "What does it want? _Mundus vult decipi_...you know our Latin? the
  1803. world wants to be fooled!"
  1804. And the old monkey again grew merry, begun to wink, to beam with
  1805. satisfaction, slapped his knee and burst into laughter. I also
  1806. laughed. The rascal was so funny!
  1807. "And is it you," said I, "who wants to fool it?"
  1808. The Cardinal again grew serious and replied sadly:
  1809. "The Holy See needs funds, Mr. Wondergood. The world, while it has
  1810. not grown rational, has become weaker in its faith and it is somewhat
  1811. difficult to manage it."
  1812. He signed and continued:
  1813. "You are not a Socialist, Mr. Wondergood? Ah, do not be ashamed. We
  1814. are all Socialists now. We are all on the side of the hungry: the
  1815. more satisfied they will be, the more they will fear _death_. You
  1816. understand?"
  1817. He flung out his arms and drew them in again, like a net filled with
  1818. fish and said:
  1819. "We are fishermen, Mr. Wondergood, humble fishermen!... And tell me:
  1820. do you regard the desire for _liberty_ as a virtue or a vice?"
  1821. "The entire civilized world regards the desire for liberty as a
  1822. virtue," I replied angrily.
  1823. "I expected no other reply from a citizen of the United States. But
  1824. don't you personally believe that he who will give man limitless
  1825. _freedom_ will also bring him _death_? _Death_ alone releases all
  1826. earthly ties. And don't you regard the words 'freedom' and 'death' as
  1827. synonymous?"
  1828. "I speak of political liberty."
  1829. "Of political liberty? Oh, we have no objection to that. You can have
  1830. as much as you please of that! Of course, provided men themselves ask
  1831. for it. Are you sure they really want it? If they do, please help
  1832. yourself! It is all nonsense and calumny to say that the Holy See is
  1833. in favor of reaction.... I had the honor to be present on the balcony
  1834. of the Vatican when His Holiness blessed the first French aëroplane
  1835. that appeared over Rome, and the next Pope, I am sure, will gladly
  1836. bless the barricades. The time of Galileo has passed, Mr. Wondergood,
  1837. and we all know now that the earth does move!"
  1838. He drew a circle in the air with his finger, indicating the revolution
  1839. of the earth.
  1840. I said:
  1841. "You must permit me to think over your proposal, Your Eminence."
  1842. Cardinal X. jumped up from his chair and gently touched my shoulder
  1843. with two of his aristocratic fingers:
  1844. "Oh, I am not hurrying you, my good Mr. Wondergood. It was you who
  1845. were hurrying me. I am even convinced that you will at first refuse
  1846. me, but when, after some little experience, you will have realized the
  1847. real _needs_ of man.... I, too, love man, Mr. Wondergood, to be sure,
  1848. not so passionately and...."
  1849. He departed with the same grimaces, bearing himself with dignity and
  1850. dispensing blessings all about him. I saw him again through the window
  1851. at the entrance of the palace, while the coachman was bringing up the
  1852. carriage: he was speaking into the ear of one of his abbés, whose face
  1853. resembled a black plate. The Cardinal's countenance no longer reminded
  1854. me of a monkey: it was rather the face of a shaven, hungry, tired
  1855. lion. This able actor needed no dressing room for his make-up! Behind
  1856. him stood a tall lackey, all dressed in black, reminding one of an
  1857. English baronet. Whenever His Eminence turned about in his direction,
  1858. he would respectfully lift his faded silk hat.
  1859. * * * * *
  1860. Following the departure of His Eminence I was surrounded by a merry
  1861. group of friends, with whom I had filled the spare rooms of my
  1862. palace for the purpose of alleviating my loneliness and ennui. Toppi
  1863. looked proud and happy: he was so satiated with blessings that he
  1864. fairly bulged. The artists, decorators and others--whatever you call
  1865. them--were greatly impressed by the Cardinal's visit, and spoke with
  1866. much glee of the remarkable expression of his face and the grandeur of
  1867. his manner! The Pope himself.... But when I remarked with the naïveté
  1868. of a Redskin that he reminded me of a monkey, the shrewd canailes
  1869. burst into loud laughter and one of them immediately sketched a
  1870. portrait of Cardinal X.--in a cage. I am not a moralist to judge other
  1871. people for their petty sins: they will get what is due them on their
  1872. Judgment Day--and I was much pleased by the cleverness of the laughing
  1873. beasts. They do not appear to have much faith in _love_ for one's
  1874. _fellow beings_ and if I should rummage about among their drawings, I
  1875. would probably find a pretty good sketch of the ass Wondergood. I like
  1876. that. I find relief in communion with my little, pleasant sinners,
  1877. from the babbling of the great and disagreeable saints...whose hands
  1878. are covered with blood.
  1879. Then Toppi asked me: "And how much does he want?"
  1880. "He wants all!"
  1881. Toppi said with determination:
  1882. "Don't you give him all. He promised to make me a prelate, but, all
  1883. the same, don't you give him all. One should save his money."
  1884. Every day I have unpleasant experiences with Toppi: people are
  1885. constantly foisting counterfeit coin on him. When they first gave him
  1886. some, he was greatly perturbed and was impressed with what I said to
  1887. him.
  1888. "You really astonish me, Toppi," I said, "it is ridiculous for an old
  1889. devil like you to accept counterfeit money from human beings, and
  1890. allow yourself to be fooled. You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
  1891. Toppi. I fear you will make a beggar of me."
  1892. Now, however, Toppi, entangled in the mesh of the counterfeit and the
  1893. genuine, seeks to preserve both the one and the other: he is quite
  1894. clever in money matters and the Cardinal tried in vain to bribe him.
  1895. Toppi--a prelate!...
  1896. But the shaven monkey does really want my three billions. Apparently
  1897. the belly of the Holy See is rumbling with hunger. I gazed long at
  1898. the well executed caricature of the Cardinal and the longer I gazed,
  1899. the less I liked it: no, there was something missing. The artist had
  1900. sensed the ridiculous pretty well, but I do not see that fire of spite
  1901. and malice which is in constant play beneath the gray ashes of terror.
  1902. The bestial and the human is here, but it is not molded into that
  1903. _extraordinary_ mask which, now that a long distance separates me from
  1904. the Cardinal and I no longer hear his heavy laughter, is beginning to
  1905. exercise a most disagreeable influence over me. Or is it because the
  1906. extraordinary is inexpressible through pencil?
  1907. In reality he is a cheap rascal, no better than a plain pickpocket,
  1908. and told me nothing new: he is human enough and wise enough to
  1909. cultivate that contemptuous laughter of his at the expense of the
  1910. rational. But he revealed _himself_ to me and do not take offense
  1911. at my American rudeness, dear reader: somewhere behind his broad
  1912. shoulders, cringing with terror, there gleamed also your dear
  1913. countenance. It was like a dream, you understand: it was as if some
  1914. one were strangling you, and you, in stifled voice, cried to heaven:
  1915. Murder! Police! Ah, you do not know that _third_, which is neither
  1916. life nor death, and I know _who_ it was that was strangling you with
  1917. his bony fingers!
  1918. But do I know? Oh, laugh at him who is laughing at you, comrade. I
  1919. fear your turn is coming to have some fun at my expense. Do I know? I
  1920. came to you from the innermost depths, merry and serene, blessed in
  1921. the consciousness of my Immortality.... And I am already hesitating. I
  1922. am already trembling before this shaven monkey's face which dares to
  1923. express its own low horror in such audaciously grand style: Ah, I have
  1924. not even sold my Immortality: I have simply crushed it in my sleep, as
  1925. does a foolish mother her newborn babe. It has simply faded beneath
  1926. your sun and rains. It has become a transparent cloth without design,
  1927. unfit to cover the nakedness of a respectable gentleman! This reeking
  1928. Wondergood swamp in which I am submerged to my eyes, envelops me with
  1929. mire, befogs my consciousness and stifles me with the unbearable
  1930. odors of decay. When do you usually begin to decay, my friend: on
  1931. the second, the third day or does it depend upon the climate? I am
  1932. already in the process of decay, and I am nauseated by the odor of my
  1933. entrails. Or are you so used to the work of the _worms_ that you take
  1934. it for the elevation of thought and inspiration?
  1935. My God, I forgot that I may have some fair readers, too! I most humbly
  1936. beg your pardon, worthy folk, for this uncalled for discussion of
  1937. odors. I am a most unpleasant conversationalist, milady, and as a
  1938. perfumer I am worse...no, still worse: I am a disgusting mixture of
  1939. Satan and an American bear, and I know not how to appreciate your good
  1940. taste....
  1941. No, I am still Satan! I still know that I am immortal and when my will
  1942. shall command me I will strangle myself with my own bony fingers. But
  1943. if I _should forget_?
  1944. Then I shall distribute my wealth among the poor and with you, my
  1945. friend, shall crawl up to the old shaven monkey. I shall cling with my
  1946. American face to his soft slipper, emitting blessings. I shall weep.
  1947. I shall rave with horror: "Save me from Death!" And the old monkey,
  1948. brushing the hair from his face, reclining comfortably, gleaming with
  1949. a holy light, illuminating all about it--and itself trembling with
  1950. fear and horror--will hastily continue to fool the world, the world
  1951. which so loves to be fooled!
  1952. But I am jesting. I wish to be serious now. I like Cardinal X. and I
  1953. shall permit him to begild himself with my gold. I am weary. I must
  1954. sleep. My bed and Wondergood await me. I shall extinguish the light
  1955. and in the darkness I shall listen for a moment to the clicking of
  1956. the counting machine within my breast. And then will come the great
  1957. pianist, a drunken genius, and begin drumming upon the black keys
  1958. of my brain. He knows everything and has forgotten everything, this
  1959. ingenious drunkard, and confuses the most inspiring landscapes with a
  1960. swamp.
  1961. That is--a dream.
  1962. II
  1963. February 22.
  1964. Rome, Villa Orsini.
  1965. Magnus was not at home. I was received by Maria.
  1966. A glorious peace has suddenly descended upon me. In wondrous calm I
  1967. breathe at this moment. Like a schooner, its sails lowered, I doze in
  1968. the midday heat of the slumbering ocean. Not a stir. Not a ripple. I
  1969. fear to move or to open wide my eyes, dazzled by the rays of the sun.
  1970. I breathe silently, and I would not rouse the slightest wave upon the
  1971. boundless smoothness of the sea. And quietly I lay down my pen.
  1972. February 23.
  1973. Villa Orsini.
  1974. Thomas Magnus was not at home and, to my great surprise, I was
  1975. received by Maria.
  1976. I do not suppose you would be interested in how I greeted her and what
  1977. I mumbled in the first few moments of our meeting. I can only say that
  1978. I mumbled and that I felt a strong impulse to laugh. I could not lift
  1979. my eyes to gaze upon Maria until my thoughts cast off their soiled
  1980. garb and donned clean attire. As you see, I did not lose consciousness
  1981. altogether! But in vain did I take these precautions: _that_ torture
  1982. did not follow. Maria's gaze was clear and simple and it contained
  1983. neither searching, penetrating fire nor fatal forgiveness. It was calm
  1984. and clear, like the sky of the Campagna and--I do not know how it
  1985. happened--it penetrated my entire being.
  1986. She met me in the garden. We sat down by the gate, from which vantage
  1987. point we had a good view of the Campagna. When you gaze at the
  1988. Campagna you cannot prattle nonsense. No, it was she who gazed at the
  1989. Campagna and I gazed into her eyes--clear to the seventh sky, where
  1990. you end the count of your heavens. We were silent or--if you regard
  1991. the following as conversation--we spoke:
  1992. "Are those mountains?"
  1993. "Yes, those are the mountains of Albania. And there--is Tivoli."
  1994. She picked out little white houses in the distance and pointed them
  1995. out to me and I felt a peculiar calm and joy in Maria's gaze. The
  1996. suspicious resemblance of Maria to the Madonna no longer troubled
  1997. me: how can I possibly be troubled by the fact that you resemble
  1998. _yourself_? And came a moment when a great peace of mind descended
  1999. upon _me_. I have no words of comparison whereby to reveal to you that
  2000. great and bright calm.... I am forever conjuring up before me that
  2001. accursed schooner with its lowered sails, on which I never really
  2002. sailed, for I am afraid of seasickness! Or is it because on this night
  2003. of my loneliness, my road is being illuminated by the _Star of the
  2004. Seas_? Well, yes, I was a schooner, if you so desire it, and if this
  2005. is not agreeable to you I was _All_. Besides I was _Nothing_. You see
  2006. what nonsense emerges out of all this talk when Wondergood begins to
  2007. seek words and comparisons.
  2008. I was so calm that I even soon began to gaze into Maria's eyes:
  2009. I simply _believed_ them. This is deeper than mere gazing. When
  2010. necessary I shall find those eyes again. In the meantime I shall
  2011. remain a schooner with sails lowered. I shall be _All_ and I shall be
  2012. _Nothing_. Only once did a slight breeze stir my sails, but only for
  2013. a moment: that was when Maria pointed out the Tiberian road to me,
  2014. cutting the green hills like a white thread, and asked whether I had
  2015. ever traversed it before.
  2016. "Yes, occasionally, Signorina."
  2017. "I often gaze upon this road and think that it must be extremely
  2018. pleasant to traverse it by automobile."
  2019. "Have you a swift car, Signor?"
  2020. "Oh, yes, Signorina, very swift! But those," I continued in gentle
  2021. reproach, "who are themselves limitless distances and endlessness are
  2022. in no need of any movement."
  2023. Maria and an automobile! A winged angel entering a trolley car for
  2024. the sake of speed! A swallow riding on a turtle! An arrow on the
  2025. humpy back of a hod carrier! Ah, all comparisons lie: why speak of
  2026. swallows and arrows, why speak of any movement for Maria, who embraces
  2027. all distances! But it is only now that I thought of the trolley and
  2028. the turtle. At that time I felt so calm and peaceful, I was deep in
  2029. such bliss that I could think of nothing except that countenance of
  2030. eternity and undying light!
  2031. A great calm came upon Me on that day and nothing could disturb my
  2032. endless bliss. It was not long before Thomas Magnus returned, and a
  2033. flying fish, gleaming for a moment above the ocean, could no more
  2034. disturb its blue smoothness than did Magnus disturb me. I _received_
  2035. him into my heart. I swallowed him calmly and felt no heavier burden
  2036. in my stomach than a whale does after swallowing a herring. It was
  2037. gratifying to find Magnus hospitable and merry. He pressed my hand
  2038. and his eyes were bright and kind. Even his face seemed less pale and
  2039. not as weary as usual.
  2040. I was invited to breakfast...lest it worry you, let me say right
  2041. now that I remained until late in the evening. When Maria had retired
  2042. I told Magnus of the visit of Cardinal X. His merry face darkened
  2043. slightly and in his eyes appeared his former hostile flame.
  2044. "Cardinal X.? He _came_ to see you?"
  2045. I narrated to him in detail my conversation with "the shaven monkey,"
  2046. and remarked that he had impressed me as a scoundrel of no small
  2047. caliber. Magnus frowned and said sternly:
  2048. "You laugh in vain, Mr. Wondergood. I have long known Cardinal X.
  2049. and...I have been keeping a close eye on him. He is evil, cruel
  2050. and dangerous. Despite his ridiculous exterior, he is as cunning,
  2051. merciless and revengeful as Satan!"
  2052. And you, too, Magnus! Like Satan! This blue-faced, shaven
  2053. orang-outang, this caressing gorilla, this monkey cavorting before a
  2054. looking-glass! But I have exhausted my capacity for insult. Magnus'
  2055. remark fell like a stone to the bottom of my bliss. I listened further:
  2056. "His flirting with the Socialists, his jokes at the expense of Galileo
  2057. are all lies. Just as the enemies of Cromwell hanged him after his
  2058. death, so would Cardinal X. burn the bones of Galileo with immense
  2059. satisfaction: to this day he regards the movement of the earth as a
  2060. personal affront. It is an old school, Mr. Wondergood; he will stop at
  2061. nothing to overcome obstacles, be it poison or murder, which he will
  2062. take care to attribute to the misfortune of accident. You smile but
  2063. I cannot discuss the Vatican smilingly, not so long as it contains
  2064. such...and it will always produce some one like Cardinal X. Look
  2065. out, Mr. Wondergood: You have landed within the sphere of his vision
  2066. and interests, and, let me assure you, that scores of eyes are now
  2067. watching you...perhaps me, too. Be on your guard, my friend!"
  2068. Magnus was quite excited. Fervently I shook his hand:
  2069. "Ah, Magnus!... But when will you agree to help me?"
  2070. "But you know that I do not like human beings. It is _you_ who loves
  2071. them Mr. Wondergood, not I."
  2072. A gleam of irony appeared in his eyes.
  2073. "The Cardinal says that it is not at all necessary to love people in
  2074. order to be happy.... The contrary, he says!"
  2075. "And who told you that I want to make people happy? Again, it is _you_
  2076. who wants to do that, not I. Hand over your billions to Cardinal X.
  2077. His recipe for happiness is not worse than other patent medicines. To
  2078. be sure, his recipe has one disadvantage: while dispensing _happiness_
  2079. it destroys _people_...but is that important? You are too much of a
  2080. business man, Mr. Wondergood, and I see that you are not sufficiently
  2081. familiar with the world of our inventors of the Best Means for the
  2082. Happiness of Mankind: These means are more numerous than the so-called
  2083. best tonics for the growth of hair. I myself was a dreamer at one
  2084. time and invented one or two in my youth...but I was short on
  2085. chemistry and badly singed my hair in an explosion. I am very glad I
  2086. did not come across your billions in _those_ days. I am joking, Mr.
  2087. Wondergood, but if you wish to be serious, here is my answer: keep on
  2088. growing and multiplying your hogs, make four of your three billions,
  2089. continue selling your conserves, provided they are not too rotten, and
  2090. cease worrying about the happiness of Mankind. As long as the world
  2091. likes good ham it will not deny you its love and admiration!"
  2092. "And how about those who have no means to buy ham?"
  2093. "What do you care about them? It is their belly--pardon me for the
  2094. expression--that is rumbling with hunger, not yours. I congratulate
  2095. you upon your new home: I know the Villa Orsini very well. It is a
  2096. magnificent relic of Old Rome."
  2097. I balked at the prospect of another lecture on my palace! Yes, Magnus
  2098. had again shoved me aside. He did it brusquely and roughly. But his
  2099. voice lacked sternness and he gazed at me softly and kindly. Well,
  2100. what of it? To the devil with humanity, its happiness and its ham!
  2101. I shall try later to bore an entrance into Magnus' brain. In the
  2102. meantime leave me alone with my great peace and...Maria. Boundless
  2103. peace and...Satan!--isn't that a splendid touch in my play? And what
  2104. kind of a liar is he who can fool only others? To lie to oneself and
  2105. believe it--that is an art!
  2106. After breakfast all _three_ of us walked over the downy hills and
  2107. slopes of the Campagna. It was still early Spring and only little
  2108. white flowers gently brightened the young, green earth. A soft breeze
  2109. diffused the scents of the season, while little houses gleamed in
  2110. distant Albano. Maria walked in front of us, stopping now and then and
  2111. casting her heavenly eyes upon everything they could envisage. When I
  2112. return to Rome I shall order my brush-pusher to paint Madonna thus:
  2113. On a carpet of soft green and little white flowers. Magnus was so
  2114. frank and merry that I again drew his attention to Maria's resemblance
  2115. to the Madonna and told him of the miserable brush-pushers in
  2116. search of a model. He laughed, agreed with me in my opinion of the
  2117. aforementioned resemblance, and grew wistful.
  2118. "It is a _fatal_ resemblance, Mr. Wondergood. You remember that heavy
  2119. moment when I spoke to you of _blood_? Already there is blood at the
  2120. feet of Maria...the blood of one noble youth whose memory Maria and
  2121. I cherish. There are fatal faces, there are fatal _resemblances_ which
  2122. confuse our souls and lead to the abyss of self destruction. I am the
  2123. father of Maria, and yet I myself hardly dare to touch her brow with
  2124. my lips. What insurmountable barriers does love raise for itself when
  2125. it dares to lift its eyes upon Maria?"
  2126. This was the only moment of that happy day when my ocean became
  2127. overcast with heavy clouds, as tangled as the beard of "Mad King
  2128. Lear," while a wild wind shook the sails of my schooner. But I lifted
  2129. my eyes to Maria, I met her gaze. It was bright and calm, like the
  2130. sky above us--and the wild wind disappeared without trace, bearing
  2131. away with it fragments of the darkness. I do not know whether you
  2132. understand these sea comparisons, which I consider quite inadequate.
  2133. Let me explain: I again grew quite calm. What is that noble Roman
  2134. youth to me, who himself unable to find _comparisons_ was hurled over
  2135. the head of his Pegasus? I am a white-winged schooner and beneath me
  2136. is an entire ocean, and was it not written of Her: the _Incomparable_?
  2137. The day was long and quiet and I was charmed with the precision with
  2138. which the sun rolled down from its height to the rim of the earth,
  2139. with the measured pace with which the stars covered the heavens, the
  2140. large stars first, then the little ones, until the whole sky sparkled
  2141. and gleamed. Slowly grew the darkness. Then came the rosy moon, at
  2142. first somewhat rusty, then brilliant, and swam majestically over the
  2143. road made free and warm by the sun. But more than anything else did
  2144. I and Magnus feel charmed when we sat in the half-darkened room and
  2145. heard Maria: she played the harp and sang.
  2146. And listening to the strains of the harp I realized why man likes
  2147. music produced by taut strings: I was myself a taut string and even
  2148. when the finger no longer touched me, the sound continued to vibrate
  2149. and died so slowly that I can still hear it in the depths of my soul.
  2150. And suddenly I saw that the entire air was filled with taut and
  2151. trembling strings: they extend from star to star, scatter themselves
  2152. over the earth and penetrate my heart...like a network of telephone
  2153. wires through a central station,--if you want more simple comparisons.
  2154. And there was _something else_ I understood when I heard _Maria's_
  2155. voice....
  2156. No, you are simply an animal, Wondergood! When I recall your loud
  2157. complaints against love and its songs, cursed with the curse of
  2158. monotony--is that not your own expression?--I feel like sending you
  2159. off to a barn. You are a dull and dirty animal and I am ashamed that
  2160. for a whole hour I listened to your silly bellowing. You may hold
  2161. words in contempt, you may curse your embraces, but do not touch Love,
  2162. my friend: only through love has it been given to you to obtain a
  2163. glimpse into Eternity! Away, my friend! Leave Satan to himself, he
  2164. who in the very blackest depths of man has suddenly come upon new and
  2165. unexpected flames. Away! You must not see the _joy_ and _astonishment_
  2166. of Satan!
  2167. The hour was late. The moon indicated midnight when I left Magnus
  2168. and ordered the chauffeur to drive by way of the Numentinian road: I
  2169. feared lest this great calm might slip away from me, and I wanted to
  2170. overtake it in the depths of the Campagna. But the speed of the car
  2171. broke the silence and I left my machine. It went to sleep at once
  2172. beneath the light of the moon over its own shadow and looked like
  2173. a huge, gray stone barring the road. For the last time its lights
  2174. gleamed upon Me and it became transformed into something invisible. I
  2175. was left alone with my shadow.
  2176. We walked along the white road, I and my shadow, stopping occasionally
  2177. and then again resuming our march. I sat down on a stone along the
  2178. road and the black shadow hid behind my back. And here a great quiet
  2179. descended upon the earth, upon the world. Upon my chilled brow I felt
  2180. the cool touch of the moon's kiss.
  2181. March 2.
  2182. Rome, Villa Orsini.
  2183. I pass my days in deep solitude. My earthly existence is beginning
  2184. to trouble me. With every hour I seem to _forget_ what I have left
  2185. behind the wall of _human_ things. My _eyesight_ is weakening. I can
  2186. hardly see behind that wall. The shadows behind it scarcely move
  2187. and I can no longer distinguish their outline. With every second my
  2188. sense of _hearing_ grows duller. I hear the quiet squeak of a mouse,
  2189. fussing beneath the floor but I am deaf to the thunders rolling above
  2190. my head. The silence of delusion envelops me and I desperately strain
  2191. my ears to catch the voices of frankness. I left them behind that
  2192. impenetrable wall. With each moment _Truth_ flees from Me. In vain
  2193. my words try to overtake it: they merely shoot by. In vain I seek to
  2194. surround it in the tight embraces of my thoughts and rivet it with
  2195. chains: the prison disappears like air and my embraces envelop nothing
  2196. but emptiness. Only yesterday it seemed to me that I had caught my
  2197. prey. I imprisoned it and fastened it to the wall with a heavy chain,
  2198. but when I came to view it in the morning--I found nothing but a
  2199. shackled skeleton. The rusty chains dangled loosely from its neck
  2200. while the skull was nodding to me in brazen laughter.
  2201. You see, I am again seeking comparisons, only to have the _Truth_
  2202. escape me! But what can I do when I have left all my weapons at _home_
  2203. and must resort to your poor arsenal? Let God himself don this human
  2204. form and He will immediately begin to speak to you in exquisite French
  2205. or Yiddish and He will be unable to say _more_ than it is possible
  2206. to say in exquisite French or Yiddish. God! And I am only Satan, a
  2207. modest, careless, human Devil!
  2208. Of course, it was careless of me. But when I looked upon _your
  2209. human_ life from _beyond_...no, wait: You and I have just been
  2210. caught in a lie, old man! When I said from _Beyond_ you understood
  2211. at once it must have been very far away. Yes? You may have already
  2212. determined, perhaps, the approximate number of miles. Have you not
  2213. at your disposal a limitless number of zeros? Ah, it is not true.
  2214. My "_Beyond_" is as close as your "_Here_," and is no further away
  2215. than _this_ very spot. You see what nonsense, what a lie you and I
  2216. are pirouetting about! Cast away your meter and your scales and only
  2217. listen as if behind your back there were no ticking of a clock and in
  2218. your breast there were no counting machine. And so: when I looked upon
  2219. your life from _Beyond_ it appeared to Me a great and merry game of
  2220. immortal fragments.
  2221. Do you know what a puppets' show is? When one doll breaks, its place
  2222. is taken by another, but the play goes on. The music is not silenced,
  2223. the auditors continue to applaud and it is all very interesting. Does
  2224. the spectator concern himself about the fate of the fragments, thrust
  2225. upon the scrap heap? He simply looks on in enjoyment. So it was with
  2226. me, too. I heard the beat of the drums, and watched the antics of the
  2227. clowns. And I so love immortal play that I felt like becoming an actor
  2228. myself. Ah, I did not know then that it is not a _play_ at all. And
  2229. that the scrap heap was terrible when one becomes a puppet himself
  2230. and that the broken fragments reeked with blood. You deceived me, my
  2231. friend!
  2232. But you are astonished. You knit your brow in contempt and ask: Who
  2233. is this Satan who does not _know_ such _simple_ things? You are
  2234. accustomed to respect the Devil. You listen to the commonest dog as
  2235. if he were speaking ex cathedra. You have surrendered to me your
  2236. last dollar as if I were a professor of white and black magic and
  2237. suddenly I reveal myself an ignoramus in the most elementary matters!
  2238. I understand your disappointment. I myself have grown to respect
  2239. mediums and cards. I am ashamed to confess that I cannot perform a
  2240. single trick or kill a bedbug by simply casting my eye upon it, but
  2241. even with my finger. But what matters most to me is truth: Yes, I did
  2242. not know your _simplest_ things! Apparently the blame for this is for
  2243. that _divide_ which separates us. Just as you do not know _my_ real
  2244. Name and cannot pronounce a simple thing like that, so I did not know
  2245. _yours_, my earthly shadow, and only now, in great ecstasy do I begin
  2246. to grasp the wealth that is in you. Think of it: such a simple matter
  2247. as counting I had to learn from Wondergood. I would not even be able
  2248. to button my attire if it were not for the experienced and dexterous
  2249. fingers of that fine chap Wondergood!
  2250. Now I am human, like you. The limited sensation of my being I regard
  2251. as my _knowledge_ and with respect I now touch my own nose, when
  2252. necessity arises: it is not merely a nose--it is an axiom! I am now
  2253. myself a struggling doll in a theater of marionettes. My porcelain
  2254. head moves to the right and to the left. My hands move up and down. I
  2255. am merry, I am gay. I am at play. I know everything...except: whose
  2256. hand it is that pulls the string behind Me. And in the distance I can
  2257. see the scrap heap from which protrude two little feet clad in ball
  2258. slippers....
  2259. No, this is not the _play_ of the _Immortal_ that I sought. It no
  2260. more resembles merriment than do the convulsions of an epileptic
  2261. a good negro dance! Here any one is what he is and here every one
  2262. seeks not to be what he is. And it is this endless process of fraud
  2263. that I mistook for a merry theater: what a mistake, how silly it was
  2264. of "almighty, immortal"...Satan! Here every one is dragging every
  2265. one else to court: the living are dragging the dead, the dead--the
  2266. living. The history of the former is the history of the latter. And
  2267. God, too, is History! And this endless nonsense, this dirty stream of
  2268. false witnesses, of perjurers, of false judges and false scoundrels I
  2269. mistook for the _play_ of immortals! Or have I landed in the _wrong_
  2270. place? Tell Me, stranger: whither does _this_ road lead? You are pale.
  2271. Your trembling finger points in the direction of...ah, the scrap
  2272. heap!
  2273. Yesterday, I questioned Toppi about his former life, the first time he
  2274. donned the human form: I wanted to know how a doll feels when its head
  2275. is cracking and the thread which moves it is severed. We lit our pipes
  2276. and with steins of beer before us, like two good Germans, we ventured
  2277. into the realm of philosophy. It developed, however, that this
  2278. numbskull has _forgotten_ everything and my questions only confused
  2279. him.
  2280. "Is it possible that you have really forgotten everything, Toppi!"
  2281. "Wait till you die and you will learn all about it yourself. I do not
  2282. like to think of it. What good is it?"
  2283. "Then it is not good?"
  2284. "And have you ever heard of any one praising it?"
  2285. "Quite true. No one has yet showered praises upon it."
  2286. "And no one will, I know!"
  2287. We sat silent.
  2288. "And do you remember, Toppi, whence you have come?"
  2289. "From Illinois,--the same place you come from."
  2290. "No, I am speaking of _something else_. Do you remember whence you
  2291. came? Do you recollect your real Name?"
  2292. Toppi looked at me strangely, paled slightly and proceeded to clean
  2293. his pipe. Then he arose and without lifting his eyes, said:
  2294. "I beg you not to speak to me _thus_, Mr. Wondergood. I am an
  2295. honest citizen of the United States and I do not understand your
  2296. insinuations."
  2297. But he remembers. Not in vain did he grow pale. He is seeking to
  2298. forget and will forget soon enough! This double play of earth and
  2299. heaven is too much for him and he has surrendered entirely to the
  2300. earth! There will come a time when he will take me off to an insane
  2301. asylum or betray me to Cardinal X. if I dare to speak to him of Satan.
  2302. "I respect you, Toppi. You are quite a man," I said and kissed his
  2303. brow: I always kiss the brow of people I love.
  2304. Again I departed for the green Campagna desert: I follow the best
  2305. models: when I am ill at ease I go into the desert. There I called
  2306. for Satan and cursed his name but he would not answer me. I lay there
  2307. long in the dust, pleading, when from somewhere in the depths of the
  2308. desert I heard the muffled tread of feet, and a bright light helped
  2309. Me to arise. And again I saw the Eden I had left behind, its green
  2310. tents and unfading sunrise, its quiet lights upon the placid waters.
  2311. And again I _heard_ the silent murmurs of lips born of Immaculate
  2312. Conception while toward my eyes I saw approaching Truth. And I
  2313. stretched out my hands to Her and pleaded: Give me back my liberty!--
  2314. "_Maria!_"
  2315. Who called: Maria? Satan again departed, the lights upon the placid
  2316. waters were extinguished and Truth, frightened, disappeared--and again
  2317. I sit upon the earth wearing my human form and gazing dully upon the
  2318. painted world. And on my knees rested my shackled hands.
  2319. "Maria!"
  2320. ...It is painful for me to admit that all this is really an
  2321. invention: the coming of Satan with his "light and ringing step," the
  2322. gardens of Eden and my shackled hands. But I needed your attention
  2323. and I could not get it without these gardens of Eden and these
  2324. chains, the two extremes of your life. The gardens of Eden--how
  2325. beautiful! Chains--how terrible! Moreover, all this talk is much more
  2326. entertaining than merely squatting on a hill, cigar in one's _free_
  2327. hand, thinking lazily and yawning while awaiting the arrival of the
  2328. chauffeur. And as far as _Maria_ is concerned, I brought her into
  2329. the situation because from afar I could see the black cypress trees
  2330. above the Magnus home. An involuntary association of ideas...you
  2331. understand.
  2332. Can a man with such sight really see Satan? Can a person of such dull
  2333. _ear_ hear the so-called "murmurs" born of Immaculate Conception?
  2334. Nonsense! And, please, I beg of you, call Me just Wondergood. Call me
  2335. just Wondergood until the day when I crack my skull open with that
  2336. plaything which opens the _most narrow_ door into _limitless_ space.
  2337. Call me just Henry Wondergood, of Illinois: you will find that I will
  2338. respond promptly and obligingly.
  2339. But if, some day, you should find my head crushed, examine carefully
  2340. its _fragments_: there, in red ink will be engraved the proud name of
  2341. Satan! Bend thy head, in reverence and bow to him--but do not do me
  2342. the honor of accompanying my fragments to the scrap heap: one should
  2343. never bow so respectfully to chains cast off!
  2344. March 9, 1914.
  2345. Rome, Villa Orsini.
  2346. Last night I had an important conversation with Thomas Magnus. When
  2347. Maria had retired I began as usual to prepare to return home but
  2348. Magnus detained me.
  2349. "Why go, Mr. Wondergood? Stay here for the night. Stay here and
  2350. listen to the barking of Mars!"
  2351. For several days dense clouds had been gathering over Rome and a heavy
  2352. rain had been beating down upon its walls and ruins. This morning I
  2353. read in a newspaper a very portentous weather bulletin: _cielo nuvolo
  2354. il vento forte e mare molto agitato._ Toward evening the threat turned
  2355. into a storm and the enraged sea hurled across a range of ninety
  2356. miles its moist odors upon the walls of Rome. And the real Roman sea,
  2357. the billowy Campagna, sang forth with all the voices of the tempest,
  2358. like the ocean, and at moments it seemed that its immovable hills,
  2359. its ancient waves, long evaporated by the sun, had once more come to
  2360. life and moved forward upon the city walls. Mad Mars, this creator
  2361. of terror and tempest, flew like an arrow across its wide spaces,
  2362. crushed the head of every blade of grass to the ground, sighed and
  2363. panted and hurled heavy gusts of wind into the whining cypress trees.
  2364. Occasionally he would seize and hurl the nearest objects he could
  2365. lay his hands upon: the brick roofs of the houses shook beneath his
  2366. blows and their stone walls roared as if inside the very stones the
  2367. imprisoned wind was gasping and seeking an escape.
  2368. We listened to the storm all evening. Maria was calm but Magnus was
  2369. visibly nervous, constantly rubbed his white hands and listened
  2370. intently to the antics of the wind: to its murderous whistle, its
  2371. roar and its signs, its laughter and its groans...the wild-haired
  2372. artist was cunning enough to be slayer and victim, to strangle and to
  2373. plead for mercy at one and the same time! If Magnus had the moving
  2374. ears of an animal, they would have remained immovable. His thin nose
  2375. trembled, his dim eyes grew dark, as if they reflected the shadows of
  2376. the clouds, his thin lips were twisted into a quick and strange smile.
  2377. I, too, was quite excited: it was the first time since I became human
  2378. I had heard such a storm and it raised in me a white terror: almost
  2379. with the horror of a child I avoided the windows, beyond which lay
  2380. the night. Why does it not come here, I thought: can the window pane
  2381. possibly keep it out if it should wish to break through?...
  2382. Some one knocked at the iron gates several times, the gates at which I
  2383. and Toppi once knocked for admission.
  2384. "That is my chauffeur, who has come to fetch me," said I: "we must
  2385. admit him."
  2386. Magnus glanced at me from the corner of his eye and remarked sadly:
  2387. "There is no road on that side of the house. There is nothing but
  2388. field there. That is mad Mars who is begging for admittance."
  2389. And as if he had actually heard his words, Mars broke out into
  2390. laughter and disappeared whistling. But the knocking was soon resumed.
  2391. It seemed as if some one were tearing off the iron gates and several
  2392. voices, shouting and interrupting each other, were anxiously speaking;
  2393. an infant was heard weeping.
  2394. "Those must be people who have lost their way...you hear--an infant!
  2395. We must open the gates."
  2396. "Well, we'll see," said Magnus angrily.
  2397. "I will go with you, Magnus."
  2398. "Sit still, Wondergood. This friend of mine, here, is quite
  2399. enough...." He quickly drew _that_ revolver from the table drawer and
  2400. with a peculiar expression of love and even gentleness he grasped it
  2401. in his broad hand and carefully hid it in his pocket. He walked out
  2402. and we could hear the cry that met him at the gate.
  2403. On that evening I somehow avoided Maria's eyes and I felt quite ill at
  2404. ease when we were left alone. And suddenly I felt like sinking to the
  2405. floor, and kneeling before her so that her dress might touch my face:
  2406. I felt as if I had hair on my back, that sparks would at any moment
  2407. begin to fly if some one were to touch it and that this would relieve
  2408. me. Thus, in my mind, I moved closer and closer to Her, when Magnus
  2409. returned and silently put the revolver back into the drawer. The
  2410. voices at the door had ceased and the knocking, too.
  2411. "Who was that?"...asked Maria.
  2412. Magnus angrily shook off the drops of rain upon his coat.
  2413. "Crazy Mars. Who else did you expect?"
  2414. "But I thought I heard you speak to him?" I jested, trying to conceal
  2415. the shiver produced by the cold brought in by Magnus.
  2416. "Yes, I told him it was not polite--to drag about with him such
  2417. suspicious company. He excused himself and said he would come no
  2418. more," Magnus laughed and added: "I am convinced that all the
  2419. murderers of Rome and the Campagna are to-night threatening to
  2420. ambush people and hugging their stilettos as if they were their
  2421. sweethearts...."
  2422. Again came a muffled and timid knock.
  2423. "Again!" cried Magnus, angrily, as if Mad Mars had really promised to
  2424. knock no more. But the knock was followed by the ring of a bell: it
  2425. was my chauffeur. Maria retired, while I, as I have already said, had
  2426. been invited by Magnus to remain overnight, to which I agreed, after
  2427. some hesitation: I was not at all taken by Magnus and his revolver,
  2428. and still less was I attracted by the silly darkness.
  2429. The kind host himself went out to dismiss the chauffeur. Through the
  2430. window I could see the bright lights of the lanterns of the machine
  2431. and for a moment I yearned to return home to my pleasant sinners,
  2432. who were probably imbibing their wine at that moment in expectation
  2433. of my return.... Ah, I have long since abandoned philanthropy and am
  2434. now leading the life of a drunkard and a gambler. And again, as on
  2435. that first night, the quiet little white house, this _soul_ of Maria,
  2436. looked terrible and suspicious: this revolver, these stains of _blood_
  2437. upon the white hands...and, maybe there are more stains like these
  2438. here.
  2439. But it was too late to change my mind. The machine had gone and
  2440. Magnus, by the light, had not a _blue_, but a very black and beautiful
  2441. beard and his eyes were smiling pleasantly. In his broad hand he
  2442. carried not a weapon, but two bottles of wine, and from afar he
  2443. shouted merrily:
  2444. "On a night like this there is but one thing to do, to drink wine.
  2445. Even Mars, when I spoke to him, looked drunk to me...the rogue! Your
  2446. glass, Mr. Wondergood!"
  2447. But when the glasses had been filled, this merry drunkard hardly
  2448. touched the wine and sitting deep in his chair asked me to drink and
  2449. to talk. Without particular enthusiasm, listening to the noise of
  2450. the wind and thinking about the length of the night before us, I told
  2451. Magnus of the new and insistent visits of Cardinal X. It seemed to me
  2452. that the Cardinal had actually put spies on my trail and what is more
  2453. strange: he has managed to gain quite an influence over the unbribable
  2454. Toppi. Toppi is still the same devoted friend of mine but he seems
  2455. to have grown sad, goes to confessional every day and is trying to
  2456. persuade me to accept Catholicism.
  2457. Magnus listened calmly to my story and with still greater reluctance
  2458. I told him of the many unsuccessful efforts to open my purse: of
  2459. the endless petitions, badly written, in which the truth appears
  2460. to be falsehood because of the boresome monotony of tears, bows
  2461. and naïve flattery; of crazy inventors, of all sorts of people
  2462. with hasty projects, gentlemen who seek to utilize as quickly as
  2463. possible their temporary absence from jail--of all this hungry mass
  2464. of humanity aroused by the smell of _weakly_ protected billions. My
  2465. secretaries--there are six of them now--hardly manage to handle all
  2466. this mess of tears on paper, and the madly babbling fools who fill the
  2467. doors of my palace.
  2468. "I fear that I will have to build me an underground exit: they are
  2469. watching me even at nights. They are aiming at me with picks and
  2470. shovels, as if they were in the Klondike. The nonsense published
  2471. by these accursed newspapers about the billions I am ready to give
  2472. away to every fool displaying a wound in his leg, or an empty pocket,
  2473. has driven them out of their senses. I believe that some night they
  2474. will divide me into portions and eat me. They are organizing regular
  2475. pilgrimages to my palace and come with huge bags. My ladies, who
  2476. regard me as their property, have found for me a little Dante Inferno,
  2477. where we take daily walks in company with the society that storms my
  2478. place. Yesterday we examined an old witch whose entire worth consists
  2479. in the fact that she has outlived her husband, her children and her
  2480. grandchildren, and is now in need of snuff. And some angry old man
  2481. refused to be consoled and even would not take any money until all
  2482. of us had smelled the old putrid wound in his foot. It was indeed a
  2483. horrible odor. This cross old fellow is the pride of my ladies, and
  2484. like all favorites, he is capricious, and temperamental. And...are you
  2485. tired of listening to me, Magnus. I could tell you of a whole flock of
  2486. ragged fathers, hungry children, green and rotten like certain kinds
  2487. of cheese, of noble geniuses who despise me like a negro, of clever
  2488. drunkards with merry, red noses.... My ladies are not very keen on
  2489. drunkards, but I love them better than any other kind of goods. And
  2490. how do you feel about it, Signor Magnus?"
  2491. Magnus was silent. I too was tired of talking. Mad Mars alone
  2492. continued his antics: he was now ensconced upon the roof, trying to
  2493. bite a hole in the center, and crushing the tiles as he would a lump
  2494. of sugar. Magnus broke the silence:
  2495. "The newspapers seem to have little to say about you recently. What is
  2496. the matter?"
  2497. "I pay the interviewers not to write anything. At first I drove
  2498. them away but they began interviewing my horses and now I pay them
  2499. for their silence by the line. Have you a customer for my villa,
  2500. Magnus? I shall sell it together with the artists and the rest of its
  2501. paraphernalia."
  2502. We again grew silent and paced up and down the room: Magnus rose first
  2503. and then sat down. I followed and sat down too. In addition, I drank
  2504. two more glasses of wine while Magnus drank none.... His nose is never
  2505. red. Suddenly he said with determination:
  2506. "Do not drink any more wine, Wondergood."
  2507. "Oh, very well. I want no more wine. Is that all?"
  2508. Magnus continued to question me at long intervals. His voice was sharp
  2509. and stern, while mine was...melodious, I would say.
  2510. "There has been a great change in you, Wondergood."
  2511. "Quite possible, thank you, Magnus."
  2512. "There used to be more life in you. Now you rarely jest. You have
  2513. become very morose, Wondergood."
  2514. "Oh!"
  2515. "You have even grown thin and your brow is sallow. Is it true that you
  2516. get drunk every night in the company of your...friends?"
  2517. "It seems so."
  2518. "...that you play cards, squander your gold, and that recently some
  2519. one had been nearly murdered at your table?"
  2520. "I fear that is true. I recollect that one gentleman actually tried to
  2521. pierce another gentleman with his fork. And how do you know all about
  2522. that?"
  2523. He replied sternly and significantly:
  2524. "Toppi was here yesterday. He wanted to see...Maria but I myself
  2525. received him. With all due respect to you, Wondergood, I must say that
  2526. your secretary is unusually stupid."
  2527. I acquiesced coldly.
  2528. "You are quite right. You should have driven him out."
  2529. I must say for my part, that my last two glasses of wine evaporated
  2530. from me at the mention of _Maria's_ name, and our attempted
  2531. conversation was marked by continued evaporation of the wine I
  2532. drank, like perfume out of a bottle. I have always regarded wine as
  2533. unreliable matter. We found ourselves again listening to the storm and
  2534. I remarked:
  2535. "The wind seems to be growing more violent, Signor Magnus."
  2536. "Yes, the wind seems to be growing more violent, Mr. Wondergood. But
  2537. you must admit that I warned you beforehand, Mr. Wondergood."
  2538. "Of what did you warn me beforehand, Signor Magnus?"
  2539. He seized his knees with his white hands and directed upon me the gaze
  2540. of a snake charmer.... Ah, he did not know that I myself had extracted
  2541. my poisoned teeth and was quite harmless, like a mummy in a museum!
  2542. Finally, he realized that there was no use beating about the bush, and
  2543. came straight to the point:
  2544. "I warned you in regard to _Maria_," he said slowly, with peculiar
  2545. insinuation. "You remember that I did not desire your acquaintance
  2546. and expressed it plainly enough? You have not forgotten _what_ I
  2547. told you about Maria, of her fatal influence upon the soul? But you
  2548. were bold and insistent and I yielded. And now you ask us--me and my
  2549. daughter--to view the highly exhilarating spectacle of a gentleman in
  2550. the process of disintegration, one who asks nothing, who reproaches no
  2551. one, but can find no solace until every one has smelled his wound....
  2552. I do not want to repeat your expression, Mr. Wondergood. It has a bad
  2553. odor. Yes, sir, you have spoken quite frankly of your...neighbors and
  2554. I am sincerely glad you have finally abandoned this cheap play at love
  2555. and humanity.... You have so many other pastimes! I confess, however,
  2556. that I am not at all overjoyed at your intention of presenting to _us_
  2557. the _sediment_ of a gentleman. It seems to me, sir, that you made a
  2558. mistake in leaving America and your...canning business: dealing with
  2559. people requires quite a different sort of ability."
  2560. He laughed! He was almost driving Me out, this little man, and I, who
  2561. write my "I" in a super-capital, I listened to him humbly and meekly.
  2562. It was divinely ridiculous! Here is another detail for those who love
  2563. the ridiculous: before his tirade began my eyes and the cigar between
  2564. my teeth were quite bravely and nonchalantly directed toward the
  2565. ceiling, but they changed their attitude before he had finished....
  2566. To this very moment I feel the taste of that miserable dangling,
  2567. extinguished cigar. I was choking with laughter...that is I did not
  2568. yet know whether to choke with laughter or with wrath. Or, without
  2569. choking at all, to ask him for an umbrella and leave. Ah, he was at
  2570. _home_, he was on his _own_ ground, this angry, black bearded man. He
  2571. knew how to manage himself in this situation and he sang a _solo_, not
  2572. a _duet_, like the inseparable Satan of Eternity and Wondergood of
  2573. Illinois!
  2574. "Sir!" I said with dignity: "There seems to be a sad misunderstanding
  2575. here. You see before you Satan in _human form_...you understand? He
  2576. went out for an evening stroll and was lost in the forest...in the
  2577. forest, sir, in the forest! Won't you be good enough, sir, to direct
  2578. him to the nearest road to Eternity? Ah, Ah! Thank you. _So_ I thought
  2579. myself. Farewell!"
  2580. Of course, I really did not say that. I was _silent_ and gave the
  2581. floor to Wondergood. And this is what that respectable gentleman said,
  2582. dropping his wet, dead cigar:
  2583. "The devil take it! You are quite right, Magnus. Thank you, old man.
  2584. Yes, you warned me quite honestly, but I preferred to play a lone
  2585. hand. Now I am a bankrupt and at your mercy. I shall have no objection
  2586. if you should order the removal of the _sediment_ of the gentleman."
  2587. I thought that without waiting for a stretcher, Magnus would simply
  2588. throw the sediment out of the window, but his generosity proved quite
  2589. surprising: he looked at Me with pity and even stretched out his hand.
  2590. "You are suffering very much, Mr. Wondergood?"--a question quite
  2591. difficult to answer for the celebrated _duet_! I blinked and shrugged
  2592. my shoulders. This appeared to satisfy Magnus and for a few moments
  2593. we were both silent. I do not know of what Magnus was thinking. I
  2594. thought of nothing: I simply examined with great interest, the walls,
  2595. the ceiling, books, pictures--all the furnishings of this human
  2596. habitation. I was particularly absorbed in the electric light upon
  2597. which I fixed my attention: why does _it_ burn and give light?
  2598. "I am waiting for your answer, Mr. Wondergood."
  2599. So he was really expecting me to reply? Very well.
  2600. "It's very simple, Magnus...you warned me, I admit. To-morrow
  2601. Toppi will pack my trunks and I shall go back to America to resume
  2602. my...business."
  2603. "And the Cardinal?"
  2604. "What Cardinal? Ah, yes!... Cardinal X. and my billions. I remember.
  2605. But--don't gaze at me in such astonishment, Magnus. I am sick of it."
  2606. "What are you sick of, Mr. Wondergood?"
  2607. "_It._ Six secretaries. Brainless old women, snuff, and my Dante
  2608. Inferno, where they take me for my walks. Don't look at me so sternly,
  2609. Magnus. Probably one could have made better wine out of my billions,
  2610. but I managed to produce only sour beer. Why did you refuse to help
  2611. me? Of course, you hate human beings, I forgot."
  2612. "But you _love_ them?"
  2613. "What shall I say, Magnus? No, I am rather indifferent to them. Don't
  2614. look at me so...pityingly. By God, it isn't worth it! Yes, I am
  2615. indifferent to them. There are, there were and there will be so many
  2616. of them that it isn't really worth while...."
  2617. "So I am to conclude that you _lied_?"
  2618. "Look not at me but at my packed trunks. No, I did not lie, not
  2619. entirely. You know, I wanted to do something interesting for the sake
  2620. of amusement and so I let loose this...this emotion...."
  2621. "So it was only _play_?..."
  2622. I blinked again and shrugged my shoulders. I like this method of
  2623. reply to complex questions. And _this_ face of Signor Thomas Magnus
  2624. appealed to me, too; his long, oval face recompensed me slightly for
  2625. my theatrical failures and...Maria. I must add that by this time
  2626. there was a fresh cigar in my mouth.
  2627. "You said that in your past there are some dark pages.... What's the
  2628. trouble, Mr. Wondergood?"
  2629. "Oh! it was a slight exaggeration. Nothing in particular, Magnus. I
  2630. beg your pardon for disturbing you needlessly, but at that time I
  2631. thought I should have spoken thus for the sake of style...."
  2632. "Style?"
  2633. "Yes, and the laws of contrast. The present is always brighter with a
  2634. dark past as a background...you understand? But I have already told
  2635. you, Magnus, that my prank had little result. In the place I come from
  2636. they have quite a mistaken conception of the pleasures of the game
  2637. here. I shall have to disabuse them when I get back. For a moment I
  2638. was taken in by the old monkey, but its method of fleecing people is
  2639. rather ancient and too certain...like a counting house. I prefer an
  2640. element of risk."
  2641. "Fleecing people?"
  2642. "Don't we despise them, Magnus? And if the game has failed, let us not
  2643. at least deny ourselves the pleasure of speaking frankly. I am very
  2644. glad. But I am tired of this prattle and, with your permission, I will
  2645. take another glass of wine."
  2646. There was not even the resemblance of a smile on Thomas Magnus' face.
  2647. I mention the smile for the sake of...style. We passed the next
  2648. half hour in silence, broken only by the shrieks and yells of Mad
  2649. Mars and the even pacing of Magnus. With his hands behind him and
  2650. disregarding me entirely he paced the room with even step: eight
  2651. steps forward, eight steps backward. Apparently he must have been in
  2652. jail at one time and for quite a while: for he had the knack of the
  2653. experienced prisoner of creating distances out of a few meters. I
  2654. permitted myself to yawn slightly and thus drew the attention of my
  2655. host back to myself. But Magnus kept quiet for another moment, until
  2656. the _following words_ rang out through the air and well nigh hurled me
  2657. out of my seat:
  2658. "But _Maria_ loves you. Of course, you do not know that?"
  2659. I arose.
  2660. "Yes, that is the truth: Maria loves you. I did not expect this
  2661. misfortune. I failed to kill you, Mr. Wondergood. I should have done
  2662. that at the very beginning and now I do not know what to do with you.
  2663. What do you think about it?"
  2664. I stretched and...
  2665. * * * * *
  2666. ...Maria loves _Me_!
  2667. I once witnessed in Philadelphia an unsuccessful electrocution of
  2668. a prisoner. I saw at "La Scala" in Milan my colleague Mephisto
  2669. _cringing_ and hopping all over the stage when the supers moved upon
  2670. him with their crosses--and my silent reply to Magnus was an artistic
  2671. improvisation of both the first and the second trick: ah, at that
  2672. moment I could think of nothing better to imitate! I swear by eternal
  2673. salvation that never before had I been permeated by so many deadly
  2674. currents, never did I drink such bitter wine, never was my soul seized
  2675. with such uncontrollable _laughter_!
  2676. Now I no longer laugh or cringe, like a cheap actor. I am alone and
  2677. only my own seriousness can hear and see Me. But in that moment of
  2678. triumph I needed all my strength to control my laughter so that I
  2679. might not deal ringing blows to the face of this stern and honest
  2680. man hurling the Madonna into the embraces of...the Devil. Do you
  2681. really think so? No? Or are you merely thinking of Wondergood, the
  2682. American, with his goatee and wet cigar between his gold teeth! Hatred
  2683. and contempt, love and anguish, wrath and laughter,--these filled
  2684. to the brim the cup presented to Me...no, still worse, still more
  2685. bitter, still more deadly! What do I care about the deceived Magnus or
  2686. the stupidity of his eyes and brain? But how could the pure eyes of
  2687. _Maria_ have been deceived?
  2688. Or am I really such a clever Don Juan that I can turn the head of
  2689. an innocent and trusting girl by a few simple, silent meetings?
  2690. Madonna, where art Thou? Or, has she discovered a resemblance between
  2691. myself and one of her saints, like Toppi's. But I do not carry with
  2692. me a traveling prayer book! Madonna, where art Thou? Are thy lips
  2693. stretching out to mine? Madonna, where art Thou? Or?...
  2694. And yet I cringed like an actor. I sought to stifle in respectful
  2695. mumbling my hatred and my contempt when this new "_or_" suddenly
  2696. filled me with new confusion and such love...ah, such love!
  2697. "_Or_," thought I, "has _Thy_ immortality, Madonna, echoed the
  2698. immortality of Satan and is it now stretching forth this gentle hand
  2699. to it from the realms of Eternity? Thou, who art _divine_, hast thou
  2700. recognized a friend in him who has become _human_? Thou, who art
  2701. _above_, dost thou pity him who is _below_? Oh, Madonna, lay thy hand
  2702. upon my dark head that I may recognize thee by thy touch!..."
  2703. But hear what further transpired that night.
  2704. * * * * *
  2705. "I know not why Maria has fallen in love with you. That is a secret of
  2706. her soul, too much for my understanding. No, I do not know, but I bow
  2707. to her will as to her frankness. What are my human eyes before her
  2708. all-penetrating gaze, Mr. Wondergood!..."
  2709. (The latter, too, was saying the same thing.)
  2710. "A moment ago, in a fit of excitement," continued Magnus, "I said
  2711. something about murder and death.... No, Mr. Wondergood, you may rest
  2712. secure forever: the chosen one of Maria enjoys complete immunity as
  2713. far as I am concerned. He is protected by more than the law--her pure
  2714. love is his armor. Of course, I shall have to ask you to leave us at
  2715. once. And I believe in your honest intention, Wondergood, to place the
  2716. ocean between us...."
  2717. "But...."
  2718. Magnus moved forward towards me and shouted angrily:
  2719. "Not another word!... I cannot kill you but if you dare to mention the
  2720. word 'marriage,' I!..."
  2721. He slowly dropped his uplifted hand, and continued calmly:
  2722. "I see that I will have to beg your pardon again for my fit of
  2723. passion, but it is better than _falsehood_, examples of which
  2724. we have had from you. Do not defend yourself, Wondergood. It is
  2725. quite unnecessary. And of marriage let _me_ speak: it will ring
  2726. less insulting to Maria than it would from your lips. It is quite
  2727. unthinkable. Remember that. I am a sober realist: I see nothing but
  2728. mere coincidence in _that fatal_ resemblance of Maria and I am not at
  2729. all taken aback by the thought that my daughter, with all her unusual
  2730. qualities, may some day become a wife and mother.... My categorical
  2731. opposition to this marriage was simply another means of warning you.
  2732. Yes, I am accustomed to look soberly upon things, Mr. Wondergood. It
  2733. is not you who is destined to be Maria's life partner! You do not know
  2734. me at all and now I am compelled to raise slightly the curtain behind
  2735. which I am hiding these many years: my idleness is merely rest. I am
  2736. not at all a peaceful villager or a book philosopher. I am a man of
  2737. struggle. I am a warrior on the battlefield of life! And my Maria will
  2738. be the gift only of a hero, if--if I should ever find a hero."
  2739. I said:
  2740. "You may rest assured, Signor Magnus, that I will not permit myself to
  2741. utter a single word in regard to Signorina Maria. You know that I am
  2742. not a hero. But I should think it permissible to ask of you: how am I
  2743. to reconcile your present remarks with your former _contempt_ for man?
  2744. I recollect that you spoke seriously of gallows and prisons."
  2745. Magnus laughed loudly:
  2746. "And do you remember what you said about your _love_ for man? Ah,
  2747. my dear Wondergood: I would be a bad warrior and politician if my
  2748. education did not embrace the art of lying a little. We were both
  2749. playing, that's all!"
  2750. "You played better," I admitted quite gloomily.
  2751. "And you played very badly, my friend,--do not be offended. But what
  2752. am I to do when there suddenly appears before me a gentleman all
  2753. loaded with gold like...."
  2754. "Like an ass. Continue."
  2755. "And begins to reveal to me his love for humanity, while his
  2756. confidence in his success is equal only to the quantity of the dollars
  2757. in his pocket? The main fault of your play, Mr. Wondergood, is that
  2758. you are too eager for success and seek immediate results. This makes
  2759. the spectator cold and less credulous. To be sure, I really did not
  2760. think you were merely acting--the worst play is better than sincere
  2761. assininity--and I must again crave your pardon: you seemed to me just
  2762. one of those foolish Yankees who really take their own bombastic and
  2763. contemptible tirades seriously and...you understand?"
  2764. "Quite fully. I beg you to continue."
  2765. "Only one phrase of yours,--something about war and revolution
  2766. purchasable with your billions--seemed to me to possess a modicum
  2767. of interest, but the rest of the drivel proved that that, too,
  2768. was a mere slip of the tongue, an accidental excerpt of some one
  2769. else's text. Your newspaper triumphs, your flippancy in serious
  2770. matters--remember Cardinal X!--your cheap philanthropy are of a quite
  2771. different tone.... No, Mr. Wondergood, you are not fit for serious
  2772. drama! And your prattling to-day, despite its cynicism, made a better
  2773. impression than your flamboyant circus pathos. I say frankly: were it
  2774. not for _Maria_ I would gladly have had a good laugh at your expense,
  2775. and, without the slightest compunction would have raised the farewell
  2776. cup!"
  2777. "Just one correction, Magnus: I earnestly desired that you should take
  2778. part...."
  2779. "In what? In your play? Yes, your play lacked the _creative factor_
  2780. and you earnestly desired to saddle me with your poverty of spirit.
  2781. Just as you hire your artists to paint and decorate your palaces so
  2782. you wanted to hire my will and my imagination, my power and my love!"
  2783. "But your hatred for man...."
  2784. Up to this point Magnus had maintained his tone of irony and subtle
  2785. ridicule: my remark, however, seemed to change him entirely. He grew
  2786. pale, his white hands moved convulsively over his body as if they
  2787. were searching for a weapon, and his face became threatening and even
  2788. horrible. As if fearing the power of his own voice, he lowered it
  2789. almost to a whisper; as if fearing that his words would break their
  2790. leash and run off at a wild pace, he tried desperately to hold them in
  2791. check and in order.
  2792. "Hatred? Be silent, sir. Or have you no conscience at all or any
  2793. common sense? My contempt! My hatred! They were my reply, not to
  2794. your theatrical _love_, but to your sincere and dead indifference.
  2795. You were insulting _me_ as a human being by your indifference: You
  2796. were insulting life by your indifference. It was in your voice, it
  2797. gleamed savagely out of your eyes, and more than once was I seized by
  2798. terror...terror, sir!--when I pierced deeper the mysterious emptiness
  2799. of your pupils. If your past has no dark pages, which, as you say, you
  2800. merely added for the sake of style, then there is something worse than
  2801. that in it: there are _white_ pages in it. And I cannot read them!..."
  2802. "Oh, oh!"
  2803. "When I look at your eternal cigar, and see your self-satisfied but
  2804. handsome and energetic face; when I view your unassuming manner, in
  2805. which the simplicity of the grog shop is elevated to the heights of
  2806. Puritanism, I fully understand your naïve game. But I need only meet
  2807. the pupil of your eye...or its _white_ rim and I am immediately
  2808. hurled into a void, I am seized with alarm and I no longer see either
  2809. your cigar or your gold teeth and I am ready to exclaim: who are you
  2810. that you dare to bear yourself with such indifference?"
  2811. The situation was becoming interesting. _Madonna_ loves Me and this
  2812. creature is about ready to utter my Name at any moment! Is he the son
  2813. of my Father? How could he unravel the great mystery of my boundless
  2814. indifference: I tried so carefully to conceal it, even from you!
  2815. "Here! here!" shouted Magnus, in great excitement, "again there are
  2816. two little tears in your eyes, as I have noticed before. They are a
  2817. _lie_, Wondergood! There is no source of tears behind them. They have
  2818. fallen from somewhere above, from the clouds, like dew. Rather laugh:
  2819. behind your laughter I see merely a bad man, but behind your tears
  2820. there are _white_ pages, white pages!... or has Maria read them?"
  2821. Without taking his eyes off me, as if fearing that I might run away,
  2822. Magnus paced the room, finally seating himself opposite Me. His face
  2823. grew dim and his voice seemed tired, when he said:
  2824. "But it seems to me that I am exciting myself in vain...."
  2825. "Do not forget, Magnus, that to-day I myself spoke to you of
  2826. indifference."
  2827. He waved his hand wearily and carelessly.
  2828. "Yes, you did speak. But there is something else involved here,
  2829. Wondergood. There is nothing insulting in the indifference, but in
  2830. the other...I sensed it immediately upon your appearance with your
  2831. billions. I do not know whether you will understand what I mean, but
  2832. I immediately felt like shouting of hatred and to demand gallows and
  2833. blood. The gallows is a gloomy thing but the curious jostling about
  2834. the gallows, Mr. Wondergood, are quite unbearable! I do not know
  2835. what they think of our game here in the 'place' you come from, but
  2836. we pay for it with our lives, and when there suddenly appears before
  2837. us some curious gentleman in a top hat, cigar in mouth, one feels,
  2838. you understand, like seizing him by the back of his neck and...he
  2839. never stays to the end of the performance, anyway. Have you, too, Mr.
  2840. Wondergood, dropped in on us for a brief visit?"
  2841. With what a long sigh I uttered the name of _Maria_!... And I no
  2842. longer played, I no longer lied, when I replied to this gloomy man:
  2843. "Yes, I have dropped in on you for a brief visit, Signor Magnus.
  2844. You have guessed right. For certain very valid reasons I can reveal
  2845. nothing to you of the _white_ pages of my life, the existence of
  2846. which behind my leather binding you have likewise guessed. But on one
  2847. of them was written: _death-departure_. That was not a top hat in
  2848. the hands of the curious visitor, but a revolver...you understand: I
  2849. look on as long as it is interesting and after that I make my bow and
  2850. depart. Let me put it clearer and simpler, out of deference to your
  2851. realism: in a few days, perhaps to-morrow, I depart for the other
  2852. world.... No, that is not clear enough: in a few days or to-morrow I
  2853. shall shoot myself, kill myself with a revolver. I at first planned
  2854. to aim at my heart but have decided that the brain would be more
  2855. reliable. I have planned all this long ago, at the very beginning...of
  2856. my appearance before you, and was it not in this _readiness_ of mine
  2857. to depart that you have detected 'inhuman' indifference? Isn't it true
  2858. that when one eye is directed upon the _other_ world, it is hardly
  2859. possible to maintain any particularly bright flame in the eye directed
  2860. upon _this_ world?... I refer to the kind of flame I see in your eyes.
  2861. O! you have wonderful eyes, Signor Magnus."
  2862. Magnus remained silent for a few moments and then said:
  2863. "And Maria?"
  2864. "Permit me to reply. I prize Signorina Maria too highly not to regard
  2865. her _love_ for me as a fatal mistake."
  2866. "But you wanted that love?"
  2867. "It is very difficult for me to answer that question. At first,
  2868. perhaps--when I indulged in dreams for a while--but the more I
  2869. perceived this fatal resemblance...."
  2870. "That is mere resemblance," Magnus hastened to assure me: "But you
  2871. mustn't be a child, Wondergood! Maria's soul is lofty and beautiful,
  2872. but she is human, made of flesh and bone. She probably has her own
  2873. little sins, too...."
  2874. "And how about my top hat, Magnus? How about my _free_ departure?
  2875. I need only buy a seat to gaze upon Maria and her fatal
  2876. resemblance--admitting that it is only resemblance!--but how must I
  2877. pay for _love_?"
  2878. Magnus said sternly:
  2879. "Only with your life."
  2880. "You see: only with my life! How, then, did you expect me to desire
  2881. such love?"
  2882. "But you have miscalculated: she already loves you."
  2883. "Oh, if the Signorina Maria really loves me then my _death_ can be no
  2884. obstacle: however, I do not make myself clear. I wanted to say that my
  2885. departure...no, I had better say nothing. In short, Signor Magnus:
  2886. would you agree to have me place my billions at your disposal _now_?"
  2887. He looked at me quickly:
  2888. "Now?"
  2889. "Yes, now, when we are no longer playing: I at love and you at hatred.
  2890. Now, when I am about to disappear entirely, taking with me the
  2891. 'sediment' of a gentlemen? Let me make it quite clear: would you like
  2892. to be my heir?"
  2893. Magnus frowned and looked at me in anger: apparently he took my words
  2894. for ridicule. But I was calm and serious. It seemed to me that his
  2895. large, white hands were trembling slightly. He turned away for a
  2896. moment and then, whirling about quickly, he shouted loudly:
  2897. "No! Again you want.... No!"
  2898. He stamped his foot and cried once more: "No!" His hands were
  2899. trembling. His breathing was heavy and irregular. There followed a
  2900. long silence, the wailing of the tempest, the whistling and murmur
  2901. of the wind. And again, great calm, great, dead, all embracing peace
  2902. descended upon me. Everything was turned _within_ Me. I still could
  2903. hear the earthly demons of the storm, but _their_ voices sounded far
  2904. away and dull. I saw before me a _man_ and he was strange and cold to
  2905. me, like a stone statue. One after another there floated by me all
  2906. the days of my human existence. There was the gleam of faces, the
  2907. weak sound of voices and curious laughter. And then, again all was
  2908. silent. I turned my gaze to the other side--and there I was met by
  2909. dumbness. It was as if I were immured between two dumb, stone walls:
  2910. behind one was _their_ human life, which I had abandoned, and behind
  2911. the other, in silence and in darkness, stretched forth the world of
  2912. eternal and real being. Its silence was resounding, its darkness was
  2913. gleaming, eternal, joyous life beat constantly like breakers, upon the
  2914. hard rocks of the impenetrable wall. But deaf was my consciousness and
  2915. silent my thought. From beneath the weak legs of Thought there came
  2916. _Memory_--and it hung suspended in the void, immovable, paralyzed for
  2917. the moment. _What_ did I leave behind the wall of my Unconsciousness?
  2918. Thought made no reply. It was motionless, empty and silent. Two
  2919. silences surrounded Me, two darknesses enveloped me. Two walls were
  2920. burying me, and behind one, in the pale movement of shadows, passed
  2921. their human life, while behind the other,--in silence and in darkness
  2922. stretched forth the world of my real, eternal being. Whence shall I
  2923. hear The Call? Whither can I take a step?
  2924. And at that moment I suddenly heard the voice of a man, strange and
  2925. distant. It grew closer and closer, there was a gentle ring in it. It
  2926. was Magnus speaking. With great effort and concentration, I tried to
  2927. catch the words and this was what I heard:
  2928. "And wouldn't you rather continue living, Wondergood?"
  2929. March 18.
  2930. Rome, Palazzo Orsini.
  2931. It is three days now that Magnus and Maria are living in my palazzo in
  2932. Rome. It is empty and silent and really seems huge. Last night, worn
  2933. by insomnia, I wandered about its halls and stairways, over rooms I
  2934. had never seen before and their number astonished me. Maria's _soul_
  2935. has expelled from it all that was frivolous and impure and only the
  2936. saintly Toppi moves through its emptiness, like the pendulum of a
  2937. church clock. Ah, how saintly he looks. If not for his broad back, the
  2938. broad folds of his coat, and the odor of fur in his head, I myself
  2939. would take him for one of the saints who have honored me with their
  2940. acquaintance.
  2941. I rarely see my guests. I am turning my entire estate into cash and
  2942. Magnus and Toppi and all the secretaries are busy with this work from
  2943. morning to night; our telegraph is constantly buzzing. Magnus has
  2944. little to say to me. He only talks business. Maria...it seems as
  2945. if I were avoiding her. I can see her through my window walking in
  2946. the garden, and this is quite enough for me, for her _soul_ is here
  2947. and every atom of the air is filled with her breath. And, as I have
  2948. already remarked, I suffer with insomnia.
  2949. As you see, my friend, I have remained among the _living_, a dead hand
  2950. could not possibly write even the dead words I am not setting down.
  2951. Let us forget the past, as sweethearts would who have just settled
  2952. their differences. Let us be friends, you and I. Give me your hand, my
  2953. friend! I vow by eternal salvation that never again will I chase you
  2954. hence or laugh at you: if I have lost the wisdom of the snake I have
  2955. acquired the gentleness of the dove. I am rather sorry that I have
  2956. driven away my painters and my interviewers: I have no one to inquire
  2957. whom I _resemble_ with my radiant countenance? I personally feel that
  2958. I remind one of a powdered darkey, who is afraid to rub the powder off
  2959. with his sleeve and thus reveal his black skin...ah, I still have a
  2960. black skin!
  2961. Yes, I have remained _alive_ but I know not yet how far I shall
  2962. succeed in keeping up this state: have you any idea how hard are
  2963. the transitions from a nomad to a settled life? I was a redskin, a
  2964. carefree nomad, who folds up and casts off all that is human, as he
  2965. would a tent. Now I am laying a granite foundation for an earthly
  2966. home and I, having little faith, am cold and trembling. Will it be
  2967. warm when the white snow covers my new home? What do you think, my
  2968. friend, is the best heating system?
  2969. I promised Thomas Magnus that night that I would not kill myself.
  2970. We sealed this agreement with a warm handshake. We did not open our
  2971. veins nor seal the pact with our blood. We simply said "yes" and that
  2972. was quite sufficient: as you know only human beings break agreements.
  2973. Devils always keep them.... You need only recall your horny, hairy
  2974. heroes and their Spartan honesty. Fortunately (let us call it
  2975. 'fortunate') we had set no...date. I swear by eternal salvation,
  2976. I would be a poor king and ruler if, when building a palace, I did
  2977. not leave for myself a secret exit, a little door, a modest loophole
  2978. through which wise kings disappear when their foolish subjects rise
  2979. and break into Versailles.
  2980. I will not kill myself to-morrow. Perhaps I shall wait quite a while.
  2981. I will not kill myself: of the two walls I have chosen the lower one
  2982. and I am quite human now, even as you my friend. My earthly experiment
  2983. is not very thrilling as yet, but who knows?--this human life may
  2984. unexpectedly grow quite attractive! Has not Toppi lived to grow gray
  2985. and to a peaceful end? Why should not I, traversing all the ages of
  2986. man, like the seasons of the year, grow to be a gray old sage, a wise
  2987. guide and teacher, the bearer of the covenant and arterio sclerosis?
  2988. Ah, this ridiculous sclerosis, these ills of old age--it is only now
  2989. that they begin to seem terrible to Me, but, can I not get used to
  2990. them and even grow to love them? Every one says it is easy to get used
  2991. to life. Well, I, too, will try to get used to it. Everything here is
  2992. so well ordered that after rain comes sunshine and dries him who is
  2993. wet, if he has not been in too great a hurry to die. Everything here
  2994. is so well ordered that there is not a single disease for which there
  2995. is no cure. This is so good! One may be ill all the time, provided
  2996. there is a drug store nearby!
  2997. At any rate, I have my little door, my secret exit, my narrow, wet,
  2998. dark corridor, beyond which are the stars and all the breadth of my
  2999. illimitable space! My friend, I want to be frank with you: there is
  3000. a certain characteristic of insubordination in me, and it is that I
  3001. fear. What is a cough or a catarrh of the stomach? But it is possible
  3002. that I may suddenly refuse to cough, for no reason at all, or for some
  3003. trivial cause, and run off! I like you at this moment. I am quite
  3004. ready to conclude a long and fast alliance with you, but _something_
  3005. may suddenly gleam across your dear face which...no, it is quite
  3006. impossible to do without a little secret door for him who is so
  3007. capricious and insubordinate! Unfortunately, I am proud, too,--an old
  3008. and well known vice of Satan! Like a fish struck in the head, I am
  3009. dazed by my human existence. A fatal unconsciousness is driving me
  3010. into your life, but of one thing I am quite certain: I am of the race
  3011. of the _free_. I am of the tribe of the _rulers_. I come from those
  3012. who transform their will into laws. Conquered kings are taken into
  3013. captivity but conquered kings never become slaves. And when I shall
  3014. perceive, above my head, the whip of a dirty guard and my fettered
  3015. hands are helpless to avert the blow...well: shall I remain living
  3016. with welts upon my back? Shall I bargain with my judges about another
  3017. blow of the whip? Shall I kiss the hand of the executioner? Or shall I
  3018. send to the druggist for an eye lotion?
  3019. No, let not Magnus misjudge me for a little slip in our agreement: I
  3020. will live only as long as I want to live. All the blessings of the
  3021. human existence, which he offered me on that night, when Satan was
  3022. tempted by man, will not strike the weapon from my hand: in it alone
  3023. is the assurance of my liberty! Oh, man, what are all your kingdoms
  3024. and dukedoms, your knowledge and your nobility, your gold and your
  3025. freedom beside this little, free movement of the finger which, in a
  3026. moment carries you up to the Throne of Thrones!...
  3027. _Maria!_
  3028. Yes, I am afraid of her. The look in her eye is so clear and
  3029. commanding, the light of her love is so mighty, enchanting and
  3030. beautiful that I am all atremble and everything in me is quivering
  3031. and urging me to immediate flight. With hitherto unknown happiness,
  3032. with veiled promises, with singing dreams she tempts Me! Shall I cry:
  3033. Away!--or shall I bend mine to her will and follow her?
  3034. Where? I do not know. Or are there other worlds beside those I know or
  3035. have forgotten? Whence comes this motionless light behind my back? It
  3036. is growing ever broader and brighter. Its warm touch heats my soul, so
  3037. that its Polar ice crumbles and melts. But I am afraid to look back.
  3038. I may see Sodom on fire and if I look I may turn into stone. Or is it
  3039. a new Sun, which I have not yet seen upon this earth that is rising
  3040. behind my back, and I, like a fool, am fleeing from it and baring my
  3041. back instead of my breast to it, the low, dumb neck of a frightened
  3042. animal, instead of my lofty brow?
  3043. Maria! Will you give me my revolver? I paid ten dollars for it,
  3044. together with the holster. To you I will not give it for a kingdom!
  3045. Only do not look at Me, oh, Queen...otherwise, otherwise I will give
  3046. you everything: the revolver and the holster and Satan himself!
  3047. March 26.
  3048. Rome, Palazzo Orsini.
  3049. It is the fifth night that I do not sleep. When the last light is
  3050. turned out in my silent palazzo, I quietly descend the stairs, quietly
  3051. order a machine--somehow or other even the noise of my own steps and
  3052. voice disturb me, and I go for the night into the Campagna. There,
  3053. leaving the automobile on the road, I wander about until day-break
  3054. or sit immovable upon some dark ruins. I cannot be seen at all and
  3055. the rare passersby, perhaps some peasants from Albano, converse quite
  3056. loudly and without restraint. I like to remain unseen. It reminds me
  3057. of something I have forgotten.
  3058. Once, as I sat down on a stone, I disturbed a lizzard. It may have
  3059. been that it lightly moved the grass beneath my feet and disappeared.
  3060. Perhaps it was a snake? I do not know. But I wanted desperately to
  3061. become a lizzard or a snake, concealed beneath a stone: I am troubled
  3062. by my large stature, by the size of my feet and arms: They make it
  3063. very difficult to become invisible. I likewise refrain from looking
  3064. at my face in the mirror: it is painful to think I have a face, which
  3065. all can see. Why did I fear darkness so much at the beginning? It is
  3066. so easy to conceal oneself in it. Apparently all animals experience
  3067. such subtle shame, fear and worriment and seek seclusion when they are
  3068. changing their skin or hide.
  3069. So, I am changing my skin? Ah, it is the same, worthless prattle! The
  3070. whole trouble is that I have failed to escape _Maria's_ gaze and am,
  3071. apparently preparing to close the last door, the door I guarded so
  3072. well. But I am ashamed! I swear by eternal salvation, I feel ashamed,
  3073. like a girl before the altar. I am almost blushing. Blushing Satan...no,
  3074. quiet, quiet: _he_ is not here! Quiet!...
  3075. Magnus told her everything. She did not reiterate that she loves Me
  3076. but looked at me and said:
  3077. "Promise _me_, you will not kill yourself."
  3078. The _rest_ was in her gaze. You remember how bright it is? But do not
  3079. think that I hastily agreed. Like a salamander in the fire, I quickly
  3080. changed colors. I shall not repeat to you all the flaming phrases I
  3081. uttered: I have forgotten them. But you remember how bright and serene
  3082. Maria's gaze is? I kissed her hand and said humbly:
  3083. "Madam! I do not ask you for forty days and a desert for contemplation:
  3084. the desert I will find myself and a week is quite enough for me to
  3085. think the matter over. But do give me a week and...please, don't look
  3086. at me any more...otherwise...."
  3087. No, that wasn't what I said. I said it in other words, but it's all
  3088. the same. I am now changing my skin. It hurts me. I am frightened and
  3089. ashamed because any crow might see me and come to pick my flesh. What
  3090. use is there in the fact that there is a revolver in my pocket? It is
  3091. only when you learn to hit yourself that you can hit a crow: crows
  3092. know that and consequently do not fear tragically bulging pockets.
  3093. Having become human and descended from above I have become but half a
  3094. man. I entered upon this human existence as if into a strange element,
  3095. but I have not lost myself in it entirely: I still cling with one hand
  3096. to my Heaven and my eyes are still above the surface. But she commands
  3097. me to accept man in his entirety: only he is a _man_ who has said:
  3098. never shall I kill myself, never shall I leave life of my own free
  3099. will. And what about the whip? These cursed cuts upon my back? Pride?
  3100. Oh, Maria, Maria, how terribly you tempt Me!
  3101. I look into the past of this earth and serious myriads of tragic
  3102. shadows floating slowly over climes and ages! Their hands stretch
  3103. hopelessly into space, their bony ribs tear through the lean, thin
  3104. skin, their eyes are filled with tears, and their sighs have dried
  3105. up their throats. I see blood and madness, violence and falsehood, I
  3106. hear their oaths, which they constantly betray, their prayers to God,
  3107. in which, with every word of mercy and forgiveness, they curse their
  3108. own earth. Wherever I look, I see the earth smoking in convulsion; no
  3109. matter in which direction I strain my ear, I hear everywhere unceasing
  3110. moans: or is the womb of the earth itself filled with moaning? I see a
  3111. myriad cups about me, but no matter which of them my lips may touch, I
  3112. find it filled with rust and vinegar: or has man no other drink? And
  3113. this is _man_?
  3114. I knew _them_ before. I have seen _them_ before. But I looked upon
  3115. them as Augustus did from his box upon the galaxy of his victims: Ave,
  3116. Cæsar! These who are about to die salute you. And I looked upon them
  3117. with the eyes of an eagle and my wise, belaureled head did not disdain
  3118. to take notice of their groaning cries even with so much as a nod:
  3119. they came and disappeared, they marched on in endless procession--and
  3120. endless was the indifference of my Cæsar-like gaze. And now...is it
  3121. really I who walks on so hastily, playing with the sand of the arena?
  3122. And am I this dirty, emaciated, hungry slave who lifts his convict
  3123. face into the air, yelling hoarsely into the indifferent eyes of Fate:
  3124. "Ave, Cæsar! Ave, Cæsar!"
  3125. I feel a sharp whip upon my back and with a cry of pain I fall to
  3126. the ground. Is it some _Master_ who is beating me? No, it is another
  3127. _slave_, who has been ordered to whip a _slave_: very soon his knout
  3128. will be in my hand and his back will be covered with blood and he will
  3129. be chewing the sand, the sand which now grates between my teeth.
  3130. Oh, Maria, Maria, how terribly you tempt Me!
  3131. III
  3132. March 29
  3133. Rome.
  3134. Buy the blackest paint available, take the largest brush you can find
  3135. and, with a broad line, divide my life into Yesterday and To-day. Take
  3136. the staff of Moses and divide the stream of Time and dry it up clear
  3137. down to its bed--then only will you sense my _To-day_.
  3138. _Ave, Cæsar, moriturus te salutat!_
  3139. April 2, Rome.
  3140. Pallazzo Orsini.
  3141. I do not want to lie. There is not yet in me, oh man, any love for
  3142. you, and if you have hastened to open your arms to me, please close
  3143. them: the time has not yet come for passionate embraces. Later, at
  3144. some other date, we shall embrace, but meanwhile, let us be cold and
  3145. restrained, like two gentlemen in misfortune. I cannot say that my
  3146. respect for you has grown to any extent, although your life and your
  3147. fate have become my life and my fate: let the facts suffice that I
  3148. have voluntarily placed my neck beneath the yoke and that one and the
  3149. same whip are furrowing our backs.
  3150. Yes, that is quite sufficient for the present. You have observed that
  3151. I no longer use a super-capital in writing the word "I"?--I have
  3152. thrown it out together with the revolver. This is a sign of submission
  3153. and equality. You understand? Like a king, I have taken the oath
  3154. of allegiance to your constitution. But I shall not, like a king,
  3155. betray this vow: I have preserved from my former life a respect for
  3156. contracts. I swear I will be true to your comrades-at-hard-labor and
  3157. will not make any attempt to escape alone!
  3158. For the last few nights, before I took this decision, I thought much
  3159. upon _our_ life. It is wretched. Don't you think so? It is difficult
  3160. and humiliating to be this little thing called man, the cunning and
  3161. avaricious little worm that crawls, hastily multiplies itself and
  3162. lies, turning away its head from the final blow--the worm that no
  3163. matter how much it lies, will perish just the same at the appointed
  3164. hour. But I will be a worm. Let me, too, beget children, let the
  3165. unthinking foot also crush my unthinking head at the appointed hour--I
  3166. meekly accept all consequences. We are both of us humiliated, comrade,
  3167. and in this alone there is some consolation: you will listen to
  3168. my complaints and I--to yours. And if the matter should ultimately
  3169. reach the state of litigation, why the witnesses will all be ready!
  3170. That is well: When one kills in the public square there are always
  3171. eyewitnesses.
  3172. I will lie, if necessary. I will not lie in that free play of lying
  3173. with which even prophets lie, but in that enforced manner of lying
  3174. employed by the rabbit, which compels him to hide his ears, to be
  3175. gray in summer and white in winter. What can one do when behind every
  3176. tree a hunter with a rifle is concealed! This lying may appear to be
  3177. ignoble from one point of view and may well call forth condemnation
  3178. upon us, but you and I must live, my friend. Let _bystanders_ accuse
  3179. us to their heart's content, but, when necessary, we will lie like
  3180. wolves, too! we will spring forward, suddenly, and seize the enemy by
  3181. the throat: one must live, brother, one must live, and are we to be
  3182. held responsible for the fact that there is such great lure and such
  3183. fine taste in blood! In reality neither you nor I are proud of our
  3184. lying, of our cowardice or of our cruelty, and our bloodthirstiness is
  3185. certainly not a matter of conviction.
  3186. But however hideous our life may be, it is still more miserable. Do
  3187. you agree with that? I do not love you yet, oh man, but on these
  3188. nights I have been more than once on the verge of tears when I
  3189. thought of your suffering, of your tortured body, and of your soul,
  3190. relinquished to eternal crucifixion. It is well for a wolf to be a
  3191. wolf. It is well for a rabbit to be a rabbit. But you, man, contain
  3192. both God and Satan--and, oh, how terrible is the imprisonment of both
  3193. in that narrow and dark cell of yours! Can God be a wolf, tearing
  3194. throats and drinking blood! Can Satan be a rabbit, hiding his ears
  3195. behind his humped back! No, that is intolerable. I agree with you.
  3196. That fills life with eternal confusion and pain and the sorrow of the
  3197. soul becomes boundless.
  3198. Think of it: of three children that you beget, one becomes a murderer,
  3199. the other the victim and the third, the judge and executioner. And
  3200. each day the murderers are murdered and still they continue to be
  3201. born; and each day the murderers kill conscience and conscience kills
  3202. the murderers. And all are alive: the murderers and conscience. Oh,
  3203. what a fog we live in! Give heed to all the _words_ spoken by man
  3204. from the day of his birth and you will think: this is God! Look at
  3205. all the _deeds_ of man from his very first day and you will exclaim
  3206. in disgust: this is a beast! Thus does man struggle with himself for
  3207. thousands of years and the sorrow of his soul is boundless and the
  3208. suffering of his mind is terrible and horrible, while the _final_
  3209. judge is slow about his coming.... But he will never come. I say this
  3210. to you: we are forever alone with our life.
  3211. But I accept this, too. Not yet has the earth endowed me with my name
  3212. and I know not who I am: Cain or Abel? But I accept the sacrifice as I
  3213. do murder. I am everywhere with you and everywhere I follow you, Man.
  3214. Let us weep together in the desert, knowing that no one will give heed
  3215. to us...or perhaps some one will? You see: you and I are beginning
  3216. to have faith in some one's Ear and soon I will begin to believe in a
  3217. triangular Eye...it is really impossible that such a concert should
  3218. have no hearer, that such a spectacle should be wasted on the desert
  3219. air!
  3220. I think of the fact that no one has yet beaten me, and I am afraid.
  3221. What will become of my soul when some one's grubby hand strikes me
  3222. on the face.... What will become of me! For I know that no earthly
  3223. revenge could return my face to me. And what will then become of my
  3224. soul?
  3225. I swear I will become reconciled even to this. Everywhere with you and
  3226. after you, man. What is my face when you struck the face of your own
  3227. Christ and spat into his eyes? Everywhere with you! And if necessary,
  3228. I myself will strike at Christ with the hand with which I now write:
  3229. I go with you to all ends, man. They beat us and they will continue
  3230. to beat us. We beat Christ and will still beat him.... Ah, bitter is
  3231. our life, almost unbearable!
  3232. Only a while ago, I rejected your embraces. I said they were
  3233. premature. But now I say: let us embrace more firmly, brother, let us
  3234. cling closely to each other--it is so painful, so terrible to be alone
  3235. in this life when all exits from it are closed. And I know not yet
  3236. wherein there is more pride and liberty: in going away voluntarily,
  3237. whenever one wishes, or in accepting, without resistance, the hand
  3238. of the executioner? In calmly placing one's hands upon his breast,
  3239. putting one foot forward and, with head proudly bent backward, to wait
  3240. calmly:
  3241. "Do thy duty, executioner!"
  3242. Or:
  3243. "Soldiers, here's my breast: fire!"
  3244. There is something plastic in this pose and it pleases me. But still
  3245. more am I pleased with the fact that once again my greater Ego
  3246. is rising within me at the striking of this pose. Of course, the
  3247. executioner will not fail to do his duty and the soldiers will not
  3248. lower their rifles, but the important thing is the line, the _moment_,
  3249. when before my very death itself I shall suddenly find myself immortal
  3250. and broader than life itself. It is strange, but with one turn of the
  3251. head, with one phrase, expressed or conceived at the proper moment, I
  3252. could, so to speak, halt the function of my very spirit and the entire
  3253. operation would be performed outside of me. And when death shall have
  3254. finally performed its rôle of redeemer, its darkness would not eclipse
  3255. the light, for the latter will have first separated itself from me and
  3256. scattered into space, in order to reassemble somewhere and blaze forth
  3257. again...but where?
  3258. Strange, strange.... I sought to escape from men--and found myself
  3259. at that wall of Unconsciousness known only to Satan! How important,
  3260. indeed, is the pose! I must make note of that. But will the pose be
  3261. as convincing and will it not lose in plasticity if instead of death,
  3262. the executioner and the firing squad I should be compelled to say
  3263. something else...well, something like:
  3264. "Here's my face: strike!"
  3265. I do not know why I am so concerned about my face, but it does concern
  3266. me greatly. I confess, man, that it worries me very much indeed. No,
  3267. a mere trifle. I will simply subdue my spirit. Let them beat me! When
  3268. the spirit is crushed the operation is no more painful or humiliating
  3269. than it would be if I were to beat my overcoat on its hanger....
  3270. ...But I have forgotten that I am not alone and being in your
  3271. company have fallen into impolite meditation. For a half hour I have
  3272. been silent over this sheet of paper and it seemed all the time as if
  3273. I had been talking and quite excitedly! I forgot that it is not enough
  3274. to think, that one must also speak! What a shame it is, man, that for
  3275. the exchange of thoughts we must resort to the service of such a poor
  3276. and stealthy broker as the word--he steals all that is precious and
  3277. defiles the best thoughts with the chatter of the market place. In
  3278. truth, this pains me much more than death or the beating.
  3279. I am terrified by the necessity of _silence_ when I come upon the
  3280. _extraordinary_, which is inexpressible. Like a rivulet I run and
  3281. advance only as far as the ocean: in the depths of the latter is the
  3282. end of my murmuring. Within me, however, motionless and omnipresent,
  3283. rocking to and fro, is the ocean. It only hurls noise and surf upon
  3284. the earth, but its depths are dumb and motionless and quite without
  3285. any purpose are the ships sailing on its surface. How shall I describe
  3286. it?
  3287. Before I resolved to enroll myself as an earthly slave I did not
  3288. speak to Maria or to Magnus.... Why should I speak to Maria when her
  3289. beckoning is _clear_, like her gaze? But having become a slave I went
  3290. to Magnus to complain and to seek advice--apparently the human begins
  3291. thus.
  3292. Magnus heard me in silence and, as it seemed to me, with some inner
  3293. excitement. He works day and night, virtually knowing no rest, and
  3294. the complicated business of the liquidation of my property is moving
  3295. forward as rapidly in his hands as if he had been engaged in such work
  3296. all his life. I like his heroic gestures and his contempt for details:
  3297. when he cannot unravel a situation he hurls millions out of the window
  3298. with the grace of a grandee. But he is weary and his eyes seem larger
  3299. and darker on the background of his dim face. Only now have I learned
  3300. from Maria that he is tortured by frequent headaches.
  3301. My complaints against life, I fear, have failed to arouse any
  3302. particular sympathy on his part: No matter what the accusations
  3303. I brought against man and the life he leads, Magnus would reply
  3304. impatiently:
  3305. "Yes, yes, Wondergood. That is what being a man means. Your
  3306. misfortune is that you discovered this rather late and are now quite
  3307. unnecessarily aroused. When you shall have _experienced_ at least
  3308. a part of that which now terrifies you, you will speak in quite
  3309. a different tone. However, I am glad that you have dropped your
  3310. _indifference_: you have become, much more nervous and energetic. But
  3311. whence comes this immeasurable terror in your eyes? Collect yourself,
  3312. Wondergood!"
  3313. I laughed.
  3314. "Thank you. I am quite collected. Apparently it is the _slave_, in
  3315. expectation of the whip, who peers at you from within my eye. Have
  3316. patience, Magnus. I am not quite acclimated to the situation. Tell me,
  3317. shall I or shall I not be compelled to commit...murder?"
  3318. "Quite possibly."
  3319. "And can you tell me _how_ this happens?"
  3320. Both of us looked simultaneously at his white hands and Magnus replied
  3321. somewhat ironically:
  3322. "No, I will not tell you that. But if you wish I will tell you
  3323. something else: I will tell you what it means to accept man to the
  3324. _very end_--it is this that is really worrying you, is it not?"
  3325. And with much coolness and a sort of secret impatience, as if
  3326. another thought were devouring his attention, he told me briefly of
  3327. a certain unwilling and terrible murderer. I do not know whether he
  3328. was telling me a fact or a dark tale created for my personal benefit,
  3329. but this was the story: It happened long ago. A certain Russian, a
  3330. political exile, a man of wide education yet deeply religious, as
  3331. often happens in Russia, escaped from _katorga_, and after long and
  3332. painful wandering over the Siberian forests, he found refuge with
  3333. some non-conformist sectarians. Huge, wooden, fresh huts in a thick
  3334. forest, surrounded by tall fences; great bearded people, large ugly
  3335. dogs--something on that order. And in his very presence, soon after
  3336. his arrival, there was to be performed a monstrous crime: these insane
  3337. mystics, under the influence of some wild religious fanaticism, were
  3338. to sacrifice an innocent _lamb_, i.e., upon a home-made altar, to
  3339. the accompaniment of hymns, they were to kill a child. Magnus did
  3340. not relate all the painful details, limiting himself solely to the
  3341. fact that it was a seven year old boy, in a new shirt, and that his
  3342. young mother witnessed the ceremony. All the reasonable arguments,
  3343. all the objections of the exile that they were about to perform a
  3344. great sacrilege, that not the mercy of the Lord awaited them but the
  3345. terrible tortures of hell, proved powerless to overcome the fierce
  3346. and dull stubbornness of the fanatics. He fell upon his knees,
  3347. begged, wept and tried to seize the knife--at that moment the victim,
  3348. stripped, was already on the table while the _mother_ was trying
  3349. desperately to control her tears and cries--but he only succeeded in
  3350. rousing the mad anger of the fanatics: they threatened to kill him,
  3351. too....
  3352. Magnus looked at me and said slowly with a peculiar calm:
  3353. "And how would you have acted in that case, Mr. Wondergood?"
  3354. "Well, I would have fought until I was killed?"
  3355. "Yes! He did better. He offered his services and with his _own_ hand,
  3356. with appropriate song, he cut the boy's throat. You are astonished?
  3357. But he said: 'Better for me to take this terrible sin and punishment
  3358. upon myself than to surrender into the arms of hell these innocent
  3359. fools.' Of course, such things happen only with Russians and, it seems
  3360. to me, he himself was somewhat deranged. He died eventually in an
  3361. insane asylum."
  3362. Following a period of silence, I asked:
  3363. "And how would you have acted, Magnus?"
  3364. And with still greater coolness, he replied:
  3365. "Really, I do not know. It would have depended on the moment. It is
  3366. quite possible I would have left those beasts, but it is also possible
  3367. that I too...human madness is extremely contagious, Mr. Wondergood!"
  3368. "Do you call it only madness?"
  3369. "I said: human madness. But it is you who are concerned in this,
  3370. Wondergood: _how_ do you like it? I am off to work. In the meantime,
  3371. devote yourself to discerning the _boundary_ of the human, which you
  3372. are now willing to accept in its entirety, and then tell me about it.
  3373. You have not changed your intention, I hope, of remaining with _us_?"
  3374. He laughed and went away, patronizingly polite. And I remained to
  3375. think. And so I think: where is the boundary?
  3376. I confess that I have begun to fear Magnus somewhat...or is this
  3377. fear one of the gifts of my complete human existence? But when
  3378. he speaks to me in this fashion I become animated with a strange
  3379. confusion, my eyes move timidly, my will is bent, as if too great and
  3380. strange a load had been put upon it. Think, man: I shake his big hand
  3381. with _reverence_ and find _joy_ in his caress! This is not true of me
  3382. before, but now, in every conversation, I perceive that this man can
  3383. go _further_ than I in everything.
  3384. I fear I _hate_ him. If I have not yet experienced love, I know not
  3385. hatred either, and it will be strange indeed if I should be compelled
  3386. to begin by hating the _father_ of Maria!... In what a fog we do
  3387. live, man! I have just merely mentioned the name of Maria, her clear
  3388. gaze has only touched my soul and already my hatred of Magnus is
  3389. extinguished (or did I only conjure it up?) and extinguished also is
  3390. my fear of man and life (or did I merely invent it?) and great joy,
  3391. great peace has descended upon me.
  3392. It is as if I were again a white schooner on the glassy ocean; as if
  3393. I held all answers in my hand and were merely too lazy to open it and
  3394. read therein, as if _immortality_ had returned to me...ah, I can
  3395. speak no more, oh, man! Let me press your hand?
  3396. April 6, 1914.
  3397. The good Toppi approves _all_ my actions. He amuses me greatly, this
  3398. good Toppi. As I expected, he has _completely_ forgotten his true
  3399. origin: he regards all my reminders of our past as jests. Sometimes
  3400. he laughs but more often he frowns as if he were hurt, for he is
  3401. religious and considers it an insult to be compared with a "horny"
  3402. devil, even in jest: he himself is now convinced that devils have
  3403. horns. His Americanism, at first pale and weak, like a pencil sketch,
  3404. has now become filled with color, and I, myself, am ready to believe
  3405. all the nonsense given out by Toppi as his life--it is so sincere
  3406. and convincing. According to _him_, he has been in my service about
  3407. fifteen years and particularly amusing it is to hear his stories of
  3408. his youth.
  3409. Apparently he, too, has been touched by the charms of _Maria_: my
  3410. decision to surrender all my money to her father astonished him much
  3411. less than I expected. He merely chewed his cigar for a moment and
  3412. asked:
  3413. "And what will he do with your money?"
  3414. "I do not know, Toppi."
  3415. He raised his brow and frowned:
  3416. "You are joking, Mr. Wondergood?"
  3417. "You see, Toppi: just now we, i.e., Magnus is occupied in converting
  3418. my estate into gold and jamming it into banks, in his name, of course.
  3419. You understand?"
  3420. "How can I fail to understand, Mr. Wondergood?"
  3421. "These are all preliminary, essential steps. What may happen further...I
  3422. do not know yet."
  3423. "Oh, you are jesting again?"
  3424. "You must remember, old man, that I myself did not know what to do
  3425. with my money. It is not money that I need but new activity. You
  3426. understand? But Magnus _knows_. I do not know yet what his plans are
  3427. but it is what Magnus said that is important to me: 'I will compel you
  3428. to work, Wondergood!' Oh, Magnus is a great man. You will see that for
  3429. yourself, Toppi!"
  3430. Toppi frowned again and replied:
  3431. "You are master of your money, Mr. Wondergood."
  3432. "Ah, you have forgotten everything, Toppi! Don't you remember about
  3433. that _play_? That I wanted to play?"
  3434. "Yes, you did say something about it. But I thought you were joking."
  3435. "No, I was not joking. I was only mistaken. They do play here but this
  3436. is not a theater. It is a gambling house and so I gave all my money
  3437. to Magnus: let him break the bank. You understand? He is the banker,
  3438. he will manage the game and I shall simply do the betting.... Quite a
  3439. life, eh?"
  3440. Apparently the old fool understood nothing. He kept raising and
  3441. lowering his eyebrows and again inquired:
  3442. "And how soon may we expect your betrothal to Signorina Maria?"
  3443. "I do not know yet, Toppi. But that is not the thing. I see you are
  3444. dissatisfied. You do not trust Magnus?"
  3445. "Oh, Signor Magnus is a worthy man. But one thing I do fear, Mr.
  3446. Wondergood, if you will permit me to be frank: he is a man who does
  3447. not believe. This seems strange to me: how can the father of Signorina
  3448. Maria be a non-believer? Is that not so? Permit me to ask: do you
  3449. intend to give anything to his Eminence?"
  3450. "That depends now on Magnus."
  3451. "Oh! On Signor Magnus? So, so. And do you know that His Eminence has
  3452. already been to see Signor Magnus? He was here a few days ago and
  3453. spent several hours in this study. You were not at home at that time."
  3454. "No, I do not know. We have not spoken about that, but have no fear:
  3455. we will find _something_ for the cardinal. Confess, old man: you are
  3456. quite enchanted with that old monkey?"
  3457. Toppi glanced at me sharply and sighed. Then he lapsed into
  3458. thought...and strange as it may seem--something akin to a monkey
  3459. appeared in his countenance, as in the cardinal's. Later, from
  3460. somewhere deep within him, there appeared a smile. It illumined his
  3461. hanging nose, rose to his eyes and blazed forth within them in two
  3462. bright, little flames, not devoid of wanton malice. I looked at him in
  3463. astonishment and even with joy: yes that was my old Toppi, risen from
  3464. his human grave.... I am convinced that his hair again has the smell
  3465. of fur instead of oil! Gently I kissed his brow--old habits cannot be
  3466. rooted out--and exclaimed:
  3467. "You are enchanting, Toppi! But _what_ was it that gave you such joy?"
  3468. "I waited to see whether he would show Maria to the cardinal?"
  3469. "Well?"
  3470. "He did not!"
  3471. "Well?"
  3472. But Toppi remained silent. And as it had come so did the smile
  3473. disappear, slowly: at first the hanging nose grew pale and became
  3474. quite indistinct, then all at once the flames within his eyes went
  3475. out--and again the old dejection, sourness and odor of church
  3476. hypocrisy buried him who had been resurrected for a moment. It would
  3477. have been useless to trouble the ashes with further questions.
  3478. This happened yesterday. A warm rain fell during the day but it
  3479. cleared up towards evening and Magnus, weary and apparently suffering
  3480. with headache, suggested that we take a ride into the Campagna. We
  3481. left our chauffeur behind, a practice peculiar to all our intimate
  3482. trips. His duties were performed by Magnus, with extraordinary skill
  3483. and daring. On this occasion, his usual daring reached the point of
  3484. audacity: despite the ever-thickening twilight and the muddy road,
  3485. Magnus drove the automobile at such mad speed that more than once did
  3486. I look up at his broad, motionless back. But that was only at first:
  3487. the presence of Maria, whom I supported with my arm (I do not dare
  3488. say embraced!) soon brought me to the loss of all my senses. I cannot
  3489. describe it all to you--so that you would really feel it--the aromatic
  3490. air of the Campagna, which caressed my face, the magnificence and
  3491. charm of our arrow-like speed, my virtual loss of all sensation of
  3492. material weight, of the complete disappearance of _body_, when I felt
  3493. myself a speeding thought, a flying gaze....
  3494. But still less can I tell you of _Maria_. Her Madonna gaze whitened
  3495. in the twilight, like marble; like the mysterious silence and perfect
  3496. beauty of marble was her gentle, sweet and wise silence. I barely
  3497. touched her slender, supple figure, but if I had been embracing within
  3498. the hollow of my hand the entire firmness of earth and sky I could
  3499. not have felt a more complete mastery of the _whole world_! Do you
  3500. know what a line is in measurement? Not much,--is that not so? And it
  3501. was only by the measure of a line that Maria bent her divine form to
  3502. me--no, no more than that! But what would you say, man, if the _sun_,
  3503. coming down from its course just one line were to come closer to you
  3504. by that distance? Would you not consider it a _miracle_?
  3505. My existence seemed unbounded, like the universe, which knows neither
  3506. your time nor distance. For a moment there gleamed before me the wall
  3507. of my unconsciousness, that unconquerable barrier against which the
  3508. spirit of him who has donned the human form beats in vain,--and as
  3509. quickly did it disappear: it was swallowed, without sound or conflict,
  3510. by the waves of my new sea. Even higher they rose, enshrouding the
  3511. world. There was no longer anything to remember for me or to know: my
  3512. new human soul remembered all and commanded all. I am a man!
  3513. What gave me the idea that I hate Magnus? I looked at this motionless,
  3514. erect and firm human back and thought that behind it a heart was
  3515. beating. I thought of how painful and terrible it was for it to remain
  3516. firm and erect and of how much pain and suffering had already fallen
  3517. to the lot of this human creature, no matter how proud it might appear
  3518. or dejected. And suddenly I realized to the extent of pain and tears,
  3519. how much I loved Magnus, this very same Magnus! He speeds so wildly
  3520. and has no fear! And the very moment I sensed this, Maria's eyes
  3521. turned upon me.... Ah, they are as bright at night as they are by day!
  3522. But at that moment there was a troubled look within them. They were
  3523. asking: Why these tears?
  3524. What could I say in reply with the aid of weak words! I silently took
  3525. Maria's hand and pressed it to my lips. And without taking her gaze
  3526. off me, shining in cold, marble luster, she quietly withdrew her
  3527. hand--and I became confused--and again gave it to me, taking off her
  3528. glove. Will you permit me to discontinue, man? I do not know who you
  3529. are, you who are reading these lines, and I rather fear you...your
  3530. swift and daring imagination. Moreover, a gentleman feels ill at ease
  3531. in speaking of his success with the ladies. Besides, it was time to
  3532. return: on the hills the lights of Tivoli were already gleaming and
  3533. Magnus reduced his speed.
  3534. We were moving quite slowly on the return trip and Magnus, grown
  3535. merry, wiping his brow with his handkerchief, now and then addressed
  3536. brief remarks to us. There is one thing I will not conceal: her
  3537. unquestionable womanliness emphasizes the completeness of my
  3538. transformation. As we walked up the broad stairs of my palazzo, amid
  3539. its princely wealth and beauty, I suddenly thought:
  3540. "Why not send all this adventure to the devil? Why not simply wed and
  3541. live like a prince in this palace? There will be freedom, children,
  3542. laughter, just earthly happiness and love."
  3543. And again I looked at Magnus. He seemed strange to me: "I will
  3544. take your money!" Then I saw the stern gaze of my Maria--and the
  3545. contradiction between her love and this plan of simple, modest
  3546. happiness was so great and emphatic that my thought did not even
  3547. require an answer. I now recollect this thought accidentally as a
  3548. curiosity of "Toppism." Let me call it "Toppism" in honor of my
  3549. perfect Toppi.
  3550. The evening was charming. At Magnus' request, Maria sang. You cannot
  3551. imagine the reverence with which Toppi listened to her singing! He
  3552. dared not utter a word to Maria, but on leaving he shook my hand long
  3553. and with particular warmth. Then, similarly, he shook the hand of
  3554. Magnus. I also rose to retire.
  3555. "Do you intend to do some work yet, Magnus?"
  3556. "No. Don't you want to go to sleep, Wondergood? Come to my room. We'll
  3557. chat a bit. Incidentally, there is a paper for you to sign. Do you
  3558. want any wine?"
  3559. "Oh, with pleasure, Magnus. I love conversation at night."
  3560. We drank the wine. Magnus, whistling something out of tune, silently
  3561. walked the carpet, while I, as usual, reclined in a chair. The Palazzo
  3562. was all silence, like a sarcophagus, and this reminded me of that
  3563. stirring night when Mad Mars raved behind the wall. Suddenly, Magnus
  3564. exclaimed loudly, without hesitation:
  3565. "The affair is progressing splendidly."
  3566. "So?"
  3567. "In two weeks everything will be completed. Your swollen, scattered
  3568. wealth, in which one can be lost as in a wood, will be transformed
  3569. into a clear, concise and exact sack of gold...to be more
  3570. correct--into a mountain. Do you know the exact estimate of your
  3571. money, Wondergood?"
  3572. "Oh, don't, Magnus. I don't want to know it. Moreover, it's your
  3573. money."
  3574. Magnus looked at me quickly and said sharply:
  3575. "No, it's yours."
  3576. I shrugged my shoulders. I did not want to argue. It was so quiet and
  3577. I so enjoyed watching this strong man silently pacing to and fro. I
  3578. still remembered his motionless, stern back, behind which I could
  3579. clearly see his heart. He continued, after a pause:
  3580. "Do you know, Wondergood, that the Cardinal has been here?"
  3581. "The old monkey? Yes, I know. What did he want?"
  3582. "The same thing. He wanted to see you but I did not feel like taking
  3583. you away from your thoughts."
  3584. "Thanks. Did you drive him out?"
  3585. Magnus replied angrily:
  3586. "I am sorry to say,--no. Don't put on airs, Wondergood: I have already
  3587. told you that we must be careful of him as long as we remain here. But
  3588. you are quite right. He is an old, shaven, useless, evil, gluttonous,
  3589. cowardly monkey!"
  3590. "Ah, ah! Then why not show him the door?"
  3591. "Impossible."
  3592. "I believe you, Magnus. And what does this king I hear about want, he
  3593. who is to visit us some of these days?"
  3594. "Ex-king. Probably the same thing. You should receive him yourself, of
  3595. course."
  3596. "But only in your presence. Otherwise I refuse. You must understand,
  3597. my friend, that from that memorable night on I have been merely your
  3598. disciple. You find it impossible to drive out the old monkey? Very
  3599. well, let him remain. You say we must receive some ex-king? Very well,
  3600. receive him. But I would rather be hanged on the first lamppost than
  3601. to do so without knowing your reason."
  3602. "You are jesting again, Wondergood."
  3603. "No, I am _quite_ serious, Magnus. But I swear by eternal salvation
  3604. that I know not what we are doing or intend to do. I am not reproaching
  3605. you. I am not even questioning you: as I have already told you, I
  3606. trust you and am ready to follow your directions. That you may not
  3607. again reproach me with levity and impracticability, I may add a little
  3608. business detail: Maria and her love are my hostages. Moreover, I
  3609. do not yet know to what you intend to devote your energy, of whose
  3610. boundlessness I am becoming more convinced each day; what plans and
  3611. ends your experience and mind have set before you. But of one thing I
  3612. have no doubt: they will be huge plans, great objects. And I, too,
  3613. shall always find something to do beside you...at any rate this will
  3614. be much better than my brainless old women and six secretaries. Why do
  3615. you refuse to believe in my modesty, as I believe in your...genius.
  3616. Imagine that I am come from some other planet, from Mars, for instance,
  3617. and wish in the most serious manner possible, to pass through the
  3618. experience of a _man_.... It is all very simple, Magnus!"
  3619. Magnus frowned at me for a few moments and suddenly broke into
  3620. laughter:
  3621. "You certainly are a pilgrim from some other planet, Wondergood!...
  3622. And what if I should devote your gold to doing evil?"
  3623. "Why? Is that so very interesting?"
  3624. "Hm!... You think _that is_ not interesting?"
  3625. "Yes, and so do you. You are too big a man to do little evil, just as
  3626. billions constitute too much money, while honestly as far as great
  3627. evil is concerned, I know not yet what _great evil_ is? Perhaps it is
  3628. really _great good_? In my recent contemplations, there...came to
  3629. me a strange thought: Who is of greater _use_ to man--he who hates or
  3630. he who loves him? You see, Magnus, how ignorant I still am of human
  3631. affairs and...how ready I am for almost anything."
  3632. Without laughter and, with what seemed to me, extreme curiosity,
  3633. Magnus measured me with his eyes, as if he were deciding the
  3634. question: is this a fool I see before me, or the foremost sage of
  3635. America? Judging by his subsequent question he was nearer the second
  3636. opinion:
  3637. "So, if I have correctly understood your words, you are afraid of
  3638. _nothing_, Mr. Wondergood?"
  3639. "I think _not_."
  3640. "And murder...many murders?"
  3641. "You remember the point you made in your story about the boy of the
  3642. _boundary_ of the human? In order that there may be no mistake, I have
  3643. moved it forward several kilometers. Will that be enough?"
  3644. Something like respect arose in Magnus' eyes...the devil take him,
  3645. though, he really considers me a clod! Continuing to pace the room, he
  3646. looked at me curiously several times, as if he were trying to recall
  3647. and verify my remark. Then, with a quick movement, he touched my
  3648. shoulders:
  3649. "You have an active mind, Wondergood. It is a pity I did not come to
  3650. know you before."
  3651. "Why?"
  3652. "Just so. I am interested to know how you will speak to the king: he
  3653. will probably suggest something very evil to you. And great evil is
  3654. great good. Is that not so?"
  3655. He again broke into laughter and shook his head in a friendly fashion.
  3656. "I don't think so. The chances are he will propose something very
  3657. silly."
  3658. "Hm!... And is that not great wisdom?" He laughed again but frowned
  3659. suddenly and added seriously: "Do not feel hurt, Wondergood. I liked
  3660. what you said very much and it is well you do not put any questions
  3661. to me at this time: I could not answer them just now. But there is
  3662. something I can say even now...in general terms, of course. Are you
  3663. listening?"
  3664. "I am all attention."
  3665. Magnus seated himself opposite me and, taking a sip of wine, asked
  3666. with strange seriousness:
  3667. "How do you regard explosives?"
  3668. "With great respect."
  3669. "Yes? That is cold praise, but, I dare say, they don't deserve
  3670. much more. Yet, there was a time when I worshiped dynamite as I do
  3671. frankness...this scar on my brow is the result of my youthful
  3672. enthusiasm. Since then I have made great strides in chemistry--and
  3673. other things--and this has cooled my zeal. The drawback of every
  3674. explosive, beginning with powder, is that the explosion is confined to
  3675. a limited space and strikes only the things near at hand: it might do
  3676. for war, of course, but it is quite inadequate where bigger things are
  3677. concerned. Besides, being a thing of material limitations, dynamite
  3678. or powder demands a constantly guiding hand: in itself, it is dumb,
  3679. blind and deaf, like a mole. To be sure, in Whitehead's mine we find
  3680. an attempt to create consciousness, giving the shell the power to
  3681. correct, so to speak, certain mistakes and to maintain a certain aim,
  3682. but that is only a pitiful parody on eyesight...."
  3683. "And you want your 'dynamite' to have consciousness, will and eyes?"
  3684. "You are right. That is what I want. And my new _dynamite_ does have
  3685. these attributes: will, consciousness, eyes."
  3686. "And what is your aim? But this sounds...terrible."
  3687. Magnus smiled faintly.
  3688. "Terrible? I fear your terror will turn to laughter when I give you
  3689. the name of my dynamite. It is _man_. Have you never looked at man
  3690. from this point of view, Wondergood?"
  3691. "I confess,--no. Does dynamite, too, belong to the domain of
  3692. psychology? This is all very ridiculous."
  3693. "Chemistry, psychology!" cried Magnus, angrily: "that is all because
  3694. knowledge has been subdivided into so many different subjects, just
  3695. as a hand with ten fingers is now a rarity. You and your Toppi--all
  3696. of us are explosive shells, some loaded and ready, others still to be
  3697. loaded. And the crux of the matter lies, you understand, in how to
  3698. load the shell and, what is still more important: how to explode it.
  3699. You know, of course, that the method of exploding various preparations
  3700. depends upon their respective compositions?"
  3701. I am not going to repeat here the lecture on explosives given me
  3702. by Magnus with great zeal and enthusiasm: it was the first time I
  3703. had seen him in such a state of excitement. Despite the absorbing
  3704. interest of the subject, as my friends the journalists would say, I
  3705. heard only half the things he was saying and concentrated most of
  3706. my attention on his skull, the skull which contained such wide and
  3707. dangerous knowledge. Whether it was due to the conviction carried in
  3708. Magnus' words, or to pure weariness--I know not which--this round
  3709. skull, blazing with the flames of his eyes, gradually assumed the
  3710. character of a real, explosive shell, of a bomb, with the fuse lit for
  3711. action.... I trembled when Magnus carelessly threw upon the table a
  3712. heavy object resembling a cake of grayish-yellow soap, and exclaimed
  3713. involuntarily:
  3714. "What's that?"
  3715. "It looks like soap or wax. But it has the force of a devil. One
  3716. half of this would be enough to blow St. Peter's into bits. It is a
  3717. capricious Devil. You may kick it about or chop it into pieces, you
  3718. may burn it in your stove, it will remain ever silent: a dynamite
  3719. shell may tear it apart yet it will not rouse its wrath. I may throw
  3720. it into the street, beneath the hoofs of horses; the dogs may bite at
  3721. it and children may play with it--and still it remains indifferent.
  3722. But I need only apply a current of high pressure to it--and the force
  3723. of the explosion will be monstrous, limitless. A strong but silly
  3724. devil!"
  3725. With equal carelessness, bordering almost upon contempt, Magnus threw
  3726. his devil back into the table drawer and looked at me sternly. My
  3727. eyebrows twitched slightly:
  3728. "I see you know your subject to perfection, and I rather like this
  3729. capricious devil of yours. But I would like to hear you discuss _man_."
  3730. Magnus laughed:
  3731. "And was it not of him I have just spoken? Is not the history of this
  3732. piece of soap the history of your _man_, who can be beaten, burned,
  3733. hacked to bits, hurled beneath the hoofs of horses, thrown to the
  3734. dogs, torn into shreds--without rousing his consuming wrath or even
  3735. his anger? But prick him with _something_--and the explosion will be
  3736. terrible...as you will learn, Mr. Wondergood."
  3737. He laughed again and rubbed his white hands with pleasure: he scarcely
  3738. remembered at that moment that human blood was already upon them.
  3739. And is it really necessary for _man_ to remember that? After a pause
  3740. commensurate with the respect due to the subject, I asked:
  3741. "And do you know how to make a _man_ explode?"
  3742. "Certainly."
  3743. "And would you consider it permissible to give me this information?"
  3744. "Unfortunately it is not so easy or convenient because the current of
  3745. high pressure would require too much elucidation, dear Wondergood."
  3746. "Can't you put it briefly?"
  3747. "Oh, briefly. Well, it is necessary to promise man some _miracle_."
  3748. "Is that all?"
  3749. "That is all."
  3750. "Lies once more? The old monkey?"
  3751. "Yes, lies again. But not the old monkey. It is not that I have in
  3752. mind. Neither crusades nor immortality in heaven. This is the period
  3753. of other miracles and other wonders. He promised resurrection to the
  3754. dead. I promise resurrection to the living. His followers were the
  3755. dead. Mine...ours--are the living."
  3756. "But the dead _did not arise_. How about the living?"
  3757. "Who _knows_? _We must make an experiment._ I cannot yet confide in
  3758. you the business end of the enterprise but I warn you: the experiment
  3759. must be conducted on a very large scale. You are not afraid, Mr.
  3760. Wondergood?"
  3761. I shrugged my shoulders indicating nothing definite. What could I
  3762. answer? This gentleman carrying upon his shoulders a bomb instead of
  3763. a head again split me into two halves, of which _man_, alas, was the
  3764. lesser one. As Wondergood, I confess without shame, I felt cruel fear
  3765. and even pain: just as if the monstrous explosion had already touched
  3766. my bones and were now breaking them...ah, but where is my endless
  3767. happiness with Maria, where the boundless peace of mind, where the
  3768. devil is that white schooner? No, as Great Immortal Curiosity, as
  3769. the genius of _play_ and eternal movement, as the rapacious gaze of
  3770. unclosing eyes I felt--I confess this, too, without shame--great joy,
  3771. bordering upon ecstasy! And with a shiver of delight I mumbled:
  3772. "What a pity I did not know that before."
  3773. "Why a pity?"
  3774. "Oh, just so. Do not forget that I am come from another planet and
  3775. am only now getting acquainted with man. So what shall we do with
  3776. this--planet--Magnus?"
  3777. He laughed again:
  3778. "You are a strange fellow, Wondergood! With this planet? We will give
  3779. it a little holiday. But enough jesting. I do not like it!" He frowned
  3780. angrily and looked at me sternly, like an old professor...the manner
  3781. of this gentleman was not distinguished by flippancy. When it seemed
  3782. to him that I had grown sufficiently serious he shook his head in
  3783. approval and asked: "Do you know, Wondergood, that the whole of Europe
  3784. is now in a very uneasy state?"
  3785. "War?"
  3786. "Possibly war. Everybody is secretly expecting it. _But_ war precedes
  3787. the belief in the kingdom of _miracles_. You understand: we have lived
  3788. too long in simple faith in the multiplication table, _we_ are tired
  3789. of the multiplication table, _we_ are filled with ennui and anxiety
  3790. on this straight road whose mire is lost in infinity. Just now all
  3791. of us are demanding some miracle and soon the day will come when we
  3792. will demand the miracle immediately! It is not I alone who wants _an
  3793. experiment on a large scale_--the whole world is preparing it...ah,
  3794. Wondergood, in truth, life would not be worth the candle if it were
  3795. not for these highly interesting moments! Highly interesting!" He
  3796. greedily rubbed his hands.
  3797. "You are pleased?"
  3798. "As a chemist, I am in ecstasy. My shells are already loaded, without
  3799. being themselves conscious of the fact, but they will know it well
  3800. enough when I apply the torch. Can you imagine the sight when _my_
  3801. dynamite will begin to explode, its consciousness, its will, its eyes
  3802. directed straight upon its goal?"
  3803. "And blood? Perhaps my reminder is out of place but I remember an
  3804. occasion when you spoke of _blood_ with much excitement."
  3805. Magnus fixed his long gaze upon me: something akin to suffering
  3806. appeared in his eyes: But this was not the prick of conscience or
  3807. pity--it was the emotion of a mature and wise man whose thoughts had
  3808. been interrupted by the foolish question of a child: "Blood," he said,
  3809. "what blood?"
  3810. I recalled to him his words on that occasion and told him of my
  3811. strange and extremely unpleasant dream about the bottles, filled with
  3812. blood instead of wine, and so easily broken. Weary, with his eyes
  3813. closed, he listened to my tale and sighed heavily.
  3814. "Blood!"--he murmured: "blood! that's nonsense. I told you many trite
  3815. things on that occasion, Wondergood, and it is not worth while to
  3816. recall them. However, if _this_ gives you fear, it is not too late."
  3817. I replied resolutely:
  3818. "I fear _nothing_. As I have already said, I shall follow you
  3819. everywhere. It is _my_ blood that is protesting--you understand?--not
  3820. my consciousness or will. Apparently I shall be the first to be fooled
  3821. by you: I, too, seek a miracle. Is not your _Maria_ a miracle? I have
  3822. been repeating the multiplication table night and day and I have grown
  3823. to hate it like the bars of a prison. From the point of view of your
  3824. chemistry, I am quite loaded and I ask but one thing: blow me up as
  3825. quickly as possible!"
  3826. Magnus agreed sternly:
  3827. "Very well. In about two weeks. Are you satisfied?"
  3828. "Thank you. I hope that Signorina Maria will then become my wife?"
  3829. Magnus laughed.
  3830. "Madonna?"
  3831. "Oh, I don't understand your smile...and, I must say, my hope is
  3832. altogether in conformity with the regard I bear for your daughter,
  3833. Signor Magnus."
  3834. "Don't excite yourself, Wondergood. My smile was not about Maria but
  3835. about your faith in miracles. You are a splendid fellow, Wondergood.
  3836. I am beginning to love you like a son. In two weeks you will receive
  3837. everything and then we shall conclude a new and strong pact. Your
  3838. hand, comrade!"
  3839. For the first time he shook my hand in a strong, comradely fashion. I
  3840. would have kissed him if there had been a simple human head instead of
  3841. a bomb upon his shoulders. But to touch a bomb! Not even in the face
  3842. of my utmost respect for him!
  3843. That was the first night that I slept like one slain and the stone
  3844. walls of the palace did not press upon me. The walls were brushed by
  3845. the explosive power of Magnus' speech, while the roof melted away
  3846. beneath the starry coverlet of Maria: my soul departed into the realms
  3847. of her calm love and refuge. The mountain Tivoli and its fires--that
  3848. was what I saw as I fell into slumber.
  3849. April 8, Rome.
  3850. Before knocking at my door, His Majesty, the ex-King E. had knocked
  3851. at no small number of entrances in Europe. True to the example of
  3852. his apostolic ancestors, who believed in the gold of Israel, he
  3853. particularly liked to approach Jewish bankers; I believe that the
  3854. honor done me by his visit was based upon his firm conviction that
  3855. I was a Jew. Although His Majesty was visiting Rome incognito, I,
  3856. warned of his visit, met him at the foot of the stairs and bowed low
  3857. to him--I think that is the requirement of etiquette. Then, also in
  3858. accordance with etiquette, we introduced ourselves, he--his adjutant,
  3859. I--Thomas Magnus.
  3860. I confess I had not a very flattering opinion of the former king
  3861. and that is why he astonished me all the more with his high opinion
  3862. of himself. He gave me his hand politely but with such haughty
  3863. indifference, he looked at me with such complete self-confidence, as
  3864. if he were gazing at a being of a lower order, he walked ahead of me
  3865. so naturally, sat down without invitation, gazed upon the walls and
  3866. furniture in such frankly royal manner, that my entire uneasiness due
  3867. to my unfamiliarity with etiquette disappeared immediately. It was
  3868. only necessary to follow this fellow, who appeared to know everything
  3869. so well. In appearance he was quite a young man, with fresh complexion
  3870. and magnificent coiffure, somewhat worn out but sufficiently
  3871. well-preserved, with colorless eyes and a calm, brazenly protruding
  3872. lower lip. His hands were beautiful. He did not try to conceal that he
  3873. was bored by my American face, which appeared Jewish to him, and by
  3874. the necessity of asking me for money: he yawned slightly after seating
  3875. himself and said:
  3876. "Sit down, gentlemen."
  3877. And with a slight command of the hand he ordered the adjutant to state
  3878. the nature of his proposal. He paid no attention to Magnus at all,
  3879. and while the fat, red and obliging adjutant was stealthily narrating
  3880. the story of the "misunderstanding" which caused the departure of His
  3881. Majesty from his country--His Majesty was nonchalantly examining his
  3882. feet. Finally, he interrupted his representative's speech with the
  3883. impatient remark:
  3884. "Briefer, Marquis. Mr.... Wondergood is as well familiar with this
  3885. history as we are. In a word, these fools kicked me out. How do you
  3886. regard it, dear Wondergood?"
  3887. "How do I regard it?" I bowed low:
  3888. "I am glad to be of service to Your Majesty."
  3889. "Well, yes, that's what they all say. But will you give me any money?
  3890. Continue, Marquis."
  3891. The Marquis, smiling gently at me and Magnus (despite his obesity he
  3892. looked quite hungry) continued to weave his thin flimsy web about the
  3893. misunderstanding, until the bored king again interrupted him:
  3894. "You understand: these fools thought that I was responsible for all
  3895. their misfortunes. Wasn't that silly, Mr. Wondergood? And now they are
  3896. worse off than ever and they write: 'Come back, for God's sake. We are
  3897. perishing!' Read the letters, Marquis."
  3898. At first the king spoke with a trace of excitement but apparently
  3899. any effort soon wearied him. The Marquis obediently took a packet
  3900. of papers from the portfolio and tortured us with the complaints of
  3901. the orphaned subjects, begging their lord to return. I looked at the
  3902. king: he was no less bored than we were. It was so clear to him that
  3903. the people could not exist without him that all confirmations of
  3904. this seemed superfluous.... And I felt so strange: whence does this
  3905. miserable man get so much happy confidence? There was no doubt that
  3906. this bird, unable to find a crumb for himself, sincerely believed in
  3907. the peculiar qualities of his personage, capable of bestowing upon a
  3908. whole people marvelous benefactions. Stupidity? Training? Habit? At
  3909. that moment the marquis was reading the plea of some correspondent, in
  3910. which, through the web of official mediocrity and the lies of swollen
  3911. phrases, gleamed the very same confidence and sincere call. Was that,
  3912. too, stupidity and habit?
  3913. "And so forth, and so forth," interrupted the king listlessly: "that
  3914. will do, Marquis, you may close your portfolio. Well, what you think
  3915. of it, dear Mr. Wondergood?"
  3916. "I will be bold enough to say to Your Majesty that I am a
  3917. representative of an old, democratic republic and...."
  3918. "Stop, Wondergood! Republic, democracy! That's nonsense. You know well
  3919. enough yourself that a king is a necessity. You, in America, will
  3920. have a king, too, some day. How can you get along without a king: who
  3921. will be responsible for them before God? No, that's foolish."
  3922. This creature was actually getting ready to answer for the people
  3923. before God! And he continued with the same calm audacity:
  3924. "The king can do everything. And what can a president do? Nothing.
  3925. Do you understand, Wondergood--_Nothing!_ Why, then, do you want a
  3926. president who can do nothing?"--he deigned to twist his lower lip into
  3927. a sarcastic smile.--"It is all nonsense, invented by the newspapers.
  3928. Would you, for example, take your president seriously, Mr. Wondergood?"
  3929. "But representative government...."
  3930. "Fi! Excuse me, Mr. Wondergood (he recalled my name with
  3931. great difficulty) but what fool will pay any attention to the
  3932. representatives of the people? Citizen A will pay heed to Citizen B
  3933. and Citizen B will pay heed to Citizen A--is that not so? But who will
  3934. compel their obedience if both of them are wise? No, I, too, have
  3935. studied logic, Mr. Wondergood and you will permit me to indulge in a
  3936. laugh!"
  3937. He laughed slightly and said with his usual gesture:
  3938. "Continue, Marquis.... No, let me do it. The King can do
  3939. _everything_, Wondergood, you understand?"
  3940. "But the law...."
  3941. "Ah, this fellow, too, speaks of law. Do you hear, Marquis? No, I
  3942. really can't understand what you want this law for! That all may
  3943. suffer equitably! However, if you are so keen on having law, law you
  3944. shall have. But who will give it to you, if not I?"
  3945. "But the representatives of the people...."
  3946. The king directed his colorless eyes upon me, almost in despair:
  3947. "Ah, again citizen A and B! But can't you understand, dear Wondergood?
  3948. What kind of a law is it if they themselves make it? What wise man
  3949. will agree to obey it? No, that's nonsense. Is it possible that you
  3950. yourself obey this law, Wondergood?"
  3951. "Not only I, Your Majesty, but the whole of America...."
  3952. His eyes measured me with sympathy.
  3953. "Pardon me, but I don't believe it. The whole of America! Well, in
  3954. that case they simply don't understand what law is--do you hear,
  3955. Marquis, the whole of America! But that's not the thing. I must
  3956. return, Wondergood. You've heard what the poor devils write?"
  3957. "I am happy to see that the road is open for you, my lord."
  3958. "Open? You think so? Hm! No, I need money. Some write and others
  3959. don't, you understand?"
  3960. "Perhaps they don't know how to write, my lord?"
  3961. "They? Oh! You should have seen what they wrote against me. I was
  3962. quite flustered. What they need is the firing squad."
  3963. "All of them?"
  3964. "Why all of them? Some of them will be enough. The rest of them will
  3965. simply be scared to death. You understand, Wondergood, they have
  3966. simply stolen my power from me and now, of course, will simply refuse
  3967. to return it. You can't expect me to see to it that no one robs me.
  3968. And these gentlemen,"--he indicated the blushing Marquis--"to my
  3969. sorrow did not manage to guard my interests."
  3970. The Marquis mumbled confusedly:
  3971. "Sire!"
  3972. "Now, now, I know your devotion, but you were asleep at the switch
  3973. just the same? And now there is so much trouble, so much trouble!"--he
  3974. sighed lightly. "Did not Cardinal X. tell you I needed money,
  3975. Mr. Wondergood? He promised to. Of course I will return it all
  3976. and...however, you should take this matter up with the Marquis. I have
  3977. heard that you love people very much, Mr. Wondergood?"
  3978. A faint smile flitted over the dim face of Magnus. I bowed slightly.
  3979. "The Cardinal told me so. That is very praiseworthy, Mr. Wondergood.
  3980. But if you do love people you will certainly give me money. I don't
  3981. doubt that in the least. They must have a king. The newspapers are
  3982. merely prattling nonsense. Why do they have a king in Germany, a king
  3983. in England, a king in Italy, and a hundred other kings? And don't we
  3984. need a king too?"
  3985. The adjutant mumbled:
  3986. "A misunderstanding...."
  3987. "Of course a misunderstanding. The Marquis is quite right. The
  3988. newspapers call it a revolution, but believe me, I know my people; it
  3989. is simply a misunderstanding. They are now weeping themselves. How can
  3990. they get along without a king? There would be no kings at all then.
  3991. You understand? What nonsense! They now talk of no God, too. No, we
  3992. must do a little shooting, a little shooting!"
  3993. He rose quickly and this time shook my hand with a patronizing smile
  3994. and bowed to Magnus.
  3995. "Good-by, good-by, my dear Wondergood. You have a magnificent
  3996. figure.... Oh, what a splendid fellow! The Marquis will drop in to
  3997. see you one of these days. There was something more I wanted to say.
  3998. Oh, yes: I hope that you in America will have a king, too, in the near
  3999. future...that is very essential, my friend. Moreover, that's bound
  4000. to be the end! Au revoir!"
  4001. We escorted His Majesty with the same ceremony. The Marquis followed
  4002. and his bowed head, divided into two halves by the part in his reddish
  4003. hair, and his red face bore the expression of hunger and constant
  4004. failure.... Ah, he has so frequently and so fruitlessly orated about
  4005. that 'misunderstanding'! The King, apparently, also recalled at that
  4006. moment his vain knocking about at other thresholds: his bloodless face
  4007. again filled with grayish ennui and in reply to my parting bow, he
  4008. opened wide his eyes, as if in astonishment, with the expression: what
  4009. more does this fool want? Ah, yes, he has money. And lazily he asked:
  4010. "And so, you'll not forget, Mr....friend!" And his automobile was
  4011. magnificent and just as magnificent was the huge chauffeur, resembling
  4012. a gendarme, attired for the new rôle. When we had reascended the
  4013. stairs (our respectful lackeys meanwhile gazing upon me as on a royal
  4014. personage) and entered our apartments, Magnus fell into a long, ironic
  4015. silence. I asked:
  4016. "How old is this creature?"
  4017. "Didn't you know, Wondergood? That's bad. He is 32 years old. Perhaps
  4018. less."
  4019. "Did the Cardinal really speak of him and ask you to give him money?"
  4020. "Yes,--from what you may have left after the Cardinal's wants are
  4021. attended to."
  4022. "That is probably due to the fact that the monarchist form of
  4023. government is also in vogue in heaven. Can you conceive of a republic
  4024. of saints and the administration of the world on the basis of popular
  4025. representation? Think of it: even devils will then receive the vote. A
  4026. King is most necessary, Wondergood. Believe me."
  4027. "Nonsense! This is not worthy even of a jest."
  4028. "I am not jesting. You are mistaken. And pardon me for being so
  4029. direct, my friend: in his discussion about kings _he_ was above you,
  4030. this time. You saw only a creature, a countenance of purely material
  4031. limitations and ridiculous. _He_ conceived himself to be a symbol.
  4032. That is why he is so calm and there is no doubt that he will return to
  4033. his beloved people."
  4034. "And will do a little shooting."
  4035. "And will do a little shooting. And will throw a little scare into
  4036. them. Ah, Wondergood, how stubborn you are in your refusal to part
  4037. with the multiplication table! Your republic is a simple table, while
  4038. a king--do you realize it?--is a _miracle_! What can there be simpler,
  4039. sillier and more hopeless than a million bearded men, governing
  4040. themselves,--and how wonderful, how miraculous when this million of
  4041. bearded fellows are governed by a creature! That is a miracle! And
  4042. what possibilities it gives rise to! It seemed very funny to me when
  4043. you spoke with so much warmth about the law, this dream of the devil.
  4044. A king is necessary for the precise purpose of _breaking_ the law, in
  4045. order that the _will_ may be _above_ the law!"
  4046. "But laws change, Magnus."
  4047. "To change is only to submit to necessity and to new law, which was
  4048. unknown to you before. Only by breaking the law do you elevate the
  4049. _will_. Prove to me that God himself is subject to his own laws, i.e.,
  4050. to put it simply, that he cannot perform miracles, and to-morrow your
  4051. shaven monkey will share the fate of loneliness and all the churches
  4052. will be turned into horse stables. The miracle, Wondergood, the
  4053. miracle--that is what holds human beings on this cursed earth!"
  4054. Magnus emphasized these words by banging the table with his fist. His
  4055. face was gloomy. In his dark eyes there flickered unusual excitement.
  4056. Speaking as if he were threatening some one, he continued:
  4057. "_He_ believes in miracles and I envy him. He is insignificant, he is
  4058. really what you might call a creature, but he believes in miracles.
  4059. And he has already been a king and will be a king again! And we!..."
  4060. He waved his hand contemptuously and began to pace the carpet like an
  4061. angry captain on the deck of _his_ vessel. With much respect I gazed
  4062. upon his heavy, explosive head and blazing eyes: for the first time I
  4063. realized what _Satanic_ ambitions there were concealed in this strange
  4064. gentlemen. "And we!" Magnus noticed my gaze and shouted angrily:
  4065. "Why do you look at me like that, Wondergood? It's silly! You are
  4066. thinking of my ambition? That's foolish, Wondergood! Would not _you_,
  4067. a gentleman of Illinois, also like to be...well, at least, Emperor
  4068. of _Russia_, where the _will_ is still above the law?"
  4069. "And on what particular throne have you your eye, Magnus?" I replied,
  4070. no longer concealing my irony.
  4071. "If you are pleased to think of me so flatteringly, Wondergood, I will
  4072. tell you that I _aim_ much higher. Nonsense, my friend! Only bloodless
  4073. moralists have never dreamt of a crown, just as only eunuchs have
  4074. never tempted themselves with the thought of woman. Nonsense! But I do
  4075. not seek a throne--not even the Russian throne: it is too cramping."
  4076. "But there is another throne, Signor Magnus: the throne of God."
  4077. "But why only the throne of God? And have you forgotten Satan's, Mr.
  4078. Wondergood?"
  4079. And this he said to Me...or did the whole street know that my throne
  4080. was vacant? I bowed my head respectfully and said:
  4081. "Permit me to be the first to greet you...Your Majesty."
  4082. Magnus turned on me in wild wrath, gnashing his teeth, like a dog over
  4083. a contested bone. And this angry atom wants to be Satan! This handful
  4084. of earth, hardly enough for one whiff for the Devil, is dreaming to
  4085. be crowned with my crown! I bowed my head still lower and dropped
  4086. my eyes: I felt the gleaming flame of contempt and divine laughter
  4087. blazing forth within them. I realized that it must not be given to
  4088. my honored ward to know this _laughter_. I do not know how long we
  4089. remained silent, but when our eyes met again they were clear, pure and
  4090. innocent, like two bright rays in the shade. Magnus was the first to
  4091. speak:
  4092. "And so?" he said.
  4093. "And so?" I replied.
  4094. "Will you order money for the king?"
  4095. "The money is at your disposal, my dear friend."
  4096. Magnus looked at me thoughtfully.
  4097. "It's not worth while," he decided. "This miracle is old stuff. It
  4098. requires too many police to compel belief. We shall perform a better
  4099. miracle."
  4100. "Oh, undoubtedly. We shall contrive a better device. In two weeks?"
  4101. "Yes, about that!" replied Magnus cordially.
  4102. We shook hands warmly in parting and in about two hours the gracious
  4103. king sent each of us a decoration: some sort of a star for me and
  4104. something else for Magnus. I rather pitied the poor idiot who
  4105. continued to play his lone hand.
  4106. April 16, Rome.
  4107. Maria is somewhat indisposed and I hardly see her. Magnus informed me
  4108. of her illness--and lied about it: for some reason he does not want me
  4109. to see her. Does he fear anything?
  4110. Again Cardinal X. called on him in my absence. Nothing is being said
  4111. to me about the "miracle."
  4112. But I am patient,--and I wait. At first this was rather boresome but
  4113. recently I have found a new pastime and now I am quite content. It is
  4114. the Roman museums, where I spend my mornings, like a conscientious
  4115. American who has just learned to distinguish between a painting
  4116. and a piece of sculpture. But I have no Baedecker with me and I am
  4117. strangely happy that I don't understand a thing about it all: marble
  4118. and painting. I merely like it.
  4119. I like the odor of the sea in the museums. Why the sea?--I do not
  4120. know: the sea is far away and I rather expected the odor of decay.
  4121. And it is so spacious here--much more spacious than the Campagna. In
  4122. the Campagna I see only space, over which run trains and automobiles.
  4123. Here I swim in time. There is so much time here! Then, too, I rather
  4124. like the fact that here they preserve with great care a chip of a
  4125. marble foot or a stony sole with a bit of the heel. Like an ass from
  4126. Illinois, I simply cannot understand what value there is in this, but
  4127. I already believe that it is valuable and I am touched by your careful
  4128. thrift, little man! Preserve it! Go on breaking the feet of live men.
  4129. That is nothing. But these you must preserve. It is good, indeed, when
  4130. living, dying, ever changing men, for the space of 2000 years, take
  4131. such good care of a chip of marble foot.
  4132. When I enter the narrow museum from the Roman street, where every
  4133. stone is drowned in the light of the April sun, its transparent and
  4134. even shadow seems to me a peculiar light, more durable than the
  4135. expensive rays of the sun. As far as I _recollect_ it is thus that
  4136. eternity doth shine. And these marbles! They have swallowed as much
  4137. sunlight as an Englishman whiskey before they were driven into this
  4138. place that they do not fear night at all.... And I, too, do not fear
  4139. the night when I am near them. Take care of them, man!
  4140. If _this_ is what you call art, what an ass you are, Wondergood. Of
  4141. course, you are cultured, you look upon art with reverence as upon
  4142. religion and you have understood as much of it as that ass did on
  4143. which the Messiah entered Jerusalem. And what if there should be a
  4144. fire? Yesterday this thought troubled me all day and I went with it to
  4145. Magnus. But he seems extremely occupied with something and could not,
  4146. at first, understand what I was driving at.
  4147. "What's the trouble, Wondergood? You want to insure the Vatican--or
  4148. something else? Make it clearer?"
  4149. "Oh! to insure!" I exclaimed in anger: "you are a barbarian, Thomas
  4150. Magnus!"
  4151. At last he understood. Smiling cordially, he stretched, yawned and
  4152. laid some paper before me.
  4153. "You really are a gentleman from Mars, dear Wondergood. Don't
  4154. contradict, and sign this paper. It is the last one."
  4155. "I will sign, but under one condition. Your explosion must not touch
  4156. the Vatican."
  4157. He laughed again:
  4158. "Would you be sorry? Then you had better not sign. In general, if you
  4159. are sorry about anything--about anything at all--it would be better
  4160. for us to part before it is too late. There is no room for pity in my
  4161. game and my play is not for sentimental American girls."
  4162. "If you please...." I signed the paper and threw it aside. "But it
  4163. seems as if you have earnestly entered upon the duties of Satan, dear
  4164. Magnus!"
  4165. "And does Satan have duties? Poor Satan! Then I don't want to be
  4166. Satan!"
  4167. "Neither duties nor obligations?"
  4168. "Neither duties nor obligations."
  4169. "And what then?"
  4170. He glanced at me quickly with his gleaming eyes and replied with one
  4171. short word, which cut the air before my face:
  4172. "_Will._"
  4173. "And...the current of high pressure?"
  4174. Magnus smiled patronizingly:
  4175. "I am very glad that you remember my words so well, Wondergood. They
  4176. may be of use to you some day."
  4177. Cursed dog. I felt so much like striking him that I--bowed
  4178. particularly low and politely. But he restrained me with a gracious
  4179. gesture, pointing to a chair:
  4180. "Where are you going, Wondergood? Sit down. We have seen so little of
  4181. each other of late. How is your health?"
  4182. "Fine, thank you. And how is the health of Signorina Maria?"
  4183. "Not particularly good. But it's a trifle. A few more days of waiting
  4184. and you.... So you like the museums, Wondergood? There was a time
  4185. when I, too, gave them much time and feeling. Yes, I remember, I
  4186. remember.... Don't you find, Wondergood, that man, in mass, is a
  4187. repulsive being?"
  4188. I raised my eyes in astonishment:
  4189. "I do not quite understand this change of subject, Magnus. On the
  4190. contrary, the museums have revealed to me a new and more attractive
  4191. side of man...."
  4192. He laughed.
  4193. "Love for mankind?... Well, well, do not take offense at the
  4194. jest, Wondergood. You see: everything that man does in crayon is
  4195. wonderful--but repulsive in painting. Take the sketch of Christianity,
  4196. with its sermon on the Mount, its lilies and its ears of corn, how
  4197. marvelous it is! And how ugly is its picture with its sextons, its
  4198. funeral pyres and its Cardinal X.! A genius begins the work and an
  4199. idiot, an animal, completes it. The pure and fresh wave of the ocean
  4200. tide strikes the dirty shore--and returns dirty, bearing back with
  4201. it corks and shells. The beginning of love, the beginning of the
  4202. Roman Empire and the great revolution--how good are all beginnings!
  4203. And their end? And even if a man here and there has managed to die
  4204. as beautifully as he was born, the masses, the masses, Wondergood,
  4205. invariably end the liturgy in shamelessness!"
  4206. "Oh, but what about the causes, Magnus?"
  4207. "The causes? Apparently we find concealed here the very _substance_
  4208. of man, of animal, evil and limited in the mass, inclined to madness,
  4209. easily inoculated with all sorts of disease and crowning the widest
  4210. possible road with a standstill. And that is why Art is so much above
  4211. Man!"
  4212. "I do not understand."
  4213. "_What_ is there incomprehensible about it? In art it is the genius
  4214. who begins and the genius completes. You understand: the genius! the
  4215. fool, the imitator or the critic is quite powerless to change or mar
  4216. the paintings of Velasquez, the sculpture of Angelo or the verse of
  4217. Homer. He can destroy, smash, break, burn or deface, but he is quite
  4218. powerless to bring them down to his own level--and that is why he so
  4219. detests real art. You understand, Wondergood? His paw is helpless!"
  4220. Magnus waved his white hand and laughed.
  4221. "But why does he guard and protect it so assiduously?"
  4222. "It is not _he_ who guards and protects. This is done by a special
  4223. species of _faithful watchmen_"--Magnus laughed again: "and did you
  4224. observe how uncomfortable they feel in the museum?"
  4225. "Who--they?"
  4226. "Well, those who came to view the things! But the most ridiculous
  4227. phase of the whole business is not that the fool is a fool but that
  4228. the genius unswervedly worships the fool as a neighbor and fellow
  4229. being and anxiously seeks his devastating love. As if he were a savage
  4230. himself, the genius does not understand that _his_ true neighbor is a
  4231. genius similar to himself and he is eternally opening his embraces to
  4232. the near--human...who eagerly crawls into them in order to abstract
  4233. the watch from his vest pocket! Yes, my dear Wondergood, it is a most
  4234. laughable point and I fear...."
  4235. He lapsed into thought, fixing his eyes upon the floor: thus
  4236. apparently do human beings gaze into the depths of their own graves.
  4237. And I understood just what this genius feared, and once again I bowed
  4238. before the Satanic mind which in all the world recognized only itself
  4239. and its own will. Here was a god who would not share his power with
  4240. Olympus! And what a contempt for mankind! And what open contempt for
  4241. me! Here was a grain of earth that could make the devil himself sneeze!
  4242. And do you know how I concluded that evening? I took my pious Toppi by
  4243. the neck and threatened to shoot him if he did not get drunk with me.
  4244. And drunk we did get! We began in some dirty little café and continued
  4245. in some night taverns where I generously filled some black-eyed
  4246. bandits with liquor, mandolin players and singers, who sang to me
  4247. of Maria: I drank like a farm hand who had just arrived in the city
  4248. after a year of sober labor. Away with the museums! I remember that
  4249. I shouted much and waved my hands--but never did I love my _Maria_
  4250. so tenderly, so sweetly and so painfully as in that smoke of drink,
  4251. permeated with the odor of wine, oranges and some burning fat, in this
  4252. wide circle of black bearded stealthy faces and rapaciously gleaming
  4253. eyes, amid the melodious strains of mandolins which opened for me the
  4254. very vestibules of heaven and hell!
  4255. I vaguely remember some very accommodating but pompous murderers, whom
  4256. I kissed and forgave in the name of Maria. I remember that I proposed
  4257. that all of us go to drink in the Coliseum, in the very place where
  4258. martyrs used to die but I do not know why we did not do it--I believe
  4259. there were technical difficulties. And how splendid Toppi was! At
  4260. first he drank long and silently, like an archbishop. Then he suddenly
  4261. began to perform interesting feats. He put a bottle of Chianti on
  4262. his nose, the wine running all over him. He tried to perform some
  4263. tricks with cards but was immediately caught by the affable bandits
  4264. who brilliantly repeated the same trick. He walked on all fours and
  4265. sang some religious verses through his nose. He cried and suddenly
  4266. announced frankly that he was a devil.
  4267. We walked home staggering along the street, bumping into walls and
  4268. lampposts and hilariously enjoying ourselves like two students. Toppi
  4269. tried to pick a quarrel with some policemen, but, touched by their
  4270. politeness, he ended by conferring his stern blessing upon them,
  4271. saying gloomily:
  4272. "Go and sin no more."
  4273. Then he confessed with tears that he was in love with a certain
  4274. signorina, that his love was requited and that he must therefore
  4275. resign his spiritual calling. Saying this, he lay down upon a stony
  4276. threshold and fell into a stubborn sleep. And thus I left him.
  4277. Maria, Maria, how you tempt me! Not once have I touched your lips.
  4278. Yesterday I kissed only red wine...but whence come these burning
  4279. traces on my lips? But yesterday I stood upon my knees, Madonna, and
  4280. covered you with flowers: but yesterday I timidly laid hands upon
  4281. the hem of your garment, and to-day you are only a woman and I want
  4282. you. My hands are trembling. The obstacles, the halls, the paces and
  4283. the thresholds separating us drive me mad. I want you! I did not
  4284. recognize my own eyes in the mirror: there is a thick shadow upon
  4285. them. I breathe heavily and irregularly, and all day long my thoughts
  4286. are wandering lustfully about your naked breast. I have forgotten
  4287. everything.
  4288. In whose power am I? It bends me like soft, heated iron. I am
  4289. deafened, I am blinded by my own heat and sparks. What do you do,
  4290. man, when _that_ happens to you? Do you simply go and take the woman?
  4291. Do you violate her? Think: it is night now and Maria is so close by.
  4292. I can approach her room without a sound...and I want to hear her
  4293. cries! But suppose Magnus bars the road for me? I will kill Magnus.
  4294. Nonsense.
  4295. No, tell me, in whose power am I? You ought to know that man? To-day,
  4296. just before evening, as I was seeking to escape from myself and Maria,
  4297. I wandered about the streets, but it was worse there: everywhere I
  4298. saw men and women, men and women. As if I had never seen them before!
  4299. They all appeared naked to me. I stood long at Monte-Picio and tried
  4300. to grasp what a sunset was but could not: before me there passed by in
  4301. endless procession those men and women, gazing into each other's eyes.
  4302. Tell me--what is Woman? I saw one--very beautiful--in an automobile.
  4303. The sunset threw a rosy glow upon her pale face and in her ears there
  4304. glistened two diamond sparks. She gazed upon the sunset and the sunset
  4305. gazed on her, but I could not endure it: sorrow and love gripped my
  4306. heart, as if I were dying. There behind her were trees, green, almost
  4307. black.
  4308. Maria! Maria!
  4309. April 19, Isle of Capri.
  4310. Perfect calm reigned upon the sea. From a high precipice I gazed long
  4311. upon a little schooner, motionless in the blue expanse. Its white
  4312. sails were rigidly still and it seemed as happy as on that memorable
  4313. day. And, again, great calm descended upon me, while the holy name of
  4314. _Maria_ resounded purely and peacefully, like the Sabbath bells on the
  4315. distant shore.
  4316. There I lay upon the grass, my face toward the sky. The good earth
  4317. warmed my back, while my eyes were pierced with warm light, as if
  4318. I had thrust my face into the sun. Not more than three paces away
  4319. there lay an abyss, a steep precipice, a dizzying wall, and it was
  4320. delightful to imbibe the odor of grass and the Spring flowers of
  4321. Capri. There was also the odor of Toppi, who was lying beside me:
  4322. when he is heated by the sun he emits the smell of fur. He was all
  4323. sunburned, just as if he had been smeared with coal. In general, he is
  4324. a very amiable old Devil.
  4325. The place where we lay is called Anacapri and constitutes the elevated
  4326. part of the island. The sun had already set when we began our trip
  4327. downward and a half moon had risen in the sky. But there was the same
  4328. quiet and warmth and from somewhere came the strains of mandolins in
  4329. love, calling to Maria. Maria everywhere! But my love breathed with
  4330. great calm, bathed in the pure moonlight rays, like the little white
  4331. houses below. In such a house, at one time, did Maria live, and into
  4332. just such a house I will take her in about four days.
  4333. A high wall along which the road ran, concealed the moon from us and
  4334. here we beheld the statue of an old Madonna, standing in a niche,
  4335. high above the road and the surrounding bushes. Before her burned
  4336. with a weak flame the light of an image-lamp, and she seemed so alive
  4337. in her watchful silence that my heart grew cold with sweet terror.
  4338. Toppi bowed his head and mumbled a prayer, while I removed my hat and
  4339. thought:
  4340. How high above this earthly vessel, filled with moonlit twilight and
  4341. mysterious charms, you stand. Thus does _Maria_ stand above my soul....
  4342. Enough! Here again the extraordinary begins and I must pause. We
  4343. shall soon drink some champagne and then we shall go to the café. I
  4344. understand they expect some mandolin players from Naples there to-day.
  4345. Toppi would rather be shot than follow me: his conscience troubles him
  4346. to this day. But it is good that I will be alone.
  4347. April 23--Rome,
  4348. Palazzo Orsini.
  4349. ...Night. My palace is dead and silent, as if it were one of the
  4350. ruins of ancient Rome. Beyond the large window lies the garden: it
  4351. is transparent and white with the rays of the moon and the vaporous
  4352. pole of the fountain resembles a headless vision in a silver veil. Its
  4353. splash is scarcely heard through the thick window-pane--as if it were
  4354. the sleepy mumbling of the night guard.
  4355. Yes, this is all beautiful and...how do you put it?--it breathes
  4356. with love. Of course, it would be good to walk beside Maria over the
  4357. blue sand of the garden path and to trample upon her shadow. But I
  4358. am disturbed and my disquiet is wider than love. In my attempts to
  4359. walk lightly I wander about the room, lean against the wall, recline
  4360. in silence in the corners, and all the time I seem to hear something.
  4361. Something far away, a thousand kilometers from here. Or is this all
  4362. lodged in my memory--that which I strain my ear to catch? And the
  4363. thousand kilometers--are they the thousand years of my life?
  4364. You would be astonished if you saw how I was dressed. My fine
  4365. American costume had suddenly become unbearably heavy, so I put on
  4366. my bathing suit. This made me appear thin, tall and wiry. I tried to
  4367. test my nimbleness by crawling about the floor, suddenly changing the
  4368. direction, like a noiseless bat. But it is not I who am restless. It
  4369. is my muscles that are filled with this unrest, and I know not what
  4370. they want. Then I began to feel cold. I dressed and sat down to write.
  4371. I drank some wine and drew down the curtains to shut the white garden
  4372. from my eyes. Then I examined and fixed my Browning. I intend to take
  4373. it with me to-morrow for a friendly chat with Magnus.
  4374. You see, Thomas Magnus has some _collaborators_. That is what he calls
  4375. those gentlemen unknown to me who respectfully get out of my way when
  4376. we meet, but never greet me, as if we were meeting in the street and
  4377. not in my house. There were two of them when I went to Capri. Now they
  4378. are six, according to what Toppi tells me, and they live here. Toppi
  4379. does not like them. Neither do I. They seem to have no _faces_. I
  4380. could not see them. I happened to think of that just now when I tried
  4381. to recall them.
  4382. "These are my assistants," Magnus told me to-day without trying in the
  4383. least to conceal his ridicule.
  4384. "Well, I must say, Magnus, they have had bad training. They never
  4385. greet me when we meet."
  4386. "On the contrary, dear Wondergood! They are very well-mannered.
  4387. They simply cannot bring themselves to greet you without a proper
  4388. introduction. They are...extremely correct people. However, you will
  4389. learn all to-morrow. Don't frown. Be patient, Wondergood! Just one
  4390. more night!"
  4391. "How is Signorina Maria's health?"
  4392. "_To-morrow_ she will be well." He placed his hand upon my shoulder
  4393. and brought his dark, evil, brazen eyes closer to my face: "The
  4394. passion of love, eh?"
  4395. I shook off his hand and shouted:
  4396. "Signor Magnus! I...."
  4397. "You?"--he frowned at me and calmly turned his back upon me: "Till
  4398. to-morrow, Mr. Wondergood!"
  4399. That is why I loaded my revolver. In the evening I was handed a letter
  4400. from Magnus: he begged my pardon, said his conduct was due to unusual
  4401. excitement and he sincerely sought my friendship and confidence. He
  4402. also agreed that his _collaborators_ are really ill-mannered folk. I
  4403. gazed long upon these hasty illegible lines and felt like taking with
  4404. me, not my revolver, but a cannon.
  4405. One more night, but how long it is!
  4406. _There is danger facing me._
  4407. I feel it and my muscles _know_ it, too. Do you think that I am merely
  4408. afraid? I swear by eternal salvation--no! I know not where my fear has
  4409. disappeared, but only a short while ago I was afraid of everything:
  4410. of darkness, death and the most inconsequential pain. And now I fear
  4411. nothing. I only feel strange...is that how you put it: strange?
  4412. Here I am on your earth, man, and I am thinking of another person who
  4413. is dangerous to me and I myself am--man. And there is the moon and
  4414. the fountain. And there is Maria, whom I love. And here is a glass
  4415. and wine. And this is--my and your life. Or did I simply imagine that
  4416. I was Satan once? I see _it_ is all an invention, the fountain and
  4417. Maria and my very thoughts on the man--Magnus, but the _real_ my mind
  4418. can neither unravel nor understand. I assiduously examine my memory
  4419. and it is silent, like a closed book, and I have no power to open this
  4420. enchanted volume, concealing the whole past of my being. Straining my
  4421. eyesight, I gaze into the bright and distant depth from which I came
  4422. upon this pasteboard earth--but I see nothing in the painful ebb and
  4423. flow of the boundless fog. There, behind the fog, is my country, but
  4424. it seems--it seems I have quite forgotten the road.
  4425. I have again returned to Wondergood's bad habit of getting drunk alone
  4426. and I am slightly drunk now. No matter. It is the last time. I have
  4427. just seen something after which I wish to see nothing else. I felt
  4428. like taking a look at the white garden and to imagine how it would
  4429. feel to walk beside Maria over the path of blue sand. I turned off the
  4430. light in the room and opened wide the draperies. And the white garden
  4431. arose before me, like a dream, and--think of it!--over the path of
  4432. blue sand there walked a man and a woman--and the woman was Maria!
  4433. They walked quietly, trampling upon their own shadows, and the man
  4434. embraced her. The little counting machine in my breast beat madly,
  4435. fell to the floor and broke, when, finally, I recognized the man--it
  4436. was Magnus, only Magnus, dear Magnus, the father. May he be cursed
  4437. with his fatherly embraces!
  4438. Ah, how my love for _Maria_ surged up again within me! I fell on my
  4439. knees before the window and stretched out my hands to her.... To be
  4440. sure, I had already seen something of that kind in the theater, but
  4441. it's all the same to me: I stretched out my hands--was I not alone and
  4442. drunk! Why should I not do what I want to do? Madonna! Then I suddenly
  4443. drew down the curtain!
  4444. Quietly, like a web, like a handful of moonlight, I will take this
  4445. vision and weave it into night dreams. Quietly!... Quietly!...
  4446. IV
  4447. May 25, 1914.--Italy.
  4448. Had I at my disposal, not the pitiful word but a strong orchestra,
  4449. I would compel all the brass trumpets to roar. I would raise their
  4450. blazing mouths to the sky and would compel them to rave incessantly in
  4451. a blazen, screeching voice which would make one's hair stand on end
  4452. and scatter the clouds in terror. I do not want the lying violins.
  4453. Hateful to me is the gentle murmur of false strings beneath the
  4454. fingers of liars and scoundrels. Breath! Breath! My gullet is like a
  4455. brass horn. My breath--a hurricane, driving forward into every narrow
  4456. cleft. And all of me rings, kicks and grates like a heap of iron in
  4457. the face of the wind. Oh, it is not always the mighty, wrathful roar
  4458. of brass trumpets. Frequently, very frequently it is the pitiful wail
  4459. of burned, rusty iron, crawling along lonely, like the winter, the
  4460. whistle of bent twigs, which drives thought cold and fills the heart
  4461. with the rust of gloom and homelessness. Everything that fire can
  4462. touch has burned up within me. Was it I who wanted to play? Was it I
  4463. who yearned for the game? Then--look upon this monstrous ruin of the
  4464. theater wrecked by the flames: all the actors, too, have lost their
  4465. lives therein.. ah, all the actors, too, have perished, and brazen
  4466. Truth peers now through the beggarly holes of its empty windows.
  4467. By my throne,--what was that love I prattled of when I donned
  4468. this human form? To whom was it that I opened my embraces? Was it
  4469. you...comrade? By my throne!--if I was Love but _for a single moment_,
  4470. henceforth I am Hate and _eternally_ thus I remain.
  4471. Let us halt at this point to-day, dear comrade. It has been quite
  4472. some time since I moved my pen upon this paper and I must now grow
  4473. accustomed anew to your dull and shallow face, smeared o'er with the
  4474. red of your cheeks. I seem to have forgotten how to speak the language
  4475. of respectable people who have just received a trouncing. Get thee
  4476. hence, my friend. To-day I am a brass trumpet. Tickle not my throat,
  4477. little worm. Leave me.
  4478. May 26, Italy.
  4479. It was a month ago that Thomas Magnus _blew_ me up. Yes, it is true.
  4480. He really blew me up and it was a month ago, in the holy City of Rome,
  4481. in the Palazzo Orsini, when I still belonged to the billionaire Henry
  4482. Wondergood--do you remember that genial American, with his cigar and
  4483. patent gold teeth? Alas! He is no longer with us. He died suddenly and
  4484. you will do well if you order a requiem mass for him: his Illinois
  4485. soul is in need of your prayers.
  4486. Let us return, however, to his last hours. I shall try to be exact in
  4487. My recollections and give you not only the emotions but also the words
  4488. of that evening--it was evening, when the moon was shining brightly.
  4489. Perhaps I shall not give you quite the words spoken but, at any rate,
  4490. they will be the words I heard and stored away in my memory.... If you
  4491. were ever whipped, worthy comrade, then you know how difficult it was
  4492. for you to count all the blows of the whip. A change of gravity! You
  4493. understand? Oh, you understand everything. And so let us receive the
  4494. last breath of Henry Wondergood, blown up by the culprit Thomas Magnus
  4495. and buried by..._Maria_.
  4496. I remember: I awoke on the morning after that _stormy_ evening, calm
  4497. and even gay. Apparently it was the effect of the sun, shining into
  4498. that same, broad window through which, at night, there streamed that
  4499. unwelcome and too highly significant moonlight. You understand:
  4500. now the moon and now the sun? Oh, you understand everything. It is
  4501. probably for the very same reason I acquired my touching faith in the
  4502. integrity of Magnus and awaited toward evening that cloudless bliss.
  4503. This expectation was all the greater because his collaborators...you
  4504. remember his collaborators?--had begun to _greet_ and _bow_ to me.
  4505. What is a greeting?--ah, how much it means to the faith of man!
  4506. You know my good manners and, therefore, will believe me when I say
  4507. that I was cold and restrained like a gentleman who has just received
  4508. a legacy. But if you had put your ear to my belly you would have heard
  4509. violins playing within. Something about love, you understand. Oh,
  4510. you understand everything. And thus, with these violins did I come
  4511. to Magnus in the evening when the moon was shining brightly. Magnus
  4512. was alone. We were long silent and this indicated that an interesting
  4513. conversation awaited me. Finally I said:
  4514. "How is the Signorina's health?"...
  4515. But he interrupted me:
  4516. "We are facing a very difficult talk, Wondergood? Does that disturb
  4517. you?"
  4518. "Oh, no, not at all."
  4519. "Do you want wine? Well, never mind. I shall drink a little but you
  4520. need not. Yes, Wondergood?"
  4521. He laughed as he poured out the wine and here I noticed with
  4522. astonishment that he himself was _very_ excited: his large, white,
  4523. hangman's hands were quite noticeably trembling. I do not know exactly
  4524. just when my violins ceased--I think it was at that very moment.
  4525. Magnus gulped down two glasses of wine--he had intended to take only a
  4526. little--and, sitting down, continued:
  4527. "No, you ought not to drink, Wondergood. I need all your _senses_,
  4528. undimmed by anything...you didn't drink anything to-day? No? That's
  4529. good. Your _senses_ must be clear and sober. One must not take
  4530. anesthetics in such cases as...as...."
  4531. "As vivisection?"
  4532. He shook his head seriously in affirmation.
  4533. "Yes, vivisection. You have caught my idea marvelously. Yes, in cases
  4534. of vivisection of the soul. For instance, when a loving mother is
  4535. informed of the death of her son or...a rich man that he has become
  4536. penniless. But the senses, what can we do with the senses, we cannot
  4537. hold them in leash all our life! You understand, Wondergood? In the
  4538. long run, I am not in the least so cruel a man as I occasionally seem
  4539. even to myself and the _pain_ of others frequently arouses in me an
  4540. unpleasant, responsive trembling. That is not good. A surgeon's hand
  4541. must be firm."
  4542. He looked at his fingers: they no longer trembled. He continued with a
  4543. smile:
  4544. "However, wine helps some. Dear Wondergood, I swear by eternal
  4545. salvation, by which you love so to swear, that it is extremely
  4546. unpleasant for me to cause you this little...pain. Keep your senses,
  4547. Wondergood! Your senses, your senses! Your hand, my friend?"
  4548. I gave him my hand and Magnus enveloped my palm and fingers and held
  4549. them long in his own paw, strained, permeated with some kind of
  4550. electric currents. Then he let them go, sighing with relief.
  4551. "That's it. Just so. Courage, Wondergood!"
  4552. I shrugged my shoulders, lit a cigar and asked:
  4553. "Your illustration of the _very_ wealthy man who has suddenly become a
  4554. beggar,--does that concern me? Am I penniless?"
  4555. Magnus answered slowly as he gazed straight into my eyes:
  4556. "If you wish to put it that way--yes. You have nothing left.
  4557. Absolutely nothing. And this palace, too, is already sold. To-morrow
  4558. the new owners take possession."
  4559. "Oh, that is interesting. And where are my billions?"
  4560. "I have them. They are mine. I am a very wealthy man, Wondergood."
  4561. I moved my cigar to the other corner of my mouth and asked:
  4562. "And you are ready, of course, to give me a helping hand? You are a
  4563. contemptible scoundrel, Thomas Magnus."
  4564. "If that's what you call me--yes. Something on that order."
  4565. "And a liar!"
  4566. "Perhaps. In general, dear Wondergood, it is very necessary for you to
  4567. change your outlook on life and man. You are too much of an idealist."
  4568. "And you"--I rose from my chair--"for you it is necessary to change
  4569. your fellow conversationalist. Permit me to bid you good-by and to
  4570. send a police commissary in my place."
  4571. Magnus laughed.
  4572. "Nonsense, Wondergood! Everything has been done within the law. You,
  4573. yourself, have handed over everything to me. This will surprise no
  4574. one...with your love for humanity. Of course, you can proclaim
  4575. yourself insane. You understand?--and then, perhaps, I may get to the
  4576. penitentiary. But you--you will land in an insane asylum. You would
  4577. hardly like that, dear friend. Police! Well, go on talking. It will
  4578. relieve the first effects of the blow."
  4579. I think it was really difficult for me to conceal my excitement. I
  4580. hurled my cigar angrily into the fireplace, while my eye carefully
  4581. measured both the window and Magnus...no, this carcass was too big
  4582. to play ball with.
  4583. At that moment the loss of my wealth had not yet fully impressed
  4584. itself upon my mind and it was that which maddened me as much as the
  4585. brazen tone of Magnus and the patronizing manner of the old scoundrel.
  4586. In addition, I dimly sensed something portentous of evil and sorrow,
  4587. like a threat: as if some real danger were lurking not in front of me
  4588. but behind my back.
  4589. "What is this all about?" I shouted, stamping my foot.
  4590. "What is this all about?" replied Magnus, like an echo. "Yes, I
  4591. really cannot understand why you are so excited, Wondergood. You
  4592. have so frequently offered me this money and even forced it upon me
  4593. and now, when the money is in my hands, you want to call the police!
  4594. Of course," Magnus smiled--"there is a slight distinction here: in
  4595. placing your money so magnanimously at my _disposal_, you still
  4596. remained its master and the master of the situation, while now...you
  4597. understand, old friend: now I can simply drive you out of this house!"
  4598. I looked at Magnus significantly. He replied with no less a
  4599. significant shrug of the shoulders and cried angrily:
  4600. "Stop your nonsense. I am stronger than you are. Do not try to be more
  4601. of a fool than is absolutely necessitated by the situation."
  4602. "You are an unusually brazen scoundrel, Signor Magnus!"
  4603. "Again! How these sentimental souls do seek consolation in words! Take
  4604. a cigar and listen to me. I have long needed money, a great deal of
  4605. money. In my past, which I need not disclose to you, I have suffered
  4606. certain...failures. They irritated me considerably. Fools and
  4607. sentimental souls, you understand? My energy was imprisoned under lock
  4608. and key, like a bird in a cage. For three years I sat in this cursed
  4609. cage, awaiting my chance...."
  4610. "And all that--in the beautiful Campagna?"
  4611. "Yes, in the beautiful Campagna...and I had already begun to lose
  4612. hope, when you appeared. I find it difficult to express myself at this
  4613. point...."
  4614. "Be as direct as you can. Have no compunctions."
  4615. "You seemed very strange with all this love of yours for men and your
  4616. _play_, as you finally termed it, and, my friend, for a long time I
  4617. had grave doubts as to what you really were: an extraordinary fool
  4618. or just a scoundrel, like myself. You see, such extraordinary asses
  4619. appear so seldom that even I had my doubts. You are not angry?"
  4620. "Oh, not at all."
  4621. "You forced money upon me and I thought: a trap! However you made your
  4622. moves quickly and certain precautions on my part...."
  4623. "Pardon me for interrupting. So, those books of yours, your solitary
  4624. contemplation of life, that little white house and everything was all
  4625. a lie? And murder--do you remember all that drivel about hands steeped
  4626. in blood?"
  4627. "Yes, I did kill. That is true. And I have pondered much upon life,
  4628. while awaiting you, but the rest, of course, was falsehood. Very base
  4629. falsehood, but you were so credulous...."
  4630. "And.. Maria?"
  4631. I confess that I had hardly uttered this name when I felt something
  4632. clutching at my throat. Magnus looked at me sharply and said gloomily:
  4633. "We will discuss Maria, too. But how excited you are! Even your nails
  4634. have turned blue. Perhaps you'll have some wine? Well, never mind. Have
  4635. patience. I shall continue. When you began your affair with Maria...of
  4636. course with my slight assistance...I finally concluded that you
  4637. were...."
  4638. "An extraordinary ass?"
  4639. Magnus raised his hand in a consoling gesture:
  4640. "Oh, no! You seemed to me to be that at the beginning. I will tell you
  4641. quite truthfully, as I do everything I am telling you now: you are not
  4642. a fool at all, Wondergood. I have grown to know you more intimately. It
  4643. doesn't matter that you have so naïvely surrendered your billions to
  4644. me...many wise men have been fooled before by clever...scoundrels! Your
  4645. misfortune is quite another thing."
  4646. I had the strength to smile:
  4647. "My love for human beings?"
  4648. "No, my friend: your contempt for human beings! Your _contempt_ and
  4649. at the same time your naïve faith in them arising from it. You regard
  4650. human beings so far below you, you are so convinced of their fatal
  4651. powerlessness that you do not fear them at all and are quite ready to
  4652. pat the rattlesnake's head: such a nice little rattlesnake! One should
  4653. fear people, comrade! I know your _game_, but at times you were quite
  4654. sincere in your prattle about man, you even pitied him, but from an
  4655. elevation or from a sidetrack--I know not which. Oh, if you could only
  4656. hate people I would take you along with me with pleasure. But you are
  4657. an egotist, a terrible egotist, Wondergood, and I am even beginning to
  4658. shed my regrets for having robbed you, when I think of that! Whence
  4659. comes this base contempt of yours?"
  4660. "I am still only learning to be a man."
  4661. "Well, go on learning. But why do you call your professor a scoundrel:
  4662. For I am your professor, Wondergood!"
  4663. "To the devil with this prattle. So...you do not intend to take me
  4664. along with you?"
  4665. "No, my friend, I do not."
  4666. "So. Only my billions. Very well, but what about your plan: to blow
  4667. up the earth or something of that kind? Or did you lie on this point,
  4668. too? I cannot believe that you simply intend to open...a money
  4669. changer's bureau or become some ragged king!"
  4670. Magnus looked at me gloomily. There was even a gleam of sympathy in
  4671. his eyes as he replied slowly:
  4672. "No, on that point I did not lie. But you won't do for me. You would
  4673. always be hanging on to my coat tails. Just now you shouted: liar,
  4674. scoundrel, thief.... It's strange, but you are yet only learning to
  4675. be a man and you have already imbibed so much pettiness. When I shall
  4676. raise my hand to strike some one, your contempt will begin to whine:
  4677. don't strike, leave him alone, have pity. Oh, if you could only hate!
  4678. No, you are a terrible egotist, old man."
  4679. I shouted:
  4680. "The devil take you with your harping on this egotism! I am not in the
  4681. least more stupid than you, you beast, and I cannot understand what
  4682. you find so saintly in hatred!"
  4683. Magnus frowned:
  4684. "First of all: don't shout or I'll throw you out. Do you hear? Yes,
  4685. perhaps you are no more stupid than I am, but man's business is
  4686. not your business. Do you realize that, you beast? In blowing up
  4687. things, I only intend to do business and you want to be the ruler
  4688. of another's plant. Let them steal and break down the machinery and
  4689. you--you will be concerned only about your salary and the respect
  4690. due you? And I--I won't stand that! All this,"--he swept the room
  4691. with a broad gesture--"is my plant, _mine_, do you hear, and it is I
  4692. who will be robbed. I will be robbed and injured. And I hate those
  4693. who rob me. What would you have done, in the long run, with your
  4694. billions, if I had not taken them from you? Built conservatories and
  4695. raised heirs--for the perpetuation of your kind? Private yachts and
  4696. diamonds for your wife? And I...give me all the gold on earth and
  4697. I will throw it all into the flames of my hatred. And all because I
  4698. have been insulted! When you see a hunchback you throw him a lire. So
  4699. that he may continue to bear his hump, yes? And I want to destroy
  4700. him, to kill him, to burn him like a crooked log. To whom do you
  4701. appeal when you are fooled or when a dog bites your finger? To your
  4702. wife, the police, public opinion? But suppose the wife, with the aid
  4703. of your butler, plants horns on your head or public opinion fails
  4704. to understand you and instead of pitying you prefers to give you a
  4705. thrashing--then do you make your appeal to God? But I, I go to no one.
  4706. I plead before no one, but neither do I forgive. You understand? I
  4707. do not forgive! Only egotists forgive! I consider myself personally
  4708. insulted!"
  4709. I heard him in silence. Perhaps it was because I was so close to the
  4710. fireplace, gazing into the fire and listening to Magnus's words, each
  4711. new word intermingled with a fresh blaze of a burning log; no sooner
  4712. would the glowing red mass fall apart than the words, too, would break
  4713. up into particles, like hot coals. My head was not at all clear and,
  4714. under the influence of these burning, flaming, flying words I fell
  4715. into a strange, dark drowsiness. But this was what my memory retained:
  4716. "Oh, if you could only hate! If you were not so cowardly and weak of
  4717. soul! I would take you with me and would let you behold a fire which
  4718. would forever dry your miserable tears and burn your sentimental
  4719. dreams to ashes! Do you hear the song of the fools of the world? They
  4720. are merely loading the cannons. The wise man need only apply the fire
  4721. to the fuse, you understand? Could you behold calmly the sight of a
  4722. blissful sheep and hungry snake lying together, separated only by a
  4723. thin partition? I could not! I would drill just a little opening, a
  4724. little opening...the rest they would do themselves. Do you know that
  4725. from the union of truth and falsehood comes an explosion? I want to
  4726. unite. I shall do nothing myself: I shall only _complete_ what they
  4727. have begun. Do you hear how merrily they sing? I will make them dance,
  4728. too! Come with me, comrade! You sought some sort of a play--let me
  4729. give you an extraordinary spectacle! We shall bring the whole earth
  4730. into action and millions of marionettes will begin to caper obediently
  4731. at our command: you know not yet how talented and obliging they
  4732. are. It will be a splendid play and will give you much pleasure and
  4733. amusement...."
  4734. A large log fell apart and split into many sparks and hot cinders.
  4735. The flame subsided, growing morose and red. A silent heat emanated
  4736. from the dimmed, smoke-smeared hearth. It burned my face and suddenly
  4737. there arose before me my puppets' show. The heat and fire had conjured
  4738. up a mirage. I seemed to hear the crash of drums and the gay ring of
  4739. cymbals, while the merry clown turned on his head at the sight of the
  4740. broken skulls of the dolls. The broken heads continued to pile up.
  4741. Then I saw the scrap heap, with two motionless little legs protruding
  4742. from the heap of rubbish. They wore rose slippers. And the drums
  4743. continued beating: tump-tump-tump. And I said pensively:
  4744. "I think it will hurt them."
  4745. And behind my back rang out the contemptuous and indifferent reply:
  4746. "Quite possibly."
  4747. "Tump-tump-tump...."
  4748. "It is all the same to you, Wondergood, but I cannot! Can't you see:
  4749. I cannot permit every miserable biped to call himself a man. There
  4750. are too many of them, already. They multiply like rabbits, under the
  4751. stimulus of physicians and laws. Death, deceived, cannot handle them
  4752. all. It is confused and seems to have lost its dignity and moral
  4753. authority. It is wasting its time in dancing halls. I hate them. It
  4754. has become repulsive to me to walk upon this earth, fallen into the
  4755. power of a strange, strange species. We must suspend the law, at least
  4756. temporarily, and let death have its fling. However, they themselves
  4757. will see to this. No, not I, but they, will do it. Think not that I am
  4758. particularly cruel, no--I am only logical. I am only the conclusion,
  4759. the symbol of equality, the sum total, the line beneath the column of
  4760. figures. You may call it Ergo, Magnus, Ergo! They say: 'two and two'
  4761. and I reply: 'four.' Exactly four. Imagine that the world has suddenly
  4762. grown cold and immovable for a moment and you behold some such
  4763. picture: here is a free and careless head and above it--a suspended
  4764. axe. Here is a mass of powder and here a spark about to fall upon it.
  4765. But it has stopped and does not fall. Here is a heavy structure, set
  4766. upon a single, undermined foundation. But everything has grown rigid
  4767. and the foundation holds. Here is a breast and here a hand aiming a
  4768. bullet at it. Have I prepared all this? I merely touch the lever and
  4769. press it down. The axe falls upon the laughing head and crushes it.
  4770. The spark falls into the powder--all is off! The building crashes to
  4771. the ground. The bullet pierces the ready breast. And I--I have merely
  4772. touched the lever, I, Magnus Ergo! Think: would I be able to kill had
  4773. I at my disposal only violins or other musical instruments?"
  4774. I laughed:
  4775. "Only violins!"
  4776. Magnus replied with laughter: his voice was hoarse and heavy:
  4777. "But they have other instruments, too! And I will use these
  4778. instruments. See how simple and interesting all this is?"
  4779. "And what further, Magnus Ergo?"
  4780. "How do I know what's to follow? I see only _this_ page and solve only
  4781. _this_ problem. I know not what the next page contains."
  4782. "Perhaps it contains the same thing?"
  4783. "Perhaps it does. And perhaps this is the final page...well, what of
  4784. that: the sum total remains as is necessary."
  4785. "You spoke on one occasion about _miracles_?"
  4786. "Yes, that is my lever. You remember what I told you _about my_
  4787. explosive? I promise rabbits to make lions of them.... You see, a
  4788. rabbit cannot stand brains. Give a rabbit brains and he will hang
  4789. himself. Melancholy will drive him to suicide. Brains implies logic
  4790. and what can _logic_ promise to a rabbit? Nothing but a sorry fate
  4791. on a restaurant menu. What one must promise a rabbit is either
  4792. immortality for a cheap price, as does Cardinal X. or--heaven on
  4793. earth. You will see what energy, what daring, etc., my rabbit will
  4794. develop when I paint before him on the wall heavenly powers and
  4795. gardens of Eden!"
  4796. "On the wall?"
  4797. "Yes,--on a stone wall. He will storm it with all the power of his
  4798. species! And who knows...who knows...perhaps this mass may really
  4799. break through this stone wall?"
  4800. Magnus lapsed into thought. I drew away from the now extinguished
  4801. fire and looked upon the explosive head of my repulsive friend....
  4802. Something naïve, like two little wrinkles, almost like those of a
  4803. child, lay upon his stony brow. I burst into laughter and shouted:
  4804. "Thomas Magnus! Thomas Ergo! Do you believe?"
  4805. Without raising his head, as if he had not heard my laughter, he
  4806. lifted his eyes and replied pensively:
  4807. "We must try."
  4808. _But_ I continued to laugh: deep, wild--apparently human--laughing
  4809. malice began to rise within me:
  4810. "Thomas Magnus! Magnus Rabbit! Do you believe?"
  4811. He thumped the table with his fist and roared in a wild transport:
  4812. "Be quiet! I tell you: we must try. How do I know? I have never yet
  4813. been on Mars nor seen this earth inside-out. Be silent, accursed
  4814. egotist! You know nothing of our affairs. Ah, if only you could
  4815. hate!..."
  4816. "I hate already."
  4817. Magnus suddenly laughed and grew strangely calm. He sat down and
  4818. scrutinizing me from all possible angles, as if he did not believe me,
  4819. he burst out:
  4820. "You? Hate? Whom?"
  4821. "You."
  4822. He looked me over as carefully again and shook his head in doubt:
  4823. "Is that true, Wondergood?"
  4824. "If they are rabbits, you are the most repulsive of them all, because
  4825. you are a mixture of rabbit and...Satan. You are a coward! The fact
  4826. that you are a crook, a thief, a liar, a murderer is not important.
  4827. But you are a coward! That is important. I expected something more of
  4828. you. I hoped your mind would lift you above the greatest crime, but
  4829. you lift crime itself into some base philanthropy. You are as much of
  4830. a lackey as the others. The only difference between you and them is
  4831. that you have a perverted idea of service!"
  4832. Magnus sighed.
  4833. "No, that's not it. You understand nothing, Wondergood."
  4834. "And what you lack is daring, my friend. If you are Magnus Ergo...what
  4835. audacity: Magnus Ergo!--then why don't you go the limit? Then, I, too,
  4836. would follow you...perhaps!"
  4837. "Will you really come?"
  4838. "And why should I not come? Let me be Contempt, and you--Hatred. We
  4839. can go together. Do not fear lest I hang on to your coat tails. You
  4840. have revealed much to me, my dear putridity, and I shall not seize
  4841. your hand even though you raise it against yourself."
  4842. "Will you betray me?"
  4843. "And you will kill me. Is that not enough?"
  4844. But Magnus shook his head doubtfully and said:
  4845. "You will betray me. I am a living human being, while you smell like
  4846. a corpse. I do not want to have contempt for _myself_. If I do, I
  4847. perish. Don't you dare to look at me! Look upon the others!"
  4848. I laughed.
  4849. "Very well. I shall not look at _you_. I will look at the rest. I will
  4850. make it easier for you with my contempt."
  4851. Magnus fell into prolonged thought. Then he looked again at me
  4852. piercingly and quietly asked:
  4853. "And Maria?..."
  4854. Oh, cursed wretch! Again he hurled my heart upon the floor! I looked
  4855. at him wildly, like one aroused at night by fire. And three big waves
  4856. swept my breast. With the first wave rose the silent violins...ah,
  4857. how they wailed, just as if the musician played not upon strings but
  4858. upon my veins! Then in a huge wave with foamy surf there rolled by all
  4859. the images, thoughts and emotions of my recent, beloved human state:
  4860. think of it: everything was there! Even the lizzard that hissed at my
  4861. feet that evening beneath the moonlight. I recalled even the little
  4862. lizzard! And with the third wave there was rolled out quietly upon the
  4863. shore the holy name: _Maria_. And just as quietly it receded, leaving
  4864. behind a delicate lace of foam, and from beyond the sea burst forth
  4865. the rays of the sun, and for a moment, for one, little moment, I again
  4866. became a white schooner, with sails lowered. Where were the stars
  4867. while awaiting the word of the Lord of the universe to break forth in
  4868. all their brilliance? Madonna!
  4869. Magnus recalled me quietly.
  4870. "Where are you going? She is not there. What do you want?"
  4871. "Pardon me, dear Magnus, but I would like to see the Signorina Maria.
  4872. Only for a moment. I don't feel quite well. There is something
  4873. revolving in my eyes and head. Are you smiling, dear Magnus, or does
  4874. it only seem so to me? I have been gazing into the fire too long
  4875. and I can hardly discern the objects before me. Did you say: Maria?
  4876. Yes, I would like to see her. Then we shall continue our interesting
  4877. conversation. You will remind me just where we stopped, but meanwhile
  4878. I would be extremely obliged to you, if we were...to take a
  4879. little drive into the Campagna. It is so sweet there. And Signorina
  4880. Maria...."
  4881. "Sit down. You will see her presently."
  4882. But I continued to weave my nonsense--what in the devil had happened
  4883. to my head! I prattled on for a considerable period and now the
  4884. whole thing seems so ridiculous: Once or twice I pressed the heavy,
  4885. motionless hand of Thomas Magnus: apparently he must have looked like
  4886. my father at that moment. Finally, I subsided, partially regained my
  4887. senses but, in obedience to Magnus' command, remained in my chair and
  4888. prepared to listen.
  4889. "Can you listen now? You are quite excited, old man. Remember: the
  4890. senses, the Senses!"
  4891. "Yes, now I can go on. I...remember everything. Continue, old
  4892. friend. I am all attention."
  4893. Yes, I recollected everything but it was quite immaterial to me just
  4894. what Magnus said or what he might say: I was awaiting Maria. That is
  4895. how strong my love was! Turning aside for some reason and beating
  4896. time with his fingers on the table, Magnus said slowly and rather
  4897. reluctantly:
  4898. "Listen, Wondergood. In reality, it would be much more convenient
  4899. for me to throw you out into the street, you and your idiotic Toppi.
  4900. You wanted to experience _all_ human life and I would have viewed
  4901. with pleasure any efforts on your part to earn your own bread. You
  4902. are apparently no longer used to this? It would also have been very
  4903. interesting to know what would become of your grandiose contempt
  4904. when.... But I am not angry. Strange to say, I even nurse a feeling
  4905. of thankfulness for your...billions. And I am rather hopeful. Yes,
  4906. I still have a little hope that some day you may really grow to be a
  4907. man. And while this may prove an impediment to me, I am ready to take
  4908. you with me, but only--after a certain test. Are you still anxious to
  4909. have...Maria?"
  4910. "Yes."
  4911. "Very well."
  4912. Magnus rose with effort and moved toward the door. But he halted for a
  4913. moment and turned toward me and--surprising as it was on the part of
  4914. this scoundrel--he kissed my brow.
  4915. "Sit down, old man. I will call her immediately. The servants are all
  4916. out to-day."
  4917. He uttered the last sentence as he knocked feebly at the door. The
  4918. head of one of his _aides_ appeared for a moment and immediately
  4919. withdrew. With apparently the same effort Magnus returned to his place
  4920. and said with a sigh:
  4921. "She will be here at once."
  4922. We were silent. I fixed my eyes upon the tall door and it opened wide.
  4923. _Maria_ entered. With a quick step I moved to greet her and bowed
  4924. low. Magnus shouted:
  4925. "Don't kiss that hand!"
  4926. May 27.
  4927. I could not continue these notes yesterday. Do not laugh! This mere
  4928. combination of words: do not kiss that hand!--seemed to me the most
  4929. terrible utterance the human tongue was capable of. It acted upon me
  4930. like a magic curse. When I recall those words now they _interrupt_
  4931. everything I do and befog my whole being, transporting me into a
  4932. new state. If I happen to be speaking I grow silent, as if suddenly
  4933. stricken dumb. If I happen to be walking, I halt. If standing, I run.
  4934. If I happen to be asleep, no matter how deep my slumber, I awake and
  4935. cannot fall asleep again. Very simple, extremely simple words: Do not
  4936. kiss that hand!
  4937. And now listen to what happened further:
  4938. And so: I bowed over _Maria's_ hand. But so strange and sudden was
  4939. Magnus' cry, so great was the command in his hoarse voice, that it was
  4940. impossible to disobey. It was as if he had stopped a blind man on the
  4941. edge of a precipice! _But_ I failed to grasp his meaning and raised my
  4942. head in perplexity, still holding Maria's hand in mine, and looked at
  4943. Magnus. He was breathing heavily, as if he had actually witnessed my
  4944. fall into the abyss--and in reply to my questioning look, he said in a
  4945. stifled tone:
  4946. "Let her hand alone. Maria get away from him."
  4947. Maria released her hand and stepped aside, at a distance from me.
  4948. Still perplexed I watched her, standing alone! I tried to grasp the
  4949. situation. For a brief moment it seemed even extremely ludicrous and
  4950. reminded me of a scene in a comedy, in which the angry father comes
  4951. unexpectedly upon the sweethearts, but my silly laughter died away
  4952. immediately and in obedient expectation I raised my eyes to Magnus.
  4953. Magnus hesitated. Rising with an effort, he twice paced the length of
  4954. the room and halting before me, with his hands clasped behind him,
  4955. said:
  4956. "With all your eccentricities, you're a decent man, Wondergood. I have
  4957. _robbed_ you (that was how he put it) but I can no longer permit you
  4958. to kiss the hand of this woman. Listen! Listen! I have already told
  4959. you you must change your outlook upon men. I know it is very difficult
  4960. and I sympathize with you, but it is essential that you do it, old
  4961. friend. Listen! Listen! I misled you: Maria is not my daughter...I
  4962. have no children. Neither is she a...Madonna. She is my mistress
  4963. and she was that as recently as last night...."
  4964. Now I understand that Magnus was merciful in his own way and was
  4965. intentionally submerging me slowly into darkness. But at that time I
  4966. did not realize this and _slowly_ stifling, my breath gradually dying,
  4967. I lost consciousness. And when with Magnus' last words the light fled
  4968. from me and impenetrable night enveloped my being, I whipped out my
  4969. revolver and fired at Magnus several times in succession. I do not
  4970. know how many shots I fired. I remember only a series of laughing,
  4971. flickering flames and the movements of my hand, pushing the weapon
  4972. forward. I cannot remember at all how and when his _aides_ rushed in
  4973. and disarmed me. When I regained my senses this was the picture I
  4974. saw: the _aides_ were gone. I was sitting deep in my chair before the
  4975. dark fireplace, my hair was wet, while above my left eyebrow there
  4976. was a bandage soaked in blood. My collar was gone and my shirt was
  4977. torn, my left sleeve was almost entirely torn off, so that I had to
  4978. keep jerking it up constantly. Maria stood on the same spot, in the
  4979. same pose, as if she had not moved at all during the struggle. I was
  4980. surprised to see Toppi, who sat in a corner and gazed at me strangely.
  4981. At the table, with his back to me, stood Magnus. He was pouring out
  4982. some wine for himself.
  4983. When I heaved a particularly deep sigh, Magnus turned quickly and said
  4984. in a strangely familiar tone:
  4985. "Do you want some wine, Wondergood? You may have a glass now. Here,
  4986. drink.... You see you failed to hit me. I do not know whether to be
  4987. glad or not, but I am alive. To your health, old man!"
  4988. I touched my brow with my finger and mumbled:
  4989. "Blood...."
  4990. "A mere trifle, just a little scratch. It won't matter. Don't touch
  4991. it."
  4992. "It smells."
  4993. "With powder? Yes, that'll soon pass, too. Toppi is here. Do you
  4994. see him? He asked permission to stay here. You won't object if your
  4995. secretary remains while we continue our conversation? He is extremely
  4996. devoted to you."
  4997. I looked at Toppi and smiled. Toppi made a grimace and sighed gently:
  4998. "Mr. Wondergood! It is I, your Toppi."
  4999. And he burst into tears. This old devil, still emitting the odor
  5000. of fur, this old clown in black, this sexton with hanging nose,
  5001. this seducer of little girls--burst into tears! But still worse was
  5002. it when, blinking my eyes, I, too, began to weep, I, "the wise,
  5003. immortal, almighty!" Thus we both wept, two deceived devils who
  5004. happened to drop in upon this earth, and human beings--I am happy to
  5005. give them their due!--looked on with deep sympathy for our tears.
  5006. Weeping and laughing at the same time, I asked:
  5007. "It's difficult to be a man, Toppi?"
  5008. And Toppi, sobbing, replied obediently:
  5009. "Very difficult, Mr. Wondergood."
  5010. But here I happened to look at Maria and my sentimental tears
  5011. immediately dried. In general, that evening is memorable for the
  5012. sudden and ludicrous transformations of my moods. You probably know
  5013. them, old man? Now I wept and beat the lyre, like a weeping post, now
  5014. I became permeated with a stony calm and a sense of unconquerable
  5015. power, or I began to chatter nonsense, like a parrot scared to death
  5016. by a dog, and kept up my chatter, louder, sillier and more and more
  5017. unbearable, until a new mood bore me off into a deep and inexpressible
  5018. sadness. Magnus caught my look at Maria and smiled involuntarily. I
  5019. adjusted the collar of my torn shirt and said _dryly_:
  5020. "I do not know whether to be glad or sorry that I failed to kill
  5021. you, old friend. I am quite calm now, however, and would like you to
  5022. tell me everything about...that woman. But as you are a liar, let
  5023. me question her first. Signorina Maria, you were my bride? And in a
  5024. few days I hoped to call you my wife. But tell me the truth: are you
  5025. really...this man's mistress?"
  5026. "Yes, signor."
  5027. "And...how long?"
  5028. "Five years, signor."
  5029. "And how old are you now."
  5030. "Nineteen, signor."
  5031. "That means you were fourteen.... Now you may continue, Magnus."
  5032. "Oh, my God!"
  5033. (It was Toppi who exclaimed.)
  5034. "Sit down, Maria.--As you see, Wondergood,"--began Magnus in a dry and
  5035. calm tone, as if he were demonstrating not himself but some sort of a
  5036. chemical compound--"this mistress of mine is quite an extraordinary
  5037. phenomenon. With all her unusual resemblance to the Madonna, capable
  5038. of deceiving men better versed than you or I in religion, with all her
  5039. really unearthly beauty, chastity and charm--she is a licentious and
  5040. quite shameless creature, ready to sell herself from head to foot...."
  5041. "Magnus!"
  5042. "Calm yourself. You see how she listens to me? Even your old Toppi
  5043. is cringing and blushing while she--her gaze is clear and all her
  5044. features are filled with placid harmony...did you notice how clear
  5045. Maria's gaze is? Do you hear me?"
  5046. "Yes, certainly."
  5047. "Would you like wine or an orange? Take it. There it is on the table.
  5048. Incidentally, observe her graceful walk: she seems to be always
  5049. stepping lightly as if on flowers or clouds. What extraordinary beauty
  5050. and litheness! As an old lover of hers, I may also add the following
  5051. detail which you have not learned yet: she herself, her body, has the
  5052. fragrance of some flowers. Now as to her spiritual qualities, as the
  5053. psychologists put it. If I were to speak of them in ordinary language,
  5054. I would say she was as stupid as a goose,--quite a hopeless fool. But
  5055. she is cunning. And a liar. Very avaricious as regards money but she
  5056. likes it only in gold. Everything she told you she learned from me,
  5057. memorizing the more difficult lines...and I had quite a task in
  5058. teaching her. But I feared all the time that, despite your love, you
  5059. would be struck by her apparent lack of brains and that is why I kept
  5060. her from you the last few days."
  5061. Toppi sobbed:
  5062. "Oh, God! Madonna!"
  5063. "Does this astonish you, Mr. Toppi?"--Magnus asked, turning his head.
  5064. "I dare say you are not alone. Do you remember, Wondergood, what I
  5065. told you about Maria's _fatal_ resemblance, which drove one young man
  5066. to suicide. I did not lie to you altogether: the youth actually did
  5067. kill himself when he realized who Maria really was. He was pure of
  5068. soul. He loved as you do and as you he could not bear--how do you put
  5069. it?--the wreck of his ideal."
  5070. Magnus laughed:
  5071. "Do you remember Giovanni, Maria?"
  5072. "Slightly."
  5073. "Do you hear, Wondergood?" asked Magnus, laughing. "That is exactly
  5074. the tone in which she would have spoken of me a week hence if you
  5075. had killed me to-day. Have another orange, Maria.... But if I were
  5076. to speak of Maria in extraordinary language--she is not at all
  5077. stupid. She simply doesn't happen to have what is called a soul. I
  5078. have frequently tried to look deep into her heart and thoughts and
  5079. I have always ended in vertigo, as if I had been hurled to the edge
  5080. of an abyss: there was _nothing_ there. Emptiness. You have probably
  5081. observed, Wondergood, or you, Mr. Toppi, that ice is not as cold as
  5082. the brow of a _dead_ man? And no matter what emptiness familiar to you
  5083. you may imagine, my friends, it cannot be compared with that absolute
  5084. vacuum which forms the kernel of my beautiful, light-giving star.
  5085. Star of the Seas?--that was what you once called her, Wondergood, was
  5086. it not?"
  5087. Magnus laughed again and gulped down a glass of wine. He drank a great
  5088. deal that evening.
  5089. "Will you have some wine, Mr. Toppi? No? Well, suit yourself. I'll
  5090. take some. So that is why, Mr. Wondergood, I did not want you to kiss
  5091. the hand of that creature. Don't turn your eyes away, old friend.
  5092. Imagine you are in a museum and look straight at her, bravely. Did you
  5093. wish to say something, Toppi?"
  5094. "Yes, Signor Magnus. Pardon me, Mr. Wondergood, but I would like to
  5095. ask your permission to leave. As a gentleman, although not much of
  5096. that, I...cannot remain...at...."
  5097. Magnus narrowed his eyes derisively:
  5098. "At such a scene?"
  5099. "Yes, at such a scene, when one gentleman, with the silent approval
  5100. of another gentleman, insults a woman like _that_," exclaimed Toppi,
  5101. extremely irritated, and rose. Magnus, just as ironically, turned to
  5102. me:
  5103. "And what do you say, Wondergood? Shall we release this little,
  5104. extremely little, gentleman?"
  5105. "Stay, Toppi."
  5106. Toppi sat down obediently.
  5107. From the moment Magnus resumed, I, for the first time, regained my
  5108. breath and looked at Maria.
  5109. What shall I say to you? It was _Maria_. And here I understood a
  5110. little _what_ happens in one's brain when one begins to go mad.
  5111. "May I continue?" asked Magnus. "However, I have little to add.
  5112. Yes, I took her when she was fourteen or fifteen years old. She
  5113. herself does not know how old she really is, but I was not her first
  5114. lover...nor the tenth. I could never learn her past exactly. She
  5115. either lies cunningly or is actually devoid of memory. But even
  5116. the most subtle questioning, which even a most expert criminal
  5117. could not dodge, neither bribes nor gifts, nor threats--and she is
  5118. extremely cowardly!--could compel her to reveal herself. She does
  5119. not 'remember.' That's all. But her deep licentiousness, enough to
  5120. shame the Sultan himself, her extraordinary experience and daring in
  5121. ars amandi confirms my suspicion that she received her training in a
  5122. lupanaria or...or at the court of some Nero. I do not know how old
  5123. she is and she seems to change constantly. Why should I not say that
  5124. she is 20 or 2000 years old? Maria...you can do everything and you
  5125. know everything?"
  5126. I did not look at that woman. But in her answer there was a slight
  5127. displeasure:
  5128. "Don't talk nonsense. What will Mr. Wondergood think of me?"
  5129. Magnus broke into loud laughter and struck the table with his glass:
  5130. "Do you hear, Wondergood? She covets your good opinion. And if I
  5131. should command her to undress at once in your presence...."
  5132. "Oh, my God! My God!"--sobbed Toppi and covered his face with his
  5133. hands. I glanced quickly into Magnus' eyes--and remained rigid in
  5134. the terrible enchantment of his gaze. His face was laughing. This
  5135. pale mask of his was still lined with traces of faint laughter but
  5136. the eyes were dim and inscrutable. Directed upon me, they stared off
  5137. somewhere into the distance and were horrible in their expression of
  5138. dark and _empty_ madness: only the empty orbits of a skull could gaze
  5139. so threateningly and in such wrath.
  5140. And again darkness filled my head and when I regained my senses Magnus
  5141. had already turned and calmly sipped his wine. Without changing his
  5142. position, he raised his glass to the light, smelled the wine, sipped
  5143. some more of it and said as calmly as before:
  5144. "And so, Wondergood, my friend. Now you know about all there is to
  5145. know of Maria or the Madonna, as you called her, and I ask you: will
  5146. you take her or not? I give her away. Take her. If you say yes, she
  5147. will be in your bedroom to-day and...I swear by eternal salvation,
  5148. you will pass a very pleasant night. Well, what do you say?"
  5149. "Yesterday, you, and to-day, I?"
  5150. "Yesterday I,--to-day, you." He smiled: "What kind of man are you,
  5151. Wondergood, to speak of such trifles. Or aren't you used to having
  5152. some one else warm your bed? Take her. She is a fine girl."
  5153. "Whom are you torturing, Magnus:--me or yourself?"
  5154. Magnus looked at me ironically:
  5155. "What a wise boy! Of course, myself! You are a very clever American,
  5156. Mr. Wondergood, and I wonder why your career has been so mediocre.
  5157. Go to bed, dear children. Good night. What are you looking at,
  5158. Wondergood: do you find the hour too early? If so, take her out for
  5159. a walk in the garden. When you see Maria beneath the moonlight, 3000
  5160. Magnuses will be unable to prove that this heavenly maiden is the same
  5161. creature who...."
  5162. I flared up:
  5163. "You are a disgusting scoundrel and liar, Thomas Magnus! If she has
  5164. received her training in a lupanaria, then you, my worthy signor, must
  5165. have received your higher education in the penitentiary. Whence comes
  5166. that aroma which permeates so thoroughly your gentlemanly jokes and
  5167. witticisms. The sight of your pale face is beginning to nauseate me.
  5168. After enticing a woman in the fashion of a petty, common hero...."
  5169. Magnus struck the table with his fist. His bloodshot eyes were aflame.
  5170. "Silence! You are an inconceivable ass, Wondergood! Don't you
  5171. understand that I myself, like you, was deceived by her? Who, meeting
  5172. _Madonna_, can escape deception? Oh devil! What are the sufferings
  5173. of your little, shallow American soul in comparison with the pangs
  5174. of mine? Oh devil! Witticism, jests, gentlemen and ladies, asses
  5175. and tigers, gods and devils! Can't you see: this is not a woman,
  5176. this is--an eagle who daily plucks my liver! My suffering begins in
  5177. the morning. Each morning, oblivious to what passed the day before,
  5178. I see Madonna before me and believe. I think: what happened to me
  5179. yesterday? Apparently, I must be mistaken or did I miss anything?
  5180. It is impossible that this clear gaze, this divine walk, this pure
  5181. countenance of Madonna should belong to a prostitute. It is your soul
  5182. that is vile, Thomas Magnus: she is as pure as a host. And there
  5183. were occasions when, on my knees, I actually begged forgiveness of
  5184. this creature! Can you imagine it: on my knees! Then it was that I
  5185. was really a scoundrel, Wondergood. I idealized her, endowed her
  5186. with my thoughts and feelings and was overjoyed, like an idiot. I
  5187. almost wept with felicity when she mumblingly repeated what I would
  5188. say. Like a high priest I painted my idol and then knelt before it in
  5189. intoxication! But the truth proved stronger at last. With each moment,
  5190. with each hour, falsehood slipped off her body, so that, toward
  5191. night, I even beat her. I beat her and wept. I beat her cruelly as
  5192. does a procurer his mistress. And then came night with its Babylonian
  5193. licentiousness, the sleep of the dead and--oblivion. And then morning
  5194. again. And again Madonna. And again...oh, devil! Over night my faith
  5195. again grew, as did the liver of Prometheus, and like a bird of prey
  5196. she tortured me all day. I, too, am human, Wondergood!"
  5197. Shivering as if with cold, Magnus began to pace the room rapidly,
  5198. gazed into the dark fireplace and approached Maria. Maria lifted her
  5199. clear gaze to him, as if in question, while Magnus stroked her head
  5200. carefully and gently, as he would that of a parrot or a cat:
  5201. "What a little head! What a sweet, little head.... Wondergood! Come,
  5202. caress it!"
  5203. I drew up my torn sleeve and asked ironically:
  5204. "And it is this bird of prey that you now wish to give to me? Have
  5205. you exhausted your feed? You want my liver, too, in addition to my
  5206. billions?"
  5207. But Magnus had already calmed himself. Subduing his excitement and the
  5208. drunkenness which had imperceptibly come upon him, he returned to his
  5209. place without haste and ordered politely:
  5210. "I will answer you in a moment, Mr. Wondergood. Please withdraw to
  5211. your room Maria. I have something to say to Mr. Wondergood. And I
  5212. would ask you, too, my honorable Mr. Toppi, to depart. You may join my
  5213. friends in the salon."
  5214. "If Mr. Wondergood will so command...." replied Toppi, dryly, without
  5215. rising.
  5216. I nodded and, without looking at Magnus, my secretary obediently made
  5217. his exit. Maria, too, left the room. To tell the truth, I again felt
  5218. like clinging to his vest and weeping in the first few moments of my
  5219. tête-à-tête with Magnus: after all, this thief was my friend! But I
  5220. satisfied myself with merely swallowing my tears. Then followed a
  5221. moment of brief desperation at the _departure_ of Maria. And slowly,
  5222. as if from the realm of remote recollection, blind and wild anger and
  5223. the need of beating and destroying began to fill my heart. Let me
  5224. add, too, that I was extremely provoked by my torn sleeve that kept
  5225. slipping constantly: it was necessary for me to be stern and austere
  5226. and this made me seem ridiculous...ah, on what trifles does the
  5227. result of the greatest events depend on this earth! I lighted a cigar
  5228. and with studied gruffness hurled into the calm and hateful face of
  5229. Magnus:
  5230. "Now, you! Enough of comedy and charlatanism. Tell me what you want.
  5231. So you want me to surrender to that bird of prey of yours?"
  5232. Magnus replied calmly, although his eyes were burning with anger:
  5233. "Yes. That is the trial I wanted to subject you to, Wondergood.
  5234. I fear that I have succumbed slightly to the emotion of useless
  5235. and vain revenge and spoke more heatedly than was necessary in
  5236. Maria's presence. The thing is, Wondergood, that all that I have so
  5237. picturesquely described to you, all this passion and despair and
  5238. all these sufferings of...Prometheus really belong to the past. I
  5239. now look upon Maria without pain and even with a certain amount of
  5240. pleasure, as upon a beautiful and useful little beast...useful for
  5241. domestic considerations. You understand? What after all, is the liver
  5242. of Prometheus? It is all nonsense! In reality, I should be thankful to
  5243. Maria. She gnawed out with her little teeth my silly _faith_ and gave
  5244. me that clear, firm and realistic outlook upon life which permits of
  5245. no deceptions and...sentimentalisms. You, too, ought to experience
  5246. and grasp it, Wondergood, if you would follow Magnus Ergo."
  5247. I remained silent, lazily chewing my cigar. Magnus lowered his eyes
  5248. and continued still more calmly and dryly:
  5249. "Desert pilgrims, to accustom themselves to death, used to sleep in
  5250. coffins: let Maria be your coffin and when you feel like going to
  5251. church, kissing a woman and stretching your hand to a friend, just
  5252. look at Maria and her _father_, Thomas Magnus. Take her, Wondergood,
  5253. and you will soon convince yourself of the value of my gift. I don't
  5254. need her any longer. And when your humiliated soul shall become
  5255. inflamed with truly inextinguishable, human hatred and not with weak
  5256. contempt, come to me and I shall welcome you into the ranks of my
  5257. yeomanry, which will very soon.... Are you hesitating? Well, then go,
  5258. catch other lies, but be careful to avoid scoundrels and Madonnas, my
  5259. gentleman from Illinois!"
  5260. He broke into loud laughter and swallowed a glass of wine at one gulp.
  5261. His swollen calm evaporated. Little flames of intoxication, now merry,
  5262. now ludicrous, like the lights of a carnival, now triumphant, now dim,
  5263. like funeral torches at a grave, again sprang forth in his bloodshot
  5264. eyes. The scoundrel was drunk but held himself firmly, merely swaying
  5265. his branches, like an oak before a south wind. Rising and facing me,
  5266. he straightened his body cynically, as if trying to reveal himself in
  5267. his entirety, and well nigh spat these words at me:
  5268. "Well? How long do you intend to think about it, you ass? Come, quick,
  5269. or I'll kick you out! Quick! I'm tired of you! What's the use of my
  5270. wasting words? What are you thinking of?"
  5271. My head buzzed. Madly pulling up that accursed sleeve of mine, I
  5272. replied:
  5273. "I am thinking that you are an evil, contemptible, stupid and
  5274. repulsive beast! I am thinking in what springs of life or hell itself
  5275. I could find for you the punishment you deserve! Yes, I came upon this
  5276. earth to play and to laugh. Yes, I myself was ready to embrace any
  5277. evil. I myself lied and pretended, but you, hairy worm, you crawled
  5278. into my very heart and bit me. You took advantage of the fact that my
  5279. heart was human and bit me, you hairy worm. How dared you deceive me?
  5280. I will punish you."
  5281. "You? Me?"
  5282. I am glad to say that Magnus was astonished and taken aback. His eyes
  5283. widened and grew round and his open mouth naïvely displayed a set of
  5284. white teeth. Breathing with difficulty, he repeated:
  5285. "You? Me?"
  5286. "Yes. I--you."
  5287. "Police?"
  5288. "You are not afraid of it? Very well. Let all your courts be
  5289. powerless, remain unpunished on this earth, you evil conscienceless
  5290. creature! The day will come when the sea of falsehood, which
  5291. constitutes your life, will part and all your falsehood, too, will
  5292. give way and disappear. Let there be no foot upon this earth to crush
  5293. you, hairy worm. Let! I, too, am powerless here. But the day will come
  5294. when you will depart from this earth. And when you come to _Me_ and
  5295. fall under the shadow of my kingdom...."
  5296. "Your kingdom? Hold on, Wondergood. Who are you, then?"
  5297. And right at this point there occurred the most shameful event of my
  5298. entire earthly life. Tell me: is it not ridiculously funny when Satan,
  5299. even in human form, bends his knee in prayer to a prostitute and is
  5300. stripped naked by the very first man he meets? Yes, this is extremely
  5301. ridiculous and shameful of Satan, who bears with him the breath of
  5302. eternity. But what would you say of Satan when he turned into a
  5303. powerless and pitiful liar and pasted upon his head with a great
  5304. flourish the paper crown of a theatrical czar? I am ashamed, old man.
  5305. Give me one of your blows, the kind on which you feed your friends and
  5306. hired clowns. Or has this torn sleeve brought me to this senseless,
  5307. pitiful wrath? Or was this the last act of my human masquerade, when
  5308. man's spirit descends to the mire and sweeps the dust and dirt with
  5309. its breath? Or has the _ruin_ of Madonna, which I witnessed, dragged
  5310. Satan, too, into the same abyss?
  5311. But this was--think of it!--this was what I answered Magnus. Thrusting
  5312. out my chest, barely covered with my torn shirt, stealthily pulling
  5313. up my sleeve, so that it might not slip off entirely, and looking
  5314. sternly and angrily directly into the stupid, and as they seemed to
  5315. me, frightened eyes of the scoundrel Magnus, I replied _triumphantly_:
  5316. "I am--Satan!"
  5317. Magnus was silent for a moment--and then broke out into all the
  5318. laughter that a drunken, repulsive, human belly can contain. Of
  5319. course you, old man, expected that, but I did not. I swear by eternal
  5320. salvation, I did not! I shouted something but the brazen laughter of
  5321. this beast drowned my voice. Finally, taking advantage of a moment's
  5322. interval between his thundering peals of laughter, I exclaimed quickly
  5323. and modestly...like a footnote at the bottom of a page, like a
  5324. commentary of a publisher:
  5325. "Don't you understand: I am Satan. I have donned the human form! I
  5326. have donned the human form!"
  5327. He heard me with his eyes bulging, and with fresh thunderous roars of
  5328. laughter, the outbursts shaking his entire frame, he moved toward the
  5329. door, flung it open and shouted:
  5330. "Here! Come here! Here is Satan! In human...human garb!"
  5331. And he disappeared behind the door.
  5332. Oh, if I could only have fallen through the floor, disappeared or
  5333. flown away, like a real devil, on wings, in that endless moment,
  5334. during which he was gathering the _public_ for an extraordinary
  5335. spectacle. And now they came--all of them, damn them: Maria and all
  5336. the six _aides_ and my miserable Toppi, and Magnus himself, and
  5337. completing the procession--His Eminence, Cardinal X.! The cursed,
  5338. shaven monkey walked with great dignity and even bowed to me, after
  5339. which he sat down, just as dignified, in an armchair and carefully
  5340. covered his knees with his robes. All were wondering, not knowing yet
  5341. what it was all about, and glanced now at me and now at Magnus, who
  5342. tried hard to look serious.
  5343. "What's the trouble, Signor Magnus?" asked the Cardinal in a
  5344. benevolent tone.
  5345. "Permit me to report the following, your Eminence: Mr. Henry
  5346. Wondergood has just informed me that he is--Satan. Yes, Satan, and
  5347. that he has merely donned the human form. And thus our assumption that
  5348. he is an American from Illinois falls. Mr. Wondergood is Satan and
  5349. apparently has but recently deigned to arrive from Hell. What shall
  5350. we do about it, Your Eminence?"
  5351. Silence might have saved me. But how could I restrain this maddened
  5352. Wondergood, whose heart was aflame with insult! Like a lackey who
  5353. has appropriated his celebrated master's name and who faintly senses
  5354. something of his grandeur, power and connections--Wondergood stepped
  5355. forward and said with an ironic bow:
  5356. "Yes, I am Satan. But I must add to the speech of Signor Magnus that
  5357. not only do I wear the human form but also that I have been robbed.
  5358. Are those _two_ scoundrels who have robbed me known to you, Your
  5359. Eminence? And are you, perhaps, one of them, Your Eminence?"
  5360. Magnus alone continued to smile. The rest, it seemed to me, grew
  5361. serious and awaited the Cardinal's reply. It followed. The shaven
  5362. monkey, it developed, was not a bad actor. Pretending to be startled,
  5363. the Cardinal raised his right hand and said with an expression of
  5364. extreme goodness, contrasting sharply with his words and gesture:
  5365. "Vade Petro Satanas!"
  5366. I am not going to describe to you how they laughed. You can imagine
  5367. it. Even Maria's teeth parted slightly. Almost losing consciousness
  5368. from anger and impotence, I turned to Toppi for sympathy and aid. But
  5369. Toppi, covering his face with his hands, was cringing in the corner,
  5370. silent. Amid general laughter, and ringing far above it, came the
  5371. heavy voice of Magnus, laden with infinite ridicule:
  5372. "Look at the plucked rooster. That is Satan!"
  5373. And again there came an outburst of laughter. His Eminence
  5374. continuously shook, as though flapping his wings, and choked and
  5375. whined. The monkey's gullet could hardly pass the cascades of
  5376. laughter. I tore off that accursed sleeve madly and waving it like
  5377. a flag, I ventured into a sea of falsehood, with full sails set. I
  5378. knew that somewhere ahead there were rocks against which I might be
  5379. shattered but the tempest of impotence and anger bore me on like a
  5380. chip of wood.
  5381. I am ashamed to repeat my speech here. Every word of it was trembling
  5382. and wailing with impotency. Like a village vicar, frightening his
  5383. ignorant parishioners, I threatened them with _Hell_ and with all the
  5384. Dantean tortures of literary fame. Oh, I did know something that I
  5385. might really have frightened them with but how could I express the
  5386. _extraordinary_ which is inexpressible in their language? And so I
  5387. prattled on of eternal fire. Of eternal torture. Of unquenchable
  5388. thirst. Of the gnashing of teeth. Of the fruitlessness of tears
  5389. and pleading. And what else? Ah, even of red hot forks I prattled,
  5390. maddened more and more by the indifference and shamelessness of these
  5391. shallow faces, these small eyes, these mediocre souls, regarding
  5392. themselves above punishment. But they remained unmoved and smug, as
  5393. if in a fortress, beyond the walls of their mediocrity and fatal
  5394. blindness. And all my words were shattered against their impenetrable
  5395. skulls! And think of it, the only one who was really frightened was
  5396. my Toppi! And yet he alone could _know_ that all my words were lies!
  5397. It was so unbearably ridiculous when I met his pleading frightened
  5398. eyes, that I abruptly ended my speech, suddenly, at its very climax.
  5399. Silently, I waved my torn sleeve, which served me as a standard,
  5400. once or twice, and hurled it into the corner. For a moment it seemed
  5401. to me that the shaven monkey, too, was frightened: the blue of his
  5402. cheeks seemed to stand out sharply upon the pale, square face and
  5403. the little coals of his eyes were glowing suspiciously beneath his
  5404. black, bushy eyebrows. But he slowly raised his hand and the same
  5405. sacrilegiously-jesting voice broke the general silence:
  5406. "Vade Petro Satanas!"
  5407. Or did the Cardinal try to hide behind this jest his actual fright? I
  5408. do not know. I know nothing. If I could not destroy them, like Sodom
  5409. and Gomorrah, is it worth while speaking of cold shivers and goose
  5410. flesh? A mere glass of wine can conquer them.
  5411. And Magnus, like the skilled healer of souls that he was, said calmly:
  5412. "Will you have a glass of wine, Your Eminence?"
  5413. "With pleasure," replied the Cardinal.
  5414. "But none for Satan," added Magnus jestingly, pouring out the wine.
  5415. But he could speak and do anything he pleased now: Wondergood was
  5416. squeezed dry and hung like a rag upon the arm of the chair.
  5417. After the wine had been drunk, Magnus lit a cigarette (he smokes
  5418. cigarettes), cast his eye over the audience, like a lecturer before a
  5419. lecture, motioned pleasantly to Toppi, now grown quite pale, and said
  5420. the following...although he was obviously drunk and his eyes were
  5421. bloodshot, his voice was firm and his speech flowed with measured calm:
  5422. "I must say, Wondergood, that I listened to you very attentively and
  5423. your passionate tirade created upon me, I may say, a great, artistic
  5424. impression...at certain points you reminded me of the best passages
  5425. of Brother Geronimo Savanarola. Don't you also find the same striking
  5426. resemblance, Your Eminence? But alas! You are slightly behind the
  5427. times. Those threats of hell and eternal torture with which you might
  5428. have driven the beautiful and merry Florence to panic ring extremely
  5429. unconvincing in the atmosphere of contemporary Rome. The sinners have
  5430. long since departed from the earth, Mr. Wondergood. Have not you
  5431. noticed that? And as for criminals, and, as you have expressed it,
  5432. scoundrels,--a plain commissary of police is much more alarming to
  5433. them than Beelzebub himself with his whole staff of devils. I must
  5434. also confess that your reference to the court of history and posterity
  5435. was rather strange when contrasted with the picture you painted of
  5436. the tortures of hell and your reference to eternity. But here, too,
  5437. you failed to rise to the height of contemporary thought: every fool
  5438. nowadays knows that history records with equal impartiality both
  5439. the names of saints and of rogues. The whole point, Mr. Wondergood,
  5440. which you, as an American, should be particularly familiar with,
  5441. is in the scope with which history treats its respective subjects
  5442. and heroes. The lashings history administers to its great criminals
  5443. differ but little from her laurels--when viewed at a distance and
  5444. this little distinction eventually becomes quite invisible--I assure
  5445. you, Wondergood. In fact, it disappears entirely! And in so far as
  5446. the biped strives to find a place in history--and we are all animated
  5447. by this desire, Mr. Wondergood--it need not be particular through
  5448. which door it enters: I beg the indulgence of His Eminence, but no
  5449. prostitute received a new guest with greater welcome than does history
  5450. a new...hero. I fear, Wondergood, that your references to hell as
  5451. well as those to history have fallen flat. Ah, I fear your hope in the
  5452. police will prove equally ill-founded: I have failed to tell you that
  5453. His Eminence has received a certain share of those billions which you
  5454. have transferred to me in such a perfectly legal manner, while his
  5455. connections...you understand?"
  5456. Poor Toppi: all he could do was to keep on blinking! The _aides_ broke
  5457. into loud laughter, but the Cardinal mumbled angrily, casting upon me
  5458. the burning little coals of his eyes:
  5459. "He is indeed a brazen fellow. He said he is Satan. Throw him out,
  5460. Signor Magnus. This is sacrilege!"
  5461. "Is that so?" smiled Magnus politely: "I did not know that Satan, too,
  5462. belonged to the heavenly chair...."
  5463. "Satan is a fallen angel," said the Cardinal in an instructive tone.
  5464. "And as such he is in your service? I understand," Magnus bowed his
  5465. head politely in acceptance of this truth and turned smilingly to me:
  5466. "Do you hear, Wondergood? His Eminence is irritated by your audacity."
  5467. I was silent. Magnus winked at me slyly and continued with an air of
  5468. artificial importance:
  5469. "I believe, Your Eminence, that there must be some sort of
  5470. misunderstanding here. I know the modesty and well-informed mind of
  5471. Mr. Wondergood and I suppose that he utilized the name of Satan merely
  5472. as an artistic gesture. Does Satan ever threaten people with the
  5473. police? But my unfortunate friend did. And, in general, has anybody
  5474. ever seen _such_ a Satan?"
  5475. He stretched his hand out to me in an effective gesture--and the reply
  5476. to this was another outburst of laughter. The Cardinal, too, laughed,
  5477. and Toppi alone shook his wise head, as if to say:
  5478. "Idiots!"...
  5479. I think Magnus must have noticed that. Or else he fell into
  5480. intoxication. Or was it because that spirit of murder with which his
  5481. soul was aflame could not remain passive and was tearing at the leash.
  5482. He threateningly shook his heavy, explosive head and shouted:
  5483. "Enough of this laughter! It is silly. Why are you so sure of
  5484. yourselves? It is stupid, I tell you. I believe in nothing and that
  5485. is why I admit _everything_. Press my hand, Wondergood: they are all
  5486. fools and I am quite ready to admit that you are Satan. Only you have
  5487. fallen into a bad mess, friend Satan. Because it will not save you. I
  5488. will soon throw you out anyhow! Do you hear...devil?"
  5489. He shook his finger at me threateningly and then lapsed into thought,
  5490. dropping his head low and heavily, with his red eyes ablaze, like
  5491. those of a bull, ready to hurl himself upon his enemy. The _aides_ and
  5492. the insulted Cardinal were silent with confusion. Magnus again shook
  5493. his finger at me significantly and said:
  5494. "If you are Satan, then you've come here too late. Do you understand?
  5495. What did you come here for, anyway? To play, you say? To tempt? To
  5496. laugh at us human beings? To invent some sort of a new, evil game? To
  5497. make us dance to your tune? Well,--you're too late. You should have
  5498. come earlier, for the earth is grown now and no longer needs your
  5499. talents. I speak not of myself, who deceived you so easily and took
  5500. away your money: I, Thomas Ergo. I speak not of Maria. But look at
  5501. these modest little friends of mine: where in your hell will you find
  5502. such charming, fearless devils, ready for any task? And yet they are
  5503. so small,--they will not even find a place in history."
  5504. It was after this that Thomas Magnus blew me up, in the holy city of
  5505. Rome, in the Palazzo Orsini, when I still belonged to the American
  5506. billionaire, Henry Wondergood. Do you remember that genial American
  5507. with his cigar and patent gold teeth? Alas! He is no longer with us.
  5508. He died suddenly and you will do well if you order a requiem mass for
  5509. him: his Illinois soul is in need of your prayers.
  5510. Let us receive the last breath of Henry Wondergood, blown up by the
  5511. culprit Thomas Magnus, and buried by Maria in the evening, when the
  5512. moon was shining brightly.
  5513. THE END
  5514. * * * * *
  5515. Transcriber's Notes
  5516. Punctuation has been standardised.
  5517. Characters in small caps have been replaced by all caps.
  5518. Italic text has been denoted by _underscores_.
  5519. This book was written in a period when many words had not become
  5520. standarized in their spelling. Numerous words have multiple spelling
  5521. and hypenating variations in the text. These have been left unchanged
  5522. while obvious spelling mistakes have been repaired unless noted below:
  5523. Pg 17 - The following jumbled sentence has been edited to remove
  5524. the repeated phrases: "Again silence. Finally there came
  5525. a gruff voice, Still silence. I knocked. Again silence.
  5526. Finally there came a gruff voice, asking from behind
  5527. the iron door:"
  5528. Pg 58 - Part of the sentence asking about Maria appears
  5529. to be missing from the original.
  5530. (seek him in eternity.")
  5531. End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Satan's Diary, by Leonid Andreyev
  5532. *** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SATAN'S DIARY ***
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